Fight your inner monsters

Hi, there ;) I am 18 years old / from Germany Struggling with myself for years and recovering from anorexia, I try to find my place in this complex world

[aelinealin-blog]

It is kind of weird to be surrounded by psychology students while my arms are covered with old self harm scars

[sweetoothgirl]

MATCHA MILK BREAD TURTLES WITH CHOCOLATE DUTCH CRUNCH

[aelinealin-blog]

Still waiting

I am still waiting for the return of my application. I applied for medicine. And now I have been waiting since January. Maybe I will know more in a week. But nothing is certain. Aarggh...

[beetlestothestars]

Food realizations in recovery:

Choosing a brand of cereal that is 110cal versus 130cal is not going to make a difference on your body. 

Real butter is delicious and most definitely “worth” the calories. 

Foods like cheese, avocado, sour cream, etc. are not “unnecessary add-ons” – they make food better and healthier. 

Not every meal has to be perfect. 

Some meals should be perfect. 

It is necessary to measure your food for recipes but not for anything else. 

Your meal plan is not reflective of the way that you will eat when you are recovered – normal eating is much more flexible.

Looking up and adding up the nutritional info for everything that you eat is not normal. 

Artificial sweeteners are disgusting – they negatively affect both your cravings and digestion. Real sugar is so much better for you. 

The right beverage can really compliment a meal. 

So can dessert. 

Chocolate is just as healthy as vegetables, but for different reasons.

Normal eaters do not have “AM/PM snack;” normal eaters just snack. 

Diet products and light foods do not taste good and having safety in them will not allow you to reach a recovered life. 

It is okay to have an extra snack and it is okay to skip a snack.

Cooking is fun and great – but only if you are able to eat what you make. 

Food is a worthwhile thing to spend money on.

So is splurging on a nice dinner at a restaurant. 

It is normal to eat something just because it sounds good.

It is normal to stop eating something because you are satisfied.  

You will not eat the same amount of food every day and sometimes it will not even be close. 

Variety is healthy, good, and fun – having the same meals every day is not normal. 

Food is food. It does not deserve to hold power over our lives. It deserves to nourish and satisfy us. It deserves to simply be. 

[sparklingupmydarkestnights]

Reblogging this because it’s so important

[aelinealin-blog]

May I introduce to you the "Jammerlappen " aka whining cloth ;). My little companion. Always pessimistic, always whining, never satisfied. Incredibly annoying.

[sunnysk1es]

[aelinealin-blog]

Loving my look today :) Despite the overall bad mood in my family I am doing great. Can't complain

[aelinealin-blog]

I consider to go to my local Greenpeace group. Today would have been a meeting. But I am to lazy to leave the house. It's cold and windy outside. I already went outside twice today. Nothing despite my ed could make me leaving the house right now. I feel bad because I can't get myself up. But I just don't want to move right now

[aelinealin-blog]

I have gained weight recently. I myself decided that I had to. But now I don't know how to feel about it. I am kind of proud but ashamed as well. Think I just have to keep going. I won't reach my goals if I restrict.

[l-o-v-everyone]

JOURNAL TOPICS

I’ve personally found journaling to be very advantageous to both my recovery as well as my overall psyche, and I’d suggest it to anyone. Below I’ve comprised a little list of daily journaling topics that individuals in recovery as well as others may find to be enjoyable. 1.) Write 3 things that were great about your day. 2.) Keep a daily gratitude list and jot down one thing you’re thankful for every morning. 3.) Write down one affirmation every day and repeat it to yourself (be sincere). 4.) Write about what you have learned this week (no matter how mundane it may seem). 5.) Journal about the best thing that happened to you this week (give details). 6.) Write what your biggest challenges were for the week. 7.) Journal about things you did for the first time. 8.) Write down your top three priories for the upcoming week. 9.) Make a “Positives List” and write down: -anything you’re proud of -positives changes you’ve experienced (in recovery or in general) -things you like about yourself -positive statements loved ones may use to describe you -what makes you unique/special -things you are good at *Refer to this list regularly and add to it as needed* 10.) Comprise a list of negative core beliefs and then go back and reframe them all with an affirmation towards yourself. 11.) Journal about where you envision yourself to be within the next 5 years. 12.) Write a letter saying all the things you’d like to voice to someone you dislike with no intentions of sending it. 13.) Schedule a date with yourself once a month; write about all the things you’d like to do, and do them. 14.) Write an amends letter to yourself; then write a thank you letter to yourself. 15.) Keep a dream log. Write down what you dreamed the night before as soon as you wake up (include as many details as possible). 16.) List all your favorite quotes. Underneath write why you enjoy them so much and how they apply to you.

For those in recovery, you may find it beneficial to set aside 10 minutes everyday and answer these following questions: 1.) Did my recovery go as planned today? 2.) What impediments, if any, were there to my recovery? 3.) What can I do to remove these impediments next time? I’ve also included some journaling assignments you may find to be helpful: 4.) Create a list of what is good about staying the same and what is bad about staying the same. Then form a list of good and bad outcomes of making a change. 5.) Create a plan/schedule in advance to help you steer clear of temptations that may throw you off course.

