⟢ ┆ lee minho x reader. fluff. slight angst. exes to lovers.
⟢ author’s note: hello, everyone! i’m back with this small story. i don’t really have much to say other than i’m a sucker for cat dad lino. also the cat whose pictures i used is @/nala_cat on instagram. i hope you guys enjoy! if you do, please don’t forget to let me know<3
Prompt: The one where there's no world that exists where Lee Know would ever let something like that just happen.
Request: hello! I was wondering if I could request a oneshot for ninth member reader and lee know? like maybe they aren’t super close but lee know has always has a soft spot for her and like something happens in an interview or fancall that makes him step in and be all protective?? hopefully that inspires you. 🖤
Pairing: Lee Know x F!9th Member!Reader
Word Count: 1,445
Tag List: @gadriezmannsgirl - @eeorrrr - @sweetheartforus - @ysljoon - @to-be-written - @skzbbyyy - @travelrsblog - @jisungs-iced-americano - @justiceforvillains - @yukichan67 - @clairementsolo - @lexlikesbts - @livinglife1516 - @vermillionram - @niku0704 - @91dreams91things - @foppishitudinality - @straystar-8
Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!
9th Member AU Series Masterlist
No World.
“Now, Y/N, this next question is for you.”
Shifting at the sound of your name, you turn towards the interviewer, meeting his waiting gaze and smile with a soft one of your own. You and the rest of the boys have been doing this interview for well over a half-hour by now; you were starting to feel stiff in the stool you’d been sitting in and ready to stretch your legs.
Of course, that didn’t matter. You were sure the rest of the boys were feeling much the same as well. Hyunjin, who was sitting next to you, kept twisting in the spot. Changbin who was on your other side had a slight pinch in his brows that you knew meant something was tensing uncomfortably.
It was an interview, though. Interviews were a big deal. Stray Kids, while growing in popularity, still needed all the publicity they could get. Sure, the group was doing well, but that didn’t mean the work for it stopped.
So, you ignore the ache in your lower back and the desperate need to stretch your legs, even for just a second. Instead, you opt for focusing on the interviewer. This was the first time he’s turned his attention directly to you, despite how long you’ve all been sitting there for. Most of his questions were focused on the other boys, and when you’d tried to put some input in a few times, you’d been promptly brushed off.
You were excited to get the chance to talk, whatever the question may be.
The interviewer meets your eyes, and briefly, like a passing thought, you realize his smile is a little tighter than it had been before. There’s something passing in his eyes that seems off, something you hadn’t noticed when he’d been talking to the other boys. When he’d just asked Chan a question about his trainee days, his smile had been genuine and kind.
For some reason, it doesn’t feel right when he looks at you.
Swallowing thickly, you ignore the warning signs in your head. Instead, you brighten your own smile, raising your microphone; “I’m ready.” You nod at him, leaning forward.
“So. It must be strange—at least, I think it would make me feel that way.” He starts, crossing his legs as he nods along to his own words. “Being the only girl in a group of eight other boys.”
It’s not really a question, more like an observation. Still, he pauses, as if waiting for you to fill in the space.
“Um,” you laugh lightly, not really sure how to start. It’s not like the observation has never been made to you and really, he wasn’t wrong. It had been strange, at first. Now though, it barely crossed your mind. “I guess it was at first. A little intimidating too,” you chuckle, catching Chan’s gaze as he smiles over at you. “I wasn’t sure how to present myself or interact with them. Now, though, it’s not really a thought. Any awkwardness doesn’t really exist. I feel completely and wholly comfortable with all eight of them.”
You’re met with a series of smiles as the boys coo at your response. You roll your eyes but the smile on your face is fond as you lean into Felix's hand which sweetly squeezes your shoulder.
The interviewer hums, as if thinking, before he turns back to you. “Still, though, I’d think for fans—Stays, sorry—the difference must be quite noticeable.”
You hesitate, a small twitch of your brows is the only noticeable sign that the comment has thrown you. He’d completely disregarded what you’d said. But not only that, the comment, though you can’t rightly explain why, is off in both tone and phrasing.
Licking your lips, you tilt your head; “I’m sorry. I’m not sure I understand your meaning?”
Letting out a sharp laugh, one that bites a little too much, the interviewer shakes his head. “It’s okay,” he assures, waving at you with his hand. “What I meant is that compared to the rest of the boys, your body stands out. If you were in a girl group, you’d probably blend in better. Next to the boys, though, I’d say your… features are quite obvious.”
Silence follows. You blink, lips parting, thinking surely you must’ve misheard what he’s just said.
At the looks the boys send you, you know you haven’t.
“Uh,” you start, feeling a lump form at the back of your throat. “I’m not really sure why that matters.”
“Surely you can understand where I’m coming from?” The interviewer chuckles, but you just blink back at him, bewildered. He sighs, almost as if you’re the one being difficult in this situation, and leans forward. “Take right now, for example. You’re all dressed very nicely, but your outfit in particular stands out. I mean, your more… womanly features.”
To add salt to a wound, he raises a hand and gestures, albeit loosely, to your chest.
Horror floods you. You’d feared that was what he was meaning but to hear it so blatantly said to you, see the way he looks at you, is another thing. The lump grows, your cheeks warming with embarrassment as your back straightens. Your arm wraps around yourself on instinct, curling around your chest as the instinct to hide becomes the forefront of your mind.
You’re humiliated. Thoroughly. Your gaze lowers, feeling eyes on you as the boys glance at you, similar expressions of horror on their faces mixed with worry.
“I’m sorry,” Chan’s voice cuts in, sharp and low. “What exactly is your question?”
“Nothing crazy,” the interviewer says, as if to placate Chan. He doesn’t miss a beat turning back to you, however. “I just wondered if you, Y/N, felt your body is one of the reasons Stays pay any attention to you at all?”
You can hear your heart thudding in your ears, loud and pressing. You’ve never felt so… objectified before in your life. And in front of all the boys and cameras and staff—you were mortified.
The pressing thought to run crosses your mind, but before you can do anything, Minho’s voice cuts in.
“How incredibly inappropriate,” he says, voice low and sharp. It’s biting, in a way you’ve never heard Minho’s voice sound. That, and the fact that this is the first time he’s really spoken up in the interview so far. He always tended to be a bit more quiet in interviews and today had been no exception.
Except for now, it seemed.
“Excuse me?” The interviewer asks, laughing as if this was still some big joke you weren’t in on.
“Y/N’s body isn’t something we discuss in interviews,” he hisses. “Certainly not in that way. Why would you think that’s okay to ask her that?”
The interviewer pauses for one more second, glancing back towards the staff. “I meant no offence. It’s just a simple question. I don’t see why Y/N can’t answer—”
Minho stands, his chair scraping across the floor with a loud screech. You jump at the action, turning to face him with wide eyes.
“This interview is over.”
He says the words with finality, no room for argument. Then, before anyone can even say anything, he’s turning to you, his sharp eyes meeting yours; only the second they do, his gaze softens.
“Here, Y/N, come on.”
Making his way over to you, Minho gently takes your hand on his own, pulling you off your stool and with him. You don’t fight him, because of course you don’t, but you do throw a glance over your shoulder, half expecting someone to yell at the two of you. Only, you meet Chan’s gaze and he’s just nodding at you, standing himself as he turns to the interviewer.
You don’t hear what’s said. Minho continues to lead you out of the room, not stopping until he’s pulled you into an empty room. He shuts the door behind you both with a soft click and then, finally, lets go of your hand.
“Are you okay?”
It takes you a moment to realize he’s even spoken.
“Yeah,” you nod, voice quiet. “Thank you.”
Shaking his head, Minho sighs; “you don’t have to thank me. That never should’ve happened.”
Hugging yourself, you swallow thickly.
“I’m sure Chan’s already dealing with it, but we’ll make sure nothing like that ever happens again,” Minho promises, voice soft. His tone had changed the second he’d turned to you, that sharp bite shifting into something warm and concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
You nod, again, and meet his eyes. “I am,” you assure, voice stronger and more confident. “Thanks to you.”
Minho blinks, as if not expecting the compliment. You just smile, small but genuine and Minho’s lips curl into their own soft smile.
“Of course,” he assures. “There’s no world where I wouldn’t have stepped in for you.”
Fan Club sign up is right around the corner and every year it is confusing. As a stay who has bought the membership the past four years, let me help out those who are confused a bit
What is the Fan Club?
✶⋆.° The fan club is an exclusive fan box for Stray Kids! This is something you can only buy once a year! Usually at end of January/beginning of February. This year it’ll be from 1/26 13:00 -2/4 23:59(KST). And last from Jan 26, 2026-Jan 25, 2027 (this is subject to change) It gives you access to exclusive FANS post and media, pre-sale and more!
What comes in it? How much is it?
✶⋆.° There are four products for purchase. One it the 6th gen membership it’s self (around $34 USD + shipping). Then for the kit, you have three options (you can only pick one).
✶⋆.° [ALBUM PLUSH KEYRING] REPLAY (about $13 USD)
── .✦ Plush keyring
── .✦ NFC Charm (contains the album, download the JYPXNemoz app)
── .✦ Photocard (8ea, 1set)
── .✦ Membership card (will be printed with the name entered at time of membership registration)
✶⋆.° [KIT VER.] (about $17 USD)
── .✦ Outbox
── .✦ Photobook
── .✦ Deco Sticker (2ea, 1set)
── .✦ SKZOO Acrylic Phone Strap
── .✦ 4 cut Photo (4ea, 1 set)
── .✦ Photocard (12ea, 1set)
── .✦ ID Photo (8ea, 1set)
── .✦ Squishy key ring
── .✦ Membership card (Printed with name entered at time of membership registration)
✶⋆.° [KIT + ALBUM PLUSH KEYRING] (about $30 USD)
── .✦ Outbox
── .✦ Photobook
── .✦ Deco Sticker (2ea, 1set)
── .✦ SKZOO Acrylic Phone Strap
── .✦ 4 cut Photo (4ea, 1 set)
── .✦ Photocard (12ea, 1set)
── .✦ ID Photo (8ea, 1set)
── .✦ Squishy key ring
── .✦ Plush keyring
── .✦ NFC Charm (contains the album, download the JYPXNemoz app)
── .✦ Photocard (8ea, 1set)
── .✦ Membership card (Printed with name entered at time of membership registration)
How do I get one?
✶⋆.° In the past, you could only buy the membership via YES24, but it is on FANS Shop this year. (Unknown if it will only be on FANS or YES24 as well). You will go to the shop section on FANS (or click the pop ups on the skz community to go directly there) and added the membership to your cart and buy! Which ever kit you want is recommended to purchase separately for a smoother delivery.
Do I have to buy the membership to get a kit?
✶⋆.° Yes. The kits are only available for purchase for registered members and it is one per person.
What are the benefits of buying the membership?
✶⋆.° Digital membership card
✶⋆.° Exclusive posts and media on FANS
✶⋆.° Access to STAY 6th Gen Exclusive FANS Live (ai-generarted subtitles are provided in 2026 for both live broadcasts and on-demand replays)
✶⋆.° Priority ticket pre-sale opportunities for SKZ show (domestic and International)
── .✦ May not be available for certain show/regions depending on the ticketing platform and/or organizer’s circumstances. Whether pre-sale is offered will be announced in the notice for each show
── .✦ Pre-sale benefits provide an opportunity to participate in the pre-sale and do not guarantee seat availability or successful ticket presale.
── .✦ If you complete the require [FanCLUB Verification] on the ticketing site, you may access the pre-sale and proceed with the pre-sale process
✶⋆.° Priority entry opportunities for music shows and offline events
── .✦ Depends on the artist’s activities and the organizers guidelines, and may not apply to all events
── .✦ Does not guarantee selection, please check the individual notices when applying
✶⋆.° Opportunity to purchase the STAY 6th Generation membership kit (one purchase per account)
✶⋆.° Priority access to pre-order official SKZ merch and to participate in online/offline events
── .✦ Priority access to pre-order and early pick up of official merch (shows, pop-ups, etc.) as well as exclusive membership-only merch purchase opportunities
── .✦ Priority reservations or early entry tickets for popup stores and offline store events
── .✦ The benefits provide an opportunity for purchase/entry and do not guarantee a purchase or reservation
── .✦ Benefits may not apply to all events
✶⋆.° Additional membership benefit will continue to be updated
What else do I need to know before buying?
✶⋆.° A few things! (All this information can be found on the FANS listing for the membership
✶⋆.° membership card will include the name, date of birth, and membership number you entered upon registration, make sure to register under your real name exactly as shown on your ID.
✶⋆.° For international applicants, the name must be entered exactly as it appears in the passport. If the name on the passport does not match the name provided during registration, you may be subject to disadvantages or penalties.
✶⋆.° Membership benefits are only available to the purchaser and cannot be transferred or sold to others. If found in violation, membership privileges may be revoked.
✶⋆.° To provide membership benefits, the membership information you enter may be shared with third parties in accordance with Article 3 of the FANS Privacy Policy.
✶⋆.° If you delete your FANS account after purchasing the STAY 6th Generation membership, your membership benefits will end immediately, and refunds and transfers to another account will not be possible. If you would like a refund in accordance with the FANS Terms of Service, please complete the refund procedure first via "1:1 Inquiry" at the bottom of SHOP or in MY FANS before deleting your account. After account deletion, refunds and account transfers may be impossible due to the inability to verify your identity.
✶⋆.° For inquiries about membership purchase and benefit usage, please submit them via "1:1 Inquiry" at the bottom of SHOP or in MY FANS.
✶⋆.° When attending offline events, you must bring your membership card (mobile or physical) and ID to verify your STAY 6th membership.
Poster made by yours truly, reblogs are appreciated. I own none of the photos/Logos used.
@stayblrofficial
Many of you already know about and have joined the Stayblr Community, but if you haven't, you need to check it out! It's a great place to get updates on all SKZ-related things. They also hold events to showcase the amazing Stay creators of all medias!
The Stayblr Discord is just as fun! There's so much to do and so many new people to meet. Even if you're like me and just lurk, you're very welcome! ☺️
Visit @stayblrofficial @stayblrr to find out all you need to know!
I know most—if not all—of you are already part of Stayblr, but I wanted to tag 50 of my moots anyway 🖤❤️
➻ Pairings: Reader x Chan, Reader x Han, Chan x Reader x Han
➻ Genre: Romance, humor, slice of life
➻ Additional: Polyamory
➻ Word Count: 2.2k
➻ Warnings: Based of a true life experience 😭
Well,
At least they finally added you to the reoccurring team meeting invite. Now you could be more prepared for them. Like today, you had plenty of time to make yourself presentable before the meeting started because nothing was more anxiety-inducing than getting a sudden Teams call to find out it was time for your bi weekly huddle. One too many times now you've nearly had a heart attack.
"So as we're going into the next year, what we can expect-"
Ping
Your eyes darted to your open teams chat between you and your boyfriends Jisung and Chan. It was with Jisung's insistence and Chan's connections that you were able to land your current job and you couldn't be more thankful for that. Besides better pay, it opened up so many new doors for you, with potential to climb and grow within a company that actually cared about you. You were so grateful to them.
Han Jisung
Why do they always end up saying the same thing? The lead already said this. 🙄
You snorted, your smile covered by your hand and you were thankful that your mic hadn't picked up the sound.
Bang Chan
Be nice. He's old
You leaned out of the frame of the camera, muting your mic quickly as you giggled. They were going to get you in trouble! Schooling your face, you took a few breaths before reappearing in the camera and un-mutting your mic. The meeting continued on, the presenter unaware of your disturbance. He droned on for a few more minutes, but your eyes were on the clock, counting down how much time you had left before the meeting was supposed to end.
It never ended on time.
From behind you, you could hear your mother out in the kitchen, making a fuss. You really hoped no one heard it, and you hoped whatever she was doing - sounded like she was killing a bug - she would stop soon. Except, she didn't stop and eventually you heard her hurried footsteps as she rushed to your door and opened it.
"Hurry, I need you! There's a fire!" The urgency in her voice and her words had your heart leaping into your throat, eyes wide with fear. Jumping from your chair, you turned back to the computer, but the meeting was already paused, everyone just staring.
"I'm sorry I have to go." You apologized quickly. You didn't even bother to end the meeting, instead, tearing off your headphones and sprinting from your room, following her out to the kitchen where you saw the plume of smoke coming from the oven. Your mother dared to open it, and you saw the flames rush out before she closed it again.
"What the fuck do we do?!"
"Oh my god!" Your voices were mixed and jumbled together in fear and confusion and you knew there wasn't really any time to waste. The smoke was pouring out and you felt like it was only a matter of moments before the entire oven would be engulfed in flames or worse, explode. And yet in your rush to figure out what to do, you noted that the over was off, so that was at least one good thing.
"Y/n??" Your brain was telling you to Google the answer because you knew that using fire wouldn't be good. It could damage the appliance or somehow cause an electrical fire. You know the fire itself wasn't a grease fire or an electrical fire because like an idiot, you decided to open the oven again and even as the flames were escaping, you could make the two paper plates, along with silverware resting on one of the oven racks.
"Do we have a fire extinguisher?" Your feet carried you out to the side room where you thought you had once seen a mini home fire extinguisher, but upon a quick glance, you couldn't find it.
"No. I think we threw it away because it expired." Your mother called and you quickly made your way back to her. "Maybe we just need to do something to snuff it out."
Great idea! That's exactly what you needed to do. But in order to do that you needed to open the oven which would allow more oxygen in and fan the flames, which was the opposite of what you wanted. But what else could you do? You weren't thinking straight and in your haste to try and get the fire out, you grabbed a frying pan because surely you could just put that over the fire and it would fizzle out. Except, when you opened the oven to do so, the fire blew out and up into and over the pan and you quickly shut the cover, scared shitless that you were actually going to set the house on fire.
"Fuck." Looking around once more, the only solution you could come up with was throwing water on it. Moving to the sink, you turned the water on and started filling the pan you were holding. "I think the best thing we can do is throw water on it and hope for the best."
"That's all we can do." Your mother agreed and once you moved back to the oven, frying pan full of water, you quickly opened the oven and tossed the water in. The burning plate hissed and sizzled, but the fire went out instantaneously, leaving behind the charred remains of whatever had been left in the oven. The smoke was pungent now, the house filling quickly with it. And while your mom worked to turn on the exhaust fan over the stove and open the windows and doors, you worked on pulling out the rack from the oven and bringing it over to the sink.
There was still a bit of ember burning as you dropped the whole thing into the sink and turned on the water, spraying the mess to cool it off further. More hissing and sizzling followed and you left the water to run, taking a deep breath - or as deep as possible given the smoke -to calm yourself. The immediate danger was over, thank fuck.
The front door, side door, back door were all wide open and you moved to the living room to open those windows to help air out the place. It was so hazy and thick and getting harder for you to breathe. It didn't help that both you and your mother were asthmatic and something like this was one step away from triggering an attack.
Making your way outside, you inhaled the fresh air, coughing as your lungs didn't know how to process the clean air from the smokey air you spent the last two minutes or so inhaling. It was good though. And as you stood outside on your front porch, you realized just how fast your heart was still hammering, how tense your body felt as one by one the muscles started to relax. The danger was gone, the house was safe and no one was going to die. Well, no one but the pig of a roommate that once called himself your step father. He was, by all means, the culprit in what happened because you knew first hand you didn't put the plate, fork and spoon in the oven.
And while your mother was getting up there in years, her memory was still in decent shape so you ruled her out immediately. Not to mention, the two of you tended to use plastic silverware mainly because you were both just too lazy to have to deal with washing dishes every time you wanted to eat something. The house was old, so unfortunately it didn't have a dishwasher, or otherwise you would be using the real silverware during meals. And it was because of that that you knew the idiot was the cause of everything.
