Agent Ambrose @agentambrose - Tumblr Blog

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

a-totally-reasonable-username

@namelessennes

avidreaderffn

@sandstonesunspear

polyamorousmisanthrope

Jesus Tapdancing Christ... THIS is a good welt pocket and the people who designed Simplicity 2895 ought to be blasted well ASHAMED of themselves for the crap way THEY wanted a welt pocket made. *SNARLS*

makereadgrow

This is how I learned to do it and a good example of what you want to see in a short form tutorial: pinning, pressing, seam finishing, good fabric handling.

I would mention that you can make the pocket facing with a small panel of your matching fabric that is visible and the rest in a lighter fabric to reduce bulk. That's a lot of denim layers for comfort.

teaboot

HOT DAMN

#references #pocket

tiktoksthataregood-ish

toast-ranger-to-a-stranger

The best thing for me, as an ex- Starbucks employee, is the horror that genuinely is the milk delivery when it’s only you and one other shift member. Though, I did end up learning how to carry six individual gallons of milk at once.

nekocat44

thefoggygolem

Also that change from Customer Service ™®© voice back to normal to informal joking-threats is amazing

gomi-chandesu

Yeah the whiplash from “Hi welcome to starbucks how can I help you! :)” to “I’LL FUCK YOUR WIFE” killed me.

drtanner

MILK.

DELIVERY.

oops-prow-did-it-again

Almost pissed myself laughing reading this addition holy shit

monstermonger

Friend in an alleyway | my wife sent me this photo the other day and said "you HAVE to draw this." and I agreed completely <:

monstermonger

oops I was told you can only see the photo if you have a bsky account, so here's a screenshot of it!

tiktoksthataregood-ish

drinkyourjuiceshelby

reblog for noises

yeahiwasintheshit

I would download tiktok if it was only cat pov

stuft

Better than most tv

hellenhighwater

Mayhem is at her first physical therapy appointment and I guess they're gonna shoot lasers at my cat

hellenhighwater

When she develops super powers it's over for all of us

hellenhighwater

I sent this photo to my coworkers/secretary to explain why I'm not in the office this morning, and when I walked in this afternoon:

Truly the best secretaries in the business

hellenhighwater

Truly she will be coming out of the other side of this like the Terminator

augustarambles

caecilius-est-pater

I was searching the Latin/Greek section of a used bookstore for some ~aesthetic~ antique Latin books, and I came across this beautiful 1889 tome:

This is going to look great on my “look at me I’m a pretentious twat” bookshelf.

But then… the first few sentences read:

“In 1875 delegates of the Oxford University Press proposed to me that I should undertake the compilation of a new Latin-English Lexicon, of something the same compass as the Greek-English Lexicon of Liddell and Scott. I acceded to the proposal in the expectation, for which I had at the time what appeared to be good grounds, that I should obtain adequate assistance in the work. My hopes were, however, disappointed.”

Ouch.

He goes on to detail how he spent 12 years working on A all by himself. Then the university asked him to publish what he had, so he threw together the rest of the book, clearly caring less and less the further he got in the alphabet - the entire Q section has four entries - and published… this.

Obviously this is going straight onto my pretentious twat shelf as a goofy conversation starter, but it is interesting and potentially useful if obscure Latin words are your thing. (Did you know “ramen” is a hapax legomenon meaning “a small chip or shaving”?)

So if you ever come across a really obscure Latin word or name that you can’t find anywhere, hmu… but only if it starts with A.

allthingslinguistic

The International Phonetic Alphabet consonants found in English, with keywords and relevant parts of the mouth highlighted and colour-coded. (Source.)

pervocracy

Pronouncing each of these in sequence is a very strange and amusing physical sensation, and I highly recommend it.

elodieunderglass

haha look it’s where those noises live in your dang FACE, TRY IT

elamarth-calmagol

Very helpful actually

dogpuppy

nattousan

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

nattousan

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

nattousan

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

nattousan

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

nattousan

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

nattousan

Madam....

nattousan

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr

nattousan

*melts into goo*

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)

nattousan

in other news, I am losing my mind hairline

nattousan

SHE'S DONE!!

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

nattousan

*does a little jig*

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹

legallybrunettedotcom

what does prev give off?

prophet in the desert

tyrant king

shady merchant

wandering bard

forgotten god

healer in the woods

rebel group leader

average peasant

Voting ended onMay 6

cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords

the thing about rats is that i promise if you manage to overcome the apprehensions you might have on account of them being a legitimate pest. their behavior is so fucking cute. they are jusssst little. social mammals. smart enough to learn when their presence is welcome by the big social mammal and when not. and they are our companions and the consequence of our excess. why should we not have what you have, they asked, and you can't stop us all, they said. Your excess is enough for our hunters to grow into your housemates and feast on us and still we prosper. but humanity's heart grew dark, and they constructed a fortress of black steel named alberta,

cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords

my betrothed has informed me that this post will get me outed as a rat. to which i have to say. hr-rmm. sniffs

cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords

actually what i had to say to them about that was a rant about warhammer fantasy skaven and how i think maybe thats an accurate enough way to frame my relation to ratness. underground its all rats

sometiktoksarevalid

adzolotl

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves A stately pleasure-dome decreed. And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

patienz

they fuck you up your mum and dad two vast and trunkless legs of stone i do not like it, sam i am as small as a world and as large as alone

playwrongs

God moves in a mysterious way:

He gives his harness bells a shake.

What will survive of him is love

If he should die before he wake.

inthefallofasparrow

I had a dream, which was not all a dream. See in her cell sad Eloisa spread, Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars. I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

A sudden blow: the great wings beating still Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.

If I should die, think only this of me, Between what I see and what I say, In this short Life that only lasts an hour Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

atamascolily

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Westron wynde, when wilt thou blow? Tie up the knocker, say I’m sick, I’m dead. I learn by going where I have to go.

animatedamerican

But I am done with apple-picking now, I thank whatever gods may be; I never saw a purple cow, I think that I shall never see.

I have a rendezvous with Death, She walks in beauty like the night – Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, So on we worked, and waited for the light.

lifeafterpsychiatry

Sometimes my little cat will approach me all "what if there was a little cat now" and it's always an excellent idea I love when there's a little cat

the-big-mood

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes