Bess and Her Musings

Dreamer, believer. Just living life and reporting back

[a-tiny-bess]

Howdy!

Welcome! Call me Bess. 19F. USA. A convert to Catholicism (from Protestantism). I often struggle with scrupulosity but I am trying to learn to see God's love in and behind everything.

I love all sorts of language/literature/poetry/music/art/culture—all human attempts to make, find, and express meaning. I tend to ramble and be wordy. I (try to) write a lot, and I consider it one of my main callings.

🎀📖🗣️——post where I ramble about all the things I want to learn/do

✝️📿🧎——translation of a beautiful homily a mutual sent me about the sacrament of Confession (could be helpful if you're scrupulous)

📚📝——quotes and/or reflections from books I've been reading

I'm not really a fandom person... but some of the music artists closest to my heart are Twenty One Pilots, half•alive, and Aurora Aksnes.

I'm bad at favorite books but I love pretty much anything by CS Lewis, Madeleine L'Engle, or Dorothy L. Sayers. A poet I love is Wallace Stevens.

This blog mainly focuses on my daily life, faith, and writing. @bess-has-a-garden is my blog more devoted to fangirling/appreciating music and other media. (I formerly used @bessrecommends for this as well).

Common tags I might use are #catholicism, #scrupulosity, #faith, #college and specific to my blog: #bess rambles, #bess writes, #bess daily, #bess reads. In case those are of varying degrees of interest to you.

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, both now and forevermore. Xx

Top flower divider by @strangergraphics, crucifix divider is by @pixopix, puppym and wolf chan dividers by @lariesographic.

[jackalope-woman]

Moomin house in Moomin Valley Park. -`♡´-

[a-tiny-bess]

when I don't even know him that well and he literally likes someone else and he's not even Catholic and I don't even want to date anytime in the next five years but also. I can't stop thinking about him and how kind and genuine and nerdy and sweet and devoted to his faith he is and I could imagine the two of us together and it's beautiful——————

This is why I write stories btw, so I can get my imagination out of daydream land and put it to better use—

[a-tiny-bess]

Relaxing on my writing goals because I need time to rest. and Breathe. And Play. And I finished the first draft of my book as well as my first year of college and writing like eleven short stories so I deserve a break

[sawasawako-archived]

[ace-pervert]

An insecure edgelord

[kongu2525]

Nazis and racists after seeing the dni list for a random stim blog

[frogressive-rock]

Thank You God for giving St. Elijah as a reminder of "dude chill you just need to eat and take a nap right now"

[a-tiny-bess]

if poetry snobs are to insist in writing in meter and verse as the only valid method of poetry I wish they would at least do a good job

[a-tiny-bess]

url change. from a-small-annabeth to a-tiny-bess :)

[a-tiny-bess]

A second quote to share from Gilead by Marilynne Robinson (Bess Reads 6/14/26)

I've been reading the novel Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. It's the first novel I've read from her, and I really love it. I would call it.... either contemporary or historical fiction? It's set in the late 50s so in that sense it feels historical, but it's attempting so much to tell the story of a time as to tell the (fictional) story of a life. Basically the book is an aging pastor, John Ames, with a young son writing down reflections on his life for his son to read, since he knows his death is not far off.

I already shared a quote I like from this book here— allow me to share a few more that I like. First here's a reflection on attempting to prove the existence of God.

...You can assert the existence of something—Being—having not the slightest notion of what it is. Then God is at a greater remove altogether—if God is the Author of Existence, what can it mean to say God exists? There's a problem in vocabulary. He would have to have had a character before existence which the poverty of our understanding can only call existence. That is clearly a source of confusion. Another term would be needed to describe a state or quality of which we can have no experience whatever, to which existence as we know it can bear only the slightest likeness or affinity. So creating proofs from experience of any sort is like building a ladder to the moon. It seems that it should be possible, until you stop to consider the nature of the problem. So my advice is this—don't look for proofs. Don't bother with them at all. They are never sufficient to the question, and they're always a little impertinent, I think, because they claim for God a place within our conceptual grasp. And they will likely sound wrong to you even if you convince someone else with them. That is very unsettling over the long term. "Let your works so shine before men," etc. It was Coleridge who said Christianity is a life, not a doctrine, words to that effect. I'm not saying never doubt or question. The Lord gave you a mind so that you would make honest use of it. I'm saying you must be sure that the doubts and questions are your own, not, so to speak, the mustache and walking stick that happen to be the fashion of any particular moment.

