♡ Roze! ♡

Gender is a concept I've yet to master... 

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[stavarosthearcane]

Good Job.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

[heroofthreefaces]

do you think no one else has time travel

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

[roach-works]

wow if only you had a time machine

[transdaughterofthesun]

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

[iforgotmyfandom]

:)

[idiototheinternet]

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

[lizyarikus]

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

[anexperimentallife]

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

[what-if-i-just-did]

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Imagine how I feel

[mrsjdavis]

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It doesn’t have to

[706roze]

Yes, it does

[ripe]

thedragonwoodconservancy on ig

[cryptidsydario]

laser gun gator boys

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

oh my god i didn’t realize this video had audio

[actualaster]

Okay as adorable as this looks, I’m pretty sure that’s a distress sound?  A “mommy help me I’m scared come save me!” sound?

@why-animals-do-the-thing

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

This video is from Dragonwood Wildlife Conservancy, and they are yearling (last year’s babies) Cuban crocodiles. Good news for you, this isn’t actually a distress call! According to @kaijutegu​ (and her giant bookshelf full of reptile resources), the laser sounds are an affiliative social call that young Cuban crocodiles use to communicate with their parents. They normally stop making the noise at around two years old, which is approximately when they start dispersing from the family group.

See, Cuban crocodiles are a super social species - and one of the few where the fathers stick around and provide paternal care for the babies! In the wild, babies would regularly interact with both parents, including when they provide food. This call is basically the type of vocalization that the babies use to communicated with their parents.

These crocodiles are being hand-raised as part of a private-sector breeding and reintroduction program (because the parents are so protective of their offspring that if you left them the babies to raise, you’d never be able to safely get close to them), and so they’re responding to the guy in the video the same way because he’s constant known safe individual and also the provider of food. He’s not a threat - his presence is a good thing, and he’s worth interacting with because it normally means food. You can also tell from their behavior and body language that they’re not stressed: some of the crocodiles are actively climbing on him and interaction of their own volition, but the ones that aren’t don’t show any indicators of hyper-vigilance. If that were a distress call, every crocodile that heard it would be alert and on edge looking for the threat. Distress calls tend to only happen once or twice, because in the wild continuing to make noise makes a baby more vulnerable: so these crocodiles wouldn’t be continually vocalizing if they felt threatened. There’s no snapping or gaping or freezing, all of which would be behavioral indicators of distress or discomfort. (Here’s a video of a baby nile crocodile being harassed by photographers which will give you a visual reference for both freezing and gaping.)

So, hey, this is certifiably cute - and good for conservation!

[bunjywunjy]

ETHICALLY SOURCED LASER NOISES

[jordisstigander]

[jvhdb]

[wolves-willow]

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

[jaesrri]

[epilepticsaints]

[if-you-see-gay-me]

[magnetictapedatastorage]

[heatandapathy]

Needs the last part

[captainscarletsc]

[scoundrellyfeline]

@heatandapathy you forgot the best part

[notlikingbestgirl]

Out of Touch

[is-it-out-of-touch-thursday]

Yes

[ocdnatural-deactivated20220809]

richard -> dick so obviously we should start the charles -> cock process

[lillie-garden]

how the fuck do you get cock from charles

[taran-wanderer]

you ask him nicely

[vrixie]

The Richard-dick naming situation actually comes from a fad that existed back in I think it was the 17th or 18th century, can’t remember which. But the naming fad/convention of the time was for rhyming secondary nicknames for names that already had a 4 letter nickname. Ie: William-will-bill, Richard-rick-dick

[loth-catgirl]

so it’d be Charles-chuck-fuck

[lysershine]

I don’t have tiktok so I had to find this like a mole digging for worms and nothing could have prepared me for the actual video itself

[charlesoberonn]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[rivkann]

[flower-in-a-horror-novel]

Like to charge, reblog to cast

[wilwheaton]

Honestly? They had me at "Trump dies".

[here-n-queer]

I like how you said “when” and not “if” is there something you wish to share with the class?

[charlesoberonn]

Yes, it's called self confidence.

[slonkel-deactivated20241128]

This better be true or else I'm personally killing trump myself

[the-haiku-bot]

This better be true

or else I’m personally

killing trump myself

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[memeuplift]

[raytoroapologist]

the future is bulletproof. by the fucking way.

[raytoroapologist]

and get this! the aftermath?

yeah it's secondary

[raytoroapologist]

experts in the field recommend that you actually do it now AND that you do it loud

[raytoroapologist]

hold on lemme check

[raytoroapologist]

turns out they're called

and you might want to

[asksloyxp]

You May "Na" to an n-th degree now

[ohheyitsjustjinx]

what vibes does prev give off

dragon 🐉

demon 😈

angel 😇

vampire 🧛‍♀️

ghost 👻

fairy 🧚‍♀️

mermaid 🧜‍♀️

genie 🧞‍♀️

elf 🧝‍♀️

zombie 🧌

Voting ended onFeb 17, 2024

[jerseyclown]

im like an ipad baby but for the sunset

[writeodore]

im like an ipad baby but for yearning

[jerseyclown]

tumblr.com/new/text <- you can try this too

[hiveswap]

man this year is gonna be the year i either die or become someone else i dont know which one maybe both

[hiveswap]

Everytime i think of the future i nearly throw up

[wrecked-cuticles]

hate to say it but the cow is right

[hiveswap]

Oh plush cow we're really in it now

[snazzymolasses]

I don't know why, but I find it even more comforting to look at it this way:

[hiveswap]

[sonic-justice-real-for]

please watch this tiktok (x)

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

There’s no way to tell where this goes.

[headspace-hotel]

No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you don't care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD

[headspace-hotel]

Walks up to a guy working on restoring a native tree species to his downtown "why aren't you posting about grasses in Turkmenistan!"

[headspace-hotel]

The internet has taken a whole generation of bright, motivated, passionate young people who care and have big hearts and turned them into paralyzed, shattered wrecks too crushed by the weight of the world's pain to hand a pair of socks to a person in need

[tonyzaret]

If Rock N Roll came out today they would call it Woke N Roll and it would be woke

[lennylemlem]

i quite vividly recall alice cooper singing about how being a man makes him sick

also david bowie exists

also freddie mercury

get burned

[tonyzaret]

its bait

[lennylemlem]

are you saying alice cooper, david bowie, and freddie mercury have nothing to do with queerness

youre hilarious

[tonyzaret]

I’m saying that my post about woke n roll is bait and doesn’t mean anything its just nonsense I posted in order to generate social media engagement

[wulftrick]

hey can I reblog this post

[tonyzaret]

Only if you want to be cancelled by the toxic Woke N Roll fandom