PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
#extradirty
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
occasionally subtle
will byers stan first human second
Today's Document
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taylor price
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Claire Keane
Peter Solarz
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blake kathryn
oozey mess
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@a-cool-stick
LOVE IT when one of my amab friends says something and I just look at another friend and say “men, am I right?”
HATE IT when they clap back with “I’m non binary ”
No hate to non binary people (I am literally one of you) but it kinda ruins my bit
If chapels can have rainbow coloured windows and painting of naked gay men on the ceiling, I can dye my hair and get tattoos
imagination (1963) - harold ordway rugg
"chekhovs cat / schrödingers razor / occams gun"
Chekov's Cat: if you see a cat in the first act, it will probably be relevant later. (example: Alien)
Shrodinger's razor: an unopened box may or may not contain the solution to the story; there's no way to know without opening it. (example: Monk)
Occam's gun: the simplest way to kill off a character is to shoot them. (example: Bambi)
i have been cracking up at this for the past 3 minutes
Chekov's Box: If there is a container introduced in the opening act, it will be opened later.
Schrodinger's Gun: Treat every gun as if it's loaded unless you've checked it yourself.
Occam's Cat: If you hear strange noises at night, it's probably a cat.
Chekhov’s Schrödinger: if Schrödinger was introduced in the opening act, then something may or may not be relevant later
Schrödinger’s Occam: An unopened Occam may or may not contain something simple
Occam’s Chekhov: the simplest way to know if Chekhov will be relevant later is if it was introduced in the first scene
I love university life because it’s completely normal for someone’s future therapist (me) to hold back someone’s future lawyers hair while she throws up in a club toilet after making out with some rando on the dance floor and then the whole group gets kicked out because the bouncers are racist to your mostly POC friend group
why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable
Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….
Finally, we have them all.
In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.
Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.
It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Broken Post Detected!
damn i feel privileged to have run into this
Found the broken post lol…
Damn this post is more broken than my mental state
Sappho set a standard for lesbianism that most of you aren't living up too
She did not write "in the crooks of your body, I find my religion" for you to just sit there in your button up shirt and wonder if you're actually dating or just really good friends
Me when I see someone with the same hair dye colours as me
I love my anthropology professor. He starts every lecture with a breathing exercise and tells us that talking in front of so many people is scary. Sometimes he beatboxes while we do our breathing exercises. The reason for the breathing exercises is to make all of us look silly so it's not so scary for him
What's wrong babe? You've barely touched your femininomenon
having ADHD will have you going round your house saying aloud, "Okay, so if I were me, and me is a dumb fuck, where the hell would I put X," and you still can't find it
It's finding your glasses in the fridge and a cold cup of coffee from 2 days ago in your closet
Do you think the term "different strokes for different folks" came from the idea of handwriting or masterbation?
I'm gender queer
For me that means I wanna be masc the way girls are masc, fem the way boys are fem and androgynous the way David Bowie was androgynous
Me: (literally just chilling)
My ear for no reason: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, the highest pitched noise you shall experience
Me: (stands up)
My brain: gravity doesn't exist and balance is for pussies
I'm pretty sure pouring your rage into your everyday activities constitutes as a workout
This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:
How to unclog a toilet without a plunger
How to fix a blown fuse
How to fix a leaky faucet
How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower
How to escape from a house fire
How to make a budget and stick to it
How to sharpen a knife
How to clean a self-cleaning oven
How to clean red wine stains from carpet
How to clean blood stains from fabric
How to clean grease stains from fabric
How to do a load of laundry
How to iron your clothes
How to test your smoke detectors
Cooking Skills:
How to tell if produce is ripe
How to know if food is expired
How to properly sanitize a kitchen
How to cook an egg
How to make rice
How to make pasta
How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely
How to use a gas stove
How to use a convection oven
How to cook meat safely
How to use a stand mixer
How to use kitchen knives properly
How to make mashed potatoes
How to make grilled cheese sandwiches
Health Skills:
How to stop bleeding
How to treat a burn
How to do CPR (on an adult)
How to do CPR (on a child)
How to do CPR (on a baby)
How to help someone who is choking
How to save yourself if you are choking alone
How to read a nutrition label
How to treat frostbite
How to recognize when someone is having a stroke
How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule
Mental Health Skills:
How to calm down during a panic attack
How to help someone who is suicidal
How to meditate
How to stop self-harming
How to recognize problem drinking
How to choose a therapist
How to deal with disappointment
How to cope with grief
How to raise your self-esteem
Relationship and Social Skills:
How to apologize
How to cope with a breakup
How to accept criticism
How to deal with bullying
How to argue in a healthy way
How to ask someone out
How to break up with someone
How to recognize an abusive relationship
How to rekindle a damaged friendship
How to speak in public
Job Hunting Skills:
How to tie a tie
How to write a resume
How to write a cover letter
How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)
How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)
How to properly shake hands
How to nail a job interview
Other Skills:
How to sew on a button
How to hammer a nail
How to change your oil
How to put gas in your car
How to jump-start a car
How to pick a good password
How to back up your files
How to write a cheque
Weird band names that I would use if I were in a band:
1) Banshee Wedding
2) Murder? I hardly know her
3) Medical Malpractice?
4) Mediaeval bitch syndrome
5) ??????
6) Undiagnosed puddle of goo
7) Maybe I just need a nap
8) Okay, but...why
There are more but I forgot...
9) Pork Texan Steak
10) Dungeons & go fuck yourself
