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1.        Life is bumpy, but we are given excellent shock absorbers

2.       You can second guess your life….. but only do it once and move on

3.       Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone

4.       Over prepare, under self-doubt, go with the flow

5.       However good or bad a situation is, it will change

6.       Going after possibilities will test your true potential

7.       Believe and anticipate the best is yet to come

- Dr. Wu, NYMC Professor of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology

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“I wish talking about mental health, and having classmates check up on each other, was more of a “thing”. Sometimes a person doing something as small as leaving a goodie bag. Or sending a text can make a big difference.”

- Medical student

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“I’ve been isolated from my friends and family because of it. Making it hard to keep long standing relationships.”

- Anonymous 

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Part 1/3

“Putting it mildly, I did not grow up in the ideal family setting. As one of three sons, I am the only one in my family who went to college. That did not help family dynamics. Later, I experienced the death of a child when I was 33 years old, 2 years out of residency. He had Down’s Syndrome and a heart defect, truncus arteriosus to be exact. Our 10-month old son passed away the day after the attempt at corrective surgery. I was in a new area, trying to set up my practice, wife and remaining 3-year old son in tow. I literally lived minute by minute at first. Just keep going. Then hour by hour. Just keep going. Just think of something else for a fraction of a second. Day by day, then week by week…now writing this. By all external measures I have done well and am happy with where I am and what I have accomplished. What got me through?”

- Dr. Peters, general surgeon/anatomy professor

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Part 2/3

“A story. Shortly after my son’s death, at the end of a hard day in my office, I came home to find my wife wiping away tears.  She had been sad through the day and my 3-year old son, seeing his mother in distress, cuddled her face gently with his hands, looked her in the eyes, and said softly, “just play with me.”  The tears were not tears of despair, but, rather, tears of joy or hope for the reminder of what she, we, still had.  We have gone on to have 4 more children after that.  My family is the most important thing to me, choose wisely.      

What I began to realize immediately was how affected others were, how uncomfortable they were with expressing their grief for me.  I passed a colleague in the E.R. shortly after my son’s death.  We came face to face and he stopped, looked at me, and said he was sorry to hear what had happened and said, “it’s kind of like falling off a horse…”  Yes, his exact words.  I know what he was trying to say.  Life goes on, blah, blah, blah….  I could see how sad and concerned he was so I rose above and took the opportunity to offer him comfort.  Without missing a beat I promptly responded, in a dull flat tone and with a completely straight face, “are you calling my wife a horse?”  It was as if I had thrown a cold glass of water in his face.  In that same breath I told him I was kidding, knew what he meant.  His apparent relief was more in seeing I was okay than letting him off the hook for my retort.  We had a nice conversation, and our friendship grew from there.”

- Dr. Peters, general surgeon/anatomy professor

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Part 3/3

“I have been in the unfortunate position of providing grief counseling to a few colleagues over the years upon the loss of their children.  What always amazed me was the number of people who would approach me and say, "you've been through this, you should talk to them..." or, "we told them they should talk to you" - like I was the guru of how to deal with the loss of a child.  I do not think they realized how insensitive they were or even considered how that suggestion might adversely affect me.  I let it pass.  You have to.  What I tell people is that no one can tell them how they should grieve or feel, that it is a very personal process but it has to happen.  The hurt never goes away, but it can be compartmentalized and the initial impact will lessen over time - they should not dwell and they should not feel guilty if they find themselves thinking about something else for a fraction of a second, or a day, or a week.  If it comes to mind, they should stop, think about it because it's there, then, move on, restart the clock - go to the next second, then the next minute, then....  I think this applies to a lot of what we experience be it anxiety, depression, or whatever.  It is not always easy but it won't happen unless you try.  And the longer you wait, the harder or more impossible it becomes.  If you can't do this, seek help.  There is no shame in that.  It is your responsibility to you and yours to someone who you see having trouble.  I had family.  Family does not have to be blood relatives.”

