6MHz Squirrel in a 15MHz Worl

I am not actually a squirrel OR a Z80 CPU! I lied on the internet! My favorite pronouns are they/them, xe/xyr, she/her, vi/vim, and 5/6. 64 years young

[thebibliosphere]

Why must I be awake.

[thebibliosphere]

#another victim of the woke agenda

@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?

[natalieironside]

I wish it paid more

[kn0wmore]

[cowboyified]

[homunculus-argument]

I'm not a catholic and have never even seen one up close, but I think the pope should start excommunicating people on the reg again. Just start publicly going "you know what, fuck you, you can't sit with us. You're not allowed in church or heaven on the grounds of being JD Vance. Eat shit and go to hell."

Stir shit up a little. What's the point of being the mouthpiece of god if nothing you say has consequences.

[homunculus-argument]

it's rushed and ugly, but I threw this together about it anyway.

[best-of-inspirobot]

[tearlessrain]

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

[tearlessrain]

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

[wannabemumma]

“Hey store manager from the hit movie Elf, what is the primary group that celebrates pride month and, more importantly, when does it start?”

[hbmmaster]

cow tipping is such a top tier common misconception. "yeah there's this fun activity people do sometimes and in order for it to sound possible you need to not have enough experience with cows to have ever seen one sleeping before. but uh yeah I know a guy whose cousin does it." and somehow this became a thing everyone knows about

[hbmmaster]

it's sort of like. imagine if people said "out in the country people break into farms to steal chickens to use them as flashlights. you know, because chickens glow in the dark" and for some reason most people didn't question any aspect of this concept

[hbmmaster]

okay there's people in the notes claiming that cow tipping is real actually which means it's time for

wait what even is cow tipping though (like regardless of if it's a "real thing", what is the thing the term "cow tipping" refers to)

it's when you go up to a sleeping cow and knock it over, somehow

it's when you go up to any cow and knock it over, somehow

it's when you go up to a cow and sorta push it without expectation of results

it's a euphemism for some other activity

it means something else

I do not know what cow tipping is supposed to be

[show results]

Remaining time: 3 days 14 hours

[janmisali]

pick whatever option the person you're following who reblogged this post didn't pick. if they didn't say in the tags what they picked or if you're seeing the original post and not a reblog, pick at random instead.

first option

second option

Remaining time: 3 days 21 hours

[bacteriumphage]

Thought that post was cute so i drew it

[negativeresponse]

WHAT omg i love them holy shit 💜💜💜💜

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[wanhyutji]

Actually I DO think twelve year olds should get hrt. That’s the normal age to start puberty, so why does it have to be different for trans kids?

[starsharts-blog]

If you think trans kids don’t deserve the right to a timely and correct puberty – the same way cis kids already get – you are transphobic.

[wre7ch]

if trans kids are too young to start puberty so are cis kids

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

rip critical reading born 12,000 years ago in mesopotamia died on twitter in 2013. :( rest easy king.

[theabigailthorn]

Abigail Stabigail

[janmisali]

do you think your response to this poll will get a higher percentage of votes than "[show results]" gets?

yes

no

[show results]

Remaining time: 1 day 13 hours

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[1percentcharge]

Boroughs of New York City ranked by how feminist their names are (updated; 2023 edition)

1. Queens (needs no explanation)

2. Brooklyn (Brooke and Lynn are both women’s names. Passes the Bechdel test)

3. Staten Island (no man is an island)

4. The Bronx (has an x, gender neutral)

5. Manhattan (literally has man in the name)

[janmisali]

I saw you mention "he*/they" pronouns in one of your posts. What exactly does that mean and how does that differ from the "they/them" compromise?

he is correct but no other masculine terms are

[janmisali]

I used to be more playful about this sort of thing under the assumption that the average tumblr user knows obviously you shouldn't call a nonbinary person a man without an overwhelming amount of evidence that the person in question identifies with the specific term used but then I responded to an ask where someone called me Mr. Misali with "who is Mr. Misali" and the first two consecutive reblogs with comment were both long-time followers who thought the joke I was doing was pretending not to recognize my own name, which Mr. Misali clearly is (?). so since then I have learned that I need to be more direct about this