Imagine the cantina scene from Star Wars except it's a quiet day when Obi-Wan and Luke arrive and there is only one captain there with a ship for hire. And it's Hondo.
Hondo: KENOBI!!!!!
Obi-Wan: Fuck my life.
will byers stan first human second

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@abrightshiningstar
Imagine the cantina scene from Star Wars except it's a quiet day when Obi-Wan and Luke arrive and there is only one captain there with a ship for hire. And it's Hondo.
Hondo: KENOBI!!!!!
Obi-Wan: Fuck my life.
Star Wars Prequels + Colors
droids, jango fett, anakin skywalker, padme amidala, obiwan kenobi, shmi skywalker, boba fett, commander cody, count dooku, clones, general grievous, darth maul, handmaidens, mace windu, chancellor palpatine, yoda, quigon jinn, aayla secura, commander bly, darth sidious, darth vader, r2d2, c3po, luminara unduli
It’s outrageous, that after four trials in the Supreme Court Nute Gunray is still the viceroy of the Trade Federation. I fear the senate is powerless to resolve this crisis.
FFG’s Star Wars | Sabine Wren - Darksaber & Mandalorian Vambraces | by Martin de Diego
PARKOUR
I’ll leave it here and run away-
SOME OF THE NOSE ART FOR THE GAR WAS REALLY GREAT
I like to believe – and boy, do I wanna use this in all my sw fanfics – that the clones, being born from tubes in Kamino, grown and trained there to then fight by the Jedi, had no contact with toxic masculinity. They never would use “like a girl” as an insult or think of women as any less than them (fighting by Shaak Ti, Ahsoka Tano and Aayla Secura’s side helps a lot on that aspect too). They would never have such things as rape jokes or what disgusting conversations so many excuse as “locker room talk” and such bullshit.
They would also never be taught of boys don’t cry and such shit, so they would feel free to cry on a closer brother’s shoulder at the news of a dear tooper’s death; they would rest their heads on each other’s laps on leisure times, they would cuddle each other in cold nights because who can you trust better to sleep beside you than a vode, a brother who would lay his life for you and vice versa? They would talk about feelings, no “man up” shit, and no homophobia too. “I’m hella nervous about asking that twi’lek, help me out!” “Okay, chill, brother, and first of all fix that helmet hair of yours, it looks awful. Okay, which twi’lek, I see two green girls, the tall one or the smaller one?” “None of them, it’s the taller blue one. There.” “Oh. Ohh, that guy. Nice. Go for it.” “But…” “Fine! *downs drink* I’ll wingman ya.”
Give me emotionally open, physically comfortable, sexually secure clones. Give me all of it.
All of this is true, trust me. Common sense says it does.
Commander Bly of the 327th Star Corps
Natalie Portman as Padme Amidala in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
give leia a therapy fox! I know they made a creature based on gary, but it was barely in the film, and I wanted to see a sweet goofy vulptex
bonus poe (he got demoted again):
I love my droid, like my father before me.
THIS IS IT THIS IS THE ONLY POST THAT MATTERS #LOOK AT THEM #THIS #I TALK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH #IT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL #LUKE LOVES ARTOO #AND ANAKIN LOVED ARTOO #AND I WISH THAT LUKE COULD SOMEHOW KNOW THAT HIS DAD LOVED ARTOO JUST LIKE HE DOES #THAT THAT’S SOMETHING GOOD AND PURE THAT THEY SHARE #THAT THEIR SIMILARITIES AREN’T JUST BEING FORCE SENSITIVE AND POWERFUL AND EMOTIONAL #THAT IT’S LITTLE THINGS LIKE THIS #LIKE LOVING YOUR DROID (via @softwedge )
lurkingcrow
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lurkingcrow replied to your post: …
Why am I now envisaging a “Gilligan’s Island” style sitcom where they are all stuck on a deserted moon together? It would be AMAZING!
Oh my God, that would be amazing. They’d have to work together to find food and shelter. Anakin would lose his temper with Grandpa Dooku 500 times a day. Meanwhile, Obi Wan would make snide little comments and just generally be completely unhelpful. Dooku would sit up at nights glowering and fantasizing about killing them both.