- Dr. Peters, general surgeon/anatomy professor

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“I often feel that people don’t really know how I feel about myself. Often times people telling me how good I am at something only makes me feel like more of an imposter. What people say to me rarely makes me feel better about a situation.”

- Medical student, 26

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“Hold on to your convictions, but always be growing.”

- Anonymous, 25

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“Over the years, I have heard many complaints from freshman medical students regarding frustrations and their inability to adapt quickly to the rigors of medical school stress, loneliness, anxiety, and sometimes sheer depression. After lengthy talks with many students, I believe these frustrations and stresses emerge from the following situations: for many students, it’s the first time they are away from a home environment - family, friends, and loved ones. Adapting to new environments takes a longer time for some, especially those from far away.

Here are a few suggestions that will help in coping with new environments.

A) Begin regular exercising (a must for mental health) and stay healthy. Yoga is great for this.

B) Get to know your strengths and weaknesses and get involved immediately in an activity with other students.

C) If you are religious, seek out an affinity group.

D) Build new relationships and friendships. This helps immeasurable in dealing with stress. 

It will be of significant benefit if these practices are in place before your medical school classes begin. Arrive on campus even before the orientation week to get familiar with the surroundings and get to know people. When classes begin, sometimes students feel stressed about talking directly with members of the faculty. Do not hesitate. Our doors are always open. A frank talk about your anxieties may help resolve them.

If you still feel stressed, please seek advice from mental health professionals through the dean’s office. Above all, be honest with yourself. You can improve your learning environment and develop habits and practices that will render medical school studies not that hard. You will learn to enjoy it.”

- Dr. Sharma, NYMC

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“All successful people have failed at some point in their lives. It is OK to fall down, because we work hard to get back up.

Seek friends outside of medical school - people who you can talk to about life, without the worries that they may be competing with you.

Talk. A lot. To family, friends, and everyone around you. Get help when you need it.

Breathe. Everyone gets through this, and so will you. This isn’t end all and be all. People everywhere have your back and are rooting for you, and want what is best for you.”

- Anonymous

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“Smile, it will make you feel better.”

:)

- Anonymous

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“That everyone has their demons, so we can all relate to each other if you shed enough layers and preconceived notions. That all I (we?) really want is to connect. I know what I should do when confronted with the mental health issues. What I wanted was for someone to sit next to me and build a blanket fort; just be there. No words necessary.”

- Anonymous

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“It’s usually not helpful for me to isolate or stay by myself. My negative thoughts can turn into a spiral that feeds on itself.”

- NYMC medical student

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“You are not alone. Help is always available. And choosing to upkeep your mental hygiene is an essential life skill.”

- Medical student, Valhalla, 26

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“I wish more people knew about mental illness. 

I am college educated and not in any way unintelligent, but before I had these issues, I knew almost nothing about mental illness or mental health, so for most other people that know even less than I did, I wish society as a whole wasn’t so ignorant about these issues.”

- Student

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“Everyone will have different methods for dealing with things. For some people, one kind of medication works well. For others, a different is better. For other people, perhaps therapy is all they need, and there are many kinds of therapy, things to work on, etc. Mental health is kind of an art and a science.”

- Student, 24

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“Medication didn’t particularly work for me, I tried three different anxiety/depression medications but the side effects were too strong for me to continue even past a few days, and they had some really negative impacts on other things not related to mood, like my vision. I didn’t have a lot of luck with therapy either because I have a lot of physical health issues that contribute to my mental health issues. 

For example, I feel really tired and get “brain fog” for hours after I exercise, which is really frustrating to me as I still do try to exercise 3-5 times a week, but results in a lot of loss of time when I’m not as cognitively sharp for hours following exercising. These issues are not because I’m stressed or anything like that, and because I’m not sure where some of my problems begin or end on the mental/physical health spectrum, or if they’re due to brain chemistry, neurology, etc.

It can be hard to work things through with a therapist in my specific case. For now, I think the best thing that I’ve tried to do is just accept some of my health problems that I have and try to ignore them, obviously easier said than done in the middle of a panic attack.”

- Master’s student, 24