leaving .

independent and selective jessika pava from star wars: episode VII - the force awakens. trial blog and under construction. written by rowan x

[aerbound-blog]

ooc. @tori. i love how you’ve probably responded to all threads owed to jess across accounts within the last like month 

[soulmeasured-a-deactivated20181]

❛ god, i hope you’re satisfied. ❜

        ( HAMILTON: AN AMERICAN MEME )

      There were not many people Mamoru could say he was close to. Usagi was definitely one of them but she was bound to be close to him, being his significant other and all. He was pretty close with the senshi, too. After about two years of fighting alongside each other, sharing war stories and harrowing experiences, it was a little hard NOT to feel close. Other than them, he had a bit of a difficult time getting close to people. Schoolmates could be counted as friends, he supposed, but they were more study friends than people he would hang out with on a Friday night and drink with.

          But Jessika was a friend he had chosen all on his own. Sure, they had met in college. But he had developed a special kind of bond with her. Their friendly rivalry and bickering had not fizzled out as the months wore on       rather, it had intensified. It came as no surprise to him when he discovered she was something of a little sister figure to him. The realization only fueled his desire to keep their friendship light and argumentative.

     She’d been over to study one night and he offered to make coffee. Jess had accepted and told him how she liked it before she returned to her chemistry homework. Mamoru started the fresh pot of coffee and took the time to wash and dry a pair of mugs for them to use. He took his time gathering the sugar and cream needed for his companion’s cup, and he had just poured coffee into both mugs when the salt caught his eye. A few moments passed, his gaze fixed on the white granules as he thought about his next move. Putting some into her drink would be harmless, right? After all, he could have easily mistaken the salt for sugar. 

     Mamoru emerged from the kitchen a minute later, passing her a black mug which she took without looking up. He sat across her and quietly sipped at his own drink, eyes looking at but not really paying attention to his open textbook. It didn’t take long for the silence to be broken, however, as Jessika let out a disgusted cry at the taste of her salty beverage. Honestly, it took Mamoru all he had in him to stifle his laughter and pretend he had NO idea what was going on. But the jig was up quickly, her eyes narrowing at him as her finger pointed sharply at the drink in her hand.

          One ststement. It took one statement to make him crack. But he took his time with replying, taking a sip of his sweetened coffee and turning a page of his textbook before he answered with all the nonchalance he could muster.

                     ❝ I AM. ❞

[aprosopi-blog]

             they don’t mean it as an OFFENSE, no: they merely want to say they understand. they’ve been one to HOPE for changes, but they didn’t come & they grew used to it. “no joke, man. no joke. life’s a fucking drag sometimes and its ways of making you notice it usually are pretty… HARSH.”

[aerbound-blog]

    ` yep, i got’cha .” she did . she understands in that kind of way you’d sympathize with someone ending the day realizing they’ve fallen prey to a negative self-fulfilling prophecy . ` wanna talk about what’s up? or we could keep trashing on life, no big .”

[aprosopi-blog]

                “hey, you are not the only one who tries to be optimistic, but                              life has its way of tiring one out, y’know?”

[aerbound-blog]

      incredulity briefly flickers . she swallows back a scoff . she hardly considers herself the only person who tries to be optimistic, please. ` well, yeah . it’s hard not t’ notice . kinda just----roundhouse kicks you in the face sometimes, too .” 

[dereksmrgn-blog]

    “or mentally recharging. seeing something like that, reading about it, is one thing but experiencing it? pava, it throws most people in a loop.”

[aerbound-blog]

        ` rest assured-----i’ll probably start crying soon . things just haven’t reconciled yet . ”

[aprosopi-blog]

open.

                    “thing is: expectations are only gonna come to bite your ass later.”

[aerbound-blog]

    ` shoot, i dunno . they might actually surprise me one of these days . ”

[dereksmrgn-blog]

starter for: @aerbound

       “you’re looking pretty calm considering what just happened.”

[aerbound-blog]

    ` -----you rather have me, what? obviously anxious? crying? ”

[keptbones-blog]

     “ but i’m not angry! ” however fervently she tried to deny it, there was always a small tug in her gut. something that was trying to tell her otherwise. “ i’d say i’m a pretty happy person, wouldn’t you? ”

[aerbound-blog]

      ` yeah, well. ” a beat passes. she half-contemplates staying quiet, of concurring and letting the topic slide, perhaps . ( because the other’s answering statement rings true but----- ) ` being a pretty happy person doesn’t mean you can’t be angry . ”

[fierytcmper-blog]

     “ fine, ” she grumbled, shooting jessika a dirty look before dropping her hand. anne rearranged her facial expression, her demeanor shifting from mischievous to slightly haughty in a matter of seconds. “ y’ never know, jess. an irish man could come along and sweep ya’ up. we arecharming, y’know. ”

[aerbound-blog]

         don’t find attention in her-----a slight and coy upturning of lips, of her taking conscious effort to not notice the shift in either of the other’s expressions issued . she has since grown familiar in the act of consciously not-noticing, she thinks ( opinion will not alter despite contrary efforts made ).