[a-tiny-bess]

Here's my second quote for the day:

He did then seem to me the angel of himself, brooding over the mysteries his mortal life describes, the deep things of man. And of course that is exactly what he is. "For who among men knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of the man, which is in him?" In every important way we are such secrets from each other, and I do believe that there is a separate language in each of us, also a separate aesthetics and a separate jurisprudence. Every single one of us is a little civilization built on the ruins of any number of preceding civilizations, but with our own variant notions of what is beautiful and what is acceptable—which, I hasten to add, we generally do not satisfy and by which we struggle to live. We take fortuitous resemblances among us to be actual likeness, because those around us have also fallen heir to the same customs, trade in the same coin, acknowledge, more or less, the same notions of decency and sanity. But all that really just allows us to coexist with the inviolable, untraversable, and utterly vast spaces between us.

The book isn't all theological reflections, btw—there's a real plot (though it emerges quite slowly and stealthily in my opinion), and beautiful descriptions like poetry, and vivid anecdotes. I recommend it to anyone who wants a peaceful but also deep read :)

[a-tiny-bess]

A second + third quote to share from Gilead by Marilynne Robinson (Bess Reads 6/14/26)

I've been reading the novel Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. It's the first novel I've read from her, and I really love it. I would call it.... either contemporary or historical fiction? It's set in the late 50s so in that sense it feels historical, but it's attempting so much to tell the story of a time as to tell the (fictional) story of a life. Basically the book is an aging pastor, John Ames, with a young son writing down reflections on his life for his son to read, since he knows his death is not far off.

I already shared a quote I like from this book here— allow me to share a few more that I like. First here's a reflection on attempting to prove the existence of God.

...You can assert the existence of something—Being—having not the slightest notion of what it is. Then God is at a greater remove altogether—if God is the Author of Existence, what can it mean to say God exists? There's a problem in vocabulary. He would have to have had a character before existence which the poverty of our understanding can only call existence. That is clearly a source of confusion. Another term would be needed to describe a state or quality of which we can have no experience whatever, to which existence as we know it can bear only the slightest likeness or affinity. So creating proofs from experience of any sort is like building a ladder to the moon. It seems that it should be possible, until you stop to consider the nature of the problem. So my advice is this—don't look for proofs. Don't bother with them at all. They are never sufficient to the question, and they're always a little impertinent, I think, because they claim for God a place within our conceptual grasp. And they will likely sound wrong to you even if you convince someone else with them. That is very unsettling over the long term. "Let your works so shine before men," etc. It was Coleridge who said Christianity is a life, not a doctrine, words to that effect. I'm not saying never doubt or question. The Lord gave you a mind so that you would make honest use of it. I'm saying you must be sure that the doubts and questions are your own, not, so to speak, the mustache and walking stick that happen to be the fashion of any particular moment.

[a-tiny-bess]

I FINISHED DRAFT 1 OF MY BOOK BTW

Coming in at 67878 words :D

[flywithmeforever]

Experiencing a moral crisis. Pray for me.

[moethh]

am i the only one who hates the corporatization of Catholicism right now

[moethh]

i hate the concept of “Catholic celebrities” i hate “Catholic products” (innocuous nonreligious things that have a saint quote on them or whatever) i hate like 90% of Catholic podcasts i hate Catholic AI i hate the fact that my religion is turning into something marketable i hate this actually

[darnitjack]

I think Pope Leo agrees with you

[a-tiny-bess]

To be hopefully finished in the next two weeks:

Finish the rough draft of my novel, and

Write two short stories

[lilyismycat]

Please pray for my father D who committed sexual abuse against me and my mother.

Pray for his salvation.

I want this spread far and wide. It is my dream that the whole world would pray for this intention.

[ferns-and-deer]

please pray for me, my back pain is getting worse again…

for context i have chronic pain from two herniated discs in my lower back that causes sciatica in both my legs. this is the first time in a while that it’s been hard to walk/stand, and both my jobs require lots of moving, standing, occasional lifting. i cannot call out of work; i can’t financially afford to, nor do i have the money for a doctor’s visit/urgent care.

both prayers and advice for coping with pain are appreciated, thank you all.

[psalms-and-spells]

Art with Jesus having the kindest eyes and the scruffiest beard gets me every time. Like he purposefully didn’t look ‘holy’ or ‘regal’ he was your neighbor. He was your carpenter.

[honeyworships]

my favorite version, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside