[zainmehdi19]

One thing you learn down the road, later on in life is that you never really stop loving that one person you truly loved. It sticks with you all your life. Follows you everywhere. Shapes you as a person. Moulds you into being more kind and caring. Changes how you perceive things. Stirs your soul forever, in an unimaginable magical way. You don't disrespect what you had. You continue to love them from a distance and appreciate everything they did for you.

You wish them all the happiness anyone has ever made, pray that you get to see them reaching all their goals they once never stopped telling you about, hoping to see their face light up somewhere in Venice just through your phone, knowing that they finally made it. You come to peace with the fact that when it's true, you can love them with the same madness even from a far..

[zainmehdi19]

We were eating fries this one time. She had finished half of her bucket. Ever so adorably, she looked at mine being completely full and made that face, that stare with sparkling innocent baby eyes. "I'm gonna have your bucket hahaha??...", she laughed making it sound like a question, like she was asking if she could take it. But being nervous if I would give it to her. Therefore she just put the question out to me in the most adorable way I have ever known. My heart melted right away at seeing how gullible she is.

Like, I have given you my heart! Why on earth wouldn't I give you my fries?? I mean, everyone knows it's a universal fact that no matter how many bucket of fries the guy gets, all of them belong to his girl. We don't make these rules. It is, what it is. Hearing her sneakily joke and politely ask about taking my bucket of fries, I laughed. And immediately swapped her bucket of fries with mine. Now I had two things, a half bucket of fries, and a really happy baby that came with the bucket of fries uncalled for, but I'd take it with open arms anytime.

I remember when we'd take pictures, she'd be so indulged in finding the most perfect scene. She'd run here and there like a cute little minion that she is, and when she finds it, she'd get super excited like a little baby so young at heart. And I wouldn't say anything but stare her in absolutely awe of her, falling in love with her all over again. Before I say anything romantic to her, she would just shut me up by jumping with excitement asking me to make sure that the sun is shining on her right side of the face, just next to her nose, but not more than that. I would take her pictures till the sun sets. We'd have a whole album of her. And on our way back she'd say that only two pictures are postable, with a smirk on her face, just trying to annoy me..

That's what intimacy is, I guess. It happens right there within the smallest of things you do together. It just happens without even trying, that's what makes it so breathtakingly beautiful..

[zainmehdi19]

We all had, or have someone we'd relate this poem to..

[zainmehdi19]

Hey guys I have started working on fiverr. To be precise, i will write an essay, letter or paragraph on any topic of your choice. I can provide proofreading of any of your text.

I am at your service. Feel free to message me for any queries.

[zainmehdi19]

Saying all lives matter while enjoying the white privilege, while the black gets oppressed badly is like calling the firefighters and asking them to water your house when only the neighbor's house is burning down to the ground.

#blacklivesmatter

[zainmehdi19]

I actually had to write it, you know? But It was so hard. I thought the scene would never work out. It was raining. And everything was just so still and lifeless. I couldn't feel the drops tapping my window, because I'm a man who isn't moved by the mere water.

I want something raw, something exciting. I wanted someone who would actually be so young at heart, who would be all golly at even the thought of going out into the rain. And there you were, right beside my broken mailbox, holding it, going round in circles around it. Putting all your weight on it, without a single care in the world that it would break off and you'd make a huge splash when you fall. But I'm sure that even if you do somehow fall, you'd clap your hands in the water and laugh "splash splash splash!"

Without even caring that the rusty mailbox might belong to someone old with a crooked hook inplace of their right foot. Or it's the house kids are scared to go in, to fetch for the ball. Not that it is. No! It belongs to me. But it just melts my heart, and then makes me laugh how you just keep dancing in the rain, making splash with every step in the puddle, living life to the fullest like its supposed to be lived. And mesmerized I am on seeing how my hand keeps spilling words so fluently for you, without even trying. Maybe that's what it wants to do all its life. They belong, for you, to me, who'd like to appreciate someone as gullible as you all his life. Who wouldn't mind writing about you even when you're sound asleep. As cheesy as i am, maybe i would write a poem about the way you snore. Maybe you'll like it. Or perhaps I'll sleep on the couch that night.

