Monsters & Machines

kez | adult | she/her

[admircot]

> Something comforting (carrd link) > Art is RB’d here :) > My art tag is fuckin uhhhh.  #drawlings > Generally 16+ yknow humor wise, so I’d be a lot more comfortable if you didn’t follow me if you are younger

[admircot]

its fucked that girl (spacebar) dad is an established term for a man who does normal shit for his family. aka that icky yucky housework only for moms + and is also sensitive and nice. because i fuck with it heavily but i dont mean it in that way. its not about that at all. girldad was made for queen deltarune by her adopted son or whatever he is. my girl whos a father

[catmask]

by the way. it never is too late to decide you want to be happy. the woman who helped me get hormones didnt start hers until she was 70, and i met her at 73, beautiful and smiling - and told me that the last three years of her life had been her favorite. your favorites might be ahead of you too. why not hang around and find out?

[ot3]

i think out of disrespect we should just start using "spamtenna moment" as shorthand for when a nothing tier yaoi ships between side characters somehow manages to eclipse in fandom popularity all of the central character relations of both the main cast and the rest of the side characters that aren't men. i think this should become such a widespread and entrenched form of fandom lingo for insulting ships that the next generation of teens will grow up understanding its meaning and not its origins in the same way teens of my generation used adjective!character parlance long before ever learning what bang paths were.

[6mayhem]

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

[quinnactually]

that's MS. substance abuser to you

[6mayhem]

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

[mxwhore]

i call this one "nobody likes you when youre 23"

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 1 day 5 hours

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[admircot]

interesting kinship i noticed

[succubusboyfriend]

in the new campaign i’m taking part in i’m playing a warforged with a design and concept based off a ball-jointed doll and i’m getting to do the very fun character arc of “doll realizes she’s a person with emotions and after years and years of expressing nothing is suddenly experiencing all of those emotions at once”

[succubusboyfriend]

in tonight’s session she had the sudden realization that people might feel sexual attraction towards her when a beautiful butch knight flirted with her and that realization struck her like a brick to the side of the head. not in a bad way to be clear like she’s not mad or upset about it. she’s just shocked that it’s a possibility. she’s shocked it could happen at all. what do you mean people might want to get with me i’m a _doll_. also why do i want them to want to get with me.

[succubusboyfriend]

there's an ongoing gag where one of the ways she's learning to express her feelings is she has a tally of points for everyone she meets and if they do something she approves or disapproves of she will add or subtract from their total. this started out with me commenting +1 or -1 or whatever to note that she noticed something, but it evolved into her saying, "Plus one," or, "Minus one," or in one particularly bad case, "Minus twenty," out loud, in game, without ever explaining what that meant to anyone.

[succubusboyfriend]

update on this, it's no longer just a gag and i am now actually keeping a scoreboard in Trinket's notes for recurring NPCs (and player characters) that includes rough description of each dynamic + a quantifiable "Attitude" state based on PF2E's NPC Attitudes system. the dynamic descriptions get updated regularly.

[ankle-beez]

surprisingly forward-thinking of jim henson and co. to make a female character in the 70's that's allowed to be loud-mouthed and violent and kind of overwhelmingly romantic and even a huge bitch at times and not have a moment where any character asks her to change

[ankle-beez]

going through all the muppet movies in a row made me realize that like. miss piggy was made in the 70's. and it's so rare even today to have a character like her. she's loud, she's selfish, she's funny, she's extremely vain, she's obsessed with romance, she's violent, she's kind of annoying, and there's not a single moment in any of these films where she's asked to tone down any of these personality traits. i am not joking when i say that miss piggy might be one of the best treated female characters ever written

[catharticscream]

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

[raccoonmilf]

Why does my dad text like this??? Who taught him this??

[actualized-animal]

every chapter of deltarune has a secret npc who only appears if you leave and re-enter the room 1225 times while you have a bagel in your seventh inventory slot and the npc is a sentient doorknob and when you talk to them the music cuts out and they’re like “who’s that whispering in the trees, it’s two sailors and they’re on leave, pipes and chains and swinging hands, who’s your daddy, yes i am” and then within four hours there’s a thirty minute long video on youtube titled “ASGORE IS FRIEND??? DADDY THEORY EXPLAINED” and it already has 100,000 views and then a year later people call the next chapter disappointing because it was focusing too much on developing the main characters instead of explaining the doorknob guy

[circusheart]

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

[parkayquarts]

im glad we're mostly out of the "girls are so soft uwu" era. it was really hard for me to go through as a girl with a segmented carapace covered in hundreds of tiny barbs

[sandisjustsad]

Hey man Trans my formers !!!! Hah !!

We all got that one homie that can low-key annihilate us 🤣🤣‼️