Adoptees Have Voices

Send your story or questions. I go by she/they. I'm Asian-American, transracial adoptee, and I'm the only adoptee in my family(closed adoption). I can't speak for everyone. This is a place for adoptees to not feel alone.

[adoptee-voice]

So... I've been gone

SUMMARY IN HIGHLIGHT

Hey everyone. I've been super inactive for the past year or more and there's a simple reason why. I've stopped caring. I love this account that I have created and the spread of unity that has occured. My ideas of adoption hasn't really changed I think, it's just I don't care about being adopted as much as I used to. Being adopted with all of this unknowingness, or lack of knowledge of things acted as a cactus constantly pricking me. But over time, as I grew, as I came across other unrelated problems in my life, I simply stopped caring. Now adoption is less of an annoyance of "what is my plan" and more of a "yeah, that's a part of me" almost like a "faint memory". I'm not saying that this is the way to be happy with relation to being adopted. I will say that I think I am happier, it's a journey to happiness with relation to adoption that I never expected. So I'm just writing because I can. What I guess I'm saying is, go with the flow of your feelings. Also, I don't think I'll be posting anymore, however I will keep this account open and available to see.

Feel free to talk to me about it if you're curious

Have a nice rest of your day

[adoptee-moments]

Dear Adopted Kids:

You are awesome. Sometimes you don’t get the recognition you deserve or people make supid jokes about “shady” adopted kids or use adopted as an insult but you are still awesome and they don’t understand. You have the coolest backstory ever and you’re already emotionally stronger than most people! It may seem weird or annoying at times when people are all like “wait, you’re adopted???” and you’ve gotta explain but you pretty much have an opportunity to tell them about how cool your backstory is. Or if you don’t feel like it then you don’t have to tell! It’s your story and you can decide who hears it! Don’t let ignorant people tear you down for something that they don’t understand! Bottom line is you’re a warrior, the queen/king, and comepletely and utterly amazing! Have a lovely day now!

[pleaseusethisbag]

Some thoughts in black and accidental off-white

[adoptee-moments]

Adoptee Moment #14:

Person: I want to start a family at some point but I have no idea what to do…

Me:

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

[confessions-of-an-adoptee]

#126. Not knowing whether or not my biological mother is alive is strange and somewhat unsettling for me. Wherever she is, I just hope she’s in a good place.

[adoptee-voice]

For me personally my birth parents to me are just there. Like they aren't dead or alive, they are just what they are, if that makes any sense. I know that they are alive if they aren't dead, but just my feelings towards them are neutral I guess. They're like that distant uncle or cousin everyone knows but you haven't met, except nobody else knows them either.

But if I knew that they were dead or alive I would feel differently. If I knew that they're alive then I would want to find them and meet them and learn about them, but if they were dead I think I would feel a unique type of grief. Similar to the death of family members that you never personally met or knew well. Almost as though feeling like you should be devastated but you aren't and maybe you kind of hate yourself for not feeling more sad or something. But I don't know, because I'm not in that situation.

I'm just floating taking life as it comes at the moment.

Have a nice rest of your day everyone and have a nice tomorrow

Sincerely,

Ki

[lgrim-99]

Reblog if you are adopted/ are in the foster care system . I wanna know what community we have on here :)

[heryellowbird]

Adult Adoptee Support Forum

Adult Adoptees Support forum is an adoptee-centered support forum. This forum was created by adoptees, and is owned, administered and moderated by adoptees.

http://adultadopteesupport.freeforums.net/

[adoptee-voice]

This is my story. I am Cheryl Marie Bacon.

@cherie-marie

[yekkes]

I’m not against adoption but it’s quite idiotic of a lot of you to not know that you should be adequately equipped to raise your adopted child/ren that are different than you in some capacity. Just because you’re a white gay couple doesn’t mean you are equipped to know how to raise children of color. A lot of people are not equipped to raise disabled children, either. It has been repeatedly documented that white couples, gay or otherwise, abuse, neglect, and kill their adopted children of color. Additionally I think these white couples often do not account for the difficulties their adopted children of color may experience if kept away from their respective people/s/culture/s.

While this is not necessarily an equivalent comparative, I know adopted children that found out later in life that they were Jewish and were severely negatively impacted because they had been kept away from their culture, stripped of a connection to their heritage, and were not raised Jewishly. There’s also a history of Christians and Catholics stealing Jewish babies with the intention to raise them as Christians and intentionally strip them of their connection to their culture and heritage.

Forced adoption continues today as we have heard in the cases of Guatemalan children taken away from their mothers. Adoption can be a force of violence. Adoption can be damaging to the children adopted even if parents are equipped to take care of the children they adopt. Adopting a child is a very serious decision and I honestly don’t think especially white gay people consider that the needs of their adopted children, especially if they are children of color, outweigh whatever desire they have to simply have a child.

[popnkinnie]

Hey can y’all stop saying transracial isn’t real and instead just give the correct usage for it which is, y’know, for ppl who were adopted and mixed race folk who didn’t get raised with a part or certain parts of their identity acknowledged

[primadonna-ghoul]

Tfw you go to the doctor and they ask for your family medical history

[heryellowbird]

This year I found some groups on Facebook for adoptees. The people in them talk about their (birth) mom’s a lot. Nobody talks that much about their (birth) dad’s in the groups I’m in.

I don’t know why not that many people talk about you in the groups or in my life, Dad. I think about you a lot.

I grew up with a single, adoptive mom so that is probably why I think about you (dad) so much. I never had someone that was like a dad.

I don’t know who/where you are, dad.

Do you know that you have a son, dad?

It is weird to miss something that you didn’t actually have. It makes you feel crazy.

I wish I didn’t have to be adopted away from my family but I don’t really know that my life would be better or worse with or without adoption. I just know that if I wasn’t adopted I could at least know all of the stuff I don’t know.

I wish you could have stayed my dad, Dad. I have a lot of things I want to know about you and about dads.

I miss you, Dad, and I miss all of the things I don’t know about having a dad.

Dad Word Count: 12 (probably the most I ever used that word because I don’t have a reason to use it in my regular life)

This piece was submitted anonymously by a domestic adoptee living in the U.S.

[quotemadness]

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you figure out why.”

— Mark Twain

[adoptee-voice]

I will never know either...

[demonessdollie-deactivated20180]

Please stop saying you wish you were adopted

As someone who was actually adopted and still carries the psychological scars of it (I’m 23), just stop. Yeah, some people have a hell on earth family, and that comes with its own mental health issues. But please, for the love of God, stop saying you wish you were adopted.

Adoptees are riddled with their own mental health issues, especially if separated from the bio parents at a young age. We are much more prone to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Even if we are raised in a loving family, we still carry around a feeling like something is missing.

[ki-words]

I miss you

Not as if you had died

Or as if you had said goodbye to me

But as if you had just evaporated into thin air without me noticing

You just disappeared somehow, but I don’t even remember you being here

I miss you ~ k.l.c ( @ki-words )

[adopteesarevalid]

Whether or not an adoptee wants to know their biological parents/or already do, is really NONE of your business unless they’re telling you about it because you are friends and they wanna talk. Don’t ask about something this personal so casually?? Do you know how rude that is?

[brandx]

omfg THIS. <3 X