[addictivities]

if she’s your girl why has she been my mutual for 275 days

[peoplesoup]

hozier has done so much for hannibal fans

[clickbeetle]

as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.

every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.

until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.

[clickbeetle]

imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet

[clickbeetle]

WHAT

[strokingout]

[strokingout]

what word? Yugoslavia??

[lynati]

*tugs OPs sleeve and whispers* Yugoslavia stopped existing as a country in 1992. I just fact-checked it on Wikipedia for the specific year because I knew it had happened but couldn't remember when. By the time The Animaniac's released Yakko Warner's "The Countries of the World" musical number, it was already in the process of ditching its trench coat and becoming several separate countries again. It's probably not even the answer to a scantron question on a test in the US nowadays.

[strokingout]

do not amerisplain yugoslavia to me i'll blow us both the fuck up

[bunniope]

are you a bad enough dude to kick the shit out of me while im sweating and moaning the whole time

[rylandsgrace]

The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers

[paranormalmoonlight5]

@legendzjagz @not-close-to-straight love me The Mummy!!

[sweatermuppet]

date night! she chases me with a revving chainsaw

[birlinterrupted]

why do app game advertisements think i want to save a king from a fate that i'm sure he probably deserves

[-pandemonium-]

I went on a date with a man I didn’t think I liked all that much (but he was really eager) and it was actually kind of nice?? But in a platonic way?? I’m so sad we didn’t have chemistry though because he was exactly the same kind of weird and very lovely and polite and-

[versegm]

Literally cannot emphasize enough that my #1 writing advice is to stop being afraid. Stop being afraid of sounding too cringe, or too stupid, or too horrifying, or too horny, or too weird, or too much, or too little, or too you. You need to put your entire pussy into your art. Sure, it won't be to everyone's tastes, but if you keep yourself to the blandest tamest safest roads possible you will be of no one's tastes, not even yours.

[whynotfabulous]

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

[whynotfabulous]

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

[gnomer-denois]

Because it's also evil

[whynotfabulous]

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

[whynotfabulous]

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

[trashboi413]

You meet god

[whynotfabulous]

Thank goodness!

What's the correct way to eat a banana?

[treslecheslife]

Whole, in one gulp.

[whynotfabulous]

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

[captain-oh-no-not-again]

Father of the Muffin Boy

[whynotfabulous]

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

[mayflydecember]

Car's haunted

[whynotfabulous]

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

[babybluebanshee]

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

[whynotfabulous]

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

[thegoodsandy]

into the sky, where it turns into stars

[whynotfabulous]

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

[daeynore]

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

[whynotfabulous]

....Ah

[linecoveredinjellyfish]

my favorite romance trope is like. you dont want to hurt me but i am asking you to hurt me. i need you to stab me. i need you to carve this out of me. i need you to cut something off of me. this will hurt both of us in incredible ways. yours are the only hands i trust enough to weild this knife. you do not want to hurt me. i am asking you to hurt me.

[despazito]

I could function in a society that had an actual nightlife that isn't synonymous with just clubbing. Where are the night markets what if I want to go to the library at midnight

[santapau]

One from the archives.

[butchspace]

We need like “unclench your jaw” posts but for eye strain. Like

Go look at something 20ft away for 20 seconds.

[dontbeanassbutt]

take off your glasses if you wear them for 20 seconds

[bluelakeandsky]

Recommended by my optometrist

Look at something 20 feet away, then 10, then 5, then one, then if you can your nose.

Repeat twice, then again without glasses.

Face forward look out of the corner of your eye. As far as you can look. Slowly move to the other corner. Repeat twice.

Look down as far as you can. Slowly look up. Repeat twice.

Roll eyes twice.

Close eyes for five minutes.

I do this every day usually at my halfway point. My migraines went away. My vision go better. Honestly stretching my eyes as she put it feels great too.

[technofeudalism]

nihilism is not punk. doomerism is not punk. quitting is not punk.

the stark reality is that if they announced there was 24 hours before a giant comet hit the earth, i would find reason to fight and advocate and celebrate in the ensuing chaos up to the final seconds.

punk is walking into every situation and punching it in the mouth regardless of how big it is or the dominion it holds over your existence.

punk is hope and growth and love and fury and anger and passion and spit in the face of hostile forces.

punk is community and mutual aid and soup kitchens and block parties and festivals and little libraries and clothes drop boxes.

punk is dancing on the deck of a sinking ship because hey you motherfuckers i didn’t hear the music stop.

punk is having the hope for something better on behalf of those who can’t see it right now.

punk is not dead. punk is not dead. punk is not dead. punk is not dead. punk is not dead. punk is not dead.

[deancodedinthewater]

Hey folks, if you want to fight back against the twitterfication of tumblr USE IT LIKE IT'S TUMBLR!!!!!! REBLOG THINGS!!!!!! USE THE TAGS TO SCREAM AT YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!

[deancodedinthewater]

Woke up to this having more reblogs than likes! Keep it going! Do it on every post! REBLOG THINGS ON THE REBLOGGING THINGS SITE!