What im trying to say is that, I would like to walk into your kitchen, hungry for you. And caress your forehead with my lips while you drip the soapy water all over my face and say "splash splash splash!" And then laugh like a little baby, so young at heart forever..

[zainmehdi19]

Telling a guy to gain some weight, is same as telling a woman to lose some weight.

When you tell either of them to lose or gain some weight. You're not just walking on fragile egg shells of their personality, but you break every ounce of confidence, all the progress they've made so far in trying to love their body.

No one is perfect. Stop telling everyone to get into perfect shape! Stop making people feel insecure about themselves. It mentally destroys them. Instead, try telling them they look nice. "That shirt looks so pretty on you!" It doesn't cost anything to make anyone feel happy about themselves.

I still remember a compliment someone gave me in 5th grade of our eid festival, because now that i look back, i rarely got any; people are rarely nice to each other. People are so harsh on each other. That the love we crave so much, the healing we need, the kindness that can actually mend our soul, just gets lost in the way..

-Zainmehdi19

[zainmehdi19]

❗

[zainmehdi19]

[zainmehdi19]

[zainmehdi19]

If anyone ever dismisses you for being too sensitive, ask yourself this: who is more fragile?

The person who is brave enough to share when something hurts? Or the person who can not apologise or admit having caused pain?

Sensitivity, empathy, compassion, these are badass superpowers..

[zainmehdi19]

Your insecurities, self doubt, opening up issues, emotional block, and many more psychological problems go way back to highschool. When at the building stage of life, you once tried to open up to someone and they got all confused and ended up laughing at you. That other time someone made fun of your skin colour. When someone laughed at your physical deficiency i.e just being not that pretty?

Which isn't even a deficiency in the first place!! but that's where insecurity and self doubt was embedded in your mind. That's exactly where you were born to be really anxious about yourself. Your confidence just shatters, and you're never able to reach your full potential until you pick yourself up. But its not that easy as it seems.. so hey, please just be nice to each other. Being kind to each other through speech, is really effective and healing to people who are suffering..

[zainmehdi19]

i think the scariest part of this time is the possibility of everyone making it to the other side, unharmed, but unchanged..

[zainmehdi19]

The smashing of plates, the slamming of doors, the punching of walls. It's all domestic violence. It's start of a burning wick that leads to a horrific end. These objects that we hit, are placeholders for people we aren't allowed to hit. And one day, those placeholders don't do the job anymore and you end up laying hands on your partner. A push turns into a punch, which consequently turns into smashing them against the wall. Which at the end, most or some of the time, escalates to murder.

If you have anger issues, please make sure you don't release it onto some objects or something else. Learn to deal with your anger yourself. Go out. Get some air. Sit down. Take some water. Take deep breathes. In and out. And then tell yourself that this mere smashing the door, punching the wall, smashing the plates can turn into something bizzare later on in your life. Seek therapy the earliest if it isn't working, because you need to let go of this toxic trait before it ruins your, and your partner's life.

[zainmehdi19]

But i guess, i don't want to be dangerously cold. you did what you did.. i want to be unbothered, accepting and mature. maybe not even cold, perhaps i just want to be cool with everything that happened, because moving on isn't being bitter about someone you knew. maybe it's just finally being able to breathe even when someone says their name out loud; finally being able to find solace in the fact that you are in a much better place..

[zainmehdi19]

I think, being an average and not so good looking person, you tend to be more sensitive about other people's needs and feelings because you have been through people not being able to meet your needs all your life and you know how it feels to be left unwanted every single time you express your emotions.

Therefore you develop empathy and a sense of care towards anyone close to you. That, most self obsessed people don't. You never leave them feeling unwanted for you have felt miserable because of that sole feeling all your life. You start putting their feelings, their needs ahead of yourself.

And i don't know if it's noble, or stupid. But it's the way it is..

[zainmehdi19]

I don't even know how to smile lmao..