pumpkin (🍮)
Yes love pumpkins specially jack o lanterns and Halloween-fall stuff our current interest atm uwu
-Blurry
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pumpkin (🍮)
Yes love pumpkins specially jack o lanterns and Halloween-fall stuff our current interest atm uwu
-Blurry
Can someone give us any recommendations of good endo friendly server that's non toxic n such? We feel lonely and bored
I saw you said you struggle with finding discord servers. We have one that's pro-endo all origins and identities accepted.
Your post said AM? Like I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream? If so, how do you feel about humans now in the context of systems and that they can now identify as anything they want?
We may like to join it ..
And yes they from ihnmaims and I think they are unsure they could be different from og canon uh yeah we don't know how to answer that question
PSA: DO NOT USE FLORALITY. THEY THINK THAT ENDOGENIC SYSTEMS ARE DELUSIONS, WHICH IS LITERALLY BIGOTED NOT ONLY TO PEOPLE WITH SPIRITUAL AND OTHERWISE NON-TRAUMA PLURALITY, BUT TO PEOPLE WITH ACTUAL PSYCHOSIS. WHAT THE FUCK?
Okay so.. have you guys ever met a full on Endogenic totally non traumagenic system?? I literally haven’t met any. I’m sure they exist but it’s like they don’t!! (With valid reason…yk, harassment and stuff)
- 🍓⚰️
Hmmm tsk maybe? We unsure or can't remember ... I know y'all say full on but we like to admit we endogenic ina way along other origins but I'm sure there some out there prob hiding cause fucking anti endos who whines about our experiences and I bet they against polyfrag systems but idk hm
i definitely understand that server vibe issue, i have it myself due to having bad experiences with a couple, so i made one myself but that’s besides the point
how are you?? hope you’re doing well stranger ^^
We struggle with servers due to drama either from us (not purposely) or other ppl so we try to distant ourselves from servers for our mental health sake but we feel alone in discord cause there only few close friends we feel comfortable talking to 😞
But I guess we ok ATM we alive ...but we easily get overwhelmed and have server anxiety (can't get any meds for that cause we don't have insurance)
-blurry/Masking(idk atp)
Do (any of) you ever get exo-memories ?
And
Do you have a favourite dessert ?
OH! this is fun one uhhhh tbf on first question that's hard one to ask since there so many of us ...but we are unsure🤔
And 2nd one we collectively love ice cream from DQ the way they make soft serve ice cream it's sooo good,we don't mind stor bought ice cream but soft serve from DQ always best for us. OFC WE LIKE CAKE as well -thinking- milkshakes,smoothies,ig anything sweet tho there diff flavors we like not just ANY ):P
-AM(?)
"I can't trust servers every time I look through em on disboard I get ill vibes
Realrealrealrealrealrealreal
Anything you'd like to ramble about in particular?
Well....that's a good question
We usually like to ramble about our interests or our plurality (can I know someone will give a fuck instead being fakeclaim lol) btw good morning
-AM(?)
Can someone send us asks I'm AM bored and I can't trust servers every time I look through em on disboard I get ill vibes ... could be our anxiety but we always trusting our gut
Also ask could be anything we like to ramble
-A.M(?)
the lack of discussion about polyfragmented systems, especially very very big polyfragmented systems, is honestly really disappointing. like yeah we made that post about folks with infinite members and such but that is the only time we've seen something like that.
when all you see about your existence is how annoying or difficult or unmanageable it must be, it gets grating. we have NEVER seen a polyfrag post get anywhere close to our amount of members, because apparently anything over 1,500 is completely unmentionable. and even then, polyfragmented medians, spiritual systems, or people who have always been polyfrag are just not talked about.
our most modest estimate is that we have 100,000 members. our more accurate estimate is probably around 500,000. and there is systems who are WAY larger than this, somebody reading this is probably pushing the concept of infinity to a newfound limit!
outside of community spaces, the medical journals about polyfragmentation are so clinical, exclusive, and honestly inaccurate a lot of the time. there's more to multiplicity than just hosts and protectors and persecutors and fully-fledged people who can still somehow be boiled down to a convenient, palatable archetype. (i have thoughts on roles but that will be another post)
so many systems don't or can't have defined or consistent roles, origins, identities, internal communication, switches, structure, innerworlds, amnesia, opinions, etc (or have these things at all!!!) and expecting polyfrag systems to fit into the already narrow and stigmatized definition of what you think a system should be is honestly just plain screwed up.
this is messy and there's a lot more i want to say, but mecfs is kicking my ass, so...
to very large polyfragmented systems: please talk about your experiences. tag rambling highly encouraged!!!
We a mixed origin DID polyfrag system I thought I keep losing my headmates and form new ones but apparently not and it seemssome of us just go dormant and keep splitting newer ones it's hard for us to keep in track and communicate properly idk how many we have now but I know there like around thousands and we been fakeclaim cause of high number before! It's unfair TwT
Also we still upset that simply plural is gone istg we can't just write ts down on PAPER!! And anti endos piss us off so bad aughh
A message to anyone suffering from POCD:
- You are not a monster
- You are not evil
- You deserve kind things
- You deserve sympathy and empathy
- I love you /p, and I hope you show yourself some love today.
