alertArchitect @alertarchitect - Tumblr Blog

I'm tired of trying to only be partially myself on here simply bc I kept this blog SFW when I made it in high school

Fuck that shit I'm almost 25 now, prepare for me to make and/or reblog horny & tumblr-allowed NSFW stuff here bc I don't give a damn about separating my online presence. It's all me just live with that

flythesail

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

normal-horoscopes

When I was in middle school we would do these weekly things called "Flag Salutes" where the entire school came out to the quad to stand in big ranks and sing patriotic songs. I lived in one of the most conservative counties in America and the teachers took the Flag Salutes very seriously.

We hated them. We didn't really clock the nationalist nature of the thing but we we hated being asked to stand in a big group and sing songs for nobody. It was boring and goofy. Thinking about it now, it really was just our teachers using us as fodder for a Mass Ritual to Prevent 9/11 from Happening Again.

Eventually, some kids developed a sort of game. The ceremony had all these little dramatic pauses between sections of a speech or in-between songs. Kids would wait for those little pauses and, right before the song started, just shout "NINE ELEVEN!" There was a voice for it to. You had to sound kinda like a Patrick Star or a similar exaggerated dunderhead type character.

It made the teachers incredibly mad but nobody ever got in trouble. The trick was to drop the Nine Eleven the moment before the song started so they couldn't stop to focus on who was yelling. Once they start the ritual they couldn't stop it or the spell would backfire and the Taliban Would Get You or whatever.

the-knife-consumer

Water lore‼️‼️

thelooniemoonie

what the fuck is going on in Kalos

king-carnivore

what really fucks me up about watching the truman show in 2025 is how it's not fictional. truman is fictional, but the truman show isn't.

there's thousands of truman shows. you find them on youtube, tiktok, instagram... family and mommy vloggers, sad beige moms and now the trend of neglectful moms showing the "reality" of parenting. all of them using their kids for entertainment. each child their own truman; living a life manufactured by their parents, a camera watching their every moment, broadcasted for the entire world to see.

king-carnivore

tbh, i didn't even think about that when i made my post and holy shit you're so fucking right

msigma39

Samus Aran

bridget-lover

I bring a “there’s no meaningful difference between men and women that doesn’t exclude someone” to the function that gender essentialists hate

nealashitposts

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

janedrewfinally

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

kosmogrl

wolfertinger666

the plural puppies lesbians wolves (WIP)

wolfertinger666

do y'all like my doggies girls

wolfertinger666

each head has a different clothing style and aesthetic and I wanted to express that than drawing a single static pose!!!

had this oc for ten years now!!! big pups

wolfertinger666

and most of all: THEY LOVE WOMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN#@&++#@@@@#

muppetshow2026

not to give green day credit but it is immensely funny how often Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation will be like hi green day play my event. and green day is like ok Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation but you know we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians and we are going to play our song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians .and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like ok green day thats cool. and then green day plays their song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like wtf green day you cant do that you cant play your song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and this has been happening in a cycle for 30 years.

theabigailthorn

reminds me of the time Rage Against the Machine were vying for Christmas Number 1 (british public was doing a little trolling) so the BBC had to let them come on and play 'Killing In the Name Of' live on the breakfast show, and they asked them not to swear and they swore

emberry-pie

me when I tell the guy who sings "fuck you, I won't do what you tell me" not to do that

the-punforgiven

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

the-punforgiven

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

the-punforgiven

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

the-punforgiven

Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh

They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them

Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it

the-punforgiven

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

alertarchitect

I would think of this less as "bear casts magic missile," more of "animals' inherent magic makes the folklore about them true."

Saying the true name of a bear does summon one to you. Crows and ravens have a knack for showing up anywhere from a few hours to a couple months before tragedy. Doves gather around places where peace & love are abundant.

They don't actively cast spells because they don't really need to, unless you want to get into all the ways instinctual magical connection could affect evolution (but at that point, there'd be no recognizable animals, so), but they can still exhibit other aspects that are caused by their magic.

pipplepantslovescartoons

I got 2 trans eene thingamajigs... (transish as adult and transish as tweens)

both of these designs are stacks better than my first eene girl designs so yea

winged-void

having day bad enough that you're struggling to mask and disassociate at work is so funny. Oh right I think all of you are disgusting and in a just world you would be unworthy to comprise the soil on which i walk

winged-void

Everyone say Thank You Miss Mordred

at-the-end-of-all

school uniform codes extending to what colours you’re allowed to dye your hair, and what piercings you can have and stuff is so crazy. you HAVE to go to school and you’re not even allowed to have pink hair or pierce your nose about it????

at-the-end-of-all

“oh it’s to prepare you for the workplace” okay. i don’t think any workplace should be dictating what you can and can’t do with your body either and i think it’s strange to decide to teach children that their body is not their own