aelur

from argentina, living in England, married to a wonderful polish man. data engineer and computer nerd. live steel martial arts, esp sword fighting. viking reenactment. jomsborg drengr fighting eastern and huscarl. artist, vintage fashion and decor lover. neoplatonist pagan.

[aelianur]

Some pics of sletten, denmark. Its great to not have public in an event for once

[aelianur]

At trelleborg, denmark

[aelianur]

This world cup has seen a rise in anti-argentinian xenophobia online, and while I think it's mostly bots paid by betting apps so that people will bet against Argentina, the people who are falling for it end up honestly crying out for "embargos" against Argentina and for us to get bombed/killed etc.

As an argentinian, first and foremost I don't think any americans should open their mouths about any latin american country (because of plan condor), especially since they have concentration camps running and the gestapo killing immigrants and their own citizens.

It's also very strange that even those who complain - a lot of so-called "progressive" american (yanqui) spaces and pretend to educate about the history of black people in argentina have never been to the country. Moreover I believe that americans engage in cultural imperialism by refusing to analyse the history of argentina as a whole and instead overimposing a yanqui narrative on uniquely argentinian problems.

I'm not going to educate anyone on the social issues in argentina and the racism etc because it's a discussion to be had amongst argentinians to better our country. Foreigners, and by this I mean anyone living outside of argentina with no stakes in the game, don't need or deserve a seat on the table.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

some people will be like “I wonder why fanfic writers don’t share their works anymore😔” and then this is them when a writer is kind enough to share something they write — as a hobby, for their own enjoyment — with them for free.

some people really don’t realize how privileged they are that they get fanfics for free. imagine having access to something for free because someone is kind enough to share it with you… and then being rude, entitled and an ungrateful pos to that person who was kind enough to share their creation with you for free

“almost 1 year is a lil too much for me” fuck off. fanfic writers don’t owe you anything. one of my favorite fics was updated after 13 years, and what I did is that I thanked the author for choosing to continue the work, I didn’t act like a spoiled toddler by asking why they didn’t update sooner. and even if a writer chooses to abandon their fic permanently with no explanation, that is their choice, their hobby, their decision. they don’t owe your entitled ass anything.

you people let tiktok rot your brains to the point you see everything as content farm and engagement. not a piece of art created by the artist’s love and passion. it’s dystopian.

[aelianur]

I read my first fanfic 21 years ago in ff.net and while fandom wasnt pefect (flame wars lol) the monetization of content ruined fandom as much as it did everything else on the internet. It's crazy to see a generation that has grown up with the idea that they are always consuming - paying creators with attention, hence becoming entitled as a consumer - thinking they're purchasing something.

It used to be that we all shared content and resources for free because of social capital and for the heck of it, and to build the community, now resources are shared to monetize, and it's just awful to see what it has done to an entire generation.

[aelianur]

Finished the basic for my (male) spanish kit - abbasid period. My bro actually gave me some of his traditional pakistani clothes - all very fine cotton and the construction hasn't changed at all from medieval times except for the collar which i redid with silk.

You might see me around Trelleborg, Sletten or Wolin sauntering around in it. I still need to source period accurate shoes. I want to make some tiraz bands at some point and proper outer tunic in linen (white cotton is for an undergarment)

[aelianur]

Abbasid period male kit I finished... slowly getting more into the caliphate era of spanish history. The undergartments are cotton and actual traditional pakistani robes, the pattern is exactly the same as medieval ones. I just changed the collar and added silk brocade

Shoes are the next bit, i might make them myself.

[aelianur]

Ooof a woman today made a video with footage of the battle at Lenzen showing part of my husband's group and mine as we went into battle, captioned with "you live in europe? Are you not afraid? No because these are the men that will protect us" or some bullshit like that

Ma'am we run around with blunt swords in chainmail. Also some have criminal records. Air out that fanny hun

[aelianur]

oof now i have thoughts on politics in european reenactment

so generally depending on the region and groups my experience has been that people prefer not to discuss politics in reenactment for obvious reasons, because it can get ugly and sometimes it can lead to creating spaces that are way too... policed.

so yeah the reality is that a lot of people that i come across and call friends or brothers are older folk or folks my age who are super conservative, or conservative or conservative in some ways and progressive and others. it's difficult because we're talking folks who come from wildly different cultural backgrounds and ethnic groups - and yes, not every white person in europe is the same!

