Don't tell me what to do! @zorrokiller - Tumblr Blog

Bucky: 😔😔😔 guess I'll go rot in a hotel by myself and sleep on the floor like a dog because I have horrible awful nightmares all the time from my years and years of being a programmed drone for vicious killing and it plagues me every night and I'm so soft and scared and just a little birthday boy I'm just a little lonely boy getting a lonely little hotel and you know it'll be the shittiest motel I can find out of some subconscious punishment for myself and I'll just eat a bag of beef jerky and consider that enrichment 😔😔😔

Sam: man. Cmon.

Bucky: it's okay though I'll manage I'll manage I'll only have a couple panic attacks being so alone

Sam: dude

luisonte

¿Pero que mierdas te han dicho?

kedreeva

jenniferrpovey

I was in one of those aviaries and a bird practically landed on me. Like “What do we do if the birds touch US?”

roosterjazz

A cross between ‘The Witcher’ and ‘It’s Always Sunny’ that nobody asked for, but I was born to create! I hope I’m not the only one who thinks it is funny....

dindjarindiaries

MY DAD STRIKES AGAIN

toussaintred

baptism of fire has so many good moments

le-loup-et-lion

The Gorbeau house landlady: So, uh. About this child you've obviously recently acquired.

Valjean: Yes?

The Gorbeau house landlady: Did you, like ... adopt her, or...?

Valjean: Great question! Little suspicious. What's the answer that keeps you from calling the cops?

writing-prompt-s

Every day you’ve dealt with your terrible stepmother and your equally terrible and ugly stepsisters as you’ve done your chores. One day, an invitation to the prince’s ball comes to your late father’s estate. After your late mother’s dress is destroyed, you find an elderly woman in front of you. She waves her wand through the air and suddenly a blue ball gown with glass slippers appear on the bench next to you. She claims you can go to the ball for only a small price. You have to kill the prince.

elidyce

“No.” I fold my arms, meeting her eyes.

She blinks at me. “No?”

“Not for a silk dress and a night at a party. Only a fool would commit regicide for so low a price.”

The old woman hesitates, and her eyes narrow. “Well. True. Though it would only be regicide if I asked you to kill the king.”

“His heir is close enough, to my mind.”

The old woman rubs her chin thoughtfully. “Aye, that’s fair. But… if the price were better?”

I shrug. “I’ve contemplated murdering my stepmother and her daughters often enough. The only reason I don’t do it is that I’d surely be the first and only suspect. If a murder would truly free me from this misery… I’d certainly be willing to consider it. After careful planning, of course.”

“Indeed. Indeed.” She smiles grimly. “All right, my dear. Shall we plan a murder, then?”

lesbiansabine

halandilfang

jupiter235

A head’s-up to all my fellow writers (fan fiction and original fiction)

So last night I get an email about a new comment on one of my fan fics. I read the email, and the comment seemed shady as hell to me. But given it was late at night, I didn’t look into it until this morning.

The comment, screen-capped from my email:

I was able to confirm that this is in fact spam–and a possible phishing scam–on this Reddit thread. The OP on that thread got similar messages on their fanfiction.net account, with the links included being identical to the ones in my comment.

So just to make y’all aware, if you got this on one of your fics, make sure you’re reporting it as spam to whatever hosting platform you’re on.

lonelyroommp3

the other day i was perusing the dessert options in the dining hall and this group of absolute stereotypical frat boy types were also milling around the desserts and one of them pointed to the strawberry pastries and said to the others “what’s the vibe with these, boys?” and i haven’t been able to get that sentence out of my head since