Anti-ace/aro shit on this site, an actual problem
Somehow people keep claiming there is no problem with anyone hating aces and aros on this site and particularly in what they call āace discourseā (but what could often be more accurately renamed to āplain shitting on aces and arosā). So Iāve made another list of some of the shit thatās gone down, except this time with links because apparently thatās the only way to not get dismissed out of hand.
Iāve talked a lot about racism in this mess but Iāve stuck to mostly other stuff this time, because I donāt have the energy to drag up certain shit again (or in other cases donāt want to bring in posts ppl apologized for, or dig through my blog for a long time, or or. Maybe I will add some more shit later. [Though looking over it one more time, thereās actually some considerable stuff here already.])
So, crap the anti-ace/aro crowd on this site has pulled includes but sadly is not at all limited to:
Comparing aces and aros to TrumpĀ (and pretending this is funny)
Comparing aces to Ronald Reagan (and pretending this is funny)
Comparing aces to a literal slave owner
Making fun of aces not being accepted by their parents and of aces finding this upsetting (making it into a crytyping ājokeā)
Making aces feel shitty/shaming them for telling their parents theyāre ace because itās supposedly āunnecessaryā
Saying if we tell family about being ace, itās no wonder if they send us to therapy
Doing their best to sexualize the orientations of aces, in so many cases. The link before these two is also connected to that. They treat our orientations like (graphic) details about āour sex livesā, frequently acting like if we want to talk about them ever weāre gross/creepy
This one is also āniceā re sexualizing aces (one of many examples of ppl also engaging in sex-shaming while theyāre at it, saying only oneās partner should know anything about oneās ārelationships with sexā. Except this person goes kinda even further)
More sexualization, when I say this freaks me out as a WoC, Iām told this white person gives no fucks and wants me to be miserable
Another person who says the identities of aces but also of aros need to stay between them and their Partners because theyāre āTMIā and inherently sex-shaming somehow
Oh yeah did I mention, much the same with sexualizing aros and ppl frequently link our identities to misogyny and to using people while theyāre at it
Making light and fun of ace WoC asking to not be sexualized because donāt we know aces have done Bad things and so we deserve it/donāt get to complain
One of many examples of white people who hate aces+aros talking over PoC and trying to erase us from our communities (+usually when we call that shit out they donāt care. This is actually one of the more cordial responses Iāve come across despite the lack of apology lol. [Eta: my wording here was misleading before, they werenāt talking to me - Iād also called them on this but they ignored me. Sorry for the confusion!] Also, I have a tag somewhere with several non-black/white ppl who made Rachel Dolezal comparisons to shit on aces/aros). Another example of talking over us here complete with condescendingly lecturing a PoC about racism
People like this saying outright they hate aces
Saying sex ed shouldnāt teach about asexuality
Outright stating they think being ace/aro gives people privilege (because supposedly aces+aros both benefit from conservatives pushing for abstinence)
Outright invalidating the identities of acesĀ (who donāt have the attitude towards sex they think they should have)
Outright calling aces and aros a āplagueā and saying aces/aros regardless of other identities all need to be kicked out of the LGBT+ community.
Erasing the identities of people who speak out against anti-ace/aro shit to declare them āstraightā or ācishetā ā¦or saying that treatment is what they get for being ātraitors to their own communityā
Ignoring the boundaries of aces/aros who have them blocked and donāt want to be vagued to make fun of them ā¦
ā¦or even to continue sexualizing them after they have made it very clear that shit freaks them out (cheerfully doing this to a WoC)
Someone saying asexuality does not exist and āencourages slut shamingā
Spamming the ace positivity tag with vile hate (ppl have talked a lot about how this harms and endangers especially mentally ill ppl)
āaces are embarassingā in the positivity tag
Posting nsfw content in the ace positivity tag and being completely unapologetic, apparently using the reasoning that our identities are inherently nsfw anyway (see the āTMI discourseā aka people sexualizing our identities)
Calling aces and aros a āsexuality fandomā while pretending weāre a group full of people with every privilege imaginable, bored of being accepted by everyone and of having no Actual Problems in our lives. This kind of nasty erasure constantly goes on and is a big tactic in this mess tbh
Wanting aces to be āexterminatedā. For good measure putting this in the ace positivity tag
This disgusting vile shit that I donāt even know how to sum up but it includes wishing death on someone
Talking about wanting aces/aros dead after somehow misunderstanding(?) a post that was very clearly not about asexuality or aromanticism
Graphically telling aces to die
Specifically telling ace kids to kill themselves
Did I mention that many people in this mess have wished death on aces and aros and that they often put it in positivity tags. Some of the most messed up shit Iāve seen is missing because I didnāt reblog/respond to it at the time or canāt find it right now
And I know anons donāt count as hard āproofā for anything but have the less graphic one of the death/rape threats I gotĀ in my inbox for speaking out against anti-ace/aro shit (still kinda eerily detailed though. Not linking the other one because it is extremely graphic)
And the really sad thing is that these are all just examples that I could find relatively quickly. I also left out posts for various reasons, and tried to focus on just really blatant shit and not anything where you need a ton of context, or something ājustā on the level of the many people whoāve invalidated asexuality/aromanticism as orientations (declaring them to only ever āmodifiersā)
But yeah, a lot of people here? Hate aces and aros a lot and whatās going on is incredibly harmful and toxic and it needs to stop. This is serious shit
romaincrisis
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