If you can think of any additions to add to this list feel free to message them to me. I’m always open to new journaling assignments. Hopefully you all can find at least one of these suggestions to be fun and constructive. Happy journaling to you all! PS- I’d love to read any of your entries; feel free to message them to me.

[bulbabushka]

Pretend ur invasive self hating thoughts r being said to u by a 13 y/o boy on xbox live trying to get a rise out of you like “Your girlfriend dumped you because you’re ugly” that’s nice tim isn’t it past ur bedtime

[hellfucingshitfuck-deactivated2]

also, if you have intrusive violent thoughts, pretend they’re being said to u by an annoying backseat driver

“drive into that pole” thanks karen or i could not do that

[emmmpty]

Perfect

[the-neon-pineapple]

you can also pretend that the Super Paranoid thoughts are being said by that conspiracy theorist in your history class

“maybe they poisoned you” maybe you should fuck off, geoffrey-with-a-g

[venusian--eye-deactivated201606]

OHH MAN I DO THIS SHIT EVERY DAY

[dapperpea]

My favorite for intrusive anxious thoughts is to pretend Spock’s behind you with an answer.

“did I lock the door-”

captain you have locked the door every day for over ten years, and it is very hard for most people to break even subconscious habits, so you most definitely locked the door

[zetsubonna]

I told my new psychiatrist about how I learned this from y'all and his eyes lit up. He didn’t smile but he did nod a whole bunch of times, it was great.

[merelyimmortal]

I like to pretend that my intrusive thoughts are being said to me by a super uptight religious white lady

“god hates you because you don’t believe in him” “your failures are too great to be forgiven by anyone” “everything you do is wrong and you are going to burn in hell”

thanks for the input brenda but fuck right off

[thatoneqprblog-blog]

I would just like to say that I love you all for this idea.

[disabledfeministvoice]

Reblogging this for a friend.

[aelinealin-blog]

I hate waiting. Aargh. It is AWFUL.

[aelinealin-blog]

The holidays were quite rough for me. Too much family, too much talk and too much food. So I was tempted to restrict afterwards. Unfortunately I did. But this week I did really good not to restrict. It was challenging but not to hard. I will do my best to keep going.

[aelinealin-blog]

Just having a nice Friday night on my own with Grey's Anatomy and chocolate. Enjoying it :)

[arealarchaeopteryx]

please don't ever think that no one cares about you

I work in an ER and we see suicides all the time. And we get at least 3 suicidal ideations a night. We all care about you. I promise, we do. A team of complete strangers who have worked 3+ 12 hour shifts this week who are being screamed at all day and night and probably haven’t had lunch and trust me, we still love you and care about you.

We had a 16 year old patient last night who we couldn’t save. We were in that room with this patient for over an hour, we did everything we could. And let me tell you, we all cried. The EMT’s, the nurses, the doctor. We all huddled together in the doctors dictation room and cried.

I went through the rest of my shift with smudged mascara and tracks on my cheeks.

I remember the names of all the patients that have taken their lives on my shifts.

I remember squeezing the hands, smoothing the hair, kissing the foreheads, and wiping away the blood and the vomit of every patient that has left me too soon.

I can still see every face that I have zipped into a body bag.

Trust me, someone cares about you. You have never met them yet. You don’t ever think about them. They are never remembered when you talk about heroes and role models.

But someone loves you.

[shroom-goddess]

damn….

[phantomkinoc13]

This made me cry

[croatoan-the-line]

When I was in hospital being seen to, being bandaged and sedated and surrounded by medical staff, my family was ignoring my calls, my friends hadn’t cared to check in. I felt terrified and hopeless and so very unimportant that it was taking everything it had in me to not drink the cleaning products left nearby by one of the cleaners, to make sure I finished the job properly.

There was a nurse though, who came into my room with a soft smile, who held my hand, who took away the bottles when she noticed me watching them for too long. There was a nurse that plugged in my phone to charge in case my family called back, that took away the bloody cloths the paramedics had left me with, that helped me put my hair up when it was sticking to my tear streaked face, because my arms were too sore to do it myself.

There was a nurse that saved my life twice in one night, who made me feel that I was worth being looked after, and her name was Emma and she was the most beautiful person I’ve met.

Months later, I was visiting my mother at the same hospital whilst she was incapacitated with back concerns. Whilst I sat and watched my mum sleeping, a nurse approached to check up on her. She met my gaze and she smiled immediately, face lit with recognition, and she said “oh my gosh, hey! How are you doing?”

People definitely do care about us even if we don’t think they do, and to the original poster?

Your faces are never forgotten either.

You’re more than heroes to me.

[justanothertiredgay]

I m sobbing this is such a great reminder. Somebody loves you.

[aelinealin-blog]

My wall of happiness. My collection of remarkable moments. My reason to stay strong. My reason to hold on. My motivation. Me

[unaverage-confessions]

When I think that using the same unhealthy behaviors will lead to a better result

it’s just like: