a collection of stuff

Caty|30s|Fiber Artist|Cyber Trash

[obsob]

the joy of creation :3 !! (anything worth doing is worth doing badly)

[airhornsman]

Oh, ow, I've been emotionally affected by art. I needed that.

[xfilesposterproject]

Today marks 30 years of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine! Here's an appreciation post featuring some more episode artwork I've made over the past few years.

[airhornsman]

This is the most amazing thing I've seen all day. I can't pick a favorite. I actually want to cry, this is so good.

[cryptotheism]

It is 1880s America, you are about to spawn as a Historically Significant White Guy. Choose a class:

TROUBLEMAKING FRONTIER PREACHER

Special Power: Good Christian. Your vague adherence to American protestantism will ensure that law enforcement does not bother you whatsoever.

Victory condition: Fuck enough of your followers wives to start an inbred theofascist micronation.

MANICALLY AMBITIOUS CON ARTIST

Special Power: Basic Literacy. You're poor, but you know how to read. They'll never expect it. You may forge literally any document and it will be believed 100% of the time.

Victory Condition: Steal enough money to fuck off to Latin America. A Spanish speaking nation might as well be the moon to your debtors.

EUROPEAN NOBLE FAILSON

Special Power: Colonial Wealth. Your funny accent, foppish dress, and noble title, will make any American think you are totally good to buy it on credit.

Victory Condition: Become the boytoy to the wife of some borderline-gangster politician and save up enough political capital to run for office and get addicted to opium.

DOOMED FRONTIER EXPLORER

Special Power: How The Fuck Are You Alive. Your freakish diet of pork, whiskey, and maple syrup, makes you entirely immune to all physical injury and disease. Somehow.

Victory Condition: You have one mission, and one mission only. You need to piss off some completely friendly natives. You need to piss them off so bad they leave your stupid ass to starve in a food forest they've been cultivating for literally thousands of years.

[airhornsman]

I'm obsessed with this.

[airhornsman]

My mom just fucking speed ran cancer. She went to the doctor and mentioned spotting (she's 67), got tests, got diagnosed with stage 2 endometrial cancer, had a full hysterectomy, and it's gone. And they downgraded the tumor. This was over the course of a month. Don't get me wrong, this is amazing. But only my mom could pull this off and be completely unbothered the whole time.

But, here's my PSA, if you've hit menopause and notice spotting, go to the doctor. Spotting is not normal after menopause, it could be cancer or an infection. Either way, that's bad. And for those of you with boomer moms who were raised to feel shame around periods and to not talk about it, you need to have an uncomfortable conversation about this. Tell them that after menopause spotting or bleeding is cause for concern. A lot of women suffer in silence because they were taught that normal bodily functions are gross, embarrassing, and shameful.

[kushblazer666]

my mom’s getting too into the meme game

[lornagonigall]

your mother is funnier than literally everyone on tumblr

[airhornsman]

I refer to amounts like that ad "usless"

Example: someone leaves one cookie in the package. That is a useless amount of cookies.

[slavery]

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

[pkslider]

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

[low-budget-mulan]

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

The hero we deserve

[treerot]

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

[newterjuice]

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

[siren-singing]

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

[business-pug]

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

[mcr-minivan-deactivated20200108]

god I love tiny kids

[uberfluss]

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

[moth-doe]

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

[armandyke]

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

[bemusedlybespectacled]

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

[itsmydrink]

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

[the-stray-liger]

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

[swankivy]

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

[ibibibi]

oh my god little kids in the library are the BEST one time i was looking for a book and a little girl tried to help me cause we always help HER find the books she wants. sometimes when i’m helping them check out they’ll tell me about the books they’re getting. i know so much about dog man.

[ibibibi]

oh man! another hilarious thing kids in the library do! they will straight up TELL ON THEIR PARENTS!

mom: the book was like that when we checked it out

child, innocently confused: i thought (little brother) did that though?

dad: yes that’s our correct address and phone number

child, barely paying attention: we MOOOOVED!! :D

parent: we never checked that book out

child, trying to be helpful: yes we did, that’s the one we lost at grandma’s house, remember?

me, fighting laughter and trying to decide whether or not the enter the child’s testimony as official evidence or not

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

Day 2 of summer day camp one of the tables of 8-9 year olds was asking if I was a boy or a girl, and I was explaining to them that ‘neither’ could be an answer. And one of the girls SLAMMED her hands down on the table and leaned forward like a lawyer at a cross-examination to ask “WHAT’S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE FOOD THAT YOU’LL STILL EAT ANYWAY”

[dduane]

A moment burned into my brain:

A children’s theater thing in Central Park, sometime in the late 70s. A crowd of kids of ages… oh, 7 to 10 or thereabouts. A fairy-tale-ish story’s being enacted for them. A princely hero’s been given a sword to take on a journey and instructed not to put it down under any circumstances or Very Bad Things will happen.

Shortly the prince runs into a witch (as one does). She wants the sword, and starts wheedling him to put it down, take a rest, it must be so heavy, etc etc. He resists for a while but finally begins to think about agreeing, about putting it down. And while this is happening, a Monster is creeping up behind him.

Shrieks of warning from the horrified audience as the Monster gets closer and closer. “No, no!” “Look out!” “It’s right behind you!” “Don’t put it down!”

And into one of those unpredictable spaces of silence that sometimes falls in live performance, a single voice speaks up. Little girl sitting not far from me, one of those absolutely angelic-faced children, maybe seven years old, like a little doll. And she says, with piercing clarity and sheer bloodthirsty relish:

“Go ahead! Put it down. Let’s see what happens.”

[airhornsman]

I'm in love with this thread (and the fact that THE Diane Duane is on tumblr) and I need to share one of my favorite kid interactions.

