those are the first words max hears as he sits down next to isack just before the team debrief. and, jesus. he'd told the kid ever since he caught liam leaving his driver room at the start of the season that the last thing he wanted was to be involved in whatever romeo & juliet bullshit they had cooking up.
he of course, said it a lot nicer. he thinks he did at least, but it doesn't matter to much because it had gotten the idea across and isack hadn't so much as mentioned liam to max since.
"im sorry?" max replies, voice kept low but still discernable over the engineering chatter happening around them. isack just looks around to check for any unfortunate eavesdroppers before leaning in closer to max.
"liam. im worried for him." he says again, teeth coming out to snatch on his lips once, leaving a trail of blood from what was probably a re-opened bite.
isack uses the back of his hand to swipe distractedly at his lip while max just looks on with a raised eyebrow.
"and why is this my problem?"
"well, it's not. i just- mate, i need help." isack stumbles over his words before looking up at max with stressed eyes, and sure max has no idea why isack would think in a million years that he was the correct person to talk these concerns over with, but-
well, isack was a kid. a kid in love. max remembers being the same way.
"sure. whatever." he says, setting his notepad down and turning fully to isack who runs a hand over the top of his head before letting out a tired sigh.
"so liam. he's- i don't really know how to say it, but he's very cheery on the outside yes? very kind of, uh, mellow." isack begins, stumbling over the english as his eyebrows draw in further and further, his worry not helping his translation in the slightest.
"yeah, he's been like that for a while." max says, and he buries the voice inside him that goes, not always. liam the red bull driver was hungry, the liam now is different. he shoves it deep down, because he cant think about the then and now of his previous teammates without-
"yeah, yeah he has. but. i dunno, i was there at the start of 25' when he was very not okay, and i dunno." isack cuts himself off again.
"well, he's definitely moved on from that by now?" max responds, trying not to sound too unsure of himself.
"yes. but no. i dont know, because he's just been so off recently. but what im struggling with is that it isnt a bad kind of off, like hes ignoring me, because he isnt. he's just different." isack says, chewing at his nail a bit before taking his hand out of his mouth and shaking it off.
max just stays as still as possible, hands clasped infront of him like a statue.
"well. change isn't bad no? everybody has to change." he says after a moment, and when isack looks at him again, his eyes are watering at the edges and his lip is bleeding again.
"i dont mean- i meant. well, max. i dont think liam is happy." isack says, nearly whispering at this point.
and max freezes, which isack takes as permission to keep talking, even though max is fairly certain his train of thought was broken down at the station and wouldn't be leaving for a while now.
"and- i dont know. ive always just thought he was like that, y'know? but i was, like i keep looking at videos from when he first got to VCARB and, he's just so. not liam-like. its so weird."
and max knows the feeling, the feeling of seeing a familiar smile return time and time again but just a little bit off. uncanney, and not the way he remembered it.
"and i just kept thinking about it, again and again. like, what piece of the um, the connector? the puzzle! what piece of the puzzle i was missing. and, maybe its that i dont see the same spark in his eyes when we look at each other." isack rambles on, wringing his hands together, pausing minimally for breath.
"theres no spark, no nothing." isack finishes, before tearing his eyes away and looking at the ground.
"no happiness, i guess." he whispers. then as max is just beginning to recalibrate, isack looks up again, a tear running down his face, a tear that is quickly wiped away but a tear no less.
"and i just started thinking, had i lost liam before i had even met him?"
the meeting starts then, laurent comes in with his notebook and laptop and everyone quiets down, max and isack forced to turn away from each other and pay attention.
but max wasn't paying attention, how could he. when all he can think about is the way liam bounced from toe to toe whenever looking over the car with the mechanics at milton keynes, the way his eyes would light up whenever max would stop to discuss something about the sim with him.
about how weightless he seemed.
then max remembers how liam looked in suzuka.
and for a second max is sent back again, to checo. and yuki. alex, even pierre. the wieght they all carried, the heaviness in their eyes as the storm of red bull swirled around them.
how it wasnt the storm that broke them, but being sent away from it.
this is why you dont think about old teammates.
