Absolutely Virginia

Lifestyle blogger. Wannabe Yogi. Bibliophile. Lover of health, fitness and psychology. Living the good life with the love of my life and my two cats.

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Currently Reading

“Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World” by The Dalai Lama

“Eyeless in Gaza” by  Aldous Huxley

I may be doing book reviews on these soon!

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New Year, New Intentions.

Hello to the blogging world! I have not posted on here in quite some time. Life happened, the holidays happened, and I got married.

I want to work at posting more often on here. I enjoy my blog and looking at other people’s blogs. It can be very inspirational. Every year it is perpetuated that everyone needs to have resolutions. I like making resolutions but, I dislike the idea of them being set in stone or people shame you when you fail. We should be lifting each other up with our interactions. If you see a friend or family member struggling with their new years resolutions or lifestyle changes encourage them anyway you can.

My new years intentions are the following:

1) Budget.

I have been consistently working on building a workable budget plan for my husband and I. Things that have worked for me so far are budgeting a set amount of money for ‘fun’ expenses (dining out, going to the movies, etc.) and do not go past it. Make it reasonable but not excessive.

2) Cleaning schedule

When you work from home or are a stay at home wife or mother and lack motivations sometimes in your housework schedule it is good to create a plan. I made a list to break down certain cleaning tasks for certain days so I do not become overwhelmed when I have errands to run.

3) Fitness and Health

I have done well at staying relatively healthy within the past few years. I want to be better at making healthy food choices. I want to make an intention of exercising at least 4 days a week for 30 minutes a day. I would also like to go on walks in the mornings or evenings with my husband. I am setting an intention to meditate more as well. I want to read more often and challenge my brain. Mental health is just as important as physical health.

I have quite a few more but these are my top three.

Behavior is a difficult thing to alter but with time it can be done. Do not be discouraged if you change paths sometimes you can pick it up again.

[ahomeland]

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I am re-posting this because I believe it is important. Important why?  It is important because many people view homemaking as a character flaw or a last resort. In modern America, women are expected to almost automatically want to be lifelong career women now. Of course, if it is necessary and something you are passionate about then it is clear what your path would be. Yet, I feel now there is an unspoken disapproval of women who actively choose to become homemakers especially if they are educated and have had careers in the past. Where and why is this disapproval coming about? Jealousy among women? It is a complex issue. Homemaking is not an excuse to lounge around all day and eat cake. Yes, being a homemaker allows someone to have more 'off' days than if they were formally employed. Why is that an issue?

I recently have become a homemaker. I love it. Why? Before when I would get off from working a 9-10 hour day I would be full of dread and negativity. I would have the mentality that everything was a 'chore' and that I did not deserve to have to care for my home when I worked so much. Honestly, I did not look at my home in the same way as I do now. Now, I have time and energy to focus on cultivating the best home environment. I must say it is a work in progress. Some days I do worse than others. It makes me proud to know that I have the patience and time to plan more homemade meals and that my home is cozy and tidied for myself and my fiancee'.

I feel like the sentiment in this vintage poster is lost in modern United States, overall. Whatever you do no matter how small it may seem do it with love, passion and commitment.

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Gratitude & Having a Positive Mind Set.

Recently with all the election coverage it has put me in a negative mindset particularly after reading postings from friends and family that I may disagree with. Things have gotten out of hand in my mind. Reading these things really puts me in a negative or hateful mindset. This past summer I made it a goal of mine to stay off of social media and Youtube. Many of my friends could not see how this was harmful. For me when I consume media it is an all day event. I start on one video and end up watching a dozen. I become mindless, not tapped into my own thought processes. I have strayed from this goal but I want to try again. So after this blog post I am going to set up the remainder of day with things I need to accomplish and more grounding forms of entertainment or points of focus. What does that usually include for me? Positive journaling, or journaling in general, yoga or pilates, meditation, listening to calming music, or reading. I write this because I hope that others who feel like they are eaten up with consuming media can feel like they are not alone. Breaking a habit good or bad is difficult and takes time, and self-reflection.

My one positive note for the day: Never give up on your dreams or ideals on how to live your life even if you fall short on those ideals on a daily basis.

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When arevyou getting merried?

Soon! December 2016.

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Stresses of Wedding Planning

I am here to post about what has been a major part of my life recently. Regardless if you planning a large wedding, small wedding, or getting married at a courthouse/city hall planning for your wedding can be stressful. I hope that I can talk about a few key reoccurring issues that have come up in my wedding planning and also why I chose my wedding plans.

First thing to keep in mind. This is you and your partner’s day. It is funny how so many loved ones will tell you this yet, will interject their opinions about what to do. I have disappointed some family members with my plans but ultimately they have accepted it.  It is very difficult to tell family members your plans especially if you try to please others like I do.

Bottom line: If you seek wedding planning advice talk to your partner and an objective third party person. Family will typically just say what they want you to do.

I considered a more traditional wedding ceremony but I came to realize that was merely a ideal that was embedded in my head by tradition and media. I realized that having so many extended family members watch me exchange vows and share one of the most intimate moments of my life was unauthentic to my introverted nature. I decided on only having my parents at the wedding. I could have not had them there but having my dad is important to me(and him.)

Bottom Line: Be realistic about the amount of people you want to attend to the ceremony. This is not only important for your budget but for your personality type.