Ramble jamble
I know this blog prob gonna full of vents and rambling but we lonely and want other ppl to hear us...alot stuff going on mentally easily stress and such and our plurality feels different then any other normal sys experience... questioning if we really are spiritual in some way still pretty sure we have did but how we exist is complicated.... Atp we wanna just stop stressing about our roles and such and just exist cause it's rlly draining for us... sometimes we questioning if we have did or not ...I wish being plural isn't force to put into one label... needing diagnosed,trauma only bla bla bla bla like it rlly hard for us to fit in the did community cause they be hateful towards mix origins or that u don't fit in what they in if that make sense. Idk what else to say
-Unknown
Lil update cause why not
So yk when core say we fuse n such? Well we fuse again after awhile due to ...alot stress so now we here starting over again and we gonna try to avoid stressful stuff and such 😅 also the core finally went dormant again so hopefully can help them feel more relax and not be so stressed!
Also new theme on blog is coming soon
Not gonna tag post did cause we don't like the community that much anymore (and yes we do have DID)
-blurry
Quick rant
I hate current Tumblr fyp atm anti Endos getting on my nerves HEY AS A MIXED ORGIN SYS WE NOT HURTING U HELL WE STAYING AWAY FROM DID COMMUNITY DUE TO ALL THE HATE AND YES WE .ARE.DISORDER
YALL PRAISE TO NOT FAKECLAIMED WHEN Y'ALL BITCHES WHINE CAUSE OUR EXISTENCE WE GET IT BEING A SYSTEM HARD WE STRUGGLE SOMETIMES AS WELL BUT IT DOESN'T GIVE A FUCKING RIGHT FOR YOU YO JUDGE OTHERS EXPERIENCE
AND ANOTHER THING IF ONE ENDO HURTS U IT DOESN'T MEAN THE WHOLE ASS COMMUNITY IS SHITTY BLAME THE PERSON NOT ALL OF US!!!
Tired of us trying to be kind JFC
- Anonymous alter
Thoughts on the rq community
I feel like we should rant about this community cause idk...we want people not to harrassed them (as a ex radqueer) but here goes nothing
We are aware the community is very problematic and such our stance still unknown but even as a ex radqueer we still try to see like the positive side like the reasons why they be in this community then just outright call them a pedos and harassing and other bad stuff. For us we use to identify as trace cause spiritual reasons and use label transBPD and DID and other labels cause ...idk how to properly explain it but the intentions were good...we didnt mind people use are transAutisic cause I know some people use that label cause they have hard time getting diagnosis or unable too. Now even as a ex radqueer we hate some antis cause alot antis are very mean and aggressive and hell one literally leak pics of one certain user and we ALL KNOW THATS FUCKED UP anti or rq it's highly disgusting no one should go through that bullshit. I feel like people should try to understand radqueers instead plain out harassing, doxxing, making call out vids, ect ect. I also like to think reason why some people are radqueer cause problemly going through alot mentally and try to be in a community where they feel vailed I heard some use labels to reclaimed (like reclaimed their truama?). Now do we believe the community is a cult? Not really imo this isn't what a cult is and we seen documentaries on cults. As a ex radqueer I want people to not harrassed radqueers and para community even tho we don't agree on some stuff in said communities we still chose to be anti harassment cause we not that kind of being to mean plus we been harrassed before and keep being called a p-do even tho we not into yk...it's hurt to be accuse such thing cause I was a victim as a kid and I'm sure people in rq community prob been a victim of some point as well.
If you are anti I want you to please please try to show some empathy and understanding to the community cause no one deserves to be harassed. We all human at the end of the day and the world is already in the gutter so why chose to doxx or be jackass and send anon hates n such. Spread kindness not hate if someone did something really bad that's that's when u may need to like call out on but just don't see a radqueer and call them a creep n shit ... just block and move on...it's easy please?
If you made it this far tysm/gen
Sad update
I been crying for couple hours and just lost...but um everyone fuse...due to alot stressed from stuff let's just say that...but it's been almost 6 years since I discovered that I'm plural and I gain alot bond with them in best way possible.... without them I been prob in worser state over last few years been rough for me (long story) and I been dormant for few months before this happened....
Now I know alot people say it's not fun to be a system your alters not yours friends and such and bla bla bla bla...but y'all don't get how they are literally family to some people..they are family to me they care about me alot ....they try their best to make sure I'm am loved and vailed cause we been fakeclaim and got called delusional before which made me doubt ourselves....but it sucks I don't feel safe In did community cause alot of em r anti Endo one send us anon hate...which I'm glad one of us reply maturely....
But now I feel like a...idk ...I'm literally lost and I know they not gonna come back cause they confirmed that median system we have gonna be main system now....which now I gotta learn how to work with that since medians are way different then multiple 😮💨 ...and I recently lost a friend on top that (they are not dead)...
I have no idea what to do on this blog tbf idk what aesthetic that we wanna go to...I heard one of us from median system gonna be protector until the median system comes back...
But yeah I'm having rough night I can't see character from said source cause it'll remind me of them...also idk what to call myself anymore...idk if I have did still or osdd or ... something
Antis/fakeclaimers touch this post and I'll fucking bite idfc about being nice atm I'm going through a lot 🖕
Empty system culture is “I loved you, sorry, and I love you. Thank you for everything”
ㅤ
Unsure if this is us(?) but this is very relatable cause we starting to fuse and things slowly start to feel more empty 😢