It occurs to me that maybe some of the immediate knee jerk aversion that some folks have to the idea that Ilya, in particular, is kinky and a dom and a top is because Heated Rivalry still indulges in some of the romance novel tropes that don't necessarily work outside of the genre.
It's funny to me because the show kind of has it both ways when it comes to Ilya. Ilya is the "consent king". He's very big on checking in with Shane and making sure he's an active participant when they have their big, dramatic first time penetration sex.
At the same time though, Ilya ALSO pulls some pretty questionable shit that, if he were a real person in the real world, he could get in serious trouble.
I've mentioned before that I'm not a big fan of those "Shane's texts to Ilya are taken out of context and people think Shane is a misogynist" fic. I've seen this trope work to my satisfaction only once. When much later, the full conversation is shown and we see right before and right after Shane's snarky "asshole as a term of endearment" retort, Ilya's busy engaging in HIS "sexual harassment as a form of courtship" ritual.
Because if you look at the text exchanges that we see, particularly in that 2 year chase, it kinda looks like Ilya's engaging in outright sexual harassment, up to and including an unsolicited dick pic. WE know that Shane's into it. ILYA knows that Shane's into it. But on its face, the texts don't necessarily show that.
The shower jerk off is another thing that in the real world would not be okay. Even IF Shane looked. Even IF Shane got hard.
For a man who we call a "consent king", we see a lot of Ilya explicitly ignoring a "no". Because he knows, and we know, that Shane's "no" often means "yes."
That's a romance novel trope. In a romance novel, particularly erotica with a D/s element, the more aggressive, domineering protagonist always seems to have a sixth sense for when the shy, submissive protagonist is actually into him. He (it's almost always a he, to my sorrow) always somehow knows that this pretty young girl or guy wants is to have someone else take charge, give orders or manhandle them, and all in a way where they don't have to specifically articulate their own secret/shameful desires. Because of this understanding, it's consensual. Even if, in the real world, it might constitute harassment or assault.
That doesn't mean we can't criticize the trope, of course. But it's a fairly common staple of the genre. I think most of the people who have read the books are at least somewhat accustomed to it, and the execution here is really a lot more mild than many examples.
But Heated Rivalry the SHOW has exploded in popularity and a lot of the viewers of the show aren't necessarily experienced with the genre. And the medium is a factor too. In a book, we get to know exactly what one or both characters is thinking during a scene. We know what's going on beneath either character's surface actions and that's not always clear in the show.
That's why we have a handful of folks who argue that the phone call with Hayden is sexual assault. It's not. Shane's protesting, but he's immediately getting into a position of easier access. He's giving every signal except verbal that he's consenting to Ilya's antics. Later, he makes it very clear that he enjoyed it very much.
But this kind of thing does make some people uncomfortable, and I think maybe that might be why some fans are so quick to try to minimize Ilya's dom-top tendencies. He's not the real kinky one. He's really a sub-top or a service-top or a switch at heart. Shane is the one who calls the shots everywhere else. And so on and so forth.
It's a shame though, because it's not necessary. Ilya's not a real person and this isn't a real situation. Ilya is a fictional character in a genre where everyone is profoundly sexually compatible and has an innate understanding of what they really want. Shane is a fictional character in the same genre and universe. They both understand what's going on. It's very consensual. And it's okay.
