also i dont know how i havent thought about this before but the terms yaoi and yuri are super uninclusive when it comes to nonbinary people, as is the way we perceive ships in general. like society has progressed enough to the point where they/them pronouns were an option on the paperwork when i went to the doctor recently. when i was applying to colleges and it asked what gender i identified as, there was an option for nonbinary on almost every single application. almost everyone i know irl at least tries to use they/them pronouns for me. im able to exist in the real world as a nonbinary person.
and yet, on tumblr, one of the most progressive places on the internet, there is no official term for a ship between two nonbinary people. the only term ive ever seen floated has been "yaori," a hodgepodge of yaoi and yuri, which in itself makes being nonbinary seem as if it's something in between being a man and a woman. and while some people may identify like that, being nonbinary is a HUGE umbrella term that encompasses a TON of different gender identities, and simply saying being nonbinary falls in between men and women when it comes to gender completely dismisses nonbinary people who identify otherwise!!
also also, on ao3, there only really exist three main shipping labels. M/M, F/F, and M/F. there's Gen, Multi, and Other, yeah, but no categories for nonbinary ships. we deserve better than to be lumped in with M/M or F/F ships! we don't deserve to be dumped in the Other tag! we deserve to be able to be seen as nonbinary!!
also also also, nonbinary erasure is a huge and real thing!! there exist SO few nonbinary characters in mainstream media, and even those who do exist tend to be pointlessly gendered by their fandoms. prime example: a few years ago i saw a person using he/him for a character who canonically uses they/them. i went and let that person know that said character uses they/them, just in case they were unaware (because SO much of the fandom used he/they for this character for NO REASON) and a bunch of people from all over the fandom got really mad with me because i shouldn't have been policing people's headcanons.
and like. okay. sure. you are allowed to have headcanons. but when it's a FANDOM WIDE THING that a character who uses they/them pronouns is referred to with he/they instead, isn't that an issue???? doesn't that go beyond one person's headcanons?????? doesn't that suggest something about nonbinary erasure as a whole?????????????????
i dont know. unfortunately the lack of nonbinary characters in media means that rarely im in a fandom with all that many nonbinary characters (which is a problem in itself), so i can't really say how big of a problem this is in other fandoms. but people grouping nonbinary identities with male and female genders completely disregards nonbinary people and honestly in my mind kind of defeats the entire point of being nonbinary.
About the “yaori” problem, someone (linked here) in the comments mentioned that bara and yuri are names for flowers (rose and lily respectively) in Japanese. So through looking up Hanakotoba (language of flowers), i’ve found some ideas for what enby4enby love could be.
Obviously this is in no way supposed to disrespect the japanese language, I just wanted to try my hand at this.
Shiragiku (白菊) or the White Chrysanthemum means truth, like how us enbies can be free from the traditional gender roles and experience our own truth.
Himawari (向日葵) or the Sunflower means respect, passionate love, and radiance, like how we may shine in the sunlight when we find our true colors.
Keshi (芥子) or the Poppy has different meanings depending on the color, similar to bara (roses) and yuri (lillies). Red means fun loving, white means to rejoice, and yellow is for success. I like Keshi pretty well, since it’s two syllables like yaoi and yuri, and it has several different subcategories.
Now uh, if you don’t like any of these and would just like to call it Yi or yaori or enby4enby, i have no qualms or stakes in this. Do whatever makes you happy because that’s really all that matters.
Here’s the wikipedia link if any of y’all wanna try your hand at making a word. :D
Hanakotoba - Wikipedia
