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-- call me Spades, Lance, or Jay -- transmasculine, genderfluid, xenine -- any pronouns except she/her -- undiagnosed neurodivergency, presuming audhd (autism + adhd) -- userboxes

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Janaina Medeiros
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@2ofspadesssss
long-awaited intro post
-- call me Spades, Lance, or Jay -- transmasculine, genderfluid, xenine -- any pronouns except she/her -- undiagnosed neurodivergency, presuming audhd (autism + adhd) -- userboxes
happy pride month for it/its users, polyamorous people, xenogenders, non-transitioning trans people, and other "weird" identities. btw
I'm actually so interested in alterhumanity, polymindence and lgbtq+ it's crazy
Non human romance <3
Booping your snoots together
Nuzzling each other
Making noises at eachother
Kneading at them
Sleeping close to eachother for warmth
Eating food together and sharing
Non human romance is peak <33
you can kinda tell when a writer has spent a lot of time around kids bc they avoid most of the pitfalls that come with writing children. namely, not giving them a too cutesy or twee voice but making them sound more like extremely weird little adults. kids playing pretend will almost never cutely slot into some romantic scenario for the adults' benefit bc the adults are usually too busy cleaning up or wondering what the fuck is wrong with their child. kids also have surprisingly stringent hangups ranging from very petty grievances to downright chauvinist gender roles, more often than not the result of a tragic education but sometimes far surpassing what they were taught in intensity. what im saying is there's nothing inherently wrong with treating fictional kids as stock characters but it's always quite nice to see when they aren't
IT'S NOT MY FAULT IM PEVERTED ABOUT CAMERAS!!!! THE REAR ELEMENT IS SO FAR IN THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO CLEAN IT
THIS LENS IS NEARLY THREE TIMES MY AGE. CANON IS MAKING ME FINGER AN OLDER WOMAN AND THAGS BEAUTIFUL
@siveine
dehumanization as horror is great and all but what about humanization as horror. Being forced into a role that was not made for you. Being forced to fulfill expectations that you can never achieve. Being made to exist in a society that so cruelly expects you to act in a way that is against your nature.
hey guys check it out I can do a frontside 180 with my stomach haha
hopital
just 4 u. I braved Phone Art while on Turbo Morphine (I think they called it dilaudid. it's Turbo Morphine 2 me)
oh ur super flexible? yeah well lmao can u do THIS??? (throws up and dies)
u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days
I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.
I found out my body cannot handle opioids.
my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.
do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA
they don't
GUESS WHOSE HOSPITAL IS GETTING HIT BY A TORNADO
made the saving throw š not today, Satan
Y'ALL WILL NOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT BIOLOGICAL PROCESS STARTED LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY
THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO
I'd love to say this has been an educational experience, but unfortunately I run on Spite and simply vow to torture my blorbos even more now
which is saying something while being in the Vivisect the Half Dead Child fandom
I LIVED BITCH!!
Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!
I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this
I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately
starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet
this guy is getting the true moral of this story
I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation
you and me both! isn't nature beautiful
you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are
god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse
I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too
did I stutter
honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again
fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi
you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea
I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so
THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second
the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ
I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"
I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine
don't carbon date me like this
Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long
the abortion was a success! (/silly)
they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. itās supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating
what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc itās not like other girls, making it look like itās trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadnāt happened yet!
the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? thatās rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?
to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.
all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like āIām gonna be real with you Iām not entirely sure I know what Iām looking at but itās giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgeryā
Iām upset I donāt get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think Iāll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call
EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn
haha that was a fun near-death experience glad it's over though GUESS WHO JUST GOT FIRED
ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO
my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky
I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often
- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends
- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch
- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace āļø
- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself
- Murderbot TV series good :)
- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen
- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation
- who the fuck is Job
please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole
can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes
I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus
no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay
can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them
no this is Patrick
I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already had two wishes fulfilled"
take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen
you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE
If youāre a Non-Muslim and you see a Muslim praying in public, could you please not pass in front of them?
Go behind them, but not in front. š
Oh, signal boost! I didnāt know this.
Okay, but also: if you see a Muslim praying in public and they have something in front of them, like a purse or a bag or something like that, you can pass in front of them, but pass in front of that object.
itās called a sutrah, and itās meant to act as a physical barrier between the person praying and someone who might happen to pass in front.
Also, if you did this and didnāt know, please donāt beat yourself up over it. Now you know! Muslims arenāt supposed to pass in front of Muslims praying, either, because prayer is communication with God and you donāt want to break that connection.
Spread culture, respect customs, be good people. Simple as that.
Didnāt know this.
Reblogging again
THE AMOUNTS OF REBLOGS THIS HAS JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY
S I G N A L B O O S T
Reblog forever !Ā
Similarly, if a Jew is saying the Shemonah Esrei prayer (whispered, moving only the mouth, standing facing east with legs together) donāt go in front unless thereās a barrier.
Human kids should be allowed to act like animals even if it turns out they aren't actually therianthropes. Let the kids connect with their bodies and move in ways that aren't so restricted.
yk. it's Really jarring to wake up in my boyfriend's arms and get on this site to see pages and pages of people loudly hating trans men? because they think trans men don't deserve to talk about transphobia?
I'm transfeminine. my boyfriend is a trans man. we can just..... both talk about the transphobia we face? we can do both. there's a Lot of overlap!
- we've both been harassed for using public bathrooms
- we've both been excluded from friend groups for looking too masculine to be good nonthreatening queers
- we've both been fetishized for body parts we're dysphoric about
- we both worry about healthcare and explaining our genders to doctors who don't get it
like it's different in some ways! he's a man who has to see a gynecologist. I'm an enby who gets misgendered daily. but we literally have so much to commiserate about, why would we be fighting over who gets to vent more? we can just both vent about the transphobia together. because we agree it's bad
People don't actually grow out of their emo phases. People are forced out of their emo phases by employers who get a raging boner over controlling how their employees dress, cut their hair, whether they mod their bodies and so on
its fun to remember we can use the big text if we want. bonjour motherfuckers. i'm posting loud as hell now.