[the-dandelion-queen]

I love the idea of Murderbot setting up its little security consulting business and advertising is like "Hey want some real security? Hire a rogue SecUnit. What's my rate? Unmarked bills. How much? I dunno, haven't thought that far. Gimme gimme, I wanna patrol your compound and rescue you from danger."

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sitting by the road in a wet cardboard box labelled Let Me Exhibit My Natural Behaviours

[aethergeologist]

Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably Priced Love! And a Hard Boiled Egg!

I might have been slightly overconfident with this piece

[cephalopod-celabrator]

I think one of Pratchett's great skills in writing was being able to make silly things serious, in different ways. Like, there's a fairy godmother forcing everyone into fairystales, how fun! Except in the process, she has stopped seeing them as people. She's forcing people to live lives they don't want to because she decides that's how it has to be. Sometimes she goes so far as to violate her victim's minds and deform and puppet their bodies so they'll play their part right, and anyone who doesn't do their job gets mercilessly killed. And there's a zombie activist named Reg Shoe who buries himself every year out of solidarity for the dead, how funny! Except he is filled with a genuine passion for justice and improvement in the world, and that's why he literally refuses to die. And he buries himself on a holiday that happens to be the anniversery of his own death, and he does it next to the bodies of the friends and strangers he fought alongside, the ones who didn't get to come back, so he spends one day with them. There is still a lot of silliness in discworld, a lot that's wacky and funny, but a lot of it, when you think about it, is oddly beautiful or touching or disturbing or something else entirely.

[monstrous-tournament]

The Ankh-Morpork Movers and Shakers Tournament!

Round 1

Dragon King of Arms

Lord Ronald Rust

Voting ended onSep 23, 2023

I know y'all know these two, but still, feel free to add your propaganda in the notes! 

[666thedemoncat666]

I’m aware this is over but to many of you voted Rust. He should never win anything on principle.

[pratchettpatricianpages]

Vimes was only half surprised when the doors to the Rats Chamber opened and there, sitting at the head of the table, was Lord Rust. The Patrician wasn’t there.

[…]

“Lord Vetinari on his holidays, then?”

“Lord Vetinari stepped down this evening, Vimes,” said Lord Rust. “Pro tem, of course. Just for the duration of the emergency.”

“Really?” said Vimes.

“Yes. And I have to say that he anticipated a certain… cynicism on your part, commander, and therefore asked me to give you this letter. You will see that it is sealed with his seal.”

Vimes looked at the envelope. There was certainly the official seal in the wax, but-

He met Lord Rust’s gaze and at least that suspicion faded. Rust wouldn’t try a trick like that. Men like Rust had a moral code of sorts, and some things weren’t honorable. You could own a street of crowded houses where people lived like cockroaches and the cockroaches lived like kings and that was perfectly okay, but Rust would probably die before he’d descend to forgery.

“I see, sir,” said Vimes.

-Jingo, Terry Pratchett

[pourable-cat]

I was in the mood for tomfoolery...

[gewska]

Four years ago I woke up at 5 am from distant explosions. I asked my boyfriend if he heard them too, he said he didn’t and I should go back to sleep. I tried to calm myself down, went on the internet, it was silent, no news or explanations. I told myself that those were just some weird street noises. Half an hour later I woke up again from the same noses, but louder. This time, there were news: russia launched a full scale invasion. In these 4 years I’ve felt layers of fear, hatred and sorrow I never thought were possible. The war completely changed my perception of the world and justice, it forced me to reevaluate everything in my life and everything I believed in. I’m not very good with words, so today I’ll be sharing some of my very personal artworks exploring some of the complicated feelings and experiences I had over the past 4 years. The war still goes on, in fact it has been going on since 2014 not 2022. russians still kill, rape, torture Ukrainian people, destroy our cities and do everything in their power to erase our nation from this world. Today I would like to ask you to donate to Ukraine and share info about this war. All the links can be found here. Thank you Слава Україні!

[anscathmarcach]

All this discourse over who does "painting with light"

Hiroshi Nagai's paintings need sunglasses to look at.

