Zachapalooza! @zachapalooza - Tumblr Blog

Dog toy plushies have fundamentally different souls than that of regular plushies. Unlike regular plushies, which are content with just existing (and just go to regular heaven when they get destroyed and don’t mind being resurrected), dog toys seek Valhalla. This is why you don’t need to feel bad when your dog/cat/especially strong bird rips it to shreds, because this was the warriors death they were seeking all their life

fravery

Winter's Window, 2023 by Jef Bourgeau.

lizardsfromspace

Meanwhile, in the world of football, the Pop Tart Bowl had an anthropomorphic Pop Tart who asked to be lowered into a giant toaster, holding a sign saying "DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE"

The toaster then spat out a human-sized Pop Tart with a face for the winning team to eat

And they devoured the edible mascot ravenously

zehrdoktor-deactivated20260425

opalescenze

noahverrier

My oil painting of home made Uncrustables

sharpibees

weird night, strange men🏜️

elierlick

This was the entire statement... wow they're not even hiding it anymore.

enchantedbook

Art by Julia Petrova

stars-bean

Young Frankenstein (1974) dir. Mel Brooks

vacuously-true

Oh so the plural of surgeon general is surgeons general, huh? Well what about bunnies rabbit. Puppies dog. KITTIES CAT. Did you ever think of that, you sillies goose?

mother-shipper

wilwheaton

theconcealedweapon

Now this would be an actual heartwarming story.

warningsine

sixmapleleafs

I found this on tiktok and I laughed so hard so I thought I’d share on here

It’s so chaotic I love it

the-privateer

just so you guys are all aware, the only reason gritty exists is allegedly because the NHL made a rule that every team HAD to have a mascot and were apparently assholes about it. so the fliers made him as a chaotic fuck you. hell the first tweet made on his official account was a “sleep with one eye open” threat towards another mascot for making fun of his design

0v9

are we not going to talk about how he launched an entire sheetcake into that man’s face, probably killing him?

He also collects crystals

tenaflyviper

I fucking love Gritty.

heartsnbruises

the best part about Gritty was when he was unveiled, the entirety of Philadelphia reacted with “wtf is this shit” until the rest of the world reacted with “wtf is this shit,” whereupon we lashed back with “FUCK ALL Y'ALL HE IS THE BEST FUCKING MASCOT EVER AND WE LOVE HIM WITH EVERY FIBER OF OUR BEING” because Philadelphia.

elljayvee

I have to explain you a thing, tumblr.

Gritty is so popular in Pennsylvania that he is popular in Pittsburgh. You have to understand, this does not happen. Pittsburgh and Philly sit at opposite ends of the state hating on everything about each other just because it’s tradition. We hate each others’ gas station food marts, we hate each others’ sports team, we hate each others’ stupid geography, we just think each other are extremely punchable at all times.

and yet you can stop yinzers in Penguins jerseys in downtown Pittsburgh and ask them what they think about Gritty and they will tell you they hate the Flyers but that Gritty is fuckin’ funny.

Have a butter Gritty with PA’s Lt. Gov.