Wonderland

Welcome to the vast emptiness that is my mind

[huffpost]

Don’t know if we can look at Coke every the same way again. Be prepared to cringe when you watch the full video  here. 

[verycooltrash-deactivated201505]

sugar caramelizes when heated, more shocking news to follow

[fleshbra]

It’s like that guy setting coffee creamer on fire and being like “people drink this stuff!” and it’s like yeah, a dry powder suspended in air is flammable, shock horror.

[xekstrin]

#i saw a video about how hotdogs are made #PORKCHOP LEFTOVERS OH NOOOOO #??? #get it together people

[geekghoulsmash]

Never show these guys how candy is made, they’ll shit themselves.

[snailchimera]

*quietly facepalms forever*

[pervocracy]

I hate when people try to prove foods are unhealthy using properties utterly unrelated to their value as foods.  You can make anything sound gross if you want to.

Did you know that salt is the same chemical we use to defrost sidewalks?!?!

Did you know that water is a major component in pig urine?!?!

Did you know that bread is made of wheat that has been ground into a powder and artificially reconstituted into a loaf shape using a fungus?!?!

[fuck-social-justice-blogs-deact]

Did u know that oxygen is what Hitler used to breathe?????

[mrrobotico]

Bless all this

[gahdamnpunk]

HELL TO THE YES I would

[gahdamnpunk]

update:

[eroticlizardfiction]

Hey this guy is rapper who raps about cats and how much he loves them go listen to him it’ll make your day

[directoaltacho-deactivated20201]

[sarahmaraerobson]

“The Favorite” by Omar Rayyan

[jade-cooper]

Favorite what? Demon?!

[cheesey-toast]

Loving the fact that whatever it is is wearing a matching flower.

[221cbakerstreet]

18th century Lilo and Stitch

[ringingofraevolution]

so i looked up some of this guys other stuff and I

uh

what the fuck

sexy parrot girls yeah ok

oh look the demon has little babies

[rooksandravens]

HOLY WOW IT GOT EVEN BETTER.

[dduane]

…Goodness.

[turretangel]

Dearie me, what is this that just popped up on my dash.

[estrellafiore-deactivated201711]

What is that orange dragon doing? Yoga or ballet? 😱

[jumpingjacktrash]

his best!

[jewishdragon]

I went to his website and he has a photo of himself:

I love??? so much???

[gingerjab]

The orange dragon thing is obviously having a spa day, damn.

We all deserve a little pampering.

[tiralatele]

[mordepv-deactivated20180117]

Coexist

[conallcd117]

this what i picture world peace looks like

[garbage-senpai]

This is where I want to be

[weezley]

Tiny woman in pink coat is literally me in 50 years

[fousheezy]

this is such a pure video I want to watch it every time I give up on humanity

[thaebae]

i love

[frenchinhalechanelxoxo]

[yuricema-deactivated20230814]

This is gorgeous

[pureslime-deactivated20191020]

this kid is living in 2057

[concisely-confused]

This kid just activated a Russian sleeper agent somewhere

[rukosanada]

[aislingcian]

But why is tristan censored out lmao

[diomdes]

me, as i force a dollar bill into the self-checkout machine: thats right…..good boy……vore president washington

[diomdes]

im begging all of you to stop reblogging th is

[aislingcian]

When I hear police sirens getting closer

Me, a homebody who never does anything illegal: They found me.

[oraclesofnorway]

Your body is an incredibly bizarre machine.

“What you see is a myosin protein dragging an endorphin along a filament to the inner part of the brain’s parietal cortex which creates happiness. Happiness. You’re looking at happiness.”

[andrewbelami]

Look at her STRUT!!! She is dragging that endorphin for filth and using that filament as her runway, bitch.

[deactivatingrealsoon-deactivate]

6 inch heels…..she walked in the club like nobody’s business…..godam…..she murdered everybody and i was her witness

[c0ffeekitten]

A concept: mermaids in wheelchairs

[c0ffeekitten]

Another: shapeshifters with stretch marks

[c0ffeekitten]

Religious vampires trying to find ways to balance their ideologies with their needs

Sirens learning sign language so they can communicate without enchanting anyone

Disabled fairies who can’t fly pushing for accessibility

Spirits helping save people from fires and other natural disasters because they can access areas too dangerous for the living

Dragons becoming foster parents and providing super safe homes for “hordes” of children until they grow up

[c0ffeekitten]

Female werewolves with facial hair and body hair not letting anyone make them feel bad about it

Fae snatching children from abusive homes and raising them in safety while the changeling wreaks havoc

Liberated genies using their power to fight for human rights

[c0ffeekitten]

Witchy cooking shows where witches try to make specific potions or find creative magical solutions to problems

Psychic psychologists and medical doctors who are able to figure out exactly how to help even if their patient is non-verbal, young, or afraid of being honest because they’re with an abuser

Psychic teachers knowing just what to do to help students with learning disabilities

[ravingliberal-deactivated201802]

Yes please. 

[sexylibrarian1]

I just slammed the reblog button so hard my phone broke.

[inumorph]

Hell hound service animals

[beginningwitchyshit]

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

[spellbookbitch]

HELLHOUND SERVICE DOGS

[twelvesclockworksquirrel]

Leprechauns paying off overdue school lunch fees and student loans and rent/utility bills for charitable organizations. 

Griffons policing wildlife preserves and hunting down poachers.

Selkies teaming up with the Coast Guard for search and rescue efforts.

Brownies visiting the homes of people with chronic fatigue to help catch up on chores.

[growingyetstill-deactivated2018]

Undines keeping people from drowning, and keeping sharks far enough away from humans. Salamander fire fighters, telling fires not to burn anyone Sylphs providing eco-friendly air travel (commonly on the backs of huge birds) Gnomes (earth fae) fighting against deforestation 

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

[codyslipring-deactivated2015060]

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

[tumblgang]

She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.

[skuubasally]

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

[luckytaters]

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

[saudadesinfinitas-deactivated20]

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

[drayaintshit-deactivated2019030]

☝🏾😂

[callmedeku24]

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

[emeraldmercury]

Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her

[haiku-robot]

idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

[jacobmick]

Because wise, I am.

[seymonecristina]

Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys

[percyhoneybee]

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

[zeaky]

DO NOT DO THIS.

DO NOT DO THIS.

DO NOT DO THIS.

NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

[silencingthedrums]

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

[gryphynshadow-deactivated201812]

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)

You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.

Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.

Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.

BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.

Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

[pixieiee-deactivated20181212]

so what you’re saying is

i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns

and have grey body paint

[pixelzelo-blog]

i think i know where that’s going

[homestuckpatternreference]

i think we all know where that’s going

[throwbackblr]

[aislingcian]

My heart lol

[weloveshortvideos]

[harcules]

this is what it’s like having siblings

[smolfreedomsupporter]

Accurate

[poorlytimed-deactivated20190607]

the screech lmfaooo

[aislingcian]

I do this this to my kid all the time

[everythingfox]

View this post on Instagram

Watch for your own good

[everythingfox]

WOW 51k in a week

[ramesgameslc]

Dirty cat.

[nyahgust]