I had recently had a procedure done on my eyes, and my right eye had a tiny speck of blood from the injection. A little girl looks at me and says, "Your eye is weird." Her mother quickly tells her that wasn't a nice thing to say and to apologize. The little girl apologizes. I thank her and tell her her mother is right, but it's ok to ask questions. Without skipping a beat, she asks, "Why is your eye weird?"

I was also at target around christmas, and I heard a kid a few aisles over say, "I'm gonna scream," followed immediately by a scream.

[feveredcharm]

As someone who is autistic, I cannot, CANNOT emphasize enough the damage the mantra of 'Do or do not, there is no try' did to me. Is it a quote from a fictional mutilated frog in a just as fictional universe? Yes. Did people take it onboard as an actual Thing to Live By? Yes.

Here's the deal- for me, and a ton of other neurodivergent people, trying is tantamount to one of the greatest efforts we can give. Trying is our best some days. It's giving it our all. We're gonna screw up, and fail, and probably be a little bit sad and angry because of it, but lemme tell you a secret.

Doing things halfway, means we tried. It means we didn't just walk away from it. For me for example, if I'm so depressed or in such a sensory-sensitive space that I can't unload the dishwasher, I might still be able to gather all the dirty dishes and put them in one spot for later. Can't shower? I can still run a warm washcloth over my face and put some deodorant on.

You get the gist. If you have a loved one - family, friend, or otherwise - who is on the spectrum or neurodivergent in some way and you see them struggling, don't push them to 'just do it'. Praise them for trying, encourage their efforts and don't get angry if they have to stop.

Trying is doing.

[ratsetflummi]

same with "don't half-ass things". my life get so much better once i gave myself permission to half-ass anything i want

[airhornsman]

Once I adopted "good enough for government work" as my motto, my life got a lot better.

[queer-as-city-folk]

hi can you pretty please do omaha dreamin'?

2 remain

[airhornsman]

I love this, but to truly represent my home, it needs to be a picture of Rocko and the Dome. I would make it myself, but I do not know how to edit photos. Please see Rocko and the Desert Dome below for reference.

[missamerican-pie]

[airhornsman]

Librarians know how to find information. It has to be on purpose. Though I did work with one librarian who called the process of pushing books to the front of the shelf "edging the books"

[airhornsman]

I need life to slow down a bit. I have a terrible mass of floaters in my right eye, making it effectively uselss. I can't drive, I can barely see, and tomorrow I have work that requires me to be able to see. Oh, I also got west nile virus, which isn't severe, but boy, am I embodying the definition of sickly. And my wife is out of town, so I'm alone with 3 cats who have decided that devil hour is out. Devil 3 day weekend is in. They're all being bastards.

Sweet baby Leela? Absolute bastard baby.

Hank? He's the real life Christian Devil.

Big fat baby Simon? He bites people, specifically me.

[preservationofnormalcy]

I feel confident enough to post these now. A collection of all the existing posters after some edits from the other post that got 13k notes! These are full size/quality. Go nuts.

You may use them for wallpapers, tabletop campaigns, whatever. Consider tipping me or buying a print or sticker on ko-fi here! If you do use them, let me know what for, or send pictures!

[airhornsman]

I love all of these and everything about them.

[chandra-telescope]

hope is a skill

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

[chandra-telescope]

favourite additions

[chandra-telescope]

[tenaciouswritingdragon]

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

[wonderwyrm]

[airhornsman]

I'm having a rough go of it. I had wrist surgery, my basement flooded, my wife had surgery, and our AC died. But the best thing came out of this. We figured out that the basement flooded from an unsealed window and it led to this:

My dad: well, you'll have to caulk the window. I'll take you to the hardware store and we'll get you some caulk. We'll just have to make sure it's the right caulk.

So, I went with my dad to the hardware store and here's how it went:

Dad, as we walk in: we need caulk, where's the caulk?

Dad, as we walk down the aisle: where's the caulk, the caulk should be here

Dad, as he sees that prices are higher than expected: wow, caulk's going up.

Dad, looking for a checkout: we gotta pay for this caulk, there isn't anyone around for me to pay for this caulk

And finally, after sealing the window:

Dad: there was a crack by the window, but I gave it a good caulking so you should be good.

I swear to god, this man is 75. He has to know what he's saying. He has to understand the words coming out of his mouth, right?

[soracities]

Yusef Komunyakaa, from "The Cage Walker", Pleasure Dome: New & Collected Poems [ID in ALT]

[airhornsman]

This tracks. In New York City, it was common for all the psychiatrists and therapists to go on vacation in August. This is also the plot of the delightful comedy "What About Bob?"

[airhornsman]

My dad has always wanted to donate his body to science, but I found out that a couple of organizations rejected him. Apparently, he has too many medical issues, and if he ended up as a cadaver for med students, his many maladies would be too confusing for the students. I also found out my dad isn't a good candidate for colonoscopies because his gut doesn't get clean enough. My poor dad's been diagnosed "full of shit" and "too confusing."

[airhornsman]

Logically I know 5 and numbers ending in 5 are odd. But they feel even. They're nice, round, and easy to do the math stuff with. They seem nice. Odd numbers divisible by 3 are huge jerks. Hate them, they seem like bad people. 5's and 5's family will bake you cookies and knit you sweaters. 3's and their family run criminal enterprises and would stab you in alley.

[mademoiseli]

Which are you? Read all the options carefully before voting

Older sibling out of two

Younger sibling out of two

Oldest sibling

Youngest sibling

Older middle sibling

Younger middle sibling

Middle Sibling

Only child

Complicated response in the tags

Voting ended onJun 2, 2023