The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma @aboulic-atychiphobic - Tumblr Blog

Think it would be so funny if I told my mom I have a surprise for her when she gets off work and it's just my corpse

Five: Can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhh briefcase?

The Handler: Briefcase machine broke.

thinking about how absolutely incomprehensible this string of words would be to someone who does not understand the internet or has seen or heard of the umbrella academy. Without context this would be just some really surreal shitpost. Just ten years ago, this would have been a strange and meaningless jumble of words, and I think that’s beautiful.

mihira-hp-deactivated20240315

he's a ten, but he got stuck in an apocalypse and loves a mannequin.

aboulic-atychiphobic

he’s a ten, but every time he closes his eyes he sees a diarrhetic hippo about to shit on his face

#i want a chain of reblogs where each sibling gets a recognition #here i'll try in the tags #he's a ten but he's got the eldritch tentacles of a being from another dimension stored in his Him #He's a ten but he's got a body that could be mistaken for a furry #He's a ten but he deals with any Uncomfortable Emotion with anger and can throw knives fancy #He's a ten but ended the world twice on accident #She's a ten but she heard a rumor

aboulic-atychiphobic

If Diego Hargreeves had had access to television like normal children, he would have definitely been a Naruto fan probably and also would have been one of those annoying Ninja Kids.

He would definitely have had a ninja phase and no one can convince me otherwise

aboulic-atychiphobic

Or maybe not Naruto exactly bc he would have been a little old, but for sure a ninja phase. BUT MAYBE HE WATCHED NARUTO IN HIS FREE TIME AS AN ADULT WHAT IFFFF?????

If Diego Hargreeves had had access to television like normal children, he would have definitely been a Naruto fan probably and also would have been one of those annoying Ninja Kids.

He would definitely have had a ninja phase and no one can convince me otherwise

#umbrella acedmy #diego hargreeves #He would have made paper shurikens and terrorized his siblings

I had a dream where I was in a plane crash and I didn't even really notice until later in the dream bc I was kinda distracted doing my own thing while the plane was crashing (that I was ON), like I only kinda noticed it, and I feel like this should be some sort of sign about smth but I'm gonna ignore it

#dreams

Sticks and stones may break my bones. I give them permission.

#sticks and stones #why are they so violent #Wanting to break everybody's bones #You're just a little pile of unalive nature #why are you like this

So this lady come to my house and she saw my cat jump like 5 feet into the air and went "wow that fat little thing can go" and I never identified more with my cat before that moment

#Cat #He is just so fat and yet so athletic

My mom put sonic fanart on the TV and was complaining how she didn't understand what fanart was and telling her "fan-made art" apparently was incomprehensible to her so I got my phone out, went into incognito, and searched up some sonic fanart. Showed her the worst ones I could find in the span of a couple seconds. Today is a good day.

#Parents #Sonic #Sonic fanart #Why #I found one that I will use as my lock screen to scare away anyone who might try to steal my phone #Maybe there is good in the bad #My mother is so old

Experienced cheese curds for the first time and I am Changed™

I'm really hecking mad rn..

So anyways my teachers today were all talking about that school in Illinois defending it's satanist class and they were like "it's so disgusting" and making vomit noises and stuff but like.... I don't think they know anything about satanism? And to just attack it like that is making me really peeved rn. I wanna say something to them but I'm not sure I really can. I just can't believe the teachers really bashed it so much, TWO teachers to the whole class, though maybe more since I don't have every teacher. They obviously knew nothing about what it was if they went that far. I'm really upset about this. And are they even supposed to insult religions in a public school like that? I just--

#Satanism #Public School #Religion #Bias #Not Okay #My teachers are uneducated swine apparently #Close mindedness

Obtuse rubber goose green moose clown abuse

uh yeah so-

I was talking to someone today and recently well... things and I am Dying and Yeah... but anyways they were like, “Why are your eyes so dead? Like, you’re smiling, but your eyes are just dead” and honestly this is the first time anyone had EVER pointed something like that out and I have no idea how to feel about it jrfhtguihsfnrfdlkr

narwhalsarefalling

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

narwhalsarefalling

okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of “both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency” but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other

so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.

and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a “re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you” but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read “Reguardless of Professor A’s opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping” and its HILARIOUS

narwhalsarefalling

ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED

until like LAST WEEK

narwhalsarefalling

professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word “husband”

and obviously all the students are like “oh i didnt know u were married!” because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine

narwhalsarefalling

and shes like “yeah, its Professor A”

narwhalsarefalling

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

narwhalsarefalling

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A’s desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

narwhalsarefalling

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny

beez-n-crackers

aboulic-atychiphobic

man I wish I went to that school jhsdfgfuyhgfeuguewfuivj

blenderfullasarcasm

knife cat but make it conan

aboulic-atychiphobic

Conan, being excited and cocky, solving the case in front of only the criminals and not waiting for the police to arrive

metalatias5

I’ve been obsessing over Detective Conan lately..

I wanted to draw a Conan and Takagi version of that Spiderverse meme because I love how seriously Takagi works with the Detective Boys and just how often he’ll trust Conan’s deductions or suspicions and even look directly to Conan for clues

Bless this man(child)

aboulic-atychiphobic

I hope Conan can tell Takagi who he is one day cause I’d LOVE to see this man’s reaction. And if he tells him before the B.O. is taken down, and maybe is asking Takagi for help in some sort of final showdown, I can see him being like “??!!” and then totally getting into it and being super serious after having a mental crisis for a few minutes jhvfgbjherhfjsrujhfbuhrg