Canaan Carpenter

Just an author with a dream and a lot of nonsense. Author of ‘The Darkest Side of Me’ and creator of www.indiefinder.webnode.com

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Hey I’m sorry to bother everyone but Max is trying to win a contest, please go watch, like, share, comment and tag Mothica in his video!

This is their passion and I want to see him get the recognition they deserve!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeG84vjQ/

TikTok

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A quick quote by me

“Ma’am, Madam... EMINEM?”

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You know what annoys me?

When I hear people who have lived in the city their whole life say-

“Oh I want to move out into the country where I’m alone and it’s calm and peaceful and I can watch the sunrise!”

Like yeah Cathryn you don’t have to worry about light pollution- you know why?

BECAUSE THE NEAREST BUSINESS IS A DOLLAR GENERAL THATS 20 MINUTES AWAY. YOUR NEAREST NEIGHBOR IS A COW. ALL THE LOCALS ARE RACIST! THE NEAREST GAS STATION CHARGES 3.50$ PER GALLON BECAUSE THE NEXT ONE IS 30 MILES AWAY. IT TAKES THREE MINUTES FOR A TEXT TO SEND AND THERE IS NOTHING TO DO!

Like don’t get me wrong, it can be peaceful do be alone in the country for a little while-

UNTIL ITS NIGHT TIME AND THE GODDAMN GOAT PEOPLE COME OUT

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If you had a “friend” who was straight and you were gay and they called you a faggot- would you say that they loved you?

If they then said that you alone were different than other gay people- would you say that they loved you?

If after you stopped speaking to them because of this, they made no attempt to change and then joined a group of Anti- LGBT that sought to kill all gay people? Would you say they loved you?

If you got married to a person you loved and had/adopted a child with them and that person found out that the leader of that Anti-LGBT group was going to kill you and they told the leader they could kill your partner AND your child as long as they didn’t kill you? Would you say that they ACTUALLY loved you?

No?

Then STOP SAYING THAT SNAPE LOVED LILY!

“But he changed after Lily died and tried to protect Harry!”

True, but he also bullied Harry for years and did nothing to change while Lily was alive. Those are the actions of someone who is bitter and guilty, not the act of someone who loves you!!!!!!!!

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“I may be dead inside but at least I’m moisturized”

Quotes by me

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Have meme I made.

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I’m regretting shaving the side of my head

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So, I’m working on a nonfiction work about women and minority figures throughout history who have been forgotten due to their race, gender, sexuality, etc.

My goal is to bring light to these people but my question is- as a white woman- is it wrong for me to write about the lives of black, Asian, native, etc. people, even if it’s researched? I plan to try and only use sources written by that community and anyone in the book who is still alive I want to interview them.

I’m a bisexual woman, but I am white, which obviously gives me privilege and I don’t want it to come across as me trying to speak over authors who are POC.

I just know that as a white author I’m sadly, more likely to be listened to, and I want to use that to uplift POC. But I just want to make sure I’m doing it in the most sensitive way I can.

I’d appreciate the input from POC. With everything going on with the BLM movement I want to help shine a light on all the good minorities have done for the world.

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So I’m trying to teach myself psychology/neuroscience and let me tell you it’s fuckin difficult. Cause there are different parts of the brain, the forebrain, midbrain, and hindbrain.

In the hindbrain we have something called the medulla oblongata which is made up of the dorsal medulla and the ventral medulla.

Now, in the midbrain we have this thing called the tegmentum which is at the front of something called the optic tectum.

How does this connect?

The tegmentum and the dorsal medulla are apparently the same thing but according to everything I’ve read one is in the hindbrain and one is in the midbrain so idk

I don’t know how it connects

Someone tell me

Please

I dont understand. How are they the same thing but in different sections of the brain.

Why

Why!?

How?!

I asked my friends mom who is a counselor and she doesn’t know and google is about as helpful as a bag of dead rats and I’m going to rip out my hair.

[artfully-wayward]

You: villains monologue to allow the hero time and opportunity to escape

Me, an intellectual: villains monologue because it's free therapy and everyone needs a little catharsis every once in a while

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All I’ve eaten today is a moon pie, fiddle faddle, and cookies. I’m going to die

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I just got out of a toxic friendship and let me tell you I feel so much lighter. It’s hard for me to let people go because of trauma but I finally did it and I feel amazing. I’ll hopefully be happier and able to work better!

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So I have been writing a book. A fantasy one. In the same universe that I’ve been working on. I may post previews but I’m gonna wait until I have more written.

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I haven’t slept in two days. I’m not okay. I’ve been really sick and depressed and it’s partially why I haven’t been posting. I left home and I’m trying to find my own place. I’ve relapsed multiple times and am over all suicidal and I fear for my physical and mental health. I have worked on my writing and I’ve done well, but I overall am not okay right now and I’m not sure when I will be. I am doing my best to make changes but right now I’m in a really dark spot, darker than I have been in a long time. So if you could all keep me in your prayers, rituals, whatever it is y’all do or believe, I’d really appreciate it.

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I almost unironically used the word “yeeting” in my writing. Am I really this out of it?

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Currently Hiring-

Someone to pour ice water on my head every time I procrastinate writing-

Your payment is raiding my fridge.

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Little Things

I want little things

I want someone to love me

The same way I love them.

I want to feel safe with someone

I don’t want someone who worships the ground I walk on.

I don’t want someone to buy me expensive things

I want to wake up in the morning and kiss someones nose

While sunshine pours through the curtains and onto the bed sheets

I want to wake up and smile as I wake up, seeing them walking back in 

Because they’ve been awake for hours

But couldn’t bring themselves to wake me up.

I want them to say good morning and I’ll say it back

I’ll laugh as they climb back on top of me and tickle me mercilessly

Before eventually laying with their arms wrapped around me, breathing on my neck and kissing it softly.

I want to bring someone lunch and steal a quick peck before they have to go back to work.

I want us to sit on the couch under a blanket together, watching tv

Or both of us just doing our own thing, separate but together, in comfortable silence

I want someone who will cradle me after a bad panic attack or meltdown

And tell me they love me even still as they carry me to bed.

I want them to be vulnerable with me

I want them to be able to cry into my chest as I stroke their hair and whisper words of comfort to them.

Because they know they’re safe in my arms.

Because we are both flawed and hurt but never broken

I want to look into someone’s eyes as we lay in bed, speaking in breathy whispers

I want to trace their face with my fingertips while we talk about everything in the universe

As if we are the only people in it.

I want us to never go to sleep angry, though we may argue sometimes

I want to be able to walk around our house, brushing my teeth in nothing but jeans with a towel on my head.

And you’ll be in the bathroom in your underwear shaving, or putting on makeup, depending on who you are

Whether you’re a man or a woman.

I want us to eat messy food and laugh at each other.

You’ll wipe sauce on my nose and I’ll messily kiss you with a mouthful of food.

I want us to shower together sometimes.

I’ll wash your hair for you and you’ll help me wash my back where I can’t reach.

And we’ll have to stay super close cause there’s only so much hot water

And neither of us want to be cold.

I’ll cover my face in bubbles and you’ll spit water at me like a fountain.

We’ll laugh and smile and eventually you’ll hold me to your chest as we stand under the shower head

And I’ll gently kiss your lips.

I’ll give you weird gifts of rocks or candles

Or anything I find that I think you’d like, no matter how big or small.

I’ll get myself in crazy situations

I’ll dance like a maniac and sing badly in the shower

And I’ll always chase after the animals I see because I want them to love me

But you won’t care that I’m odd

Because I’ll be your oddball

And you love me, as much as I love you.

- Canaan Carpenter