Obi Wan and Anakin wish he wouldn’t. It’s really hard to sleep with a Sith Lord staring fixedly at you with Bloody Murder in his eyes. Dooku claims that if he can’t wage a slow war on the mental stability and sleep schedule he will actually commit murder. Anakin and Obi Wan believe him.
Anyway, they all sleep with their lightsabers in hand and a wonderful family vacation is had by all.
Ah but you forget the bonding influence that is Hondo Ohnaka - because of course he’s involved too! No matter how much they loathe each other Dooku and our heroes end up bonding over the urge to do something rather permanent to the pirate after the fifth or so time he manages to ruin a decent escape plan with his conniving. And after a while with no rescue (no one knows where they are after all, and let’s say there’s some convenient plot limitation preventing the Jedi from pinpointing their location) they begin to appreciate the little things about each other…
Like Anakin’s ability to make anything seem edible despite Obi-Wan’s offers to “help”. Or the way Dooku can power the various systems with a good bout of Sith Lightning or two. Or Hondo’s seemingly endless supply of incendiary devices. Or the fact that despite his inability too cook to save his life Obi-Wan’s homebrewed alcohol is good enough to make them forget their situation for at least several hours…
That last one speeds up the bonding process immensely! One night Anakin and Dooku start talking politics and oh please, no, Obi-Wan really did not need to hear how Anakin thinks dictatorships are a perfectly efficient form of government (so long as it’s not a Sith at the helm of course!) or see Dooku enthusiastically agree while bemoaning the corruption preventing action to being stability to the Outer Rim. He really did not need the visuals of the two men drunkenly hugging each other while sketching out a (surprisingly feasible given the circumstances) plan to take down the Hutts via lines in the sand and occasional rocks to represent certain systems. In the morning they wake with headaches and are back to cursing each other’s existence. Except their threats are getting more and more extravagant and Obi-Wan swears he saw Dooku nod approvingly the last time Anakin was dealing with Hondo. Maybe he needs to have a word to Anakin about not falling for the Sith’s blandishments…
Anakin remarks that he’s not the one having polite philosophical debates over Not!Tea (they ran out of the real stuff early on) and look, as a member of the Jedi council it is Obi-Wan’s duty to at least try and make their fallen copatriot reevaluate his position! Anyway, Anakin isn’t the one who has to deal with Yoda looking sadly at his wallet picture of tiny padawan Dooku every time the CIS make another move ok?
Dooku is reevaluating his position, but on the benefits of turning rather than killing the pair of Jedi he is stuck with. Kenobi is of course a superior option, and it is only his attachment to Skywalker that has lowered his potential - now however it looks like Skywalker may be salvageable (or at least potentially bearable) and really Sidious doesn’t deserve power the way Dooku does…
Hondo thinks these Jedi and Not-Jedi are the most amusing thing ever! Especially when they are drunk! If only he could find a way to keep them in his custody once they get off this rock…
oh my GOD does this mean anakin and dooku eventually overthrow sidious?? obi wan helps out bc he’s not going to NOT help take down the sith, but he’s very. confused about the whole thing.
especially because after sidious is dead, dooku seems to think anakin is now his apprentice. anakin and obi wan indulge him.
“oh yes, dooku, anakin will join you for your weekly sith dinner tomorrow. no, don’t worry, I won’t come, I know I didn’t get an invitation. of COURSE i’m capable of leaving Anakin alone for five minutes! Do you see him here right now—”
anakin chooses this moment to peak out from behind the ship engine he’s been fixing “can I bring padme? honestly though if ventress gets to bring quinlan I don’t see why I can't—YES, i know vos actually went dark for a while, but yesterday he was downing Arrest Me Harders with Bant and Obi Wan, so—”
I honestly hadn’t thought past the “stranded together and grudgingly bonding via snark” part, but I don’t see why not! Except Dooku is still extra keen on turning Kenobi, it’s just that he no longer feels quite the same urge to eliminate Skywalker and perhaos he might even prove useful in the long run..
(The truth is always that in many ways Anakin and Dooku are far too alike to ever easily get along. But when they have a common goal? There is no stopping them. Palpatine never stood a chance. Obi-Wan has a bit more, but either way they’re going to end up one happy, insane and still slightly murderous, family!)
