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The duality of "If you even imply that being aro or ace condemns someone to a sad and lonely life I will fucking fight you"
and
"being aro and ace is the most isolating thing I will ever experience"
i think the tags are important
Aroace culture is watching people talk about media where two friends are willing to go to hell and back for the other and hearing them say: ‘There is no way they are just friends. You don’t do this for a friend.’ And it just reminds you that according to so many people, you will never be worth the effort or care you desire. Even though you would genuinely put that much effort towards your friends, they wouldn’t do it for you.
.
similarly to how you should never trust gamers with a nonbinary character i feel like you can also never trust a fandom with an aroace character. whether it's explicitly canon or implied it just ends up the same
we need to normalize a tradition where nonpartnering aros are like "hey, i'm officially never getting married, please come to this party and give me whatever kitchenware you would have bought me for a wedding"
To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.
Sorry you almost had to entertain the idea that people like me exist, I'm sure that was very painful for you.
think about it long time
"everyone should get more aromantic" can appeal to tumblr's sensibilities but I genuinely think everyone should also get more asexual. I don't mean everyone stop having sex, what I mean is
Sex is not essential. You can live without it. Full stop.
Not having sex isn't shameful or a sign of failure. It also doesn't make anyone boring.
You are not entitled to having sex with anybody and nobody is entitled to having sex with you.
Sex is not what makes someone an adult.
Nobody's worth is defined by how much sex they have or don't have.
Sex is not equally important to everyone.
You can have fulfilling and happy relationships without sex.
You should only have sex on your own terms, not because you feel like you owe it to someone, or because you feel like you'd be incomplete without it.
Know your boundaries around sex and be firm about them. Know how to respect other people's boundaries.
The previous point also applies when it comes to discussing sex. If someone doesn't wanna talk about it or hear about it you have to back down.
Anything can be sexual but not everything has to be sexual.
you don't even have a dog
it's pride month!! you know what that means
everyone get more aromantic NOW
The concept that married people live longer is interesting. I'm sure there is some merit to the idea that if you're married there is someone there to nag you about going to the doctor, but I think much larger factors are having the finances of dual incomes and access to an immediate support person.
Surgeries require having a designated person to look after you. Many injuries require driving to somewhere like an emergency room which can be hard to do if you are the one injured. If you're home with the flu, it's hard to tell when it's bad enough to go to the hospital without another person checking on you. And if you pass out it requires another person to find you like that to get medical aid.
You can prop it up as the benefits of marriage, but I think there's a much deeper discussion to be had about how we've built society around marriage as an inevitable conclusion and neglected to build support systems that function outside of romantic pairings.
sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.
the thing is that i actually do enjoy romance in fiction but i also believe that romance-repulsed aros have the right to complain that NOTHING is made for them except maybe kids media. once you start to realize how pervasive romance is in every sector of society it's impossible to ignore. like you remember when there were barely any gay shows on television and straight people expected us to be grateful for the one gay side character on a network show? that's exactly how it feels with romance all the time. i want to see media created by adults for adults that doesn't involve romance anywhere in the plot. i want to see characters (main characters!!!) not want romance and not be treated as broken or crazy. i want a world where my romance-repulsed friends aren't confined to kids media (and even then, to only a limited selection)
this. Like don't get me wrong I love kids media. But I like stories with no romance or expectation of romance once in a while you know.
vote me for president i will make every character aromatic
I wish I could set a Tomodachi Life mii up to be aromantic but also able to have other miis get doomed crushes on them. It would be really funny. I want love to lose, repeatedly.
"why can't they just be friends?" not in the homophobic sense, but in the "in your need to center romance in everything you are missing the whole point of the media in question" sense
been struggling with my aromantic identity lately. it's not the aromanticism itself, it's how everyone treats me because of it
been struggling with my aromantic identity lately. it's not the aromanticism itself, it's how everyone treats me because of it