we've got the poles who lived through communist poland and remember the hunger and the relatives sent to forced labor camps by the russians, we've got the poles born after the fall of communism, we've got west germans and east germans born and raised in the DDR days, we've got the scandinavians and their general progressive policies but crazy high taxation, the irish who got family killed in the troubles, english folks who remember margaret thatcher's milk snatching ways, alsatian frenchies, parisian frenchies, weird country side frenchies, basque and catalunyans, boring spaniards, etc....

i met women who are hoping for abortion laws to be passed in poland, ex-military men who have a "traditional family" and are dealing with CPTSD, ex-military men with CPTSD who are super pro-queer but don't like muslims, polish folks who are super pro queerness but don't like trans, or don't think women should be fighting.

and the whole point is that having an a-political space generates a place for everyone to come together and influence each other's political views without forcing consensus. which is nice to see how other people think, and not be in a bubble, but

the space is not really a-political. there's a sort of expectation of conformity - don't be too muslim, don't be too gay, don't be trans at all. sadly the sole trans woman I know that came out as trans after joining the viking world was also a bit of a dickhead and did a bunch of people dirty, and so the transphobia came hand in hand with dislike because they just betrayed a friend. but i was told she was told not to come around events because yeah, not welcome, and one wonders how much of that was due to the betrayal and how much by the fact they were now presenting as a woman.

not to mention that in poland women were not able to publicly take to the field fighting until four years ago. a lot of polish groups to this day don't accept female fighters. the "elite" brotherhood of certain orgs still don't accept female fighters - granted, to be completely honest I don't think there's currently that many elite level female fighters in the european circuits in viking reenactment, but there has been in the past, and it was just a case of boys wanting a boys club.

but despite all that, it's the viking world. i think that if you want to be yourself and you're ready to fight tooth and nail for it, the reality is that there's not much that folks can do outside of highschool politics. you're not going to get jumped like in the 90s for being brown or gay (a lot of the older vikings *did* have those experiences) and if you're not a dickhead chances are people will have your back as well.

[aelianur]

The Battle of Lenzen, Germany.

[aelianur]

Silly medieval style paintings featuring animals that I've unwittingly killed, seen try to get sum fuck (becky let him smash), have waited for me in the porch like a jehova's witness, i have murdered with an axe, shit in my front garden and or keep me up at night with their zoomies

[newlyy]

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

[aelianur]

Personally I had to think about, "is this the person I will fight for", I tend to cut ties with people very easily if they piss me off or double cross me. I thrive in arguments because I grew up in a very argumentative family so as a woman I never really was scared of what would happen if my husband tried to give me shit.

For me it was more like thinking, "when he fucks up, will I grant him the space to grow?"

I think marriage is not just taking the measure of the other - you can't actually control that, and to a certain extent you never really know what will happen. I think focusing too much on the other person also can bring about guilt or shame if it turns out you were wrong about their character and suddenly you feel responsible for not seeing it coming.

I think it's better to focus on what you can control - do you know what your boundaries are? Can you leave if the other person does X to you? Are you able to identify signs of a toxic situation, and whats the plan if it happens?

[aelianur]

This corner in my garden went from hopeless mush of discarded garden stuff left by the previous owners, hopelessly compacted clay soil to one of my favorite corners in the garden. Honestly gardening is one of those things that used to fill me with anxiety because it feels so overwhelming, not knowing anything about it and not really knowing how to go about creating my own garden but it taught me a super valuable lesson: it takes time to shape a living space, and you learn little by little. Rather than trying to tackle everything at once, it taught me it's better to do one thing at a time, see how it goes, and then move to the next bit. The space always suggests new things.

[aelianur]

"Kotlet let me sleep"

[aelianur]

it boggles my mind when I tell (mostly white) brits about the costs and trouble required to get a spouse visa so me and my LEGALLY MARRIED HUSBAND can actually LIVE TOGETHER in the country I pay taxes to and which I'm a citizen of, and the first reaction is always "lol just tell him to get on a dinghy"

for those who don't know, the costs of a spouse visa application are about 2 thousand pounds for the application alone, and another 3.5 thousand pounds total for NHS surcharges. which mind you, as he works, he is contributing towards anyway as it comes out of his salary. on top of that, you must make a minimum income of 29K a year

and say you're really lucky like me and can afford all of this bullshit. the visa is only for TWO AND A HALF YEARS. which, because britain is a fucking shithole where far right dickheads like farage keep convincing people to look away from his billionaire mates privatising the NHS because the problem are immigrants, means that you have to pay another 5 thousand pounds after the two and a half years to keep living here with your spouse. and now, they want to basically make it so that it takes you 10 years rather than 5 to apply for indefinite leave to remain, so.... they expect us to pay 20 THOUSAND FUCKING POUNDS FOR THE FUCKING PRIVILEGE OF LIVING WITH OUR FUCKING FAMILY

honestly, fuck you nigel farage, fuck you keir starmer, fuck you absolute fucking spineless morons in the tory and labour parties, and to reform i'm just hoping all of you get burnt alive in a fucking car crash.

[aelianur]

Been on medical leave for the past week for burnout. I managed to talk my GP into addressing it as I had a really bad case of dermatitis in my face after months of dealing with a fungal infection that has been flaring here and there due to stress. In my family skin issues are always a symptom of stress.

I say burnout but honestly I’m not always fully convinced of my own mental state. Perhaps I have this underlying belief that it should mean that I’m completely catatonic, and that my ability to continue to drag myself forward is somehow an argument against it. But I keep telling myself, it didn’t use to be like this. Everything I do nowadays, even if I’m travelling, cuddling with my husband, painting… it all feels slightly distant, like there’s a blanket of sadness over it that I can’t shake off. I’m never fully happy - just not anxious. And when things go wrong, my mood instantly worsens, and what should be a minor annoyance I should shake off becomes something that completely ruins my day. And I hate it. And in turn, I hate myself for feeling that way.

Last year I had the stress of organising my wedding. Of ensuring my family was there after flying halfway across the world from Argentina to Poland. Then passing my driving test, which for anyone outside the UK should know it’s a massive undertaking at the moment as there are 3 month waiting lists and a fail rate of 50%, and costs in the thousands of pounds. Then the added anxiety of being a new driver - and not having any family with me to ease me through the transition, just me trying to figure out cars on my own, in a foreign country. Then having to go through the visa process so that I can live with my husband in the UK and all the anger I had to bite down at how unfair the process is. Then adjusting to living with someone else, and a cat. A bathroom renovation. My husband also dealing with his own mental health issues.

None of these things are in themselves hugely disruptive, but they’re sort of like weights that I keep putting on my shoulders, and although I can shake off most of it, there’s always something left, and so it becomes more and more difficult to take on any more things.

My brain itself feels sluggish, I find it harder to concentrate, harder to get out of bed, harder to get out of my house to meet people. Yesterday we ended up at a local food festival and I had to spend 3 hours on the couch yesterday to recover from it. It’s not physical - I work out 4 times a week, go training on Sundays. I’ve been doing my best to stay off social media and doomscrolling and although I am detoxing by watching movies on DVD or listening to my CDs, or reading books, it doesn’t feel like an instant fix (although I do think it’s helping me not feel worse)

In a week I will go back to work. Another source of anxiety and stress is the fundamental disruption of AI and the existential crisis for a lot of us that have grown up in a different world where computers where fun and exciting. I’m going through the mourning of feeling like all that excitement for the future I used to have is gone in an age where technology is truly costing us the planet, and where technofeudalism is making truly evil people more powerful than ever.

I’m sort of like a prisoner in a golden cage - I have savings, a house paid off. I’m merely staying to take as many paychecks from these dickheads as I can, because I know nothing I work on is of any real value. But I’m not made of stone; part of me still wants to do “her best” and suffers because this is completely impossible where no one can agree what good looks like, and you’re meant to define it but if you do it wrong you get fired.

Perhaps the only true balm for my thoughts right now is the hope that this, like all things, will end one day. I think of William Blake seeing the evil machinery behind Georgian progress in the UK - wealth acquired through not just slavery and colonialism but child labour and the blood of the poor, and knowing the core of what we’re experiencing has been experienced before - and we got such great works of art from it. And by this I mean purely that it feels fantastic to see humanity triumph in the face of bleak, inhuman technocracies.

[rockatanskette]

Medieval writers and 13-year-old girls on fanfic.net in 2009 have identical energy. Chrétien de Troyes opens Erec and Enide with “hi my name is Chrétien and I’m going to tell you the best story you’ve ever heard and it’s so good that it’ll be bigger than Jesus. it’s about my favorite character Erec who would NOT say what everyone says he would it is NOT in his character and they are wrong. also he had the best horse and his clothes were all designer from Byzantium and his girlfriend was Queen Guinevere (THE Queen Guinevere 0_0)’s BFF but she was totally modest about it. now I’m going to portray disability and it will NOT age well. ^_^”

[aelianur]

The antique shop finds of today. The arrowhead is viking era, found in suffolk.