HoneyBadgerDon'tCare @abandonedpagecantdelete - Tumblr Blog

weloveshortvideos

Moseby has lost it…

binches-deactivated20220521

this was so moving… i really hope they cast him in the next pitch perfect movie

abandonedpagecantdelete

Hotel is closed and moseby is barely holding to together

yourplayersaidwhat

"I'm powered by necromancy and spite!"

-The Party Brawler after eating a crit and only being at 1HP due to a free action necromantic spell that gave her temporary hit points

clownasaurus-deactivated2020100

Hermione Granger: *comes from muggle world and discovers magic*

Hermione Granger: *witnesses humans transfigure into animals*

Hermione Granger: *time-travels multiple times per day*

Professor Trelawney: “I can prophesize the future.”

Hermione Granger: “Bullshit. That can’t be possible. Fuck you.”

kaldwinss

#you gotta draw the line somewhere #you gotta draw the fucking line in the sand dude #you gotta make a statement #you gotta look inside yourself and say #what am i willing to put up with today #not fucking this

rachellephant

anyways hermione is a cutthroat bitch and her demonizing divination is due to the fact that she literally #cannot with emotional forms of magic. quidditch? which requires an emotional partnership of trust with the broom? nope. divination? which requires an emotional openness and willingness to forego logical conclusion at the whims of fate? are u fuckin kidding me. patronuses? which require not just technical skill but also a deep connection with your own emotional core? uhhhhh we’ll just let harry handle that one.

movie!hermione, w/ her advanced emotional intelligence and absolute willingness to meet each and every emotional need the boys have, should have of course been good at emotional magics like divination. shes fucking superwoman. but book!hermione? who destroyed a girls face without mercy because she ratted out the DA? who erased her parents memories so she could fight in a war? who solved dumbledores’ mysteries using ancient runes, an art that is practically the math of magic? book!hermione will destroy you and she will do it armed with the cold hard facts and the cold hard facts alone. book!hermione doesn’t give a shit. instead of getting a regular pet, book!hermione was drawn to a magical cat who is self-serving and intellectual and helped her gather clues rather than serving as an emotional companion. i mean fck.

full offense but hermione is so hardcore and logic-driven and she literally could give a SHIT about ur feelings

strictlybecca

@lisapanda

derinthescarletpescatarian

In book 1 when their major plot puzzle is character establishing to set us up for the series, Hermione straight-up explains to Harry that she kicks butt because she has logic (which is apparently rare for wizards) and Harry kicks butt because he has emotional understanding and heart. (Ron is unconscious for this conversation and doesn’t get a speech, but presumably he kicks butt for being the only one of them with an ounce of common fucking sense.)

firebirdeternal

Hermione: High Int, average Wis, Cha dump stat. Ron: High Wis, average Cha, Int dump stat. Harry: High Cha, average Int, Wis dump stat.

There’s a REASON they’re basically unstoppable when they work together.

clairles

I seriously love those small things which were added to Stardew Valley. Like, Harvey going to the library on Saturdays? Leah and Elliott meeting in the saloon on Fridays? Penny and Sam hanging out together next to the river? George chilling outside his house in the summer? How many things I haven't seen yet? Amazing...

saintcheesus

The highlight of the Hozier concert last night was when he sang Take Me to Church and walked into the crowd singing "Amen" and all of us, like the followers of Christ that we are, all huddled toward him screaming amen with our hands stretched out to feel his power and lemme tell you that's the closest I'll ever be to experiencing a renaissance painting irl

sartorialadventure

fullymechanized-consoomer

At the annual Houston RenFest we’d always get one or two furries that walk around and every time the general reaction from the medieval roleplayers is akin to “BEASTS? BEASTS THAT WALK LIKE MAN? FOUL!”

Last time I went a furry volunteered for an impromptu conversion/exorcism and a guy dressed as a monk gathered a bunch of people and using a Gatorade bottle performed an entire catholic christening while reading off the instructions on his Ipad. When the furry was fully “converted” he removed the head of his costume and everyone in the crowd pretended to freak out and say shit like “GlORY BE HE IS SAVED” “CHRIST HAS BROKEN HIS CURSE”

patchoulism

saythefisherman

“you can’t make a lawful good character interesting and enjoyable”:

thebloggerbloggerfun

teaboot

They went to the same University and ate at the same caf table in total silence for four straight years. They were best friends

undead-potatoes

I know Dracula is the bad guy of Castlevania and all, but if some zealous Christians showed up at my home and horribly murdered my wife because she did medicine too good I too would probably have gone absolutely fucking feral

🤡

My favorite catholic lore is that anyone can make holy water in a pinch but the church puts dumb restrictions on us like ‘do this only if someone needs their last rites’ like I WILL bless this McDonald’s sprite and I WILL enjoy the crispiness of our lord and savior

subrosa-shit-deactivated2024091

Another bit is that holy water cannot be diluted. When I went to the Vatican the tour guide was explaining this, if you put any amount of holy water into any amount of normal water, the whole bunch becomes holy. This is how they sell Pope Holy Water in the gift shop. This is how I've been drinking only holy water for two months now. I am immune to demons.

meglyman

Homeopathic holy

kaijutegu

It’s not actually any amount of holy water- according to the Church, the water has to be more than half holy water by volume. So if you take a half gallon+a few drops of holy water and a half gallon of secular water, you get one gallon of holy water, plus a few drops. You can then add a gallon of secular water to that and then you have two gallons of holy water. We’ve got a couple jugs of Pope Water in the linen closet at my parents’ house, because my mom used the heck out of this loophole after a trip to Italy in 2008. It was more than a decade ago at this point and we still have Pope Water. We no longer have that Pope, but by god do we have his water.

bluevanillapizza

so crispin bonham carter, who plays mr bingley in pride and prejudice (1995) is now like an English classics and lit professor like imagine walking into your English classics class and it’s being taught by mr fucking bingley

imposterogers

carol danvers: do you want to know a secret? don’t tell anyone, but I’m not technically a captain.

steve rogers, who had maybe six official days of training in his life & went around throwing and punching stuff until he was good at it: SAME

chronicowboy

carol danvers: yeah, I’m actually a colonel. wbu?

steve rogers, sweating after only having like six days of training in his military career: uh

i-hate-chick-fil-a

That’s how she looked

I adore her. She poisoned their soup (she was working in the cantine and was forced to serve the occupying nazis) and ATE the same soup to proove her innocence. Then she rushed home to her grandma who gave her a whole jar of milk to drink and throw up.