So of course Obi-Wan has an invite to dinner! How else are they going to lure him to the less-light side of the force? (No one’s quite sure how to classify them these days because while he’s still a tyranical asshole Dooku has been more agreeable to peace talks than usual, possibly because Anakin has been making some very interesting suggestions about how to drop all the blame on the Banking Union and Trade Federation and use the confiscated funds to spark rebellion in Hutt territory and No! Bad Anakin! Obi-Wan is forced to swat him with a datapad to discourage collusion with the enemy!) There is that “Rule of Two” nonsense of course, but Skywalker and Kenobi count as a single symbiotic entity anyway right?
ah no of course you’re right! dooku’s end goal is still getting his grandpadawan to Join him, and where there is kenobi you will always find skywalker not far behind. dooku’s reasonably sure it works the other way around too, so it makes sense to grab skywalker first.
plus with all the moping and complaining about the Lack Of Obi Wan Here On The Dark Side anakin’s been doing, Dooku’s sure that if Kenobi doesn’t show up soon, Skywalker will quite literally drag him here anyways.
and he is still following the Rule of Two, Dooku insists! the sith are still only two: Dooku and The Rest. what do you mean about semantics, Kenobi, is arguing that what finally brought you here of all things, and why are you holding that pile of rags—
Ooh, great, you brought my favorite robes! Anakin says happily. I’ve been missing them :’(
DOOKU AND THE REST!!!! OFC!!!!! LOL. Obi Wan never really falls but he does eventually begin visiting Dooku on Serenno on the regular like a good Grandpadawan. Yoda follows suit. Pretty soon it becomes a yearly thing.
Just imagine the lineage reunions throughout the years. Yoda shows up of course. As does Obi Wan, Anakin and Ahsoka. And of course Anakin always takes Padme and their kids. Things get kind of… raucous. These reunions give Mace Windu and the rest of the council massive stress headaches because aside from gathering some of the most powerful and influential people in the Order, the Republic and CIS in one easily attacked place, they also gather some of the most reckless, pig-headed people in the galaxy in one tiny area and that never ends well.
!!!!! A+++ and @lurkingcrow AND U PUT HONDO IN HERE TOO YK HOW I AM ABOUT HONDO.
every year at the Serenno Annual Lineage Tea-and-dinner—Anakin and Ahsoka call it SALT for short—there’s some new Huge Terrible Interplanetary Mess that happens.
Obi Wan tries so hard to prepare for any Situation that might come up. He works with Rex and Cody to make sure they’ve identified all possible outcomes, using a V Complex algorithm that takes into account every past SALT event and the presence of every living Skywalker. but no matter what, every year they fall short by this much.
the three of them are so Tired. they even got Madame Nu to help!! and yet,
Hondo crashes the reunions. Every time. At this point he is expected but there is no way in the galaxy that Dooku will ever offer him an actual invitation. So far he has tried multiple times to kill him with traps, but like a cockroach he keeps coming back…
The rest of the Serreno Sith (Obi-Wan objected to “New Sith Order” on the basis that it was too confusing when referring to just “the Order”. He objects to the new name as well but no-one pays him any attention.) consider it the best entertainment if the year and have been known to offer tips. Skywalker and Vos will often attempt speedruns of the deadly obstacle course as part of the festivities.
All hostilities over the “Best Apprentice” trophy are put on hold for the duration. No one wants to ruin Master Dooku’s decorations after all! Even if Anakin did imply that Asajj is only an assassin and not a true Apprentice and Vos pointed out that Maul never actually agreed to be taught and Obi-Wan declared his lack of Sithly-ness yet again…
Every single one of them is carefully noting down the insults though. Once the trophy contest resume ‘So-and-so’ is going DOWN. THEY WILL RUE THEIR INSOLENCE!!! RUE!!!!!! As you can imagine, the trophy becomes several magnitudes worse in the months following SALT events.
Dooku tells himself that such things are a healthy part of being a Sith. However, sometimes it all becomes too much even for a Sith Master who thrives on strong and chaotic emotions. At these times he sets booby traps individually for each apprentice and then suspends them all from his livingroom ceiling by their toes until they’ve settled down. The apprentices HATE upside-down time. Dooku loves it.
“Revenge is not the Jedi way.”
Star Wars - Rogue One Adaptation covers