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@afewmarblesshortofmysanity
CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD THROUGH THE BATKID COM LINES MASTERPOST (ENTRIES 61-?) (ENTRIES 1-60 HERE)
entry 61 (part 2) entry 62 entry 63 entry 64 entry 65 entry 66 entry 67 entry 68 entry 69 (league days) entry 70 entry 71 entry 72 entry 73 entry 74 entry 75
do you guys think Jason takes advantage of the fact that he has so many underage vigilante siblings by telling them to secret shopper his goons and check that they adhere to the 'no selling to kids' rule? because i do and i think each child fucks up the job in their own spectacular way.
Nightwing, landing on a rooftop where Red Hood's speaking to one of his subordinates: yo, Hood, what's going on?
Jason: hey. just getting the report for that secret shopper thing i was gonna do with the Wayne kids.
Subordinate: yeah... uh, why are Bruce Wayne's kids taking part in this again?
Jason, without missing a beat: because non of their neighbours need their laws mowed and Brucie says it's important for kids their ages to start learning the responsibility of having a job. anyway, Damian was up tonight, right? who was he buying from, 'cause i already know they failed.
Subordinate: yeah, Rick let the kid buy from him, so he needs to be punished i guess. bought two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke without Rick even blinking.
Jason, frowning: yeah, call that guy up for me to 'speak' to-
Jason:
Jason: wait Damian bought what?
Subordinate: ...two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke?
Jason:
Dick: what's wrong?
Jason, shooting off a grapple: that little shit only gave me back the weed-
~
Jason: *crying with laughter in the middle of the street*
Dick, landing nearby: ...you ok Hood?
Jason: *wheezing*
Duke, faintly, from Jason's phone: ITS NOT FUNNY.
Dick: what's happened?
Jason: Duke- *wheeze* Duke was supposed to do his secret shopper assignment tonight, but he didn't read the memo properly and tried to buy from a group of four of my guys as Signal instead of himself,
Duke: -SHUT UP JASON.
Jason: *still struggling to breathe* so he- so he rocked up and asked to buy as Signal, and my guys all assumed he was arresting them for possession,
Dick: oh my god.
Jason: they dropped him everything they fucking had and bolted, and now he's panicking on the other end of Crime Alley because four peoples' entire product inventory is too much for him to carry in one go and he's scared of leaving any behind for kids to wander across, so he's- *collapses into more laughter*
Dick, in awe: he's just stuck guarding it?!
Duke, from Jason's phone, incredibly distressed: THE RATS ARE CIRCLING IN. I'M NOT USUALLY OUT THIS LATE. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO COME AND FUCKING HELP ME-
Jason: *loses it*
~
Dick: hey, Tim did his secret shopper thing tonight, right? how'd that go?
Jason: *head in his hands*
Dick: ...did the guy fail?
Jason, muffled: no.
Dick: then what happened?
Jason: i had him try to buy from the same guy as Damian, to see if he'd 'learned his lesson', and he refused to sell to Tim point blank.
Dick: ok...?
Jason: but then Tim got offended that he'd sold to Damian and not him, so he pulled a gun on the guy and robbed him instead.
Dick:
Dick: the fuck did he get a gun from-
Jason: i don't fucking know Dick.
~
*Dick and Jason getting food on patrol when Steph calls Jason*
Steph: so i did the thing and it didn't work but i don't think it didn't work because i'm a kid.
Jason: ...what do you mean?
Steph: well i walk up to these two guys and ask to buy, right? and they say sure, what do you want? and i go 'four', and these guys say 'four what' and i'm like ??? the fuck do you think? four drugs. and-
Jason: *puts his head in his hands as Dick chokes on his hotdog*
Steph: -they look at me like i'm the fucking idiot, like, you should know how to count if you're gonna be a drug dealer, it's not like you guys have cash registers to help you out, right? and they start arguing with me and telling me that clearly i'm already high—which, fuck you guys, my makeup is awesome tonight, i do not look like i did it while high, how dare you! so i said maybe they're high and i should call their boss and snitch for stealing his supply, and they were like 'nuh uh blondie, nuh uh!' all mocking and shit, so i kicked one guy in the balls and the other guy grabbed me and now they won't let me leave until i prove that you sent me.
Jason:
Dick: *crying*
Steph, brightly: so yeah, if you could come pick me up~
Jason: i hate all of you.
am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat
They wear suits, but they don't even know basic etiquette.
Based on @cowardsexual 's post of a very sleepy phm science team and Grace's teacher instincts
i need silas to still be alive just so i can see him get the absolute shit beat out of him by SOMEONE on screen, that would be very cathartic
everytime i rewatch season 1 and he comes on the screen im just begging for someone to punch his lights out
ykw in season two i need Sherlock doing an Irish accent in front of James and even though it’s a perfect accent just have James rinse him for it and how ‘horrible’ it was
i know hero can do an irish accent as his character in the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare is irish
Post break-up Sheriarty texts.
I apologise for the person I'll become when this green suit and rolled up sleeves debut
Already working on chapter two of Curiosity & Satisfaction because this au is becoming so dear to me XD
So far we have: domesticated James Moriarty, Sherlock vs. Nightmares, Brutus' adventures at Appleton, Mycroft and Cordelia's reactions, and Brutus interrupting intimidation!
There might also be a third chapter, featuring Brutus' first Christmas with the detectives, and potentially a surprise <3
Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas in the comments, they're delightful and have me cackling madly as I type (: 💖
Just made myself laugh very hard thinking about how absolutely thrilled Young Sherlock-verse Mycroft is gonna be in the future when Watson finally shows up and he realizes that his reckless, danger-prone little bro is now permanently in the company of a trained medical professional
Mycroft: I have the sharpest memory! Name one time I forgot something
Sherlock: you left me in a Walmart parking lot three weeks ago
Mycroft: that was on purpose, try again
ykw in season two i need Sherlock doing an Irish accent in front of James and even though it’s a perfect accent just have James rinse him for it and how ‘horrible’ it was
Curious pebble (3/?)
Part 1 / Part 2
A massive shoutout to @thereal-sillyguy for making everyone's favorite pebble into a gif! I very literally couldn't have done it without them!
got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?
Sherlock: Fight me James: You can't even fight a cold
It would have been really sexy if we got to see James beat the shit out of Silas for hurting Sherlock.
so much of the filming for season two has been leaked, and there isn't a single scene so far where Hero is wearing a full, none muddied up suit.
Is he perpetually in a state of duress for the entire season
