A trauma bond is essentially the process through which you begin to confuse abusive behavior for love. You’re drawn to your partner not because you’re meant to be together, but because you are both wounded in a specific way. In healthy love, your affection for one another grows over time. In a trauma bond, it’s instantaneous because it’s not love, it’s an idea of love that makes you feel better about a preexisting issue in your life. Perhaps you need an attachment figure to feel secure about your future, and your partner needs a person to be obsessively in love with them to validate their sense of self. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you’re in a trauma bond relationship, it’s often because you and your partner are drawn to each other by your shadow selves. That’s what makes the relationship feel so irresistible. Eventually, the cracks in that unstable foundation begin to show themselves. When you’re in a trauma bond, you require your partner to fulfill a certain idea you have about who they need to be. The more time you spend with a person, the more you get to see who they really are. When they do not live up to that, you lash out at them, because it’s triggering your inner wound. This starts a cycle that can be really hard to break. First, you’re “love bombed,” or showered with over-the-top displays of attraction, affection, and passion. You’re made to feel like the most special person in the world. Then when you cannot live up to that very particular set of standards your partner has set for you, you’re punished for it. You are, at the same time, insulted, berated, and made to feel as though you’re worthless and will never be good enough. Moving between such emotional extremes often results in a neurochemical bonding. Similar to Stockholm syndrome, you begin to get even more attached to this person, the intensity seeming to only solidify how magical and fated your relationship is. Though these relationships often end quickly, they can sometimes carry on for extended periods of time, and almost always cause serious psychological damage. Even if the person is no longer in your life, the obsession with them can linger for years, and hinder future relationships. (at Nashik) https://www.instagram.com/p/CK6urtNHwx4/?igshid=1huvs2anjg7y7
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