"All I wanted was to cook my food." Your mother whispered as she took a seat on one of the wicker chairs. "I shouldn't have decided to cook. I should have just ordered food."
"Mom," Sighing softly, you turned to look at her sadly. "This isn't your fault. You didn't put that shit in the oven. So even if you didn't cook today, it would have happened some other day." Because you fully believed it would. Maybe on one of the days you were visiting your boyfriends, leaving your mother home alone. You doubted she would have been able to handle this situation on her own and you knew that getting to her wouldn't be a quick thing when they lived fifteen minutes away. "It's not like we would have had any reason to open the oven to check to make sure it was empty."
And now you did, sadly. Exhaling, you ran a hand through your hair and dropped down into the chair next to hers just staring out at the front yard. You still couldn't believe that had just happened and it felt like you still needed to do something. That it wasn't over and at any moment the house could go up in flames. It was traumatizing.
"How long do you think we have to stay out here?"
"Why?"
"For the smoke and smell to dissipate."
"A couple hours for the smoke, maybe tomorrow for the smell?" It was an estimate, and you really had nothing to gauge that time with, considering this was the first time something like this happened. But you knew that the smell of smoke took a while to get out of things unless they were cleaned and you sure as hell weren't going to go around wiping down all the surfaces in the house and washing rugs, pillows and throw blankets just to get the smell at faster.
'Well fuck." she muttered and you chuckled softly. "Guess I'm going to order food then." You nodded, but the thought of food made your stomach twist in the most unpleasant ways. You were definitely going to pass on food, slumping in the chair.
You weren't sure how long you had sat outside with your mother, not that you really cared. The last thing you were worried about was work or anything else, just making sure she was okay, you were okay and the house was okay. So when a car pulled up in the drive way, you had just assumed it was your mom's food being delivered. But the two men that exited the vehicle was anyone but a delivery person and it was only then that you recognized the car.
"Y/n!" Jogging up to the front porch was Chan and Jisung, both looking as frazzled as you felt. Standing, you smiled as Chan pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing your back gently. "Are you guys okay?"
"We're fine." Pulling back, you looked to Jisung then, moving to his open and waiting arms, returning the hug. "Everything's fine."
"Are you sure? Is there anything we can do?"
"That's so sweet of you boys." Your mom commented and you looked back at her, catching the knowing smile that she sent your way. "But I think we got from here. Just trying to clear the air inside."
"If you're sure." Jisung nodded. "What exactly happened?" You felt your blood start to boil as you started explaining what caused the fire in the oven and the more you talked about it, the more you just wanted to go on in there and beat the shit out of the dead beat. You weren't much of a fighter though and the thought of jail wasn't that appealing, so you thought better of it.
"I'm so sorry you have to deal with this." Chan whispered, hands rubbing your arms as he and jisung crowded you. They couldn't seem to keep their hands off of you and that made you feel so good, so loved and wanted. In a weird way, it relaxed you because you felt safe with them.
"Don't be. It is what it is." You wanted to remind your mother that it didn't have to be this way. That you could get rid of the man. But you also knew she had her reasons for keeping him around and if you had to guess, it was probably financial reasons, which was valid. It wasn't easy trying to support a family on one income. What you made at your new job went towards what bills you had and you were in no way, shape or form capable of contributing to the bills anymore than you already were, which wasn't a lot.
"Well, we're here. If you want, Chan and I can go in and clean up the mess, check for any damages." Jisung offered up and your heart melted at how sweet and caring these two were. You were just their girlfriend. They didn't have any responsibility to help you in any way and yet they were so easily offering it. They really did care about not just you, but your family too.
"That would be great." With a pat to your shoulder, the two removed themselves from your being and headed inside the house and you once more dropped down into the chair next to your mother. "You did good with those two." she whispered.
Yeah, you did and you thanked the universe for bringing the two of them into your life.
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Pairing: Stray Kids OT8 x F!Reader
Pack Sub-Genders:
Bang Chan - Pack Alpha
Lee Know - Head Alpha
Changbin - Alpha
Hyunjin - Head Beta
Han - Omega
Felix - Omega
Seungmin - Beta
I.N - Alpha
Reader - Omega
Series TW. A/B/O dynamics, the entire pack is together (polyamorous), mentions of sexual assault, mentions of abuse, soulmate au, mating bites, suggestive content
Warnings will be added*
Chapter Total: 30
Chapters are posted every Friday, between 8:00am to 11:00am MST
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Pairing: Stray Kids OT8 x F!Reader
Chapter TW. Bit of angst, but mainly fluff
A/N: The response to this series has been more than I ever could've imagined. We've still got more chapters to come but I just wanted to thank you all <3
+ This chapter is also a little shorter than the last and the ones next, but it's kind of like a filler(?) to set up what's coming next!
Everyone is clearly trying to fall back into normal routine, but the weight of everything is heavy. You notice it even though everyone desperately tries to hide it from you. Notice the way Chan and Minho are sometimes tucked away in a corner in a hushed conversation, or the way Jeongin sometimes gets this look in his eyes; this angry, far away look. Changbin is extra careful with you, more attentive. Seungmin tries to pretend the wounds across his body don’t hurt. Hyunjin constantly checks in with you. And Han and Felix are extra clingy; there isn’t really a single moment where at least one of them, but more often than not both of them, aren’t attached at your hip.
You notice it all. And the guilt only gets worse.
This was your fault. Everything. Although no one will say it, you know exactly what everyone's thinking — Jung and Ha-joon had seen you. Had seen you with Seungmin and had probably seen the bite marks on your neck even if they hadn’t said anything. You had no doubt that they’d probably told Seo-jun at this point.
And you knew what that meant.
Seungmin was all the reminder you needed to know why that wasn’t good.
That guilt doesn’t leave you once for those two days. It’s always there, lingering, sucking you dry. It’s there when Han and Felix cuddle into your side, it’s there when Minho hands you dinner with a smile. It’s there when Changbin hugs you close and calls you princess. It’s there when Hyunjin tries to teach you a dance that you fail miserably at. It’s there when Jeongin pulls you into his arms. It’s there when Seungmin comes home from school and sends you a tired smile.
It’s there when Chan looks at you afraid you might fall apart.
And it's hard to pretend that it isn't affecting you, especially when it starts to impact your daily life, things like sleep. Just last night, you'd startled Hyunjin and Felix awake when you'd woken up from a night terror.
You still felt awful. You could only imagine being startled awake by someone screaming in pure terror in the middle of the night.
You'd fallen asleep wrapped up in their arms, cuddled between the beta and omega. Felix's head had been nestled into the crook of your neck, close to his claim mark and Hyunjin's arm had been wrapped tightly around your waist, pressing you against his chest. You'd fallen asleep feeling safe and protected, but it hadn't been enough to fight off the memories that plagued you day and night.
Memories of hands pressing into you, of such cruel words being whispered in your ear. Being pressed against that cold, hard concrete floor. The force, the pain, the tears, the abuse.
Seojun whispering that you'll "always be his" and that you could "never escape him". It was so painful, so vivid and raw, that when your body had finally pulled you from the nightmare, you'd been unable to control the pure, terrified and raw scream that scratched at your throat.
Your scent had soured into something nasty and awful, and your omega had crawled into the recesses of your mind like she always did when it got to be too much.
You'd sat up, breathless, heart racing, sweat clinging to your skin, blinking and staring around yourself as if expecting to see those familiar walls. The walls of your cage. It had taken you a full minute to realize those walls weren't there, and instead, the walls of Hyunjin's room, the ones covered in his own artwork, stared back at you.
Felix had called your name in such a soft, worried breath and you'd glanced back to find him and Hyunjin looking at you in equal concern.
It had taken you a full thirty minutes to calm down, to truly believe you were safe. Hyunjin and Felix had held you through it the entire time, whispering soft assurances in your ear, pressing gentle kisses against the bruises that skill marked your skin.
And yet, as they held and consoled you, all you could feel was the deep, unsettling guilt that you were burdening them. The whole pack. That you'd come into their lives broken and were breaking them as a result.
The guilt stayed, even through their kisses. It always did.
Always there, always pressing, making your smiles just a little shallow, your eyes a little dull and your heart ache a little bit more.
Today is no different. Han is pressed into your side, arms locked around your waist and head resting on your shoulder. He’s watching some nature documentary on the TV in the living room and has all but begged you to join him. Felix had joined shortly after, Switch in hand as he promptly dropped his head on your lap.
Changbin’s on the other side of the couch, notebook in hand, working on producing stuff.
Everyone else is scattered around the house.
You’re watching a baby deer walk on its legs for the first time when Chan comes in.
“Pack meeting!”
You turn to him at his call, meeting his eyes curiously as he grabs the remote from Han and pauses the show. Han lets out a muffled whine but Chan just tells him he has something exciting to tell everyone so his show can wait.
Everyone comes filtering in seconds later.
Once everyone's there, Chan stands in front of you all, dispersed across the large couch, with a broad grin on his face. He lets his eyes drift across everyone before settling on you.
“We’re going on a trip.”
That catches Felix’s attention instantly, sitting up with a sparkle in his eyes; “a trip?!”
Chan hums; “yup. We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.”
“What about work?” Han asks, raising a brow as he glances from Chan to Changbin.
“Chan’s been on the phone all day with our clients pushing back deadlines,” Changbin snorts, but the smile on his face is nonetheless affectionate. “I’m assuming this means he was successful.”
“It wasn’t easy,” Chan sighs, shaking his head. “And it’ll definitely be a pain when we’re back, but for now I’m choosing to focus on the prospect of a break.”
“Hyunjin and I knew ahead of time,” Minho then says, gesturing to the beta loosely. “Cancelled our classes for the week.”
“Spoke with your instructors too,” Chan says, turning to Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin. “They’re aware you’ll be missing this week's classes. They’ll touch base with you when we return to help you catch up.”
You watch as Han and Felix turn to each other, excitement gleaming in their eyes.
“A trip!”
“We haven’t been on one in so long!”
“Where are we going?” Jeongin asks.
“Haeundae Beach,” Chan explains. “I rented us a house by the beach until Saturday.”
“The beach?!” Felix exclaims, “yah! I haven’t been in the ocean in so long!”
“Yes,” Chan smiles at the omega, face fond. “A little touch of home.”
Felix just grins back at him.
“A trip will be nice,” Hyunjin nods, grinning. “Help us forget about things for a while.”
Seungmin hums; “I agree.”
They all turn to you then. You haven’t said a word.
“Y/N?”
It takes you a moment to realize Minho has called for you. Blinking, you turn to him, only to find him staring down at you in concern.
“What about you?” He asks gently, “does the trip sound like a good idea?”
“Oh,” you breathe, “yeah… yeah, of course.” Smiling at them all, you nod. “I think it’ll be great.”
Minho and Chan glance at each other.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you say, this time nodding a bit more confidently.
“You ever been to the beach, princess?” Changbin asks, sitting up to meet your eyes. There’s something in his gaze, something about the way he’s watching you — like he knows what’s actually running through your mind. It makes you squirm.
You shake your head; “no… but I used to love swimming when I was a little girl.”
“Perfect then,” Felix smiles at you, taking your hand in his. “We’ll spend all day in the ocean!”
Seungmin snorts at that; “don’t exhaust the girl, Lixie.”
Felix just sticks his tongue out at him.
Chan crouches in front of you then, eyes soft and smile reassuring. He reaches for you, taking your hand in his own and running his thumb along the back of your hand. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to, Y/N.”
Your lips part, feeling guilty you didn’t show more excitement. “No, I want to,” you say and you mean it, it’s just…—
What if something happens? What if something goes wrong? What if you ruin things again?
But you can’t say that, so you settle for;
“What about the rest of the dates?” You ask, eyes shifting from Chan to Minho. “Are we holding them off?”
“We can if you’d like, but I was thinking of taking you on ours at the beach house,” Minho smiles. “If that’s alright with you?”
“We can try to fit in the rest of our dates,” Changbin says, nodding at you.
That makes you smile, a genuine one. “Okay,” you nod, liking the sound of it. “Then that sounds perfect to me.”
You haven’t ever been on a trip.
Not once. Not even when you were a little girl. Your mom didn’t have a lot of money, so most of the time, the two of you would spend time at home. There was the occasional time she took you swimming; her friend from work lived in a big fancy apartment with a pool. Sometimes she’d let you go there and swim for a few hours.
You’d always loved swimming.
But you hadn’t gone in years… would you even be any good?
Or how about the pressing fact that you have no idea what to pack?
You feel like you’ve been so stuck in your head for the past few days. Lost in your own thoughts and the guilt that had been eating you from the inside out. How were you supposed to just pretend like everything was fine? How were they all okay with pretending everything was fine?
It was scary before, of course it was. Running from Seojun, knowing he was looking for you. It’s different now, though. It’s different now because Jung and Ha-joon had seen you, had seen Seungmin. What if they’d followed you home? You were so out of it, lost in the throes of a stress-induced heat, you had no idea.
What if they knew exactly where you were right now?
What if Seojun knew?
You can’t… you can’t go back to him. Not now. Not after experiencing what real love was like; how fated mates were actually supposed to treat you. You’d gotten so lost in the gleam of everything, you’d forgotten yourself. Being with your pack, with those who loved you, it made you forget why you could never live a normal life.
And now? How were you supposed to pretend like reality hadn’t just slapped you in the face?
Seungmin could’ve been really hurt, more hurt than he already is. He… he could’ve been killed.
Who's to say something like that won't happen again? Only this time worse? You'd never be able to live with yourself if something worse happened. If you were the reason why someone got hurt, if you tore this pack apart.
Weren’t you just putting everyone in danger by staying here?
“Princess?”
Gasping softly, you’re pulled from your thoughts at the sound of Changbin. You turn your head, finding his head popped in through your door, looking at you with a gentle smile.
A gentle smile filled with love.
The guilt twists deeper.
“Hi Binnie,” you say softly.
Changbin takes that as an invitation in. He gently shuts your door behind him before making his way over to you. He instinctively moves to sit on your bed, where your nest is, before pausing.
“It’s okay,” you say, knowing he’d stopped because he didn’t want to intrude on your nest. “You can sit.”
He grins at you and does, settling himself down. The suitcase Felix had given you lays open, with nothing inside, between the two of you.
“What’s going on inside that pretty head of yours, princess?”
Changbin’s voice is soft as he asks. When you meet his eyes, it’s clear he knows something's up.
“I dunno what to pack,” you say because saying what’s actually wrong is too difficult. You don't know how to articulate what the problem really is and above all, you know that even if you did, they'd say you were wrong. Because they selfless and for some reason you still couldn't really understand, they did love you. All of them.
You fear telling them would break their hearts.
And you don’t want to make things worse than they already are. Worse than you’ve already made them.
Changbin’s grin is teasingly soft; “clothes, baby.”
You just blink back at him.
Seemingly understanding that you’re either not in the mood for jokes or it went right over your head, Changbin sighs. “Want me to help you?” He asks instead, glancing around at the pile of clothes you’ve thrown about your room.
You nod at him with a small pout.
So that’s what Changbin does. He pulls up an article of clothing he thinks would be good for the trip and then double checks that you’re okay with it. You agree to everything he picks and it both makes Changbin happy and worries him because he isn’t sure you’re saying yes because you like them or because you don’t want to upset him.
Once everything but a bathing suit is packed, Changbin turns back to you.
“I’m glad Felix convinced us to buy you some bathing suits,” he says, humming to himself. “Of course the Australian in him would never allow you to be unprepared.”
That garners a soft giggle from you, one that Changbin beams at.
“You pick this time, princess,” Changbin gently pushes. “Which one do you want?”
Part of you wants to ask him to just decide for you again anyways, but you know that’ll only cause him to be more suspicious. So, with a soft sigh, you stand, making your way over to your drawer. Felix had picked out far too many bathing suits. There was no way you’d ever wear all of them. But you remember him saying that one way or another, he’d take you swimming at some point.
You guess that point was now. Or rather, this week.
You’re thankful Felix hadn’t just picked out bikinis. You don’t think you’d be comfortable wearing that. You instead go straight for a one piece, one that’s a pretty light purple. You also grab some swim shorts that Felix had picked out for you, just for comfort's sake.
Folding them, you lay them on top of the pile of clothes in your suitcase.
You turn to Changbin, looking at him for approval.
“Perfect, baby,” he grins, ruffling your hair. “Now you’re all packed.”
He flips the suitcase closed, zipping it up and pulling it off your bed.
“Have you packed?”
He hums lightly, “yeah. Wanted to be prepared. It’ll be an early morning.”
You nod and for a moment, silence follows. Changbin thinks then you probably want him to leave, so with a gentle smile and a quiet goodnight, he turns, intending to head for the door. He’s stopped by a hand latching tightly around his wrist.
“Y/N?”
You don’t meet his eyes, staring at your feet with your cheeks warm. Still, you force the words out;
“Can you stay?”
You don’t want to be alone. If you’re alone, you know your thoughts will run wild. You’d been planning on going to Felix or Han, but Changbin had come to check on you. Changbin had helped you. Your omega preens at his care and attentiveness.
You want Changbin.
You didn't blame Hyunjin or Felix and they'd done their best to comfort you, but maybe the presence of an alpha would help keep the nightmares at bay.
You could only hope.
“Of course,” Changbin says without hesitation. He steps towards you, letting your grip loosen as he tentatively reaches for you. You lean into his touch immediately which gives Changbin the confidence to pull you closer. He guides you towards your bed and nest, hoisting you right in the middle before joining you.
You fall against his chest with a soft mewl.
“Thank you, Binnie,” you mumble, enjoying the feeling of his arms around you. Enjoying his scent that envelopes you.
“Of course, princess,” Changbin says and you miss the mild frown on his face as he stares down at you in concern. He’s careful to keep his scent sweet, not giving way to his concern. “Just get some sleep, okay?”
You hum, eyelids growing heavy and droopy as you find yourself peacefully slipping away to the first restful sleep you’ve had in two days.
The second you’re asleep, Changbin instinctively pulls you closer.
He hadn’t wanted to press, but he could tell something was wrong. Something had been wrong for the past few days, since the incident with Seojun’s friends and Seungmin. The whole pack had known you felt guilty, even if they desperately tried to assure you you shouldn’t. And it wasn’t like they were oblivious to what it could mean.
About how Seojun had a better idea of where you were now. And that you’d been claimed.
But something about the way you’d been acting, staring off into the distance, lost in your own head…
It makes Changbin’s chest tight with worry.
He’ll definitely have to bring it up with the rest of the pack, especially Chan. For now, though, he’ll hold you close where you’re safe in his arms.
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Pairing: Stray Kids OT8 x F!Reader
A/N: EARLY CHAPTER WOOOOOOO
Also, chapters are getting slightly longer from this point out! I am genuinely so excited to see your guys' reactions to all of them lol.
Chapter TW. Mention/allusion to non-con, stress-induced heat
“Shut up!” Seojun hisses, rolling his eyes at the cry that leaves your lips the second his hand meets your cheek. You just stare back at him, pressing a hand to the offended spot, hugging yourself best you can to cover yourself from the two pairs of eyes currently watching the both of you.
“I don’t care what you’re comfortable with,” Seojun hisses, glowering down at you. He grasps your jaw, holding tight. “What you want doesn’t matter.”
His words cut into you like a knife, twisting and digging in deeper. You want to say something, beg for him to stop, but you know rationally it won’t do anything. All it’ll do is cause you more pain in the end.
With a shaky breath and a trembling whimper, you turn your head, finding two sets of eyes on you. They watch you, closely, leering at you, laughing at your humiliation. They let their eyes trail across your naked and vulnerable figure, only laughing louder when you try to pitifully cover yourself.
They’re here to watch. Seojun’s friends.
