@80percentarsehole - Tumblr Blog

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

biggestzam

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

kaiasky

i want you on my team holy shit

infectiouspiss

can we kill the idea that yawning=bored because there's a million reasons to be yawning and being condescendingly asked "oh im sorry are we boring you?" because of something you can't control is really rude.

you're not boring me this is a side effect of my medication but thank you for deciding that my yawns are some sort of insult toward you and going on the offensive i loved it 👍

homunculus-argument

I don't like people who actually "baby talk" to human babies. That's a person who's supposed to learn how to speak properly one day, and you're not helping by being nonsensical. These same people find it funny when you talk to a baby like you'd talk to any other person, and some of them get insulted when you baby talk to animals. I'm not the one talking to a dog like it's a baby, you're the one talking to a baby like it's a dog.

Wild animals, however, need to be addressed formally, like a person that you don't know. Because that's what they are, and you're not supposed to be familiar with them. And if one is familiar with you, that's the way you respond. Like sir. Sir what are you doing. There's nothing in my pockets for you. This is my yard and you are trespassing. Please leave.

dogpuppy

orbitalyear-deactivated20230513

old gods are waking

dragon-in-a-fez

idea:

day-time-dream

clownboybebop

my mom, discussing furries with me: but I don’t get all the cats and dogs, why wouldn’t you want to be a sexy animal? like a kangaroo

me: mama what the hell does that mean

my mom: so muscular

transbb

when i was in therapy i once expressed to my therapist that i really struggle with having pretty much zero idea of who i am as a person + she whipped out a piece of paper and suggested that we write down different aspects of myself. and i had no idea what to say bc ‘myself’ is a concept i’m not very familiar with so she started saying about my interests and how that’s part of me + i was like okay!! that makes sense!! so she clicked her pen and was like “you said you like video games before” and i was like sure bud :) and watched her write down, in capital letters ‘GAMER’ and i’ve never had so much terror struck into my h

ratparkprince

loveridden1999

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

loveridden1999

remember remember

harbinger-of-silly

All gays will go to hellsite

king-of-oreo

What if in hellsite but not gay

punky-beaver-offical

king-of-oreo

NO!

avhira

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

caustic-pixie

OP the tags!!

adventures-in-poor-planning

yesterday I got the "are you a boy or are you a girl" question from a six-year-old, and I told her that some people aren't boys or girls (like me!) I was expecting her to be a little confused, but she nodded thoughtfully and said, "wow, just like snails."