Borderline Adventures

hi. i'm a 23 year old with bpd. this is my life.

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I don't get it

Why is it trendy to be offended by literally everything these days? "Oh, I'm oppressed. You have _______ privilege". Fuck you. Stop making up pretend problems.

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I'm 24. I've seen a psychiatrist for 10 years. I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and major depressive disorder. I believe based on the current DSV definition that I have BPD. I was wondering if told your psychiatrist that you thought you had it or did they make the diagnosis themselves.

I knew I was fucked up. The official diagnosis was just the climax of years of chaos.

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When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt I was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression, but they didn't really analyze it because they were more concerned with the more severe patients. My therapist told me I showed traits for BPD before I quit going and stopped medication. My dad was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and severe anxiety, and my mom and I both agree that he probably has BPD instead. From your perspective, what are the signs? Should I try to get tested?

To my knowledge there isn't really a "test" for BPD, it's more of an assessment. Meaning, the therapist would most likely ask you a series of questions to gauge if you're high risk for the disorder or not. It's definitely worth a shot. I always found that being able to categorize my symptoms under one umbrella term has been a huge relief. People like organization.

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What medication are you on?

Lorazepam, Clonazepam & Citalopram.

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day fuckyou.

i have never in my life wished i was dead, more than i have in this moment. the pain is constant and sharp. i cannot stop crying and for the life of me have no idea what i can do to stop it. i have taken up exercising, tried not to isolate myself and stay actively involved with work, but nothing makes it better. it all stems from finding out that he's with someone else now. the mantra notgoodenoughnotgoodenoughnotgoodenough plays over and over and over in my head. my therapist says i don't love myself, and i have idealized this fantasy i have concocted out of loneliness and self-doubt. but it's just like my ex said, "who could ever love someone like you"

i am broken and damaged. i am so fucking sad and alone. i have never felt more ugly and more cold than i do at this moment. but don't worry about me, i'm too much of a pussy to ever take my own life. i will suffer in silence until the monsters inside me claim my sanity. further and further down the rabbit hole i fall.

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In case anyone was wondering. These are my valentines day plans.

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FUCK. EVERYTHING.