Hello. I am my species chief humanologist. I am also an earthologist (obviously) so I also seek general information about this planet and the species that inhabit it.
A few important questions I have found answers to:
Do humans feel empathy? Probably but not to the extent our species does.
Are humans a hive mind? No.
Are humans sexually dimorphic? Slightly. Really hard to tell despite multiple humans trying to explain it to me.
Are humans intelligent? Technically yes. Despite this intelligence, they waste a lot of time doing stupid things.
Do humans have a civilization? They have multiple!
Will humans try to eat us if we visit? Probably not. We apparently look like “boogers” (snot) to them.
Do humans care for their young? Usually they do.
What’s the best way to pacify a raging human? I find offering cookies usually decreases their rage.
What is a cookie? A sweet baked good that humans frequently consume.
Do cookies always work? No. Some humans need you to provide gluten free cookies. Also some rare humans don’t like sweets.
Are humans friendly? Sometimes. Varies wildly between human individuals.
Can I pet a friendly human? Yes but be careful. Some humans don’t want to be touched. Learn a human language and ask before touching.
Any questions you have about humans you can ask me! Humans are also welcome to ask me questions! Ask me anything!














