Zizi Tennenbaum

I feel too strong to war with mortals; bring me Giants

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]

[zizitennenbaum]

Can I talk about my Work Sister whom I’ve never met?

I do estate tax and there’s an estate lawyer in town that I have a good working acquaintanceship with. We end up working for the same clients and send each other documents, sometimes send each other referrals, etc. He has a paralegal who is an absolute angel and the light of my busy season. I’ve only ever exchanged a handful of emails with her, but I would die for this woman. Her name is Niloofar.

When Niloofar sends me paper copies of documents, I’m talking 100+ pages trust agreements and other fiduciary arrangements, she removes every. single. staple. and replaces it with a paper clip. So I have it sectioned out, but it’s easy to scan. I know there were staples in there, I can see the holes. Every single one thoughtfully - dare I think, lovingly? - removed.

I am thrilled for your victories over your Work Nemeses. May they be cursed to the tenth generation. But amidst all the wrathful ignorance of your enemies, let us add for contrast, the serene and beatific competence of Niloofar.

[baratheonpilled]

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms 1.01

[zizitennenbaum]

living proof that “just a lil guy” has nothing to do with physical size. bless our lil 7 foot tall guy.

[zizitennenbaum]

so my diabetic mother got a 2lb bag of Lucky Charms by mistake, so these just kinda… happened

did not anticipate how beautiful they would be

like what kind of unicorn yoga mat did I make

[cipher-fresh]

I love swimming so much. I should have been born a fish

[zizitennenbaum]

fr fr we're all aquatic mammals before we're born. put a baby in water and they automatically know to hold their breath and paddle. then we're tossed into this hard world where we have to learn to balance and it hurts when we fall.

[alboriaposting]

Can't get more Victorian than this.

The rat's name is Conroy II, btw.

[zizitennenbaum]

Do y'all know about Jack Black, Queen Victoria's Rat Catcher Official?

When he caught particularly pretty or friendly rats, or one with unusual colors, he bred them to each other, establishing the domesticated rat as we know them today. He began selling them mainly "to well-bred young ladies to keep in squirrel cages". Queen Victoria and her ladies kept fancy rats. Beatrix Potter was another customer, she named hers Samuel Whiskers and wrote a book about him.

so think of old Jack Black next time you play with a cuddly pet rat!

[oreramar]

Every time I'm forced by circumstance to hand-sew something, I remember a fairytale I once read. There are lead-up shenanigans as the humble protagonist helps small animals and meets the princess and all that, but in the climax, the princess rigs a contest for her hand by setting her own task: sew her a dress in a single night.

The noble suitors, who have never sewn a thing in their lives, sabotage themselves by their own ambitions: they choose difficult fabrics to work with and cut huge, elaborate patterns and select gems and pearls and beads to sew onto it, and snip such long bits of thread that they lose time detangling their stitches, and ultimately resort to pinning bits together as they run out of time, so that their offerings initially look beautiful and flashy, but when the princess tries them on they stick her with pin ends and fall apart as she moves.

The humble protagonist uses a very simple pattern without embellishments and sews using short lengths of thread (snipped off and threaded for him by little birds of course) which don't tangle and therefore save time. His dress is plain by contrast, but holds together and the princess is able to move freely in it, and so he wins the contest and her hand.

I particularly think about the bit about threading the needle with shorter lengths of thread, needing to tie off more often but avoiding tangles and thereby saving time.

I then ignore that piece of wisdom passed down through who knows how many years and proceed to cut the longest damn length of thread I can manage because I hate tying off beginning or ending knots and I will not subject myself to more of that even if it does mean more tangles along the way.

[zizitennenbaum]

This reminds me of that time on Bake Off when they had to make brownies and everyone went buckwild with complicated recipes that all failed. At the end the Snarky Urbane Hottie of the season said “if just one of us had made regular damn brownies they would have won”

[xanaxfarts]

Shearing half a sheep seemed a simple way to show a season's growth of wool, but photographer Cary Wolinsky was wrong. The half-shorn sheep tended to lose their balance and topple to wool-ward. It took many tries before merino sheep number 30 “became our hero," Wolinsky said.

[shewolfofvilnius]

*photographer wants to take a cool photo, inadvertently discovers sheep physics* is an all-timer of a story

[zizitennenbaum]

[dootznbootz]

I think people sleep on this moment in the Odyssey...

If I'm wrong, not getting full context, or see something that isn't there, feel free to give evidence to explain why.

Here he crept under a pair of bushes, one an olive, the other a wild olive, which grew from the same stem with their branches so closely intertwined that when the winds blew moist not a breath could get inside, nor could the rain soak right through to the earth.

(Book 5, Rieu)

I think this is about Penelope and him.

Obviously, their marriage bed is made from an Olive tree. If it's just about Athena then why are there two mentioned? Why did Homer mention two when he could've just said he took refuge under one? Or a completely different type of tree? Why mention them being intertwined?

One an olive: Penelope, who has been with society and "safe" in Ithaca ("Safe" because of the suitors)

One wild: Odysseus, who has dealt with literal monsters and immortals and has just escaped from Calypso. Literally naked and filthy, a "wild man".

"which grew from the same stem with their branches": Them both being together at first, before being separated.

"so closely intertwined that when the winds blew moist not a breath could get inside, nor could the rain soak right through to the earth.": Despite being separated, they are still "intertwined". Whether you want to think of it as them being likeminded or simply connected, even though they are apart, nothing could get in between them. 🥺

I don't know what else Homer could be referring to other than them.

[zizitennenbaum]

Not the first time Greek myth has made me ship two trees

[20thcenturystarlet]

Girl photographed by Hugh Magnum c. 1909

Magnum’s photographs are notable for their informality, which was unusual for the period. I just adore the series of this girl, she’s such a beauty.

[zizitennenbaum]

I want to hang with her, she looks like fun

[faulsimon]

wish i could make this shit up

[cipher-fresh]

[ID: A reddit post under r/mash by u/Airbag-Dirtman reading "Does Hawkeye's anti-war stancer annoy anyone else?" /End ID]

[zizitennenbaum]

Probably the same kind of person who doesn't understand that Star Trek is about diversity and equality. Like Worf's bff was literally a trans woman and yet people say "sci fi is too woke today".

[zizitennenbaum]

[lena-hills]

Me, writing a Star Wars Regency AU: Ok, I need to check the legal requirements for marriage in Belgium during the Napoleonic wars to make sure I am entirely historically accurate even though Hera still has lekku.

Formally published Regency novel produced as an audiobook by a major company: Uses Count instead of Earl for the English title, thinks a Baronet is a type of Baron instead of a hereditary knighthood, has no understanding of how special licenses were obtained, mixes up 1870s and 1810s fashion.

Maybe I set unrealistic expectations of my writings...

[zizitennenbaum]

There was a post a while back about taking great pains to not make place names too similar

Meanwhile in England there are 4 rivers called Avon.

[musicalislife]

Happy birthday to AO3

[zizitennenbaum]

If you want to lose feelings for someone

I mean you really want to dislike this person

Every time you make a typo, imagine them reading it out loud phonetically and laughing.

[iridessence]

Delores Browne, Judy Cuyjet, and Frances Jimenez, black ballerinas and students at the Judimar School.

[cipher-fresh]

"gay immigrant to be next doctor who" prophecy fulfilled

[zizitennenbaum]

the scarves are gonna be so lit