Unbetitelt @zorg-rush - Tumblr Blog

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

paverics

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

eroscestlavie

Why am I finding out just today that Salvador Dali designed the Chupa Chups logo

eroscestlavie

????

eroscestlavie

Hey. What

trash-slvt

"relax. sucking does not kill" would make for a fun shirt

villainessbian

I'm sorry chupa chups I didn't know your game

taraxippos

I think this is the single funniest artfight rule. Like....I guess?

taraxippos

zorg-rush

Rules tend to be written on paper so of course they stop Rock!

tranthony

grout white shark

joy-and-whimsy-official

Joy and whimsy detected! 🦈 <- this grout white shark is joyful and whimsical!

cyanocittae

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

cyanocittae

hi sorry uh. incredible miscommunication on my part lmfao.

my bad yall

zorg-rush

Sometimes german brand names can be incredible

leapfog1

No Voice to Cry Suffering

sandmandaddy69

sahonithereadwolf

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

marlynnofmany

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

"My son! You look upon me as if i had done you all the words wrongs! You must understand that I don't deny you these luxuries out of malice but out of love! I know you as my child yet my blood flows not through your veins! What is common luxury to me is but a burden upon you! Your kind is not meant to partake in such opulence! It would destroy you! It is simply as the divines have decreed, for you are not meant to inherit such fineries! You whine and look upon me with eyes full of misery, as if I've betrayed you! But understand that your gaze does not soften a hardened heart, It forces me to steel one open and loving- To pretend it does not beat and bleed for you! You must understand my son! Nothing would please me more than to share with you all I could! But it is simply not to be! It would destroy you! And though it pains me to no end I will play the villain in your eyes rather than seeing you taken from my arms! Must I send you away to deprive you of this temptation?! Must I hide away, barricaded under lock and key to avoid your pleading eyes?! My son PLEASE tell me you understand this is for your own good!" -My mental monologue as I'm eating heavily spiced meat with an alcohol based sauce in front of my dog and his puppy eyes bore themselves straight into my heart and soul- (he got a bunch of dog treats after)

#dogs #dogblr