Seojun would never let them touch you, even though they’d asked. He was far too possessive for that. But he seemed to get a sick joy out of having others watch.
Watch as he… did things to you.
Or maybe he just liked how much you didn’t. Enjoyed the way it’d make your eyes well with tears and your body tense in humiliation.
Letting your eyes fall shut, you desperately try to ignore the feeling of Seojun’s hands on you, of the eyes on you, of anything but what’s happening to you.
It never works.
“Y/N?”
This can’t be real.
You have to be imagining this.
Those eyes… they’re looking at you again.
Swallowing thickly, you take a step back, feeling your breath get caught in the back of your throat. The panic is crawling its way inside of you and you don’t know what to do.
A hand falls on your shoulder and you jump, a cry leaving your lips. You spin, your panic making you think it’s one of them, but instead, you find Seungmin staring down at you in panic.
That’s right. Seungmin. Seungmin was here.
Seungmin wouldn’t let them hurt you. Seungmin would never let them hurt you.
You turn back to them, the two of them, eyes settling on the one in the front who’d called for you.
You’d momentarily been assured at the thought that Seungmin would never let any harm come to you. And you still believed that, but… There were two of them and one of Seungmin.
The panic seizes you again.
“Y/N,” Seungmin calls, voice gentle. “Y/N, who are they?”
“Y/N!” The one who’d called for you before says, laughing. His name was Jung, and the other was Ha-joon. “It’s been such a long time! Seojun said you guys were having some trouble, but I guess you actually just ran off, huh?”
Your heart falls to the pit of your stomach at the sound of Seojun’s name. Seungmin tenses behind you.
“And who’s your friend?” Jung continues, the two now directly in front of you.
Swallowing thickly, you find your entire body trembling. You can’t do anything because you can’t think straight. You want to disappear. You don’t want to be here anymore. Even though you’re fully clothed, it still feels like they can see everything.
Then, there’s a shadow in front of you. It’s Seungmin.
You can’t see his face but his shoulders stand tense in front of you. He completely blocks you from view, and one of his hands reaches back towards you.
“Seungmin,” he says, voice low and dull, as if bored. “We’re actually just on our way home.”
Jung watches Seungmin for a moment, eyes trailing across him, before turning back to Ha-joon. They both smile at each other, and you have to fight back a whimper of fear.
“A beta, huh?” Jung says, raising a challenging brow. “What exactly do you think this is?”
“Whatever it is, I know Y/N wants nothing to do with either of you.”
Ha-joon laughs at that, loud and barking. It sounds exactly like that night. Like the many nights Seojun had forced you to…—
“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave before things get ugly.”
Seungmin just stares back. “Me and Y/N will happily do so.”
Jung’s eyes flash. “Y/N’ll be coming with us.”
And Seungmin hesitates for a moment. Silence echoes, thick and tense. Finally, Seungmin shakes his head. “Not happening.”
Scoffing, Jung laughs, mocking. “And how is a beta gonna stop two alphas?”
Seungmin shrugs, and then he’s pushing you back gently. He meets your eyes, warm and reassuring, making sure you’re far away enough before turning back to them, and raising his fists at the two. “Don’t know,” he says honestly. “But Y/N isn’t going anywhere she doesn’t want to. And she certainly isn’t going with you two.”
It’s a blur after that. You can barely hear your own screams and cries. Seungmin manages to take Ha-joon down on his own, but the victory doesn’t last long. Seungmin isn’t a fighter and adrenaline can only get someone so far. You remember Jung outside of those nights where he’d watch you, too. You’d known him in school, he was friends with Seojun then. Except, he was always getting into fights. He regularly walked into class with bruised knuckles. Only, his victim always looked worse.
He knew how to fight.
You watch Seungmin go down, screaming, tears streaming down your cheeks. It’s too much. All of it. There’s blood, Seungmin yells out in pain, and you’re sinking. Something cracks. Your omega cries at you, tells you to get away, and when you don’t move, she leaves, pulling you down with her. Everything just shuts down.
You just shut down.
You don’t hear the girls from across the street scream when they notice what’s happening, you don’t hear them yell they’re calling the police. You don’t hear the commotion that follows. Somewhere along the way, others crowd and Jung realizes he’s outnumbered. With a hiss, he grabs Ha-joon and moves to leave. Seungmin remains on the ground, but he shifts as Jung steps towards you.
You don’t notice.
You remember what he says to you before leaving though.
“I’ll find you. I’ll find you and bring you back to Seojun. Maybe then he’ll finally let me have you.”
After that, everything turns black.
"Seungmin?"
"You're bleeding!"
"Y/N! What happened?"
"Seungmin!"
"Just... Just—"
Chan watches, breath stuck in the back of his throat and heart racing madly against his chest, as Seungmin's eyes roll to the back of his head. His voice fall silent as his body gives up on him. His skin, which had already been a scary white beneath the bruises, turns paler as his strength gives out beneath him.
Jeongin, who'd been closest to the door given that he'd been seconds away from storming right out it, rushes forward. With him, the rest follow. Chan manages to reach the two only seconds after Jeongin, helping the younger alpha catch Seungmin and you before you both crash into the ground.
Jeongin shifts Seungmin, pulling him into his arms as Chan grabs you, cradling you close. Chan's first priority is looking over you for any injuries; Seungmin had walked in covered in them, and Chan was terrified of what he'd find on you.
There's nothing. Nothing that he can see, at least. You're unconscious, pale, and there's sweat clinging to your skin. But... But you don't look hurt.
Thank god.
Chan's eyes fall on Seungmin, still unconscious in Jeongin's arms, something terrible twisting in his chest.
"Are... Are they okay?"
Chan turns to Felix, seeing the worried look on the younger man's face, the furrow of his brows, the frown on his lips. His scent has soured in his distress.
All of their scents have.
Letting his eyes drift across the rest of the pack, Chan takes in the way Hyunjin has stepped towards Seungmin, looking over his wounds. Changbin's standing close, hands clenched by his sides, knuckles white. Minho has pulled a whimpering Han into his arms, trying to soothe the distressed omega.
"Y/N's okay," Chan says, voice cracking as he struggles to find it. "She's unconscious, but okay. Not... Not hurt."
Everyone eases, just a little.
"Seungmin is okay too," Hyunjin nods, glancing up from the beta to meet Chan's gaze. "He's hurt though. His wrist... looks sprained, if not worse. His eye is black, and his body is covered in bruises. Chan, this... this is beyond what I can do to help."
"Okay," Chan breathes. "We need to get him to Doctor Yoon."
"What happened?" Han asks then, voice small, trembling.
Felix shudders next to him. "Was it... Seojun?"
"Seungmin wouldn't have gotten into a fight for nothing," Changbin says, shaking his head. "He's logical. Smart. This had to have been him."
"How'd they get away then?" Hyunjin asks, huffing as he stands.
"They were in public," Changbin explains. "Someone must've saw."
"And you think that's why Seojun isn't at our front door right now?"
"That and we're a whole pack. With four alphas. Any smart alpha wouldn't dare."
Chan can tell he's losing control of the pack, voice blending in together, speaking over one another. The reality of it grips him by the throat, making him feel like he can't breathe.
"I wish the fucker would," Jeongin says then, speaking for the first time. His voice is different though—deeper, sharper, a growl. Chan's eyes fall to the young alpha, only to see his eyes glowing with rage. "So I could kill him myself."
"Jeongin—"
"Don't even try to tell me I'm overreacting." Jeongin hisses, sharp eyes zoning in on Felix.
The omega cowers back in response, a whimper leaving his lips.
"Seungmin's hurt and Y/N's unconscious," Jeongin continues, voice turning more inhuman as he gets himself more worked up. His grip is tightening on Seungmin, inadvertly turning harmful as his claws dig into the betas arms. "In fact, I'm gonna go out there right now and find him myself. And when I do, I'll make sure he—"
"Chan."
It's Minho. Low, forceful and demanding.
Chan turns to him, still holding and consoling a now crying Han, but his eyes are on Chan. And his meaning is obvious, without him even having to say it.
Do something.
It snaps Chan out of his revere. He takes in his pack, his distressed omegas, his angry baby alpha, his hurt beta and you.
Sitting up straighter, Chan turns to Jeongin. "Jeongin, calm down. Now." The younger alpha turns to him, eyes flashing just for a moment before he meets his pack alpha's gaze. Instantly, he's blinking out of his self and cowering back in submission.
Chan sighs. He hates using his alpha voice, but he had to get control of the situation. Minho had reminded him of that fact. "I know we're angry and upset, but Seungmin and Y/N come first. We need to get Seungmin help and we need to make sure Y/N is okay when she wakes up."
"I'll take him to Doctor Yoon," Changbin says then and Chan is more than grateful for him stepping up and keeping a sound mind. He couldn't handle another out of control alpha, not when he's barely keeping it together himself.
"I'll take Y/N," Minho offers, stepping forward with Han. "And it's best the omegas are here when she wakes up."
Chan hums in agreement.
"I'll go with Changbin," Hyunjin says, nodding.
"Ayen," Chan calls, pulling the younger boys gaze back on him. The alpha's anger has faded into shameful guilt. Chan makes sure his voice is soft when he speaks. "Me and you are going to cool off, okay? We'll keep the house safe, yeah?"
Slowly, Jeongin nods. His grip remains tight on Seungmin, but not harmful, protective.
Then, a soft whimper leaves your lips. All eyes turn fall on you, Chan's arms tensing around you as he glances down at you in his lap. A quick look tells him you're still unconscious, and for a moment, his brows furrow, confused.
Then the smell hits him.
Changbin's eyes widen; "is she...?"
"She's going into heat," Felix says, leaning forward in worry. "It's probably from the stress."
The scent overwhelms Chan, momentarily taking over his senses. The pack notices and Chan is grateful for the way Felix pulls you out of his lap so Chan can stand and take a deep breath.
"Changbin," Minho calls, "you and Hyunjin take Seungmin. Chan, take yourself and Ayen outside, now. I'll stay. We all know I have the best control of my senses when it comes to scents."
That's right. Yes. Minho does.
Minho... Minho would be able to help you.
The omegas too.
Right now, Chan could only help by getting away, even if his alpha cried not to. Jeongin, he thinks.
Jeongin needs him.
So that's what he focused on.
It’s hot. Too hot.
And everything hurts.
It’s all you can focus on as your eyes flicker open. The pain.
Your vision is blurred, dazed, your mind a fog, and somewhere along the way you realize you’re in heat.
“Shh. Shh,” a voice calls out to you, a hand brushing hair away from your sweaty face. “You’re okay, Y/N. You’re okay.”
You don’t recognize the voice. Not at first. Their voice is muffled by the pounding in your ears.
What happened? Where were you? Why were you in heat?
You were supposed to have at least another week, if not more, before your heat.
It all comes flooding back then. Jung and Ha-joon. Seojun.
Seungmin.
Seungmin.
“Seungmin,” you croak, voice cracking. “Where’s Seungming? Is Seungmin okay?”
The hand falls on your face, then, soothing, gentle. You know instantly it isn’t Seojun. It isn’t Jung or Ha-joon either. It can’t be. Seungmin protected you. Seungmin got hurt because of you.
“Doctor Yoon is checking on him right now, Y/N.” The voice says and you blink, peering through blurred vision to find Minho over you. “He’s okay. He’s okay, I promise.”
You reach out for Minho blindly, he takes your hand in his. “It’s my fault,” you cry, shifting on the bed as you cry out in pain. “It’s my fault.”
“It’s not,” Minho says sternly. “None of it is.”
You just cry, curling into yourself further.
“Y/N,” Minho calls, “listen to me. You’ve gone into a stress-induced heat. Can you hear me?”
Eyes scrunching shut, your nails dig into his hand that still holds yours, the heat making it feel like you can’t breathe.
“You’re in heat,” Minho repeats, voice sharper. “You need someone to help you. You need release. Someone to make you feel better.”
“Come on, Y/N. I can make you feel better.”
“No!” You cry, feeling his hands, pressing into you, forcing you. You feel those eyes, watching you, leering at you. “NO!”
Minho doesn’t pull away. But he doesn’t touch you elsewhere either.
“Okay, okay. No one will touch you, okay? I promise. We can get you toys to help,” Minho says. “But you shouldn’t be alone.”
Whimpering, you blink up at him. Somewhere in the back of your mind you know he’s right.
“Who do you want?”
“Seungmin,” you say.
Minho frowns. “Seungmin isn’t here, kitten. Hyunjin and Changbin are gone too. What about the omegas? Huh? How about Felix or Han?”
You want Seungmin, you want to make sure he’s okay. You need to see he’s okay. But even in your fatigue, you know Minho can’t make that happen.
Dazedly, you nod.
“Okay, kitten. I’ll get them. They’ll help you, okay?”
Your heat lasts two days.
It’s shorter than normal because it arrived early due to what happened. For those two days, Han and Felix take turns watching you and helping you. No one else is allowed in your room other than them, as per Minho’s rules. Even when later that first night, Seungmin returns home, Minho doesn’t let him into your room.
“She wasn’t thinking clearly,” Minho says, “she didn’t know what she wanted. She was upset and stressed. Plus her scent was strong, really strong. It took everything in me to keep my control.”
No one argues.
You spend most of it ignoring the toys Minho brought and instead curling into yourself. Both Felix and Han try to coax you to use them, reassuring you that it’ll help you, but you refuse them.
The best they can do is comfort you and make sure you eat and drink water.
When the heat ends and the fog lifts from your mind, you don’t hesitate.
“Y/Nnie,” Felix frowns, hands held out for you. “You should really rest.”
You just shake your head, making your way out of your room and straight to the living room. You move slowly, still weak, but determined. You follow your sense of smell, not stopping until you find Seungmin, laying back on the couch. He sits up at the sight of you, staring back at you.
You frown as you take him in.
There’s a brace around his wrist. His left eye is still black. His upper lip is swollen. There’s bruises lining the skin you can see.
The tears come before you can stop them.
Felix freezes behind you. Changbin, Han and Hyunjin who’d been sitting on the couch stand in a panic the second you start crying. Chan and Minho come running out from the kitchen. Jeongin stumbles out from his bedroom, having smelt your panicked scent.
No one moves though. And you don’t look away from Seungmin.
“It’s my fault,” you say, echoing the words you’d cried to Minho before in a panic. “It’s my fault you’re so hurt.”
The whole pack is there, but no one moves. Han and Felix, who’d normally be the first to comfort you, don’t. Everyone knows this is between you and Seungmin.
“It’s not,” Seungmin says after a moment, standing. “I would do that for any of the pack members.”
You let out a sob, hands brushing the tears from your face uselessly.
Seungmin makes his way over to you.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispers, raising his hand to cup your cheek. He pulls your teary eyes on him and offers you a small gentle smile. “I should’ve done more to protect you.”
And he says it almost as if he’s the one who should feel guilty.
It breaks your heart all over again.
You fall into his arms, suddenly and for a moment, Seungmin thinks of your date at the karaoke bar, when you’d jumped into his arms in excitement. When the two of you had sung that duet song and scored a perfect hundred. This time, you fall into his arms in tears, sobbing into his neck. No excitement, only hurt.
Seungmin wishes he could have that moment in the bar all over again.
But he can’t. So, instead, he pulls you closer, and lets you cry.
That night, without any words needing to be said, it’s obvious who you go to.
Seungmin.
In his bed, wearing one of his shirts, Seungmin lets you curl yourself around him. He isn’t that used to cuddling. It isn’t like he hasn’t cuddled with the others before, especially Felix or Han, but it doesn’t happen as often as it might with some of the other members. Felix naturally drifted towards Hyunjin, Changbin or Chan. And nine times out of ten, Han went to Minho. Occasionally he’d cuddle with Jeongin too. The others liked to cuddle, but not overtly.
But never really him.
He finds he likes it more than he thought he would.
“I never thanked you.”
Seungmin turns to you as you whisper the words, meeting your eyes. “You don’t have to.”
He watches as you raise your hand, eyes fluttering shut as you softly brush the tips of your fingers over his black eye.
“I do,” you whisper, because it's just a fact. Seungmin assured you he'd do it for anyone, and you believed that. But it still mattered that he did it for you. “Thank you, Minnie.”
You see the way Seungmin stills, not in an uncomfortable way, but clearly caught off guard. The tips of his ears burn a bright red and his gaze lowers.
"Y-You're welcome," he mutters, voice soft.
Despite everything, it pulls a smile to your lips. Seungmin truly was adorable.
Leaning forward back into his embrace, you let your voice flal to a quiet hum. “And even though the date got interrupted, I did truly have a wonderful time.”
Blinking, Seungmin’s lips part. “You did?”
“Yeah,” you smile softly. “I loved it.”
He leans into your touch; “I’m glad.”
And the silence echoes for a moment before you whisper; “can you do one more thing for me?”
“Anything.”
Seungmin truly means it.
“Can you claim me?”
That catches his attention. Eyes widening, Seungmin’s lips part. “You want my bite?”
You hum; “I do.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
And the way you say it so sincerely, without hesitation, makes his heart flutter.
“Okay,” he nods, “I want yours too.”
That makes you smile. “Okay.”
The night ends with you both claiming one another. It’s slow, tender, careful because of both of your wounds, mental and physical. When it’s done and Seungmin’s bite joins the other three on your neck, you fall asleep against his side with a content smile.
Seungmin finds himself staring once again, lost in the beauty of your smile.
He never wants to see the fear he’d seen on you that night ever again.
And he swears he’ll make sure it never happens again.
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Pairing: Stray Kids OT8 x F!Reader
A/N: I'm actually so excited for this chapter and the next because some ANGST is coming yall
Chapter TW. Mention/allusion to non-con, unconsensual voyeurism, fighting, mention of bruises and blood, angst, hurt/comfort.
A peaceful quiet. Seungmin hummed softly to himself as you let your eyes wander across the streets, taking in the setting sun and brisk night air through the cracked open window.
It was the weekend, a few days after your date with Han, and it was Seungmin’s turn. As opposed to the other three dates you’ve been on, Seungmin was a lot more nonchalant about the whole thing. Or, at least, he tried to be. Changbin had told you the beta had been planning the date to perfection since the idea of these dates were first brought up, tossing and turning over where to take you.
Seungmin didn’t know you knew this and you’d decided you wouldn’t tell him. You didn’t want to embarrass him and you were more than happy just knowing he cared.
You’re pulled from your thoughts as the car slows to a stop. Blinking, you sit up, glancing around to see where he’d taken you. Seungmin had insisted it was a surprise and wouldn’t tell you, nor let anyone else tell you (which Hyunjin had tried with a shit-eating grin).
“Karaoke?” You echo, reading the giant neon sign right above your head. Turning to Seungmin, you raise a brow. “We’re gonna sing?”
Seungmin hums. “I bought us a private room so you don’t have to worry about anyone but me hearing you.” He explains, meeting your eyes before hesitating. “But if it really makes you uncomfortable, we can always—”
You don’t even let him finish the thought. Knowing how hard he’d tried to find a fun and interesting date for you two to do, even a moment of hesitation and doubt in his eyes broke your heart.
“No, I don’t mind,” you reassure softly, smiling gently as you pull your cardigan tighter around yourself. “Just don’t judge me if my voice is awful.”
Seungmin brightens at that, smile brightening and tension easing.
“I’ll try not to.”
Seungmin was enamoured.
Sitting there, in that small private karaoke room, watching you sing without a care in the world… he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You were beautiful, in every single way. You’d been nervous at first, he could tell, glancing around unsure, but smiling every time you caught Seungmin’s gaze. He sang first, just to try and ease you into it, and you’d complimented him on his voice, gushing over it.
Seungmin’s heart was still racing at your kind words, that warmth in his belly never disappearing at hearing such genuine words from you. Singing was something Seungmin passionately enjoyed, it’s why he’d chosen the karaoke bar. He figured this was a good way to invite you into his life, into what he was passionate about, without overwhelming you.
He’d spent the last few days stressing over where to take you, how to make the date worth it. He wanted to give you a night you’d remember. After all, the chance to have a night with you, alone, was special. He didn’t want to mess it up.
He didn’t want to do just a dinner or just a walk. Those things weren’t him. But when he thought about singing, about how happy it made him, how getting lost in the music and the moment helped him find peace, even just briefly, he knew that was it. He wanted to give you an outlet, a way for you to just… lose yourself in the moment.
And it seemed it’d worked.
After a rocky and nervous beginning, you’d seemingly found your pace. It had been like a switch had gone off. One minute you’re singing with a small, somewhat shaky voice and the next, you’re meeting Seungmin’s eyes, and he’s smiling at you and it’s like everything else fades to the background. You start singing, truly, eyes lighting up with something he’s not yet seen.
And you just… let it all go.
Seungmin can’t take his eyes off of you. He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to miss one second of this moment. He loves his pack more than anything but he’s truly glad it’s just the two of you then, that he has you all to himself, that he can stare at you without worrying about anyone else seeing it.
That he can fall in love with you even more.
When the song finishes, you turn to him with a breathless, elated smile. Seungmin, despite himself, mimics it.
“How was I?” You ask and something on your face makes Seungmin realize you’re desperate for his approval.
As if he’d ever deny you it.
“Amazing,” he says, not even recognizing his own voice. Seungmin wasn’t usually so warm and mushy, but you brought something out in him so few could.
You laugh, sitting back on the couch beside him. “I was not,” you flush. “My voice was shaky.”
“No it wasn’t,” Seungmin shakes his head, turning to face you. “It was beautiful.”
You blink at that, eyes widening briefly. The flush on your cheeks intensifies and Seungmin worries for a moment he’d been too honest, too much, but then you’re smiling so warmly he never wants to forget the sight of it.
“Do you want to sing a duet?” You ask, head tilting curiously.
“A duet?” Seungmin echoes, turning back to the screen. “Sure.”
He lets you choose. You take a few moments, letting a few songs play before shaking your head. He just watches, content.
You choose Dream by Suzy and Bakhyun. Seungmin feels his heart race a little when he realizes you've chosen a love song.
Lifting his mic, Seungmin starts;
You are beautiful just as you were yesterday.
No, you’re more beautiful than you were yesterday.
And as he sings, he lets his gaze trail over to you. You’re already looking at him, smiling wide and encouragingly, swaying softly to the beat of the song.
When I say something like this
You always change subjects pretending you didn’t hear anything.
You lift your microphone, cheeks warm, ears red, and softly sing;
I had really sweet dreams yesterday
Because I’m too shy
I don’t wanna tell you now
And also it’s not very good to tell someone this kind of thing
Dream that I can never have again
That was really sweet
I think you are just like the dream.
It’s only thanks to the soft laugh you let out as you signal that it’s his turn that he lifts his microphone, having lost himself in you.
Dream that I get to keep thinking about all day
That was really sweet
That’s you
People say we’re a really cute couple
I know, she knows
Actually I also think so
But sometimes I get worried about you
And then I feel sad alone
You lift your mic, turning back to the TV to read your lines.
Hmm, you’re telling a lie
With the look full of confidence
But that’s so sweet to hear
Dream, that I can never have again
That was really sweet
I think you are just like the dream
You look right at him as you sing the last line. Seungmin’s ears turn red.
Dream that I get to keep think about all day
That was really sweet
That’s you
You step side to side, feeling yourself in the music as you lift your microphone again.
Well I don’t care
Even if you’re a sweet liar
Seungmin lifts his own to follow;
Well I don't care
Cause I will make you believe
And then, together, you both sing;
Dream, when you look
At me just like that
I feel like you’re so mine
Dream, that makes me want to fall asleep again
Such a sweet dream
That’s you
The song finishes with its final chord and you turn to the tv, eyes shining as you wait for the score to pop up.
A perfect hundred.
Seungmin just manages to catch you as you jump into his arms, stumbling back on his feet as he wraps his arms around your waist. You giggle into his ear, ecstatic at the score, and while Seungmin is also impressed by the score, he finds the feeling of you in his arms better than anything else.
You pull back a moment later, meeting his eyes with a shy smile.
“Sorry,” you say, “I just can’t believe we scored perfectly.”
Seungmin shakes his head; “you can jump into my arms any time.”
He hardly realizes he says it. His naturally sarcastic side slips in before he can stop himself and with wide eyes, Seungmin’s lips part. “I-I mean…”
Setting your hands on his shoulders, you shake your head. “If we score another perfect score I definitely will.” You tease him, smiling wide at him.
Seungmin stares back at you, wide eyed.
The two of you take turns singing a couple more songs. He lets you choose his songs, enjoying the way you compliment him afterwards.
“Your voice is literally that of an angel, Seungmin.”
He definitely will be singing around you a lot more if that’s the response he’ll get every time.
Eventually you both take a break, ordering some food.
Seungmin’s fine to eat in a comfortable silence, like he usually is. You, however, seem to be bouncing with an excitement he hasn’t yet seen on you, not that he minds. You also seem to decide that now's the time to get to know Seungmin better.
“What are you going to school for?”
“I’m taking classes specializing in media studies,” Seungmin answers, taking a bite of the food.
Your eyes widen; “that’s so cool.”
Flushing, Seungmin shakes his head. “It’s really not.”
“It is,” you insist and Seungmin finds he can’t argue with you when you pout like that. “I wish I’d gone to school for something…”
“Did you want to?” He asks, “I mean… before Seojun…”
You nod. “I didn’t really know what, just that I did,” you explain, shrugging. “I’d still like to.”
“We can figure something out,” Seungmin says, meeting your eyes. “Like we did for Lixie. If you really want to go, that is.”
Your eyes brighten at that. “I do.”
“Then we’ll make it happen.”
The conversation continues on like that. While the two of you eat, you ask him a multitude of questions ranging from silly to serious. You ask him questions about his childhood, about how it was finding the pack, about his favourite animal, and more.
When you’re both done eating, Seungmin tells you that he only has the room booked for another hour.
“Let’s not waste it then,” you say, beaming at him.
The sun has already set by the time the two of you are done.
Seungmin’s hand rests on your lower back as he guides you out of the karaoke bar, telling you he’s just going to text Chan quickly. You nod, watching as he pulls his phone from his pocket, pulling open his and Chan’s messages.
You let your eyes wander around, eyes falling on a group of girls across the road, clearly drunk and giggling with each other as they make their way out of a bar.
You watch them for a moment, lost in the freedom of their actions. It makes you wonder if you never met Seojun if that’s what you’d be doing now. If that’s how you’d be. Carefree, drunk on a Saturday night, giggling with your friends.
Turning back to Seungmin, letting your eyes drift across the side of his face as his brows furrow at something Chan says and think back on the night you two just had, and the dates you’d spent with Felix, Han and Chan and the ones still to come, you realize you’re content with the way your life is now regardless. You never want to relive what Seojun had put you through, but it had led you to your pack.
And you’d never regret that.
Seungmin slides his phone back in his pocket, turning to you. “Okay, so I told Chan we’re on our way home. However, is—”
But you don’t hear a word he’s saying.
“Y/N?”
“They’re still not home?”
Minho shakes his head. “When did Seungmin text you again?”
“Over an hour ago,” Chan frowns, eyeing his phone in case he’d somehow missed a text from Seungmin. There’s nothing. “It should’ve only taken them twenty minutes to get back from the karaoke bar. And if they’d stopped somewhere for something, Seungmin would’ve told me.”
Changbin sighs; “it’s not like Seungmin to be late.”
“No,” Minho agrees. “Have you tried calling him?”
Chan nods. “Three times. It goes straight to voicemail.”
“Should we—”
“What’s going on?”
Everyone turns to the hall as Felix’s words cut Changbin off, turning to find not only the omega but Han and Jeongin as well.
Felix’s eyes trail from Changbin to Chan, taking in everyone’s worried expressions and frowns heavier.
“Where’s Y/N/N and Seungminnie?”
Hyunjin hesitates, turning to the three alphas.
“Guys?” Jeongin presses, stepping forward.
“They’re not home yet,” Minho says, voice careful.
Han shakes his head; “it’s quite late. They should’ve been home by now.”
“I know,” Chan sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“Do you think something could’ve happened to them?” Felix asks, wringing his hands with worry.
Hyunjin stands then, moving towards the omega and pulling him into his arms. “I’m sure they’re okay,” he says to Felix before turning to the rest of the pack. “Maybe Seungmin just forgot to text us and they went to get food or something?”
Changbin sighs. “They would’ve had food at the bar.” He says, frowning. “And again, Seungmin’s not the type to not keep us updated. Especially with Y/N.”
“You think… Seojun found them?” Han asks, eyes widening as his voice pitches in concern.
Minho steps towards him, attempting to calm the omega. “Let’s not assume the worst case scenario.”
“Han’s right though,” Jeongin shakes his head. “What if they ran into that asshole?”
Everyone hesitates, glancing at one another.
“I’m going,” Jeongin suddenly says, stepping forward. “What karaoke bar did they go to again? I’ll start there and then—”
But before he can finish, the door swings open, revealing a bloodied Seungmin, holding you in his arms, unconscious.
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Pairing: Stray Kids OT8 x F!Reader
Chapter TW. Mild angst, self-doubt and blame and then fluff :)
It’s been a few days since your date with Chan and Felix.
The past few days have been nice. Peaceful. You’d stayed at home most days, hanging out with whoever was home that day. You’d also started helping with some of the chores around the house, just to keep yourself from going insane. When you were with Seojun, you spent hours alone, bored in that basement. You had no intention of ever wasting another moment like that again.
Even if that meant doing chores. You liked doing them, even. It was different from when Seojun would make you cook for him or clean up after him. You never did them alone and it was never an expectation. You’d help Minho cook dinner or help Changbin with the dishes after. You’d tend to the garden outside with Jeongin or Hyunjin just to get some fresh air.
It didn’t really matter what, you were just happy to spend time with them.
But now that a few days had gone by, you were starting to wonder if your date with Han was ever going to happen. In fact, you’d seen the least out of the omega out of the rest of the pack. He’d gone to work everyday and then when he’d get home, he went straight into Minho’s room before you could say anything.
He didn’t even eat dinner with everyone.
It confused you. When the topic of dates with everyone had been brought up, Han had seemed the most excited. He’d pouted at the fact that Chan got to go first and that he was third, whilst also gloating to the others that he was third and not fourth, fifth, and so on.
And yet, now, he was avoiding you like the plague.
You bring it up with Hyunjin on the sixth day. It was just him home that day, the rest were all out. Seungmin and Felix had a class, Minho had a class to teach, Jeongin had gone out for the day, and Han was at work with Changbin and Chan.
Hyunjin is painting a portrait for a client when you bring it up.
“Is Han mad at me?”
And the question makes him still. His hand which had been brushing a stroke across the canvas freezes, hovering in the air, as his eyes shift to meet your own. You’d asked the question so softly, so uncertain, voice thick with concern.
Hyunjin frowns; “of course not.” Then, setting the paint brush down, Hyunjin shakes his head. “Why would you think that?”
“We’re supposed to have our date next,” you start, frowning. “But he hasn’t said anything about it. I remember Chan saying that they had a deadline coming up for a client so I understand he’s busy, but he’s hardly spoken more than ten words to me in the past week.”
And you watch as Hyunjin blinks, pausing for a moment, as if thinking back on the past few days. Then, he turns to you, wide eyed.
“What’s the date?”
You blink at him, confused. “I, uh…”
Hyunjin pulls his phone from his pocket, clicking it on and the second he sees the date, he’s cursing, pushing himself to his feet.
“Hyunjin?”
As if remembering you’re there, Hyunjin turns to you. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he’s saying, mentally cursing himself for losing his cool momentarily. “It’s just… Well, Han’s heat is supposed to start soon. Even today potentially.”
That causes your eyes to widen; “what?”
“It must’ve slipped our minds,” Hyunjin says, running his hand through his hair. “With everything, I completely forgot. Fuck, I’m such a bad mate.”
You feel guilt fester in you. With everything clearly meant everything with you. Rationally, you knew Hyunjin didn’t mean it that way, but it still didn’t erase the fact that your arrival in the pack had caused Han’s heat to be pushed in the back of everyone’s minds.
Swallowing thickly, you step towards Hyunjin, setting your hand over his arm.
“It’s not your fault, Hyunjin,” you whisper, “it’s mine. For making everything about myself.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen and he turns to you, cupping your cheek. “Absolutely not,” he says, voice firm. “This isn’t your fault. We should’ve done a better job at keeping track of his heat as Han’s mates. There’s no way you could’ve known.”
Your lips part to argue, chest tight with guilt, but Hyunjin is pressing his thumb gently against your lips, shaking his head.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispers, staring into your eyes as he waits for you to agree.
Slowly, you nod; “not my fault.” Though, you don’t believe the words.
Pleased at that, Hyunjin pulls away, grabbing his phone. “I’ve got to call Chan. Let him know. With any luck, we’ll have caught it before it started.”
They didn’t.
It takes Hyunjin three calls to get an answer, and by the time he does, it isn’t Chan who answers but Changbin. You don’t hear the phone call, but it’s clear by the expression that morphed on Hyunjin’s face that it wasn’t good.
Turns out Han had gone into heat at work. While their client had been there.
You’re still not sure of all the details, but apparently it was chaos. Their client, who was an alpha, had to be physically removed from the premises, his alpha nearly going into rut at the mere smell of the pheromones coming off of Han. Changbin had even said he’d struggled to contain himself; Han’s scent had been sweeter than normal but also more distressed as well.
Thick with anxiety.
Thirty minutes after Hyunjin called them, Changbin and Chan came stumbling inside. You’re standing by the entrance between the kitchen and living room, not wanting to get too close and cause any more stress. Even though you want to do nothing more than help Han, you know that as another omega there isn’t much you can do. So, instead, you stand there, watching as you wring your hands together nervously.
Chan is carrying Han in his arms, telling Changbin to get some extra blankets and pillows for his nest, while Han himself is a sweating, needy mess in Chan’s arms. He’s curled into his embrace, face buried into Chan’s neck, as he whimpers and cries in pain.
It makes your stomach sick with worry.
Everything moves too fast. Chan has Han in his room in seconds, him and Hyunjin staying in while Changbin makes his way out to you. Changbin says something to you, but you don’t hear it. You can only focus on Han, on the cries and whimpers and moans you can hear even from out in the living room.
Somewhere along the way, Changbin sits you on the couch, bundling you up with blankets.
You just continue to stare at the hallway leading to Han’s room.
Ten minutes later and Minho is bursting through the front door. Your eyes fall on him in surprise, taking in his dishevelled state. His hair has been brushed back from his head as if he’d wrung his hands through them a hundred times, which you think he might’ve and his skin is slick with sweat. The look in his eyes is wild and panicked.
“Where is he?”
“In his room,” Changbin says, pressing a hand to your back. Minho doesn’t notice you, and you don’t blame him. “Chan and Hyunjin are with him.”
Minho is down the hall in seconds.
“Don’t worry,” you hear Changbin say distantly. “Minho will take good care of him. Hyunjin and Chan too.”
Jeongin is the next to come home. He’s considerably less panicked than Minho but there’s still concern clear in his eyes.
He comes and sits with you and Changbin.
Jeongin starts whispering to Changbin, voice low, as you sit there, staring at the hallway. You hear their conversation all the same.
“How could we forget?” Jeongin asks, shaking his head.
Changbin sighs. “I don’t know,” he says. “Han must’ve been feeling the symptoms too… why didn’t he say anything?”
You hug yourself tighter.
You know why he hadn’t and it’s a truth clearly no one wants to admit — because of you.
Because everything had been about you.
He must’ve felt… unimportant. Ignored. And it was all your fault.
Seungmin and Felix get home twenty minutes later. When Felix sees you, you know immediately he’s torn. As another omega, there isn’t much he can do to help Han’s heat but it’s clear he wants to check in on him. You know the two are close. But you can also tell he doesn’t want to leave you.
You just shake your head. “It’s okay,” you say softly, attempting a smile. “You should check on him.”
And Felix does, eventually. It takes one more nod from you and Hyunjin calling for him from Han’s room before he finally does.
You watch him disappear through the door, wanting nothing more than to be able to help Han too. But you know that’ll just cause more damage in the end — Han, after all, was suffering because of you.
Han’s heat lasts six days.
Minho never leaves his room once. The others take turns. Sometimes you see Felix going in with some water and food, you assume for Minho.
You don’t go in once.
Felix offers to go in with you, you tell him it’s better you don’t. Hyunjin asks if you’re afraid, you shake your head no because you’re not afraid of what he thinks you are.
You’re afraid of upsetting Han more.
All the members at one point try to get you to come in. Not force you, not make you uncomfortable, but explain that Han, in between the rushes of heat, has been asking for you. Been worried about you. You deny them each time, convinced they’re just saying that to make you feel better.
And if Han is calling for you, it’s not in the way they think.
Then, Minho finally comes out. He looks tired, bags under his eyes, but there’s a glow to him as well.
He looks beautiful.
He heads straight for you.
Stopping right in front of you, hand held out, Minho meets your eyes. “Come on, kitten.”
And you stare back at him, blinking, unsure.
“It’s not what you think,” Minho says when you don’t make a move. He says the words like he already knows what you’re thinking. “Just come. Please?”
So, you do. You set your hand in Minho’s and let him lead you towards Han’s room.
The room smells of sex and sweat, it’s warm when you walk inside, and Han is in his nest, already looking at you.
Your eyes meet his, his tired, worn out eyes and watch the way his gaze lights up, a smile curling on his lips at the sight of you. “Y/Nnie,” he calls, lazily reaching for you. He makes grabby hands and you stare back at him in surprise. “I missed you.”
You’re confused.
You turn back to look at Minho, but he’s slipping out of the room, sending you a small smile before shutting the door behind him.
Leaving you alone with Han.
“Y/Nnie,” Han whines again, voice cracking with exhaustion. “Come here.”
You do. Still confused, you make your way over to him. The second you’re within reach, Han is grabbing you, pulling you on the bed with surprising strength for an omega who just endured a heat. He pulls you into him, wrapping his arms around you tightly.
“I missed you,” he says again, voice now a low whisper. “You didn’t come visit me.”
You blink back at him. “I didn’t think you’d want me to.”
That catches Han’s attention. Brows furrowing, he pulls back to look at you. “What?” He asks, shaking his head. “Why?”
You hesitate, staring back at him. You press your hands against his chest, and let the smell of him, warm and at ease calm you down. You let your eyes trail across his figure, taking in that outside of his exhaustion, he looks happy. Whenever you had your heats, you came out the other side exhausted and a little more broken each time.
Broken because you’d spent it alone. And the times you weren’t alone, Seojun had just used you for his own pleasure.
But Han looks at peace. You’ve no doubt that the pack had taken great care of him.
“Y/N?” Han calls when you’ve fallen silent for a moment, reaching up to brush his fingers across your cheek.
You swallow thickly. “I just… well, it’s my fault no one remembered that your heat was coming up.”
Han sits up at that. “How is it your fault?”
“They were all so busy with me,” you say, face pinching in guilt, lowering your gaze. “I mean, I came in and just… ruined everything. I can only imagine how that made you feel. Why else would you have not told anyone your heat was coming?”
Han grabs your hands, grip firm and pulls your eyes on him.
“None of that is true,” he says, voice steady. “I even forgot my heat was coming up. And yeah, it’s because a lot has happened but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault. And the reason why I didn’t say anything was because I was more concerned with reaching this deadline for our client and thought that I could push my heat off.”
You blink at him, shoulders easing with hope; “it wasn’t because I made you feel unimportant?”
“No,” Han says, voice sincere. He squeezes your hands. “Never. In fact, I was trying to get everything done for this client quickly so we could have our date. But the client kept pushing up the deadlines. And I was being stupid, not listening to my body.”
Your lips part; “for our date?”
“Yeah,” he laughs, flushing lightly. “I was excited but Chan said I had to help him and Changbin first… As if he didn’t take a whole day off for your guys’ date.” He rolls his eyes, scoffing.
You giggle at that, eased, shaking your head. “If it makes you feel better, I’m looking forward to our date too.”
“Yeah?” Han smiles, “even though we have to stay here?”
“I don’t mind,” you shrug, threading your fingers through his. “I just want to spend time with you.”
“Well, if that’s the case, wanna have our date now?”
“Now?” You echo, blinking, confused. “Aren’t you tired?”
“A little,” he brushes off. “But my idea for our date was going to be a movie date anyways, so why not? We can cuddle and watch Studio Ghibli?”
“Studio Ghibli?” You echo, tilting your head in confusion.
Han gasps. “You’ve never heard of it?”
You shake your head.
“Oh, we have to have our date now then.” He says, practically bouncing with excitement. You watch him, amazed that he still has any energy at all. “There’s so many I need to show you. We’ll start with Howl’s Moving Castle, because duh, it’s the best. If you’re cool with that?”
Smiling, you nod; “I’m happy with whatever.”
Han grins, moving to stand up and grab his laptop.
“What about the others?” You ask, glancing at his door. “Should we tell them?”
“I already told Lino I’d be hogging you for the night,” Han laughs, turning back to you, laptop in hand. “And if they try to bother us, I’ll just kick them out. And they have to do what I say because I’ve just gone through my heat.”
Laughing, you let yourself fall back into his nest.
Three movies later and it’s getting hard to keep your eyes open.
You’re surprised Han hasn’t fallen asleep, you figure it’s his strong love for the movies that helps him stay awake, though you don’t blame him. The movies are good. But as the credits roll for the third movie, your limit is reached.
“Ready for bed?”
Turning to Han, you hum; “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Han shakes his head. “We just binged three movies. That’s a lot, baby.”
You smile lazily at that. “I enjoyed them. Thank you for showing them to me.”
Brushing your hair from your eyes, Han smiles that gummy smile you love. “Of course, baby,” he coos, “I’m glad you liked them.”
He moves to lay next to you, the both of you bundled in his nest, limbs wrapped up with each other.
You meet his eyes, and his twinkle with something desperate.
“Can I?”
You already know what he’s asking. Can see it in his eyes, the way he looks at you, the way his gaze drifts to your neck.
“Of course,” you whisper into the silence.
And so he does. Claims you right next to Chan’s. You claim him next to Seungmin’s.
When it’s done, Han’s smile is tired but pleased. He falls into his nest with a wistful sigh and pulls you closer, clinging onto you. You happily let him, enjoying the feeling.
“I’m sorry I made you worry,” he says a moment later. “Please know that none of it is true. I’m so happy we found you.”
You squeeze him closer; “I’m happy I found you too.”
“I get in my head like that too,” Han whispers, staring up at his ceiling. “It doesn’t have to be me you talk to, but any one of the boys are great listeners. They’ve really helped me with my anxiety.”
Setting your head on his chest, you stare up at him. “I remember you saying you take meds for it.”
Han nods. “Yeah. It was Minho’s idea. When I was younger, I was really rebellious. Used to lash out at everyone for everything.” Han hesitates a moment, almost looking ashamed. “I was just so nervous all the time that I tried to pretend I was more confident than I actually was. But really I was just a huge asshole. It used to get me in trouble a lot too. Hyunjin and I used to argue all the time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “I challenged him on everything. It got pretty ugly sometimes. Then Minho finally had enough. Got to the root of the problem. Him and Chan took me to Doctor Yoon and that’s been really helping.”
He finally meets your gaze. “I’m not saying you need meds or anything,” he laughs lightly. “Just that… you can talk to us. Any of us. They dealt with me, and I was awful. They’ll understand, I promise.”
“They love you,” you whisper, smiling softly. “It wasn’t ‘dealing’ with you, it was… just wanting to help you.”
“I was still pretty awful though.”
You let out a quiet laugh. “I’ll think about it,” you promise. “I don’t really know what it is yet.”
Han hums lightly. “Take all the time you need. We’ll be here for you every step of the way.”
You and Han fall asleep shortly after that, wrapped in each other's arms, feeling more eased than you have in days.
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Even though you were happier than you’d been in a long time, you couldn’t sleep that night.
As you lay in bed, staring at your ceiling, you find yourself too restless to sleep. Your body is a bundle of excitement. You think fondly of the day you’d just shared with Chan, of the mark now resting on your neck, and lastly, of the seven more dates you had to look forward to.
Eventually, an hour later, you give up. With a restless sigh, you crawl out of your nest, figuring you’ll maybe grab a glass of water and see if that’ll help your restless body calm somewhat.
You’re careful to stay quiet as you make your way down the hall and into the kitchen. You don’t want to wake anyone up, especially not Seungmin who is right next to your bedroom as you know he has an early morning class.
The cold water feels nice down the back of your throat, and for a moment, you let yourself bask in the silence.
You think of the way your life has drastically changed in the last few days. From being in a relationship with a man that felt more like an ownership, to being surrounded by eight men who showed you nothing but complete love and care.
You never thought you’d be so lucky.
“Everything alright, kitten?”
Jumping at the voice, you spin round to find Minho standing at the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room. He’s leant against the archway, arms crossed over his chest with a gentle smile on his face as he regards you, telling you he’d been watching you for at least a few moments.
You flush; “did I wake you?”
Minho shrugs, “I was awake already,” he says, stepping into the kitchen. “Heard you get out of bed so I figured I’d come and make sure you’re alright.”
“I’m okay,” you assure with a soft smile. “I just couldn’t sleep.”
Tilting his head, Minho frowns; “is it your nest again?”
“No,” you shake your head. “I was just feeling restless. I thought some water might help.” You explain, shrugging. Then, pausing in thought, you turn to Minho; “is Hannie still asleep? I didn’t wake him up I hope?”
Minho chuckles lightly at that. “Han’s sleeping in his own room tonight.”
“Oh.”
“He’s gotta be up early,” Minho explains, making his way over to you as he grabs the still half-full glass of water. “Him, Chan and Changbin will be at the studio early tomorrow since Felix has kicked us all out. Here, drink.”
He tilts the glass towards you and you part your lips, obediently sipping the rest of the water and watching as he sets the now empty glass in the sink.
Minho seems to catch the look on your face and smiles. “He feels bad because I’m a light sleeper,” he says. “Doesn’t want to wake me up. When I told him that I had to be up early too, he just shook his head and assured me he'd be okay. I guess five in the morning is different from eight.”
The smile on Minho’s face is fond. “You and Hannie are really close, huh?”
Lips parting, Minho blinks. “Oh, yeah, we are,” he says, obviously surprised by the comment. “It’s always been like that. All the members are important to me, but for a while it was just Jisung and I.”
You smile; “I think that’s sweet,” you say, truly meaning it. “The bond you two have is special.”
“That’s very sweet of you,” Minho compliments, brushing hair back from your face and tucking it behind your ear. Then, he lets his hand fall, and holds it towards you. “Come on then.”
Lips parting, you blink; “hm?”
“Let’s sleep.”
“Oh,” you say, surprised. “You don’t have to! You said it yourself, you have to be up early—”
“And I’ll sleep better with you,” Minho cuts in, smirking. Then, catching your gaze, he seems to think better. “As long as you’re okay with it? If you’re uncomfortable, it’s all good.”
Stepping forward, you slip your hand into his. “No, I’d like to,” you assure, voice soft. “I think it’ll help me sleep too.”
Minho grins; “perfect.”
Felix comes knocking on Minho’s door at ten in the morning sharp. It wakes you up, blinking the sleep from your face as you turn to find Minho already gone. You remember him saying that he had to be up at eight, but you feel bad for not being able to say bye.
Rubbing your eyes, you slip out of his bed, making your way over to the door.
You have the passing thought that maybe Felix will be somewhat bummed out he couldn’t take you out somewhere for a date, especially since the boy seemed to be extroverted and naturally more outgoing. Versus Han, for example, whose date would also have to take place at home but seemed naturally at ease in the comfort of his own space.
You’d expect that Felix would ideally want to do something more fun, more adventurous, surrounded by others. Not stuck at home with just you.
And yet, when you open Minho’s door, Felix is all smiles.
“Good morning, sunshine,” Felix beams, his smile genuine but there’s a hint of teasing in his eyes. “Looks like you had a good night's rest.”
You feel your cheeks warm, hands moving to brush down what you’re sure is a hot mess on your head. Felix just steps forward, taking your hand in his lightly and presses a kiss to your forehead.
“You look adorable,” he says, “I like your bedhead.”
“I’m sure I look a mess,” you pout.
“Impossible,” he grins.
Rolling your eyes, you give up.
“I’ve kicked everyone out of the house for our date,” Felix explains. “It’s just us but I’m sure Channie or Lino will check in periodically. Worry watts, the both of them,” Felix huffs, but the smile on his face remains affectionate. He slips his hand from your wrist to thread his fingers through yours and starts to pull you towards the kitchen. “Nonetheless, it’s just us. Let me show you what's on the agenda for the day!”
Your eyes widen as you stumble to catch up with him; “w-wait, Felix! At least let me change and brush my teeth.”
“No need to,” Felix shakes his head, continuing to pull you towards the kitchen. “You already look beautiful.”
“Felix!”
It’s useless. Felix clearly isn’t in the mood to listen, too riled up with excitement as he walks with a bounce in his step. Half a second later and you give up, letting your arm slack in his grip as you let him drag you down the hallway.
The second the two of you turn into the kitchen, however, your eyes widen. The usually organized and tidied kitchen has been lined with bowls, whisks, and an overwhelming amount of baking ingredients. There is not a single space of counter left where there isn’t an ingredient or baking utensil covering it.
Felix grins next to you.
“We’re gonna bake!” He exclaims, as if the kitchen wasn’t a clue enough. “My specialty is brownies, but we’ll bake cookies and maybe even some cupcakes too.”
“Felix,” you mumble, still in disbelief at the kitchen. You’re sure Minho would have a heart attack if he saw this. Maybe he did this morning… “You really didn’t have to.”
Felix just shakes his head. “I was wracking my brain for the past few days since the idea for us to take you all on a date came up, trying to think of what to do. I didn’t know what you enjoyed but I do remember you enjoying my brownies when I made them for you that day… So I thought, why not?”
Meeting his eyes, you hesitate. “I haven’t baked since I was a little girl,” you say. “I might be awful.”
“That’s okay,” Felix assures, reaching for your hand. “I don’t care if the treats come out good or even edible. I just want to spend time with you.”
You ease at that. “I bet Minho had a heart attack this morning when he saw the kitchen, didn’t he?”
Felix’s smile never wavers. “He most definitely did,” he shrugs. “Which means it’s a good thing he isn’t here today to see us make even bigger of a mess.”
Letting out a giggle, you shake your head.
“What did you want to start with?”
Three hours later and the kitchen is most definitely even more of a chaotic mess. You and Felix aren’t fairing any better. There’s flour everywhere—on the counters, on the floor, on your shirt, in Felix’s hair. Everywhere. It’s stuck to your face too, dusting your eyelashes and cheeks. Most of that, however, had been Felix when he’d decided to take a handful of it and throw it at your face.
Still, you’d manage to bake a few batches of brownies which were heavenly. Your cookies had come out more oval than circle but they were still tasty. The cupcakes were just in the oven now, and you and Felix were in the process of making the frosting.
“Are you usually this messy when baking?” You ask Felix, watching as he whips the whisk in the bowl so the frosting peaks.
“Not always,” he shrugs, “depends on who I’m baking with.”
Grinning at him, you laugh; “I remember that you and Seungmin aren’t allowed to bake together.”
“Oh, yeah,” Felix chuckles. “Minho banned us from ever cooking or baking together after we nearly set the house on fire… Needless to say, it was not my proudest moment.”
You let out a giggle. “I’m sure that was quite the scene.”
“It definitely was.”
You fall silent at that, eyes falling on the bowl as you continue to watch Felix mix the frosting. The past three hours had blown by in seconds. You were having more fun than you’d had in a long time. Whenever you cooked for Seojun, it was always stressful. Everything had to be just perfect, exactly how he wanted, and if it wasn’t, he’d not only make you start again, but feel the repercussions of not getting it right the first time.
Baking with Felix wasn’t like that at all. He embraced the mistakes if anything. When your first batch of brownies had burned, you’d been afraid Felix would be upset or mad. Instead, he’d just laughed and said something about making sure these were the ones the others ate.
Not to mention, he’d made you laugh the entire time. It was difficult to focus on baking when Felix was making your stomach hurt with giggles.
You get lost in your thoughts for a moment, thinking back on the day that you don’t notice Felix’s shit-eating grin. Having noticed you’d gotten lost in your own thoughts, Felix takes full advantage, dipping his finger into the frosting before promptly swiping it across your cheek.
You jump at the touch, blinking in surprise, before you turn to Felix, lips parted.
Felix laughs, finding the expression on your face highly amusing.
And for a split second, you stare back at him, stunned, before you’re making the split decision to dip your own finger in the frosting and wipe it across his chin before he can pull away.
Felix stares back at you, just as stunned, and then… then chaos ensues.
The frosting that Felix had been carefully whipping for the cupcakes turns into a weapon of destruction for the both of you. You and Felix take turns practically throwing the frosting at one another. By the end, the two of you are sticky, covered in pink frosting from head to toe, and breathless with laughter.
“Minho’s going to kill us,” you say, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath.
Felix laughs; “he definitely is.”
The two of you somehow ended up laying on the kitchen floor. It’s probably past mid day by now and you’re sure that some of the pack members will be home soon. Yet, you have no desire to clean your mess. You know you will, but you don’t feel panicked about making sure it’s done any time soon.
Not like you would’ve back with Seojun. In fact, something like this never would’ve happened with him or else you would’ve felt the consequences.
You turn your head, meeting Felix’s eyes.
“Thank you, Felix,” you whisper despite it just being the two of you who are home. “This was amazing.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed making a mess with me.”
Snorting, you nod. “I definitely did.”
The two of you are silent for a moment, just staring at each other, then, Felix asks;
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please.”
Shifting, Felix props himself on his right arm, moving so he’s leaning over you. His touch is gentle, tender as he brushes your hair from your face and cups your cheek. He just stares at you for a moment, letting his eyes meet yours, before he leans forward, pressing his lips against your own.
He’s softer than Chan had been, more tentative. He smiles into the kiss too and you let your fingers run through his pretty blonde hair, pulling him closer.
When he pulls away, the both of you are beaming from ear to ear.
“What the hell happened in here?”
Eyes widening, Felix pulls back, the both of you turning to Jeongin who stands at the entrance. His eyes shift from the absolute mess that is the kitchen, to the both of you, still laying on the floor, covered in frosting.
“I thought you two were baking.”
You and Felix meet each other's eyes.
“We were,” is all Felix says.
“Well, I’d clean this up before Minho or Chan see,” Jeongin snorts. “Or else, I fear you’ll never be allowed to bake again.”
Somehow, you and Felix manage to get it done before anyone else gets home.
As the rest of the pack comes home, you, Felix and Jeongin are the only three who know of the mess. Jeongin promises to keep his mouth shut for a trade of some pastries; so you and Felix make him a container of some brownies and cookies.
Needless to say, the cupcakes were a dud. Not only was there no frosting left to ice them, but they also burnt in the oven given that neither of you had remembered to check on them.
Now, with the sun set, dinner eaten and everyone off doing their own thing, you only have one person in mind.
His door is open as you approach his bedroom, and your eyes find him sitting at his desk chair, looking like he’d just finished a game. You knock lightly on the door.
“Y/N/N,” Felix calls, brightening at the sight of you. “What’s up?”
With a soft, mildly nervous smile, you step into his bedroom. “Am I interrupting you?” You ask.
Felix shakes his head, moving to take off his headset and set down his controller. “Of course not,” he assures, standing up and making his way over to you. Once he reaches you, Felix takes your hand in his and squeezes. “Are you okay?”
You nod, humming lightly. “Yeah, I just… I was wondering if you’d be okay with me sleeping with you tonight?"
Felix’s eyes widen; “of course I don’t mind.” Smiling, he lets his eyes drift across your figure. “I see you’re already in your pajamas. Did you want to go to sleep right away?”
You shrug; “I don’t mind staying up for a while,” you offer. “You can continue gaming if you’d like.”
“You sure?”
“Hmm-mmm.”
“You look sleepy,” Felix smiles.
“I’m okay.”
Pausing, he looks at you for a moment. “Here,” he says, pulling you with him towards his desk. You watch as he sits down in his fancy gaming chair, before setting his hands on your hips. “Sit on my lap.”
Blinking, you hesitate; “are you sure?”
“If you’re okay with it, yes,” he nods, tugging you towards him. You let him move you so you’re sitting in his lap, legs on either side of him, resting on the chair. You fit comfortably, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and let your head fall into the crook of his neck.
Felix wraps his arms around your waist, grabbing his controller.
“This way you can sleep but I’m still with you.”
You smile even though Felix can’t see you. “Thank you, Lixie.”
“You’re welcome, sunshine.”
The two of you stay like this for a while. You’re happy just to be with him, absentmindedly playing with his hair as the sounds of his game continue on in the background. You find yourself smiling when, just as Chan had said, Felix’s accent bleeds in stronger when he gets particularly invested in his game.
About an hour and a half later, Felix turns it off.
“You’re my good luck charm, sunshine,” he says, squeezing your hips as you lean back to meet his eyes. “I did better with you here.”
You grin sleepily.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
You shake your head the second Felix moves to stand, squeezing his shoulders. “Wait,” you say, voice a whisper.
Felix raises a brow; “hmm?”
“I want your mark.”
That catches his attention. Eyes widening, Felix’s lips part; “really?”
You nod, “yes.”
“Are you sure?” He asks, meeting your gaze, as if trying to see if you’re awake enough to know exactly what it is you’re asking.
“I am,” you nod, “you’ve made me so happy today, Lixie. And you were one of the first I felt truly comfortable around. I want your mark.”
Rubbing your hips, Felix smiles; “that makes me happy to hear, sweetheart.”
“Would you… Would you want to?”
“Of course I do,” Felix assures. “I’d love to claim you, just as I’d love to be claimed by you.” You smile at that, happy, but then he hesitates for a moment. “I just need to be a hundred percent sure you’re okay with this. This is a big step. And there’s no obligation either way.”
“I’m sure,” you say, pulling him closer. “I promise.”
“Okay then, sunny, let’s do it.”
Shifting in his lap, you press yourself against him, wanting to be as close as possible. Felix, in return, wraps an arm around your waist and braces your back with his other hand. “You bite me first, Y/N/N.”
Humming in agreement, you do as he says. First, you let your eyes drift across the seven bite marks already across his neck; similar to how you had with Chan. You drag your fingers across them each slowly, feeling the bite marks, and smile softly to yourself. When your fingers drag across the last mark, you zone on the bare spot on his left side where only three marks rest.
Then, leaning forward, you part your lips, before slowly biting down. You don’t stop until you feel your teeth sink in, feeling the way Felix’s hands shift against you.
Felix lets out a soft moan at your bite, leaning into your touch. You let your eyes flutter shut, basking in the moment, before slowly, you pull away, blood pooling on the edge of your lips.
With lidded eyes, Felix smiles at you, using his thumb to brush the blood away.
