Zarb the Bard

she/her Ah fuck I guess I have to take this more seriously. Streamer, occasional artist, unfortunately likes Fire Emblem. I stream Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday from 11 PM CT to 3 AM CT. Twitch Twitter Tumblr

[shencomix]

[woolandflax]

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

[woolandflax]

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

[woolandflax]

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

[inthefallofasparrow]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[catchymemes]

@goth-queen

[one-time-i-dreamt]

This is a lot to unpack

[animentality]

[wingedwoif94]

I guess this is what would happen if a werewolf bit a skeleton.

[pansyfemme]

“you dress so feminine but expect people to use he/him” ya lol because i believe that people still have to respect me even if i dont fit their image of a normal trans person lol

[sweetoothgirl]

Black Sesame Milk

[prrb]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[pukicho]

SUCCESS!!! 5 words per minute on my new ergo keyboard. Efficiency downgraded DRASTICALLY! Good job!!! 👍👍👍

[pukicho]

Yeah carpel tunnel, which this fixes

[opwolfe]

That keyboard is a sin against humanity

[pukicho]

MANY of you would have unquestioningly went along with the Salem witch trials.

[catboybiologist]

Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there

[catboybiologist]

Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now

[catboybiologist]

So there's two species of sea lion in North America: the California sea lion, ranging along California (including Baja) but not ranging into the north coast or into oregon

And the Stellar's sea lion, which are WAY bigger and live in Washington, British Columbia, and Alaska

A male Stellars sea lion showed up in SF like a month ago and just kinda. Didn't know what to do, and joined a colony of California sea lions, and is just kinda chilling there now.

[catboybiologist]

Weird vagrant species happen from time to time, but this is just a particularly funny instance of a highly social species getting very lost, and just trying to blend in with its closest nearby relatives

[evilwizard]

apparently some idiot on the Wizard council lost his tharxian warding crystal in the suction dimension and broke the great circle keeping the demon lord Pentalagon in his spectral sarcophagus. so like. that was my evil plan. i spent 3,000 years working on this and they just started the Thaumaclysm on accident. what am i supposed to do with all this mayonnaise now

[evilwizard]

getting my little goblin minions to punch and stab me in the middle of the grocery store to try and whittle me down to half health so i can assume my final boss form and reach the top shelf

[evilwizard]

i don’t trust them with that power…

[evilwizard]

idc about fluoride in the water supply im petitioning my congressman to add a drop of that mysterious green fluid that emits a ghostly green skull when you put it in

[evilwizard]

just one☝️drop a week could turn everyone sickly

[mooglythegreatandgoogly]

boss, is this stuff supposed to make pink smoke hearts?

[evilwizard]

wuhoh

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[willgrahamscock]

YOURE 30???????

yeah I mean i've been posting on tumblr since 2011, I'm part of the geriatric tumblrinas

[willgrahamscock]

#you started blogging when I was 2