They look like how it feels to walk across a parking lot on a 98° summer day without a speck of shade in sight.

They look like heaven but also like you'd burn your bare feet on the ground.

Even when you can see shade you know it's not enough and the minute you step out you'll be burnt to a crisp like a vampire.

And it's BEAUTIFUL

[dbarenzu626]

I'll throw in the wonderful Eizin Suzuki into this ring too, a man whose work just breathes light without actually using dynamic lighting in the usual way. It's no surprise both Nagai and Suzuki are both considered prolific in art pertaining to the city pop genre because they're able to paint these kinds of scenes with a delicate touch.

This feels like I could trip on that radio and fall right into that water, feeling the crystal waves as I drop in.

And this, a nice stroll down a resort strip, where my sunscreened skin could literally feel cooked if I leaned too close to the tiling.

And then a nice stretch of summer street, wherein you could see your face in the flushed red of that car provided it didn't blind you from its sunny reflections.

I don't think I even need to say anything more, Suzuki's a massive influence in how he even places colours so warmly in such unorthodox manner. It's a naturally sunkissed talent~ 🌊

[redstonedust]

if i was a youtuber and i saw someone making gay fanfiction of me i dont think i'd neccescarily enjoy it because i'm aroace as fuck but i'd also be like oh hell yes i've made it. i'm in the yaoi big leagues now. sign me up for that markiplier money im riding this stock to the moon.

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[librarian-raichu]

I mean. That obviously wouldn’t work for many reasons, although I do believe if you required spelunkers to wear a suicide bomb to go caving, it would not be a major deterrent.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They'd be pissed off that the belt is too bulky and they can't squeeze through teeny tiny crevices that require you to avoid breathing until you're through or your ribs won't fit

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Personally I think we should make all spelunkers wear bulky vests like those people who tie a wooden spoon to a tiny dog's back so it can't slip through the bars of a property fence. Stop 'em from getting in those positions in the first place.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Fun fact on the farms I grew up on the farmers used to keep their jack russel terriers a lil bit fat. Because jack russels are rabbit/fox dogs, whose job is to go down burrows and flush out prey for the hunters to shoot, and if a tunnel is too narrow then your dog can get stuck underground somewhere in a maze of tunnels and be impossible to rescue. (They can dig pretty well but a dog is not a burrowing animal and there are limits depending on how they get stuck.) So if they're a lil bit tubby and they get stuck then after a day or so they're thinner (because there's no food or water down there) and they can pull out and come back up. I never saw a dog actually get trapped but this was the common wisdom re: why these tiny hunting dogs were all kept a little bit thick around the middle.

They also burn through energy and fat like anything so you want them to have a bit extra to spare in the best of circumstances just in case they get sick or something. Working dogs love to drastically lose weight if you look at them funny because they are small and never ever want to not be moving. But we were always told it was about being trapped underground.

[peachfromcmbyn]

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

[sturgeon-system]

[baked-fish]

I hate to say "some of you don't go outside," but fucking Christ, dude

[hunbunqueen]

Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu

[baked-fish]

Girl, what are you talking about? Are you feeling alright?

[triumphantbass]

I like that the fake show in Murderbot is starring John Cho who looks like he walked straight off the Cowboy Bebop set

[vortahoney]

Translator? Why not trans now?

[vortahoney]

My parents just read this post aloud to me and asked me if I’d seen it. I don’t know how to react.

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[lar-nis]

Omg, thank you all for the reblogs and likes! Still not very familiar with tumblr’s unspoken rules (especially about how to reply to comments in the form of hashtags in your reblogs and whether it’s necessary) But since so many of you liked the curly Mac, here’s another sketch of him for you as thanks💜

[stealingpotatoes]

how do you feel about foxes!

i like them now that i don't live in the countryside where i had to hear them doing their funky mating business. i hate whichever ones ate two of my brother's chickens and don't massively like the one that tried to eat my chicken, but i can't fully hate that fox as it ultimately wasn't successful because my chicken was too fat