                   ` there’s no doubt that i find irish attractive . feel free t’ sweep me off my feet, please. ”

[glitchyai-blog]

                                         “REAL FACT” #1003!

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[djtothestars]

it seems infectious as he laughs along with her. probably a little louder than necessary. “i mean    they toooootally know what they’re doing & would tooooootally be capable of calling for help any kind help    if they needed it, right?” the shockingly even tone is broken by continuous click of the pen in hand. 

[aerbound-blog]

     ` unless------ ” slips from her mouth before thought processes ( it is an instinctual reaction to challenge, a habit she is consciously trying to break ). she coughs. half a tick passes. ` right. you’re right, eiffel. who else best follows protocol than minkowski? ”

[incredibleliar]

                           ❛  think you’re up to the test?  i love a challenge.  ❜  she speaks with a lilt like spring air,  entangled in saccharine & the promise of rebirth.   she is more than the abyss time has made of her   ;   more than graveyards in her bones & the ash in her lungs.  

[aerbound-blog]

      ` ‘m gonna---catch you when you least expect it, guaranteed . ” an empty promise to ears that weren’t her own. her subconscious insists : she is in over her head . but she has long-since acknowledged the mere act of will? is efficient enough to overcome stubbornness.

[bloodiedwolf-blog]

                    ‘ ‘s fine. ’

       people make mistakes. people who aren’t her. people who are only human. the apology’s half-muttered, hard words for a hard girl and a hard voice, but she means them. mostly. 

                                  mostly, she just doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

       arya slows her gait to match with jess’ own, even if it takes more patience than she’d like.

                     ‘ okay. ’ she shrugs, presses her forefinger into the elevator’s call button, rocks back and forth on her heels, hands shoved into her pockets. ( maybe jess has never known real hunger, but – it’s strangely warming, still, knowing someone who can keep up with her, when it comes to eating. ) ‘ should do. reckon ‘s why it gets called drunk food. ’

[aerbound-blog]

        she makes mistakes. she makes so many mistakes, it’s difficult to keep track of them all, but----she tries ( mental tally marks left as reminder, post-it notes written as confirmation ). 

                          there is a slow progression of everything feeling heavier as the aftereffects of alcohol tends to do to her ; tongue, languid . mind, sluggish . eyes sensitive to overbearingly bright and fluorescent lights.  she swears they shut for just a part of a second, a blink lasting longer than usual, perhaps. rather : her body startling, hands instinctually move to smooth whatever clothing closest over, at the floor arrival sound . 

          a beat passes before her conscious catches up.

            ` nachos sound good, too. chicken wings. pizza. fuck----i knew i shoulda drank more water. ”

[wordsnquotes]

Wait for someone who bumps mouths clumsily with yours cos they’re too busy smiling to kiss you properly. Yeah. Wait for that.

Azra Tabassum (via wordsnquotes)

[djtothestars]

“of course they’ll be fine. no one better to take on the job, right?” a few more nervous laughs roll out, eyes set behind black frames and settling on anything that wasn’t directly pava’s gaze on him. 

[aerbound-blog]

      a laughed word soon accompanying : ` right.” she is not going to share any worst case scenarios running rampant in mind, she is not going to share any worst case scenarios running rampant, she is not going to share---- the thought continuing, repeating consistently as a reminder that it wouldn’t be productive to let thoughts spill this time around. ` they’ve done similar before, no worries. ” 

[aerbound-blog]

from. @scevuss​.

         ` there’s rarely... an occurrence where it's too much alcohol, louis .” it is spoken through a heavy tongue---- but she thinks it remains a muddled-thought lie. she's since forgotten about the pre-drinking or how many shots she started the night with and the next time she wakes up, she'll be ruing and cursing whoever tempted her to mix alcohols.

                   ` if i've -----had too much t’ drink... you've had too much ---t’ drink.” her eyes are probably narrowed, corners of lips tugging downwards ; she'd have tried to snatch back the bottle if she were confident enough she wouldn’t fall flat .

[diiscotechjuliet]

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