#michael shelley and Other Things That Ruined My Life: An Autobiography by agenderfrenchfry

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@agenderfrenchfry
#michael shelley and Other Things That Ruined My Life: An Autobiography by agenderfrenchfry
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
The problem with being low support needs is that people mentally autocorrect that to “no support needs” and then proceed to give you absolutely nothing and then get surprised when you implode after six months.
MORE DELTAMESHI!!!!!!
Bonus below!!! \/ \/ \/
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
made this last night in like ten minutes
Everyone's Friend
I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor
Carol the Terrible and her Daughter
Parody of “Ivan the Terrible and His Son” by Ilya Repin.
I love how serious animes based on kids toys get.
The Yu-Gi-Oh cards aren’t just cards, you fool, they’re adaptations of ancient Egyptian monster-summoning rituals. And yeah, the ghosts of the people who existed when these were performed can come back to possess you and trap your opponents in Yu-Gi-Oh hell if they see fit.
Beyblades are just fun plastic and metal tops? Are you fucking serious? Those things have spirits in them that act as extensions of the user’s souls, and if you don’t look inside yourself and commune with the top it won’t respect you or follow your commands.
It’s absolute bullshit, and the worst part? It’s actually pretty good.
If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people
One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.
The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.
Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.
I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.
Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.
"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."
"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."
"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"
Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off
Hearing about sex-related relationship problems is very strange when you’re an attractionless asexual.
In my specific case it’s like talking to your friend and they’re like, “My partner hasn’t high-fived me in weeks. I think we might break up soon.” You don’t think a high-five sounds unpleasant—under the right conditions you can even picture why someone would find it enjoyable or want to seek it out—but it’s difficult to grasp why one would suffer from a lack of it. (Not that it’s a silly or trivial problem to have, of course. Just one that’s hard for me personally to understand.)
I had a weird dream about Fuckhands Mike last night.
Somehow Michael Shelley had gotten separated from the distortion, and he and Jon were walking around a city of some sort? It was nighttime. Eventually they decided they had to go back to the distortion. (Not sure why. Maybe to make sure it was still present or not fucking up reality with part of it unexpectedly ejected?) When they did, Michael distorted again and gave Jon its scarf before booting him out while it was still human enough to not want to eat him.
It gave me very bittersweet feelings while observing it. I think Shelley always sort of knew it was a respite but was happy to spend time with Jon anyway. It might have kissed him goodbye too? I can’t remember perfectly. Like I said, weird…
THIS is the comic that has been banned
It was flagged as "Eksplicit", shadowbanned, and every reblog turned invisible. The flagging is also unappealable (unless that is an error, thanks tumblr)
Happy Trans Day of Invisibility from your tumblr mods!
Only found out because I tried to reblog with an update from your local trans unicorn siblings!
I cannot even LINK to my old comic without every new post getting deleted.
And yet, we will CONTINUE to exist, and grow, and find each other. We will be visible up to and beyond our own deaths. Because we stand for love. We love ourselves and each other and that just makes us stronger.
//suicide
wonder if rose made empty suicide threats to her friends like she does to mom. i wish her self destructive tendencies were brought up more by the fandom. lowkey a vent so i dont care if this is ooc if im gonna be honest. i just wanted smt to work on for awhile
EDIT: i was really suicidal when i made this so if you could refrain from criticizing it in the comments that would much be appreciated. you can do that with my other works but not with this one. i genuinely just dont care if it is good or not and enough people have told me i didnt meet the bar and i dont careeeee!!! please stop
EDIT AGAIN!!!: you do not have to worry about me! i am on antidepressants now and this was made i want to say a month ago...? my queue on here is suuuuper behind. im doing fine!!!! i got help ♡ if you are feeling this way also i STRONGLY suggest you seek council too because someone loves you i am positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!