“You did great, sunny,” he coos, and you beam at the praise. “My turn.”
Nodding, you let him cup your neck with both hands, turning your head to the right first, finding the mark Chan had left, right over where Seojun had tried to forcefully claim you before he turns your head to the left. You smile softly at that, baring your neck further, a shiver crawling down the back of your spine when you feel him press a kiss against the bare and sensitive skin first.
He’s gentle. Slow. Careful.
You feel his teeth graze the side of your neck faintly before he sinks down. Similarly to Chan, it pinches at first, a soft gasp escaping your lips, before a warmth floods through you, easing the pain.
He holds for longer than Chan had, holding you close, skin to skin practically and almost sucking, as if reveling in the moment. He moans against your neck, breath hot and warm against the skin, before slowly pulling away.
When you pull back to meet his eyes, the look on his face is downright love sick.
Felix just looks at you for a moment, almost lost in you, before he leans forward and presses another gentle kiss to your lips.
“That was perfect, sweetheart.”
You smile against his lips; “yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Pressing your face into the crook of his neck, you wrap your arms around him.
“I’m glad.”
“You wanna sleep now, bunny?” Felix asks, rubbing your back. You nod against his neck, and then Felix is standing, bracing you against him as he carries you the short walk over to his bed. He sets you down first, bundling you in his nest, before crawling in right after you.
“Get some rest,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Swallowing thickly, you glance at Chan who’s standing beside you looking all too pleased with himself. There’s an admittedly smug grin on his face as he stares back at the rest of the pack, which is the very opposite of you — with very obvious heat in your cheeks and desperately trying to avoid the heavy gazes of your pack.
Hands shoved into his pockets, Chan tilts his head; “what’s there to explain?”
“Yah!” Han calls, voice pitching as he points an extremely accusatory finger right at Chan. “How about you marking Y/N/N?”
Changbin is quick to back him up; “yeah! Who said you got to claim her first?”
“I’m the pack leader,” Chan reminds, quirking a brow at the two. “Obviously, I’d be the first to claim her.”
“I call dibs on second!” Felix calls, poking his head past the shoulder of Seungmin and Minho who are standing in front of him. He looks entirely unpressed about the situation, and turns to meet your eyes with a wide, warm smile.
You flush heavier.
“We’re not calling dibs,” Minho reminds, though the smile on his face is fond as he looks back at the omega.
“Yeah,” Seungmin snorts, “because Felix definitely isn’t claiming her second—”
“Oi!”
“—It’ll be me.”
“Woah,” Hyunjin pipes up, turning to look at his fellow beta with a surprised look. “It’s not normal for you to get all territorial on us, Seungmin.”
Seungmin just smiles; “what can I say? Y/N brings that side out of me.”
You could not be more mortified.
“Okay, okay,” Chan calls, unable to hide the laugh in his voice as he glances down at you. He sends you a reassuring smile, silently assuring you the boys are just teasing you, before turning back to the pack. “Minho is right. No one is calling dibs—”
“You’re only saying that because you already claimed her,” Han pouts.
Jeongin lets out a barking laugh in response.
Chan just sends the two a look. “No one is calling dibs,” he reaffirms, making it clear in his tone he means it. “That is completely up to Y/N. When and who she wants to claim her will be entirely up to her.”
Stepping forward, you wring your hands together; “I really wasn’t trying to choose favourites or—”
“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Changbin assures, cutting you off gently with a grin and a shake of his head. “We’re just teasing. If anything, we’re happy you trust Channie enough to claim you.”
“And we’ll all patiently wait our turn,” Minho calls out.
There’s a chorus of nods.
“Even if it takes a while?” You ask.
“Even if it takes a while, kitten,” Minho affirms.
You smile, eased.
“Now that that’s over and done with,” Chan sits forward. “We’d actually like to run something by you, Y/N.”
Turning to Chan, you raise a curious brow.
“How would you feel about going on a date with each of us?”
Lips parting, your eyes widen at Chan’s words. He says it with a warm smile and curious eyes, patiently waiting for your response as you let your eyes drift across the rest of the pack. You’re met with excited eyes and loving smiles.
“I’d like that,” you say after a moment, turning back to Chan and nodding. “I’d go with you each alone or…?”
“Yeah,” Chan nods. “We considered doing it in pairs, but I think it’s important that you are given a chance to bond with everyone individually, away from the others. That way too, no one feels left out.”
Changbin sits forward at that. “That of course means your date with Han and Felix will have to be spent in the house or the backyard,” he reminds. “I realize it’s not ideal, but…”
“I don’t mind,” you assure, turning to look at the other omegas. “As long as it doesn’t bother them.”
Felix grins; “not at all. I already have an idea in mind.”
“It’s cool with me too,” Han assures, meeting your eyes with a wide, gummy smile. “I prefer staying indoors anyways.”
Worries eased at their reassurances, you turn back to the rest. “So, how do we decide the order?”
You only ask because given the conversation that’s already happened today, you figure the boys will have… strong opinions about the order in which they get to take you out. You’re also hoping that they won’t leave that decision up to you.
You certainly don’t regret asking Chan to claim you, but you do feel bad that it may have hurt the other boys’ feelings. They’ve now assured you it hadn’t, but still — you did not want that decision to be left up to you.
“Already done,” Hyunjin explains, holding a… cut straw in his hands. “We decided to let the straws decide our fate.”
Brows furrowing, you tilt your head in confusion.
“Whoever pulled the shortest straw gets to take you first,” Minho explains upon seeing your face. “And then it goes in order by size.”
Your lips form an ‘o’ in understanding.
“And I won,” Chan calls next to you, turning to you with a wide grin as he proudly presents the shortest straw.
You bite your lip, fighting back a smile.
How’d he manage that one?
“Which I’m even more pissed off about now that I know he claimed you first too,” Han pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.
Minho just snorts from beside the omega; “would you like me to take you out for a date then, jagi?” He coos, teasing the younger boy as he ruffles his hair. Han’s cheeks burn red at the touch and he swats Minho’s hands away as everyone else laughs.
“Hyung,” he whines, voice pitching. “Don’t embarrass me.”
Minho just blinks back at him, “I’m not embarrassing you. You love when I take you out for dates.”
“Yah!” Han calls, pushing him away. “I don’t want to go on a date with you, I want to take Y/N for one.”
You flush, eyes widening; “o-of course not! I was just curious!”
“I’m teasing you, sweetheart,” Chan eases, squeezing your shoulder. “Felix is second.”
Said omega steps forward at his name, turning to you with a bright smile and twinkling eyes. “It’s gonna be a blast,” he tells you, voice pitching in his excitement. “I can’t wait!”
You mimic his smile, nodding. You were excited too.
“As Seungmin said, Hannie is third,” Chan continues, gesturing over to the other omega. You catch Han’s waiting gaze and smile brightly at him, which of course prompts a pretty red hue to dust across his cheeks.
“I pulled fourth,” Seungmin says, smirking at the four last boys who’ve yet to say their order, obviously pleased he’d pulled in the first half rather than the latter.
“Fifth,” Minho nods, before meeting your gaze. “I look forward to it, kitten.”
You glance at your feet, cheeks warm.
“I'm sixth, bambi,” Hyunjin calls, still holding the popsicle stick in view.
“I’m seventh,” Changbin smiles at you.
“And I’m last,” Jeongin finally says, meeting your eyes. “But don’t worry, I’ll make your last date the best date.”
You let out a soft giggle at that as the rest of the boys groan.
“I’m looking forward to all of them,” you say earnestly, smiling at each and everyone one of the boys. “Seriously. I cannot thank you guys enough for taking time out of your schedules.”
“You say that as if it’s a hassle for us,” Seungmin shakes his head.
“Trust me,” Jeongin adds on. “It’s definitely not.”
That makes your stomach all fluttery, flattered by their kind words.
“I’d like our date to be later today, if that’s okay with you?” Chan asks.
You nod at him; “of course. Just let me find something cute to wear.”
When you’d asked Chan what you should wear for your date, he’d assured you you’d looked great in anything.
The only suggestion he had was to wear comfortable shoes.
So, dressed in some jeans and a nice blouse, you pick the cute sandals Jeongin had helped you pick out. They had a good sole and wouldn’t give you blisters but were also cute. A perfect match.
Just as you finish slipping them on, a knock resounds on your door.
Smiling, you make your way over to your door, opening it to find just who you expected.
Chan, dressed in different clothes than he’d had this morning, is wearing a nice pair of loose dark jeans, a black tank top and a white button-up draped over it. The button-up has flower details sown into it. The first thought that comes to mind, which usually does for any of these boys, is that he looks handsome.
The thought makes your cheeks warm, still not used to the fluttering feelings that these eight boys make you feel.
“You look beautiful,” Chan smiles, letting his eyes drift across your outfit before settling on the mark bite proudly shown on your neck. You’d been specific when picking your blouse, not wanting Chan to think you were attempting to hide it in any way.
Besides, you were proud to show it off too. When you were with Seojun, the thought of a claim mark scared you. But now, with Chan or any of the boys, it excites you. Made you feel warm and loved. The thought of any of them claiming you, you claiming them in return, being a part of the pack… it was the best feeling there was.
“Thank you,” you smile, looking up at him through your lashes. “You look great too.”
And with a cheesy little bow, Chan grins; “why, thank you.”
You let out a giggle that makes Chan beam even wider.
“You ready?” He asks, straightening himself out. You nod in response and then he’s extending his hand out for you to take. A shy smile curls on your lips as you do, letting him lead you down the hall and towards the front door. You pass by Changbin who sends you a cheeky wink and a slap to Chan’s back, but soon after that, the two of you are making your way out. You expect Chan to lead you to his car, but he simply walks past it, never letting his hand leave yours as he leads you down the long driveway and to the sidewalk.
“Where are we going?” You ask, glancing around curiously.
“I figured you wouldn’t want to do anything crazy,” Chan hums, squeezing your hand. “I know all of this has already been a lot to adjust to, so I thought I’d keep it simple. There’s a beautiful park just five minutes down the road, so I thought we’d take a stroll through it. Maybe stop for ice cream.”
Turning to Chan, you smile. “That sounds lovely, Chan.”
And so that’s what the two of you do. Never letting go of your hand, the two of you make your way through the park, walking at a slow, calm pace. Your conversation is light, easy, and you find you like the way Chan effortlessly fills in the silence. You don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable at all; in fact, you’re perfectly at ease.
You’d been initially nervous about these dates. Both because of being with the boys but also because there was a high chance that six out of eight of them would be spent outdoors in public. You’re still not used to being out in large crowds and although you felt safe around the boys, there was always the nagging thought that Seojun could be somewhere, around the corner, lurking.
And you never wanted to see Seojun again.
But the thought never once occurs to you. You’re solely focused on Chan, happily chatting away with him, your hand warm and safe in his.
An hour later, the two of you are sitting on a bench, ice cream in hand.
“I still can’t believe you chose pineapple flavoured ice cream,” Chan hums, eyeing your cone with mild judgement.
You laugh lightly; “not a fan?”
“I like pineapple,” he shrugs, “just in the right spaces.”
That makes you smile. “And what would the right spaces be?”
“On its own.”
“Not even on pizza?”
Chan’s face blanches. “Absolutely not.”
You snort; “such strong opinions regarding pineapple." Letting your eyes lower onto his own cone, you raise a brow. “At least I didn’t choose vanilla of all flavours.”
Chan frowns, looking mildly insulted. “What’s wrong with vanilla?”
“Nothing,” you shrug, “other than it’s boring.”
Chan’s lips part, jaw falling as he gapes at you in disbelief. You giggle in response, loudly. And as he watches you giggle, the surprise fades from Chan’s face, his own lips softening into a smile at the sight of you so carefree.
You catch his gaze. “What?”
“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “It’s just… nice.”
“Nice?”
“Seeing you so happy.”
Your cheeks warm at that, looking down at your lap with a shy smile.
“I haven’t felt this happy in a long time,” you admit, the words leaving your lips before you even realize you’ve said them. You don’t regret them, though. It was the truth. You may have only known these eight boys for a few days, but there was an undeniable connection. It was both because of them being your fated soulmates and just because all eight of them, in their own way, had been understanding, compassionate and kind to you in ways you hadn’t experienced in a long, long time.
Part of you sometimes wondered if you were trusting them too easily, but you always push the thought aside. It didn’t matter if it was a day or a year, you knew none of these boys would ever hurt you.
Not like Seojun ever had.
“Yeah?” Chan gently prompts, leaning towards you. He brushes your hair behind your ear, touch gentle, and smiles when you meet his eyes.
“Yeah,” you nod, your voice coming out as a whisper. “I seriously cannot thank you enough. All of you. But especially you, Chan, for finding me that day and bringing me back with you. Even when I pushed you away, even when I was too afraid to realize you all were my fated soulmates.”
“That’s never something you need to thank me for,” Chan shakes his head. “Any of us. We’re yours just as much as you’re ours. I’d do anything for you.”
Swallowing thickly, you lean into his touch. “I’ve never met another alpha like you.”
Chan pauses at that; “what do you mean?”
“I mean…” And you hesitate, voice trailing. You try to gather your thoughts, try to make sense of them. “It’s not just Seojun… in school, when my classmates start presenting, those who presented as alphas, they…— It got worse, too, when I presented as an omega. This assumption that because of our sub-genders, it meant I had to submit to them.
“I know it won’t make sense to you,” you sigh. “But you’ve never made me feel that way. Minho, Changbin and Jeongin too. I’ve… never felt inferior to any of you.”
Chan nods, humming lightly. “I don’t know what that feels like,” he agrees, sympathetic to your situation and the differences in your sub-genders. You appreciate the honesty. Seojun, before things turned bad, tried to act like what he experienced as an alpha was just as bad as what you experienced as an omega.
You didn’t doubt alphas could suffer, you didn’t doubt that there were pressures for them too, but they weren’t the same. Not when alphas were naturally in a position of power, especially over omegas.
“But Han and Felix have explained it to me before. Or, at least, tried to,” he admonishes. “I don’t understand, but I know. Minho, Changbin and Jeongin too. And please, if any of us ever make you feel inferior or-or… well, please, tell us. I’d never want to make you feel that way.”
You nod, “I know, Channie.”
He smiles at that, eased.
Your gaze drifts, and your lips part when you see the ice cream cone in his hands. “The ice cream is dripping all over your hands.”
Chan glances at his hand, then back at you, laughing. “You too,” he comments, taking the napkins he’d grabbed from the stand and using it to wipe your hands. “We should probably eat them before it’s completely gone.”
You hum in agreement, taking a lick of your ice cream cone. The pineapple flavour is sweet, sweeter than you remember it being.
“I used to have this when I was a little girl,” you comment, taking another lick. “It was my moms favourite dessert, so when we had money for a treat, we’d get pineapple ice cream. It’s a lot sweeter than I remember it being.”
Chan turns to you, licking his own ice cream cone. “When’s the last time you had it?”
“Probably before she died,” you comment, staring at the cone for a moment. Then, turning to Chan, your smile is somewhat sad. “It was too painful to have it after she passed away. When I was with Seojun, I wasn’t allowed it. I wasn’t allowed treats at all, really.”
That causes Chan to frown.
You’re quick to shake your head. “Sorry,” you rush, feeling guilty you’d brought the mood down. “Let’s talk about something happier.”
“I don’t mind,” Chan assures, reaching forward and wiping at the corner of your mouth. You flush when you realize you’d had ice cream there, but Chan does it so naturally, it’s hardly even a thought in his mind. “If it helps you, I’m always here to listen.”
You take another lick of your ice cream. “I want this date to be filled with happy memories,” you say, smiling at him. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just want my first date with you to be joyful.”
Chan’s ears turn red at that. “That’s more than okay with me.”
“Tell me more about the pack,” you ask, perking up. “Like… how did you all meet?”
Chan inhales sharply, almost as if lost in thought for a minute. “Woah… It feels so long ago,” he breathes, smiling wistfully. You grin at the sight, leaning forward. “I knew Felix first,” Chan starts, turning back to you. “We both grew up in Australia, so we’ve known each other since we were young and were still a part of our parents packs.”
Your lips part that; “that explains the Australian accent that bleeds in occasionally.”
Chan laughs; “Felix’s’comes through stronger when he’s gaming,” he teases. “When I decided to move, Felix came with. We’d already discovered we were fated soulmates at that point and had no intention of being apart from each other. When we moved here, we met Han, who was just starting as a freelancing producer. Han had already met Minho through a student that Minho was teaching, and the two were two peas in a pod let me tell you.”
You grin at that; “the two do seem really close.”
Chan nods, “definitely.” Taking another lick of his ice cream, Chan pauses in thought for a moment. “We met Changbin shortly after. It had something to do with producing, since Han and I had already started to work together. A week or two later, Changbin brought Hyunjin around. He said he waited because he wanted to make sure we really were his fated soulmates.
“Seungmin and Jeongin might’ve been the last to join the pack, but their arrival was just what we needed. We were going through… a rough patch at the time. Seugmin and Jeonin really helped us connect as a proper pack.”
Meeting your eyes, Chan smiles. “It was just the eight of us for a while, but we’d always known there was a part of us missing.” Taking your hand in his own, Chan squeezes. “And now we’re complete.”
It was nice to know a little bit more about how the whole pack had met. Sometimes, you did feel like an outsider encroaching on them, even if they’d never made you feel that way. It was just your own insecurities speaking. Learning more about the pack helped you feel better connected to them.
“That’s so sweet,” you coo, “I’m glad I found you guys too.”
Chan and you finish your ice creams, chatting happily amongst each other. Chan tells you more about the pack, like how Felix likes to game but is ironically bad at it. He tells you how Seungmin likes to tease the members but is really one of the kindest ones. How Hyunjin struggles to express himself sometimes, which is why painting is so important to him; an outlet to express himself when he can’t find the words.
How Jeongin was still quite nervous about living up to his subgender and disappointing everyone, but Chan thinks he’s doing an amazing job. How Minho loved cats (which explained the ‘kitten’ nickname) and had three cats that lived at home with his parents (who couldn’t stay with them because Changbin, Hyunjin and Seungmin were allergic). How Han was an amazing lyricist and had written songs Chan called ‘the most beautiful songs he’s ever heard’.
And when you ask about him, Chan just shrugs;
“I’m just me.”
It makes you frown, concerned that he seemed to have nothing special to say about himself. You don’t push it, seeing how happy talking about the others makes him. But, in the back of your mind, you make a mental note to yourself to show Chan just how special he is.
It’s late by the time you start heading back home.
Chan and you pause right in front of the door.
“I had a great time,” you tell him, meaning it with every fiber of your being.
“Yeah?” Chan smiles, still holding onto your hand.
“Yeah,” you nod, “thank you for an amazing first date, Channie.”
He finishes the night with a gentle kiss against your lips. Sweet and simple but it makes your heart flutter all the same.
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
It’s early. You can tell by the way the sun shines through the window and casts a yellow halo over Felix. The sight brings a smile to your face, noticing how the omega’s face is buried in the crook of your neck with one leg slouched over you. Han, on your other side, is sprawled in a similar position.
There’s an arm stretched over all three of you. Jeongin’s. The arm over Han’s waist is Minho’s, who’s then being cuddled by Seungmin with a hand clutched tightly around the alpha’s leg. Hyunjin’s got a koala grip on Felix, clinging to his back and Changbin’s foot is dangerously near Hyunjin’s face where he sleeps sprawled in the other direction.
The sight is domestic, a little silly and absolutely warms your heart.
The only one not there is Chan. The realization causes you to frown.
The last thing you remember from the day before is crying so hard you’d passed out. You distantly remember Jeongin cooing at you as Felix and Han clung to you like a second skin. Somewhere along the way your eyes had been red and puffy from crying and sleep had come naturally.
