Academic Lemonade @academiclemonade - Tumblr Blog

Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky

official-kircheis

9cl

Guess i cant do shit anymore Cause the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides... And yep, you guessed it: a dark wind blows.

hailed-marys

how to get out of your own way

nebulations

[ID: A Project Hail Mary comic. (Edit: OP kindly added this ID to the og post, so please go reblog from there instead!!) Grace is frowning as he works on a report, and Carl asks from offscreen, "Have you ever thought about getting out of your own way?" Grace, confused: "Huh?" Carl, unimpressed: "You're smart, man, but you cut yourself off halfway through all your sentences. Why?"

Grace hunches in and says, "Guess I was bullied a lot growing up, haha-" Carl cuts in. "So was I." Grace: "What? Really?" Carl pops Skittles in his mouth as he replies, "I grew up fat and black, I got my fair share of shit. Sure, it got to me, but I came around to the idea that those teenage dipshits were wrong about me. What's your excuse, man?"

Grace says uncomfortably, "I never- Uh. I, well-" Carl looks very unimpressed and says, "See? You're doing it again. Say what you mean to say." Grace slumps. "I guess I never thought about it that way." Carl: "Yeah. I know. That's why I said it. Get out of your own damn way."

We see the first panel in color: Grace floating outside the Hail Mary, surrounded by the red glow of Astrophage, as Carl says, "And once you do that? Hoo, man. You'll be unstoppable."

Back to black and white, Grace smiles emotionally and says, "Thanks, Carl." Carl stands up to leave and points at his paper. "Remember, Stratt wants that report by end of day." Grace hunches again and scowls, "Thank you, Carl." End ID]

jeremyjohnirons

tangled gave us so much, but mostly it gave us the beautiful and intense love of a horse and the man he is chasing in order to imprison

roach-works

i personally believe that maximus was the former captain of the guard who was cursed into horse form pretty recently, and everyone’s having trouble adjusting to it.

like, he’s entitled to sick leave, he really ought to take a couple months to break the curse and come to terms with whatever the fuck just happened to him, but instead of embarking on a journey of self-discovery and healing he just keeps showing up to work. no one can get captain maximus to go on his fucking voyage of self actualization and fix the curse because he’s obsessed with catching flinn ryder. everyone really fucking hopes that when he finally catches this guy the curse might be broken anyway, but it isn’t.

he just keeps showing up to work. he glares at the stablehands until they saddle him up. everyone’s gone over the regulations a dozen times but there’s nothing there saying you’re not allowed to saddle and ride the captain of the guard if he makes you do it. his former second in command rides him around like ‘sir i really don’t know about this’ and he’s just like ‘are we going to catch some criminals or what.’

you can see in the movie that everyone in the royal guard defers to this horse. it’s absolutely because that’s their boss. and secondarily because now he’s two thousand pounds of percheron.

there is no evidence against this theory and you cannot prove me wrong.

ekjohnston

This is pretty much the only fanon idea I have ever decided to hold personally true. I love it. It is the best.

necromancelena

I like that she looks anxious and on edge

necromancelena

she looks like she'd say "jeepers!"

necromancelena

hey spit that out! drop it! hey!

laterkiss

happy pride to my favourite post on reddit

memorycycle

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

notkatniss

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing

pansyfemme

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

venatoris

i made this image for the express purpose of this

zer0caffeine

Original post by @morallygrayautisticscientist here, this post was so funny I decided to draw it lol.

Panel by panel below:

my-gender-is

My gender is Homosexula

theprideful-deactivated20251201

And they’re all Vlad

‎

im obsessed

oh, of course. because he died for our sins.

no-one-offical

‎

butch-king-frankenstein

great minds think of dykes

throathole

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

anariel-the-elrond-apologist

I’ve seen quite a few of these in my time, but this one takes the cake.

throathole

This is fucking killing me

Golp: a roundel purpure.

Repeat this to yourself until it begins to have meaning

a-book-of-creatures

Okay then since some of you need to be reminded of this:

Roundels are circles in heraldry. They are named according to their color, which also has its own lingo. Let’s meet them!

Bezant: roundel or (gold) 🟡

Plate: roundel argent (silver) ⚪️

Torteau: roundel gules (red) 🔴

Pomme: roundel vert (green) 🟢

Hurt: roundel azure (blue) 🔵

Golp: roundel purpure (purple) 🟣

Pellet: roundel sable (black) ⚫️

If your field is strewn with roundels, you can describe it appropriately as being bezanty, hurty, golpy, and so on.

cognitohazardous

unyieldingsilence

‎

ramshacklefey

Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.

I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."

As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.

Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.

A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.

As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"

Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.

You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.

It was not.

It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.

And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.

This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.

After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.

None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.

With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.

Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.

"Phyllis," said he.

The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.

"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"

Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.

Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.

Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."

prokopetz

Game where the ancient hero is awakened from the deathless sleep of centuries in the hour of their people's greatest need, only to find that civilisation is thriving and there are no obvious threats on the horizon; the game then becomes a fish-out-of-water detective sim as they try to figure out what woke them up, and also solve other, smaller mysteries along the way.

nearo

boymounter

itsza

having a threesome isnt going to solve any of their problems but they should do it anyway

nonelvis

#hey hey hey #this is unfair! #it absolutely *will* solve that persistent erection and potentially the short-term horniness #in exchange it will introduce about twenty-seven new problems #including bangers such as: #can't stop thinking about it #do i have... feelings?? about BOTH of them???? i didn't ask for this! #lingering sense of guilt #the conviction that it meant way more to one of them than it did to the other two #arousal that kicks up every time one of them gets too close... or sees the other two getting too close #newfound envy of the relationship that the other two have #distributing yet erotic dreams #feeling rejected #feeling used #feeling manipulated #feeling like they liked feeling used or manipulated and not sure what to do about it #feeling left out #intimacies that can't be unknown (that you'd have to pry from their cold dead hands) #laundry #THE LIST GOES ON