Ultimately, talk with your partner! Thankfully my partner wants exactly what I want so things have gone smoothly between us. The hard part was explaining our wishes to extended family.

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Reflection.

Recently my father had a minor heart attack. It has forced me to think about how temporary life is. It has inspired me to be mindful of what I am eating, doing, and all other health related habits. I am very concerned with heart health more than ever. I don’t know if heart disease has a genetic component in my family but, it is most certainly a lifestyle issue for my father. Therefore, I must be proactive in my lifestyle. Recently, I had taken on a mentality of more flexible eating yet, I have used it as an excuse to not care about healthy eating at all. Moderation in diet should be moderation and not adding more unhealthy foods to your diet until you know longer continue the other healthy habits. This has seemed to occur in my life over the past few months. It has a lot to do with stress but once managing the stress I can refocus.

Things that I am doing to help myself include:

1) Making sure I eat my veggies. I am guilty of going a whole day with eating one serving of proper veg.

2) Exercise/ Staying active!  I try not to sit too much. Even when I am on the computer I try to sit for 15 minutes and then stand for 15 minutes and so on.

3) Making meals at home! I am guilty going for take out more often than I should. Its not good for my health and not good for my wallet!

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Rant: ‘Terrible Twos‘

A pet peeve of mine, call it political correctness or what have you, is when a mother, parent, caregiver, family member, etc describes a child as being in their ‘terrible twos’ stage. It is especially unsavory when said child is in the presence of the individual when it is being said. I am so frustrated with the lack of knowledge individuals have these days. Living in the United States, most people have no legitimate excuse as to why they cannot research something, go to their local library, etc. There is no perfect way to parenting or interacting with children yet, people cling to social norms and stereotypes they hear and use them as fact. I have encountered this recently, with whom I will not divulge, they were saying in front of the child to me ‘what do you think about my (child?) *I am using this word because I do not want to say if it is a boy or girl child. Before I could reply she starts rambling to me and another adult in the room about how the child is experiencing ‘terrible twos’ and as well as some other adjectives I cannot remember exactly but correlate with this ‘terrible twos’ description. Thankfully, I had the gumption to disagree with her. According to science and child development she is wrong. I knew before hand that this young woman knows little to nothing about child development and it would take much more time than one sentence to get her to wrap her head around the science.

I felt like I needed to just put this out there.

Any other people out there with a psychology background, etc that encounter something like this? Maybe I am overly sensitized because I have some knowledge of child development.

Alas, I think this shall be my one and only rant. I do not want this blog to be a negative place.

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Current Reading List.

Hello!

 I have been MIA recently. I wanted to post my current reading list which includes:

1) “The Tenant of Wildfell Hall” by Anne Bronte

2) “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl

3) “Animal Farm” by George Orwell

4) “Summer for the Gods: The Scopes Trial and America’s Continuing Debate Over Science and Religion” by Edward J. Larson

I may do an in depth review of these. Like this post if you are interested.

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I’m back.

I’m back.. New updates to come!

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When you get this, reply with five things that make you happy, then send this to the last ten people you have notes from in your activity :). (I'm not crazy about chain messages, but it might be fun.)

Five things that make me happy:

1. My fiancé

2. My cats

3. Reading and learning in general

4. Yoga

5. The other small amount of significant people in my life.

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Book Review: “The Greatest Show On Earth” by Richard Dawkins

 I have not finished reading this book in it’s entirety I can say overall this is an interesting read. I can see this book being difficult for individuals to digest who have no previous exposure to biology or university level and beyond writings. I had to dig into my subconscious to remember some things from biology. Nevertheless, if you want an intriguing and stimulating read pertaining to biology, natural selection, artificial selection and evolution then this is the book for you!

One particular statistic struck me with awe though. 40% of Americans believe that the earth was created 10,000 years ago regardless of the science that describes otherwise.

That’s all for now.

xo,

Absolutely Virginia

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Surreal moments & Pondering on Consciousness

Do you any of you ever have moments of profound sense of hyper-reality or a sense of profound awe or the magnitude of reality hit you all at once? You are not alone. I have come to realize that this is not an occurrence that happens to everyone. This shocks me because I can only assume because I experience this in life sometimes that others may as well. Try explaining those moments to them it is very difficult. It reestablishes the fact that many things although they are human experiences cannot be portray to other humans unless they were to be transplanted into your state of consciousness. I have these occurrences naturally but perhaps through mindfulness and meditation those individuals could experience this.

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Thoughts.

I have been MIA because I am kind of at a stand still for some blog ideas. Should I do more “What I Ate” posts, book reviews or fitness posts? What do you guys think?

I would appreciate the input.

xo, Absolutely Virginia

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Reading list. Stay tuned for book reviews. #bibliophile #books #readinglist

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Book Review: “Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea” by Barbara Demick

First off let me say that this book was so captivating. I felt as though I was transported into North Korea as a fly on the wall. I have seen many documentaries about North Korea but none of them capture the horror and truth as much as this book does. This book entails stories of survival and an in depth look at the psychological condition of the North Korean people. These people are strong. This book certainly shows socialism gone wrong. Way wrong. I do not want to give too much away because I want you to read it for yourself.

I certainly hope that one day all of North Korea is free. Free from the evil that has haunted them for generations.

I would give this book a 9/10.

Have a good day,

Absolutely Virginia

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#mindfulness #currentlyreading