Detangling yourself from the overly large cuddle pile is more difficult than you expected, especially since you seem to be the center of it. You’re careful to pull yourself from Han and Felix’s arms without waking either of them, propping a pillow under Felix’s head when it slips off your shoulders. Jeongin stirs but is clearly a heavy sleeper and simply cuddles into Seungmin instead.
Han and Felix naturally find each other and the two wrap themselves into each other's embrace unconsciously. Everyone else just sort of naturally follows.
The sight melts your heart.
You almost regret leaving. But the lack of Chan is too present to ignore.
With soft steps, you maneuver your way out of the living room and down the hall. You’re still learning the layout of this far too large home and you still get lost turning corners without one of the boys to guide you. You know Chan isn’t in the kitchen cause his scent lingers the opposite way, so you figure he’s probably in his room.
You still haven’t been in all of the boys' rooms. In fact, the only one you’ve fully been in is Felix’s when you slept there the first night. You’d been in Hyunjin’s and Seungmin’s when you’d asked them to scent things for your nest, but you haven’t been in any of the others.
Chan’s scent leads you to the room at the far end of the hall. The last door.
You hesitate knocking.
Chan sits up straighter at the smell of your scent.
It’s close. Really close and getting closer.
He pauses, looking at his phone to check the time and seeing it was only five in the morning. He wasn’t expecting any of the boys or you to be up anytime soon. His entire pack was a bunch of heavy sleepers; and although some were early risers like Seungmin or Minho, five in the morning was still too early for them.
Especially after an emotional day like yesterday.
He didn’t know whether you were a morning person or not. The past two days had been you waking up as a result of the others. Chan had assumed today would be no different, especially wrapped up in a cuddle pile like that.
But now you’re standing right outside his door.
He hesitates for a moment, listening. He waits for you to knock, but when a moment passes and he doesn’t hear anything, he figures you’re unsure if you’re allowed to. The realization pulls a frown to his lips and he stands to his feet, reaching his bedroom door in seconds. When he pulls it open, you’re standing there, eyes still puffy and sleepy, hand hovering in front of you.
“Chan,” you breathe, voice a soft whisper. “Sorry, I… I wasn’t sure—”
“Would you like to come in?” He cuts in gently, stepping back and extending a hand towards his room. He figures it’s best to just invite you in; no better way to reassure you he doesn’t mind than inviting you in.
With one more shy glance his way, you make your way in.
“You weren’t there with everyone else,” you say after you’ve walked in, spinning to face him. “I was concerned.”
Chan’s eyes widen faintly at that, his alpha pleased to hear you were concerned about him. Shutting his door, he turns to you with a smile. “I often get up earlier than the boys,” he explains, walking over to his desk where his laptop, two desktop monitors and the entire set up exists. “I was working on some tracks.”
You wander over, eyes wide and curious. “You, Hannie and Changbin own a producing company. I remember.” You say, keeping your hands to yourself but still eagerly letting your eyes drag across the entire elaborate set up.
Chan laughs. “Yes, 3Racha,” he nods. “We’ve got some deadlines coming up. Thought I’d get a crack at a few of them.”
You meet his eyes then, shy and nervous. “Oh,” you frown. “I’m sorry if you’ve been delayed because of me…”
Chan just shakes his head, pulling the chair back out and turning it towards you. “Nonsense,” he dismisses with ease. “Would you like to listen?”
Your lips part; “can… can I?”
“Of course,” he assures, and gestures to you to sit. You listen, looking entirely too small in his seat as you sit there, mesmerized eyes still drifting across everything. Chan is swift as he sets everything up, placing the headset over your eyes before clicking play. He watches you closely, and loves the way your eyes light up as soon as the track starts in your ears.
He always loves seeing people react to his music. He’s quite confident in his skills and relatively, the response is positive. 3Racha wouldn’t be as successful as it was after all if he, Han and Changbin weren’t skilled. But your reaction?
It’s his favourite.
There’s a certain light, a life that floods into your gaze. It’s like you’re experiencing music for the first time. Realistically, Chan knows you’ve heard music before, but he also knows you’ve been deprived of a lot of things the past few years.
He studies you closely, hoping he isn’t making you uncomfortable. His eyes trace your own, watching as your head bobs to the beat, before trailing lower. Your fingers tap on your arms, your left leg is tapping to the beat as well. He lets his eyes trail back up, this time settling on your lips.
Your soft, inviting lips.
Swallowing thickly, Chan’s hands seem to move on their own. Before he realizes it, he’s reaching for you. He wouldn’t usually touch you like this without your permission, but his alpha assures him, somehow seems to know, that it’ll be okay. And so he lets his hand reach for you, let’s it cup around your jaw, slow and tentative, before guiding your face towards his own.
You’re pliant in his grasp. You let him do whatever, not an ounce of fear. And that’s what Chan is careful to search for; any trace of discomfort or fear. There’s none. You’re content, happy even. Maybe a little nervous, but it isn’t a bad thing.
Your eyes meet his and then Chan is staring at your lips again.
Surprisingly, you make the first move.
You lean forward, pressing your lips against his own. The feeling is euphoric. Chan melts into it. Your lips are heaven against his own, soft and plump and everything he’d been wanting and more.
Then, you pull away, shy, cheeks flushed, and meet his eyes through your lashes.
“Was that okay?”
Chan nods; “more than,” he whispers, voice a low husk. “I didn’t make you uncomfortable?”
You shake your head; “no, but…” And you hesitate, as if afraid the next words out of your mouth will disappoint him. Which is impossible, you could never disappoint him. “But I don’t think I could do… more than kissing.”
His face softens at that.
“Of course,” Chan says, and he really means it. He would never force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. He shouldn’t have even tried to kiss you, he’d just found himself wrapped up in the moment. Any sign of discomfort from you though and he would’ve pulled away.
“It’s never an expectation,” Chan says, “and you never have to do it if you don’t want to.”
You frown; “my heat though…”
“You won’t spend it alone, but that doesn’t mean anything has to happen,” Chan assures. “There are other ways for you to be satisfied without anyone touching you. Or, at the least, going all the way.”
You swallow thickly, lowering your gaze. Chan quickly pulls it back up, thumb still pressed against your chin, strong and steady. “Okay?”
You nod; “okay.”
He smiles then, wide and warm, and takes the headset off your ears.
“Did you like it?”
“I loved it,” you smile and it takes Chan’s breath away. “You’re amazing.”
Cheeks warming, Chan shakes his head. “You’re amazing.”
You bite your lip at that and Chan can’t help but notice the way your eyes trail to his lips again.
“Hey Chan?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you to do something for me?”
“Of course, baby. Anything.”
“Can you mark me?”
That takes Chan’s breath away. The gentle caressing he’d been brushing against your cheek halts with his surprise and his lips part as he stares down at you, so prettily sat in his chair, looking up at him with pleading eyes.
“You mean…?”
You nod; “I want you to mark me. I know it’s something usually done while… but I don’t think I’ll be ready for that for a while. But I want it. I want to be mated to you. All of you.”
Chan crouches then, moving so you’re the one staring down at him. His hand shifts, taking yours in his. “Your wound still hasn’t healed, baby,” he reminds.
“This would help it, right?” You ask, “I heard Doctor Yoon. I know what a soulmark does. I… I want it.”
“From me?”
“From you,” you affirm.
Squeezing your hand, Chan meets your gaze; “are you absolutely sure, Y/N? I would love nothing more than to make you mine, but I need you to be sure about this.”
You reach forward then, with your free hand, and let your fingers drift across Chan’s own markings. All seven of them. Four on either side of his neck, along his collarbone.
You meet his eyes again. “I’m sure.”
Chan moves you to the bed. He wants you to be comfortable. He wants this to be special. He sits first and has you sit on his lap, letting you wrap yourself around him. He asks if you want to mark him first and you nod, shy.
So, he lets you choose, baring his neck to you when you’ve chosen the spot.
“You just bite, baby,” he guides, hands resting loosely on your hips. “You won’t hurt me.”
You’re slow, tentative. Your breath is warm against his neck as you lean in. He feels your teeth graze his neck first, poking and then pulling away, before you press your mouth against him. He shivers at the touch, heart racing, fingers pinching slightly on your hips. Your hands brace themselves on his shoulders and then you bite.
Chan’s eyes flutter shut, eyes rolling to the back of his head. The feeling is exhilarating. It hurts but in a good way. You bite soft at first, before pushing harder, allowing your teeth to break the skin and draw blood.
And when you pull away, lips coating with his blood, looking unsure but pupils blown, Chan feels his alpha in him break.
He holds himself back, though. This isn’t about him, this is about you.
“Good job, baby girl,” he praises, wiping the blood off your lips with a gentle thumb.
You lean into his touch, eyes fluttering.
“You ready for me?” He asks, wanting to make sure. “Or have you changed your mind?”
Because if you had, it would be okay. He’ll wait eternity for you if he has to.
“No,” you shake your head. You sound more determined than before, which assures Chan. There’s a certain lilt to your tone too, a certain desperation. “I want you to do it. I’m ready.”
Chan nods, shifting to pull you closer. He braces a hand against your back, the other on the back of your head, and guides your head to the side, baring your neck. He lets you pull the bandage off your neck, eyes darkening faintly at the sight of the healing but still present wound.
He’s going to fix it.
He waits for your confirmation, waits until he hears you whisper; “I’m ready,” and then he leans forward. He’s more confident, swifter than you, but still careful. He positions his mouth right over the wound, the bite Seojun had tried to force on you, and bites down a second later. He lets his teeth breath the skin. You let out a whimper, grip tightening on his shoulder, and Chan stills, just briefly, waiting for some sort of signal that this is too much.
You never give it.
So he bites more, lets his teeth fully sink in, and holds it. He caresses the back of your head as he does, soothing any discomfort you might be feeling.
When he pulls away, you’re both breathing heavily, chests rising and falling, and Chan smiles up at you.
“Was that okay, baby?”
You nod, easing his worries. His hands shift to hold your hips, squeezing, and presses a swift, gentle kiss to your lips.
“Words, sweetheart.”
“I’m okay,” you assure, leaning into his kiss. “I’m more than okay?”
Meeting your eyes, Chan hums; “yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nod again, smiling wide. The sight is beautiful, Chan thinks. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Blinkin, Chan’s face wavers faintly. “Your neck?”
You hum in agreement. “It’s been aching ever since Seojun bit there. Just a dull, persistent ache.” You explain, and Chan frowns at the thought that you’ve been in discomfort this entire time. “But it’s gone now. And it’s thanks to you.”
Cheeks flushed, eyes warm, you beam at Chan. His alpha howls in response.
“I’m glad to hear that, Y/N,” Chan smiles.
You lean forward at that, eyes fluttering. “Thank you, Channie.”
It makes his heart flutter, warmth spreading through him. He was so unbelievably happy to be seeing you opening up to all of them. And he was so proud that you trusted him with something as intimate and vulnerable as this.
He’d never forget the trust you placed in him today.
“Of course, baby,” he coos, brushing his thumb against your cheek. “You’re ours now. I’ll always take care of you.”
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Pairing: Stray Kids OT8 x F!Reader
Chapter TW. Mention of/Allusion to non-con, suggestive content, physical and verbal abuse (obviously all not from SKZ) This one deals with heavy stuff guys, please take care of yourselves
You’d told yourself you were ready, but having all eight of the boys sat around you, waiting for you to speak, made you a different level of nervous.
Swallowing thickly, your palms are slick with sweat as you rub them against your pants, trying anything at this point to get the racing beat of your heart to calm down. It’s so loud, thudding against your ears, that you can’t even hear your own thoughts.
You’re sure you would’ve rubbed your palms raw had two hands not fallen over either one of them. Lips parting, you’re pulled from your own thoughts. You glance to your left first, catching Han’s waiting gaze and gummy smile, and then to your right, finding Felix staring back at you with the same warm gaze and reassuring smile.
Instantly, you feel your shoulders ease.
“If you’re not ready, Y/N, we don’t have to do this now,” Chan calls, leaning forward from where he sits across from you. The look on his face is kind, a soft expression of understanding on his face.
When you look across the pack, everyone is looking at you the same way.
“No,” you whisper, nodding to yourself. Squeezing both Han and Felix’s hands, you turn to Chan with a determined look on your face. “I’m ready.”
“Still, take your time,” Minho nods. “There’s no rush.”
You listen, taking a deep breath in. You don’t let go of either Han or Felix’s hands, simply because having something to hold on to gives you the encouragement to stay strong.
Then, you just… start.
“I presented as an omega when I was seventeen,” you say, whispering the words. “I was still in high school, like most people are when they present. He…—Seojun,” you force out, refusing to let the name scare you any longer. “Had presented as an alpha the year before, when he was sixteen.
“I knew him in passing. We shared a couple of classes together, and had been assigned partners for a project once, but that was really it. When I presented though, he told me we were fated soulmates. It feels stupid now, but I believed him. I was seventeen, had just presented as an omega, and had no one, so when he told me he’d been looking for me his whole life, I fell in love with him.”
Swallowing thickly, you glance at your feet. You still remember how ecstatic you’d been that day. Young and impressionable, hearing someone tell you that you were everything they’d been waiting for and more, had been enough to convince you that he was your true love.
Even though you know now that that had been the worst mistake of your life.
“It was okay at first,” you continue, “great, even. Seojun was sweet, loving and attentive. I was the happiest I’d ever been. When we graduated, we moved in together. His father owned a big company, and so his parents bought him a house. I lived alone in a shitty apartment and had already been spending almost every night at his parents house, so it wasn’t hard to convince me to move in with him.”
You hesitate at that, your breath getting caught in the back of your throat.
Han squeezes your hand, Felix caresses the back of your neck to help distract you.
“Everything changed then,” you finally say. “It started slow. Small changes. He got angry at things that used to make him laugh. He got more possessive, didn’t want me leaving the house without him, didn’t want me going to school or getting a job. He started to control every aspect of my life. And then… then he started getting physical.”
There’s a palpable shift in the room at that. Everyone, who’d already been tense, shifts. You feel Felix’s hands pause on your neck and Han’s hands freeze in your own. Chan who sat in front of you leans forward, hands clenched in tight fists. Minho’s lips have curved into a deep frown next to him. Changbin’s eyes have narrowed and you’ve never seen such a dark look on his face. Hyunjin’s leg is shaking rapidly, jaw tense. And Seungmin’s face remains neutral as usual, but he shifts in his seat like he’s ready to lunge at someone. Jeongin stands like he isn’t sure if he wants to hug you or go hunting for Seojun.
You bite your lip.
“He got smart as it continued. Started hiding the bruises where no one would see them. Then, he just stopped letting me leave the house altogether.” Your eyes water then, flashes of everything you’d endured the past four years rushing over you. “He told me o-omegas were just things for alphas to use, that I-I wasn’t a person. He’d force me to… have sex with him whenever and wherever he wanted, regardless of the fact that I didn’t want it.
“He’d hold me in place, fingers digging welts into my arms, slamming into me relentlessly… It hurt so bad all the time. But he never stopped.” Inhaling sharply, you fight back the sob that threatens to fall from your lips. “The worst were during my heats. It didn’t matter how much I begged, he didn’t care about helping me, just making sure he left satisfied. I’d spend days that felt like weeks in that basement, on the cold concrete ground, crying for someone to just hold me.”
You pick your head up then, teary-eyed, sniffling, and glance at your pack.
“He came home drunk one day. He was always drunk, but it was worse that day. That's when he tried to mark me... I pushed him off me, knocked him out and I just… ran,” you shrug, as if it was that simple. As if any of these was just so simple. “I ran and didn’t look back. I’m sure when Seojun finally woke up, he was furious. He’s… he’s probably looking for me too. There’s no way he wouldn’t be.”
Meeting Chan’s eyes, you hesitate; “I don’t know what he’ll do when he finds me.”
“He’ll never find you,” Chan says, not an ounce of hesitation in his voice. “And if he does, he won’t touch you ever again. That I can guarantee.”
“Absolutely,” Minho nods from beside him, sitting forward. “You have your real fated soulmates, now, Y/N. We’ll keep you safe.”
You never knew how much you needed to hear those words. Or how much you needed to get that off your chest. You’re tearing up and your heart is pounding but there’s also a weight that’s been lifted off your shoulders.
“I know,” you whisper, “I trust you all.”
Han is wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his arms and Felix is leaning into the hug, wanting to comfort you just as much. You let them, enjoying the feeling of being smothered in their arms.
“Can I ask you a question?” Seungmin says, voice gentle.
Turning to the beta, you nod; “of course.”
“You said you lived alone,” he frowns, brows furrowed. “Where were your parents?”
You wring your hands together. You haven’t talked about that in a long time. Haven’t allowed yourself to think about it either. It hurt too much, and on top of how much everything else hurt, you couldn’t bear the burden of any additional pain.
But you owed them an explanation.
“My mom died when I was fifteen,” you say. “I never knew my dad. It was just me and my mom, and when she died, my grandparents were given legal guardianship over me. Only, they didn’t want to take care of me. Thought I was a burden and didn’t understand why a fifteen year old would still need someone to take care of them. So, they rented me this small apartment. When I was settled, I started working to help pay for it myself.”
There’s a brief moment of stunned silence.
Seungmin’s face twists; “oh.”
You nod.
The silence is thick. It swallows you whole. Han continues to hold you and Felix continues to run his fingers through your hair, but the silence is still stifling. It’s too much. You’re embarrassed, humiliated, at having been so vulnerable. At having bared everything to these eight men. These eight men you trusted and so desperately didn’t want to break your trust.
You… You don’t think you could handle that.
And then, finally, someone moves. It’s Chan. Of course it’s Chan. Strong, reliable, leader Chan. He moves until he’s crouched right before you, on his knees, slow and careful and submitting to you. His movements are careful, not touching until you give him permission to and then he rests his hand on your thigh; strong, reliable, warm.
“You’ve been through so much,” he starts, gentle, firm. “You’ve had to be so strong for so long, all on your own.” He pauses, breath inhaling a little too quick, a little too sharp, enough to tell you that he’s not okay. That he’s struggling just as much as you are.
They all are.
Because Han’s squeezing just a little too tight, as if afraid that you’ll be ripped from his hands if he doesn’t hold on tight enough. Felix’s fingers tremble over your skin, giving way to nerves. Seungmin’s face has settled into a deep frown, Minho’s jaw hasn't been unclenched once, Changbin’s fists are so tightly clenched his knuckles are white, Jeongin looks like he might cry and Hyunjin’s leg shakes like he’s ready to pounce in seconds.
“You don’t have to be strong anymore.”
Turning back to Chan, your lips part.
“We’ll take care of you, all of us,” he whispers, “you’ll never be alone again.”
The dam breaks then.
It happens suddenly, uncontrollably. Chan’s words reach a part of you that’s been desperate for love for so long. A part of you that thought would never feel loved again. It’s such an unexplainable feeling. His words touch you, the actions of the boys reach you, and then you’re sobbing, uncontrollably, loudly.
Everyone surrounds you then, pulling you close. Chan presses a kiss to your forehead, Changbin is brushing your hair out of your face. Han and Felix’s arms lock around you. Hyunjin is caressing the back of your head and Jeongin is rubbing your back. Minho wipes your tears and Seungmin hovers close, eyes watching carefully.
It’s not overwhelming.
It’s perfect.
“They’d cried themselves to sleep.”
Although the words come out with teasing intentions, Seungmin’s voice is fond as he stares down at the four of you.
After many more tears and many more reassurances, eventually you, Felix, Han and Jeongin had fallen asleep. In a mix of tears and cuddling and holding each other close, the four of you had fallen asleep in the communal nest in the living room. You were happily smothered in the middle, Han and Felix on either side of you, holding you close, with Jeongin happily wrapped around the three of you.
“It’s adorable,” Changbin coos in turn, grinning down at the four of you. “Look at our little Innie protecting the omegas even in his sleep.”
“That’s because Innie is a fiercely protective alpha,” Hyunjin snorts, rolling his eyes warmly at the sight. “Can’t bear to be apart even for a moment.”
Minho hums lightly in agreement.
But Chan? Chan remains silent. His eyes watch the four of them carefully, but it’s clear his mind is elsewhere.
“Out with it then,” Minho sighs, eyeing the pack alpha. “I already know what you want to say.”
Chan turns to him. “Are you telling me you don’t feel the same then?” He asks, before shifting his gaze across the rest of the group. “That all of you aren’t feeling the same?”
“What?” Changbin huffs, “like I want to fight that bastard and kill him?”
Chan’s shoulders drop. “Yeah.”
“Of course we do,” Hyunjin says. “And I’m not even a meat-headed alpha like you three. But didn’t we say we’d focus on Y/N?”
“We did,” Minho affirms.
Chan stands at that, scoffing. “We know his name now.”
“I agree with Chan,” Seungmin says. The four turn to him with parted lips and wide eyes, not used to such conviction from the beta. One look at him and you could tell he was riled and that wasn’t a sight any of them were used to. “We can’t let the asshole get away with that. Besides, Y/N said it herself… he’s probably looking for her.”
“We can’t ever let him find her,” Hyunjin says. “It’d break her.”
“I’m not saying we don’t,” Minho obliges after a moment. “I’m not saying we ignore it. But we can’t let it consume us. Y/N needs us. Felix and Han too. I know they’re putting a brave face for Y/N, but Han has been visibly restless at night. I know Felix is the same even if he’s better at hiding it.”
“He hasn’t been coming to my room,” Hyunjin hums. “When I checked last night, he was wide awake, saying he needed to be there for Y/N in case.”
Changbin frowns. “He’s been off with me too,” he agrees. “Both of them.”
“Innie too,” Minho says, turning to Chan. “He’s still learning to control his instincts, Chan. We lose ourselves to the anger and we lose him too. You all remember what happened before.”
There’s visible discomfort at Minho’s words, though none of them can pretend like he isn’t right.
Chan turns to Seungmin, and they share a nod.
“You’re all right,” Chan nods. “I know this has been hard on everyone. Especially these four.” He stares down at the cuddle pile, smile soft and tender but eyes worried. “We’ll find him but be careful about it. Don’t let the need for revenge consume you.” He meets each of their eyes carefully. “The most important thing is giving Y/N the life she deserves.”
“I agree,” Seungmin nods, crossing his arms over his chest. “But if I see this Seojun, it’s on sight.”
And that cracks everybody's tension.
Minho smiles; “same for me.”
“Agreed,” Changbin nods.
“I’ll be violent if it’s for Y/N,” Hyunjin grins.
Chan laughs. “Perfect.”
“If you guys are finding this guy, I want in.”
The five pause, turning to Jeongin who is now sitting up, an arm still draped across the three omegas but glancing up at the five determined.
“Innie,” Hyunjin calls, brows furrowed. “When the hell did you wake up?”
“I’ve heard you guys this whole time,” Jeongin rolls his eyes. “You guys aren’t quiet. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you guys stop acting like one bad thing is gonna make me lose control.”
Chan sighs; “Innie—”
“No, Chan,” Jeongin cuts in, voice sharp, surprising everyone. It was rare for anyone to stand up to Chan like that, especially Jeongin who idolized him. “I’m not a child. You don’t all have to act like I’ll lose it with every small thing. This is Y/N we’re talking about. I want to protect her. I will.”
Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin and Seungmin turn to Chan and the look on their faces is clear.
“I mean, the last few days, Jeongin has been more sensible than you,” Seungmin recalls, arching a brow.
Summary: They've been looking for the final member of their pack for years, a ache that never fades and always exists. Only, when they finally find you, they find a version of you that has been broken. Will they be able to make you whole again?
Pairing: Stray Kids OT8 x F!Reader
A/N: Please note that there will be a total of 30 chapters for this series! I've officially finished writing the entire story so now all that's left is to post it! :)
Chapter TW. Mention of/Allusion to non-con, suggestive content, physical and verbal abuse (obviously all not from SKZ)
This one deals with heavy stuff guys, please take care of yourselves
Sweat clung to you like a second skin, wrapping around you like chains holding you hostage. You were in so much pain and there was no relief in sight. All your mind could focus on was the aching currently crawling through your body; the cramps in your stomach, the ache of your bones, the fire searing through your skin.
The cold floor should’ve been a relief. Should’ve helped. All it did was make things worse.
You wanted a nest; blankets and pillows and similarly soft things that you could burrow yourself into. Even for just a second. Just a brief, temporary relief from the excruciating pain that hasn’t stopped for days.
There was no end in sight.
The sound of metal clashing catches your attention. Through blurred vision and a dazed consciousness, you glance up at the shadow hovering over you. He stares down at you with a wicked grin, his own skin slick with sweat; but rather than the pain you’re in, he looks euphoric.
He finishes buckling his belt, moving to pull his shirt over his head.
“Please,” you cry, voice croaky. You reach a pitiful hand towards him, trembling, bruises lining your upper arms. He simply stares and watches your hand drop back by your sides.
“We just fucked,” he says, “was that not enough?”
It wasn’t. How could it be? He hadn’t been concerned for you at all. Hadn’t been worried about your comfort, your pleasure; he’d only cared for his own. Using your body like a toy for his moulding, taking and taking and never giving.
Swallowing thickly, you fight to find the words; “no…”
No, because it wasn’t. No, because it never was. No, because he wouldn’t care. No, because you’re desperate enough that if you could talk, if you could find your voice, you’d be begging.
He laughs. Loud. Barking. It rattles through your bones.
It’s humiliating.
“You’re such a slut,” he spits at you, leering down at you. “I fuck you and you still want more?”
You just hug yourself tighter. You don’t want more, you need more. Your body is screaming at you, your omega is clawing her way through your insides for some sort of relief.
You’re in heat and your alpha doesn’t care.
That sort of pain is unlike any other.
“Doesn’t matter,” he brushes off, brushes off like he always does. “I’m too tired. I’ll come back later. Maybe.”
He turns at that, not bothering even a final pitiful glance down at you. He leaves you there, curled on the concrete floor, no clothes, no blanket, no nothing, in the depths of your heat, without a single worry.
The second the door shuts behind him, a sob wracks through your body.
“God. Can’t you do anything right?”
Nails digging into the skin of your arm, you attempt to make yourself smaller. He’s looking at you like he wants an answer but you have no idea what to say.
It doesn’t matter what you say, he’ll get mad at you either way.
“I-I…”
“I-I-I,” he mocks you, rolling his eyes. “You can’t even speak! How did I get so unlucky to find myself the world's most useless omega!”
Keeping your gaze lowered to your feet, you shake your head; “I made what you asked…”
“You made a poor imitation of what I asked,” he scoffs, taking the plate and flipping it over with a loud thud. You watch, helplessly, as the dinner he’d asked you to make, the one you’d spent hours slaving over, is thrown across the table as if it’s garbage. It spills all over the table and onto the floor, making a huge mess.
Unbothered, he throws a hand at the mess. “Clean that up and try again.”
Eyes wide, you turn to him, panicked. “Bu-But I—”
“Enough with the damn stuttering!” He cuts you off, voice roaring as he pushes himself to his feet. Your body reacts instinctively, flinching back. “Just do as I fucking say!”
You’re sure you’re breaking skin at that point, nails piercing your own arm as you bite your lip. “It’ll take a while,” you whisper, forcing the words out.
You feel a sharp sting across your cheek in the next second. It stuns you, stumbling over your feet backwards as your hand falls to the affected area with parted lips and bewildered eyes. His own eyes are already on you, narrowed and glaring.
“I don’t want to hear you talk,” he says, voice a low growl. “Omegas don’t talk, especially not back to their alphas. You listen and you do.”
He steps towards you, towering over you. You bite your lip, holding back the whimper that threatens to leave your lips as you stare up at him, one hand still clutching your cheek, the other holding yourself for any small bit of comfort you can find.
“Now, you’re going to clean up this mess until it’s spotless,” he starts. “Then, you’re going to make the dish the way I asked. If you mess up again, I promise you you won’t see the light of day for a very, very long time.”
Breath trembling, you stare back at him, terrified.
“Is that clear?”
You nod, quick, scared that he’ll mistake any hesitation as a sign of refusal.
“Say it,” he hisses. “I want to hear you say, ‘yes, alpha’.”
And you stare back at him, just for a moment, before you whisper;
“Y-Yes, alpha.”
“Please—”
“Shut up!”
“Please, alpha, it hurts!”
“I. Don’t. Care.”
He never slows, never softens. He’s harsh, aggressive, and only focused on himself.
Even though it hurts, even though you’ve begged him to stop.
He just doesn’t care.
“You’re only here for my pleasure,” he says. “So sit there and take it like a good omega.”
He thrusts in sharp, slamming his hips against your own, fingers digging welts into your arms. You cry silently, not even a whimper managing to slip past your lips, and pray it’ll be over soon.
Seojun had seemed kind at first.
You started dating in your last year of high school. He’d always been a familiar face, but your relationship had never progressed past the occasional ‘hello’s’. There was the one year you guys were partnered for a project together, but it wasn’t like you walked out of the assignment best of friends.
And then, you’d presented as an omega.
He’d told you you were his mate.
When you think back on it now, you’d always known, in the back of your mind, that he wasn’t your fated soulmate. You remember your mom, before she passed away, telling you that you would know. Something in you would just know. It wasn’t like it was told to you on a sign with big red letters or shouted at you at the top of someone’s lungs. The experience was instinctual, emotional and intimate. Something only you and your fated soulmate would know.
But Seojun, this popular, handsome man, told you that’s what he felt when he looked at you. That your scent spoke to him, hypnotized him, and you were what he’d been looking for his entire life.
And you, seventeen, young and impressionable and so incredibly lonely, had believed him.
It hadn’t turned abusive until after highschool. Seojun came from a well-off family. When he graduated, he was given a position at his dad’s company instantly and his parents paid for an house for him. He convinced you to move in with him.
“You already live on your own,” he’d said. “Wouldn’t it be better to live with your fated soulmate instead?”
So you did.
Everything changed after that.
It started small, as it always did. Situations he would’ve laughed at before, he suddenly got so inexplicably angry at. He’d turn red in the face, scream at you, say the worst things. But he never raised a hand and he was always apologetic afterwards. He was your fated soulmate, or you thought so at the time, so you’d forgive him. With a soft smile and teary-eyes, you’d let him kiss you and hold you close as if he hadn’t been screaming at you seconds before.
The first time he’d raised a hand at you was during your two year anniversary.
You don’t remember what the fight was about. So many follow that it’s hard to keep track. It was loud and stupid and he’d been so mad.
You remember him hitting you though.
You’d had a black eye for days after.
Over time, he got smarter about where he hit you. Spots that clothes hid, spots that no one else could see. And eventually, he stopped letting you leave the house all together.
You don't know why he changed. Maybe he always had it in him. A darker part of him you never noticed.
You think he did. He must’ve. Who lied about their fated soulmate?
You were forced to stay with him for four more years. Four long years of constant, unrelentless abuse.
And then, one day, you escaped.
Seojun’s drunk.
He regularly comes home smelling of cheap beer and with glazed eyes, but it’s worse tonight. He’s stumbling, slurring over his words. He’s complaining about his job, about how hard the work he does is, how unfair it is that he got stuck with such a useless omega who can’t even do the few things she is supposed to. You’re used to the insults, you’ve been hearing them for years they no longer phase you.
At least, not outwardly.
You focus on keeping a distance, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Your body still aches from the bruises he’d left on you last night, and you’re not wanting to add more to them today.
Honestly, you expect he’ll want to fuck and that’ll be it. It’ll hurt, yeah, but it’s better than being beat within an inch of your life. Those bruises hurt too, but nothing will stop him. If you’re good and pliant, maybe it’ll go by quicker. The faster he finishes, the quicker you can just go to bed.
Go to bed on the cold ground all by yourself.
“Y/N!”
Sighing, you resign yourself to your fate. If you didn’t answer, if you didn’t let him, it’d just be worse for you in the end.
“Yes, alpha?”
Thirty minutes later, and you’re naked on the couch, sweat clinging to your skin and Seojun hovering over you. His hot breath hits your face, the strong smell of alcohol making your face twist in disgust, as he presses you firmer into the couch.
The rhythmic thrust of his hips turns ragged, his voice cracking next to your ear, as he reaches his high. He pulls out just as his orgasm hits him, and you feel something warm and sticky hit your thigh as he groans, loudly, right at the nape of your neck.
You just continue to lay there. The worst is done now. Soon, he’ll let you go back to your room and then you can cry yourself to sleep away from him.
A minute passes and he still doesn’t move.
His lips remain right against the nape of your neck, chest rising and falling, still suffocating you against that couch. You stare at the ceiling and count the seconds down, desperately wanting nothing more than for him to get off of you.
Then, you feel his teeth graze your neck.
It makes your eyes widen, your lips part, as the sudden realization of what he’s doing occurs to you.
“Seo—ah!”
But you can’t finish your words. Can’t call for him, can’t ask him what he’s doing, can’t beg for him to stop. In the daze of your abuse, you’d been too slow to realize and now, his teeth are already breaking the skin at your scent gland, and biting hard.
The cry that leaves your lips is strangled. The bite is painful, too painful. When you were a little girl and you asked your mom about soulmarks, she’d tell you that when it happened, when you and your fated soulmate decided to make that commitment, it would be the best feeling in your entire life.
This is the opposite of that. This hurts. This hurts too much.
“Stop!” You cry, pushing at his shoulders. “Seojun, stop!”
His mouth leaves your neck, blood pooling around his lips, and the bite stings even though he’s no longer biting.
“What the fuck are you crying about?” He yells at you, words slurring together. “You’re my fucking mate!”
But he’s not. You’ve thought about it for a while now, probably always known it somewhere in the back of your mind.
Seojun isn’t your fated soulmate.
And this just confirms it.
You’re not really sure where the strength comes from. Maybe it’s desperation, maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s the years of abuse building up to something raw and unbalanced. In the next second, you’re shoving Seojun off of you, pushing hard. In his drunken state and surprise, he isn’t able to catch him, tumbling off the couch and to the ground. Something clangs, something breaks.
You jump up to your feet, grabbing your pants off the ground and heading right for the door.
His hand grabs your shirt, the one he hadn’t bothered to take off, but you don’t stop. You won’t let yourself. Not now. Your leg kicks back, blindly, kicking him in the face. You hear him groan, the shirt tearing in his grasp as you turn back and look at him. Sprawled on the ground, drunk, nose bleeding, eyes lidded.
With tears streaming down your cheeks that you don’t even remember happening, you take the closest thing, a vase, and smack it right over his head. Knocking him out.
And you stand there for a moment, chest heaving, body trembling, and stare at his limp body. The tears don’t stop and the sobs that start to pull from your lips are uncontrollable. Your shirt is torn and there’s still cum sticking to the side of your inner thigh.
And your neck. Your neck hurts.
Pressing a hand to the bite mark, you hiss, pulling back to see blood. He’d bitten hard, but with any luck the mark won’t take.
It can’t take.
You grab his shirt off the ground, using it to clean his cum off of your thigh, before pulling on your pants.
Then?
Then you just leave.
You’re hardly aware of making the decision. Your feet carry you towards that front door and your omega cries in relief.
The fresh air that hits your skin the second you step out feels like a miracle. It’s been so long since you’ve been outside.
And then you start running. You run and you run. Somewhere along the way, you’d started crying, tears profusely streaming down your cheeks, choked laughter mixed with sobs falling from your lips. You must look crazy, you know you look crazy. But you don’t care.
You’re finally free.
At one point, you find that park. The park that Chan, Han and Felix found you in. Your feet hurt, your legs burn, you’re sweating and out of breath. The bench looks comfortable so you sit in it.
You must’ve sat there for hours before Chan, Han and Felix finally found you.
The only thing that had been on your mind was: why you?
“Y/N?”
Blinking, you’re pulled from your thoughts at the sound of a familiar voice.
Turning, you meet Felix’s waiting gaze and warm smile.
“We’re home,” he says, voice soft.
You meet Changbin and Jeongin’s waiting gaze before looking out the window; sure enough, the car is parked right in front of the pack’s massive house.
It brings a smile to your lips.
Felix asks if you’re okay but you brush his concern off, unbuckling your seatbelt and stepping out of the car. The three follow you shortly after, and before you know it, you’re stepping through the front door.
“You’re back!” Han calls the second he sees you, bounding up from the couch. He’s racing over to you in seconds, wrapping you up into a tight hug that has you laughing softly as you hug him in return.
“I missed you too,” you whisper.
Han blinks down at you, touched by the confession.
“How was shopping?” Minho asks, stepping out from the kitchen. There’s a gentle smile playing on his lips as he eyes all the bags Changbin and Jeongin carry in. “I see you didn’t hold back.”
Felix snorts at that, pulling you into his arms. “You can blame that one on these two,” he throws a thumb back at Changbin and Jeongin. “They wanted Y/N to get everything.”
Minho snorts; “wasn’t complaining.”
“Hey,” Chan calls, stepping into the living room himself. He meets your eyes with a wide, warm smile. “How did it go?”
You smile back; “good.”
Chan’s eyes twinkle. “I’m glad.”
“Where do you want us to put these, Y/Nnie?” Changbin asks, pulling your eyes on him. “In your room?”
“Yes, please,” you nod. “Thank you.”
Jeongin just grins back.
“Wait!” Felix calls, letting go of you to rush to Changbin. “My surprise!”
“What’s all the commotion?” Seungmin’s voice pops up then, trailing with Hyunjin in tow.
The two betas perk up at the sight of you.
“You’re back!” Hyunjin calls, stepping over to you. You smile up at him, nodding.
“Hi,” you wave with a small smile.
The two betas wave back.
“Sweetheart, look!”
Felix comes bounding back over with his regular high amount of energy, holding a large, stuffed deer in his hands.
“For you!”
You accept the gift with parted lips, surprise flickering in your gaze. You’d known Felix said he was going to find a stuffed animal for you like he had for all the pack members, but you hadn’t expected it so soon.
“A deer?” You ask, meeting his eyes.
Felix nods; “Han and Seungmin helped me pick it out.”
You turn to the omega and beta, both turning away bashfully.
“I think it fits you perfectly.”
“It’s adorable,” Changbin coos. “Felix was so excited to buy it.”
Felix flushes at that.
“It’s a perfect fit,” Chan agrees, stepping over to you. He ruffles your hair lightly as you jut your bottom lip out with a pout, to which he just chuckles. “Our little bambi.”
“Bambi?” You echo curiously, distant memories of being sat next to your mother as a little girl, curled up in her side watching the Disney movie. “That was my favourite as a little girl.”
The boys watch you for a moment, quietly reflecting on the nostalgia.
“Well then, guess you chose well, Lixie,” Minho compliments, coming up to pat the omegas head. Felix positive beams at the appraisal, looking like a kitten being pet.
“We have our new Bambi.”
You find yourself flushing under all the attention, but you can’t help the bright smile that curls on your lips either.
Turning to Felix, you whisper; “thank you, Felix. I love it. I’m honoured to be able to be a part of your nest.”
“Really?” Felix exclaims, grinning ear to ear.
“Really!”
He pulls you into his arms, practically jumping with you. You let him, laughing, only stepping back when he lets go.
You take them all in then. Take in the fond smiles and warm gazes staring back at you. It makes you realize how lucky you are that Chan, Han and Felix found you that day.
How lucky you are you found your real fated soulmates.
How you never want to go back to the way it was before.
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
