Peter Solarz
blake kathryn
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Claire Keane
h
JVL
Discoholic đŞŠ
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KIROKAZE
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
taylor price
$LAYYYTER
â
Jules of Nature
ojovivo
romaâ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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đŞź
â
seen from United States
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@alex-heathers
the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from âthe king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but godâ, to âuhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourismâ will never stop being extremely funny to me
the monarchs⌠bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats⌠đ
Delete this account immediately.
I had an interesting night last night
Iâm so glad I have tumblr gold so I can view this post
Tumblr gold users rise up
you can only reblog if you have tumblr gold. dont even try if you dont.
Reblog if you have Tumblr gold
CHARACTER(S) ADDED!
Tumblr Gold Users
I love Tumblr Gold
all timer
cont.
Month seven and your husband arrives without warning. His letters had ceased for a short while and the loneliness of it all almost made you miss them. His writing had improved greatly in the short time, but his spelling is still shamefully horrendous. Or, as he wrote once, whoreandous. You do not appreciate that he knows how to spell whore and not his own name.
Men. All the same.
You meet him at the door, house cloak pulled over your shoulders. The best part of his absence is how you get to relax. Your gown is baggy and wrinkled, your hair is undone: you have no one to impress.
Until, of course, your husband and another man arrive.
"I was not aware of your return," you explain, nearly panicked as you wrap your cloak tighter. Your husband does not acknowledge your shame.
"This is my second," he says curtly. The man beside him is obviously highborn, handsome in the ways girls often whisper about. He bends at the waist in the proper manner, holding a palm out in your direction.
"My lady."
You grant him your hand and the second presses his lips to your knuckles.
"You flatter me," you say. "I am simply a merchant's daughter."
"Modesty. Your family name is well known in The Golden City and the Black Coast. The tales of your beauty were not exaggerated."
Your husband frowns, but that doesnt ruin your joy.
"Are you both staying the evening?"
"A fortnight, if the lady permits," the second says. Your husband looks at him, brow knitted with confusion, but he repeats.
"If you permit."
"I will have them prepare a hearty dinner," you say. "I apologize for my appearance. Allow me to get dressed."
"Are you not already dressed?"
The second laughs too hardily at your husband's question.
By the time the food is prepared, you have dressed yourself in your finest. Jewelry and gems, rich purple cloth your father had saved especially for you, hair twisted into a beautiful updo-
"What happened?" Your husband rises from his seat the moment you enter the hall, nearly knocking over his chair. Both he and his compatriot are freshly bathed, clothing clean and nicely pressed. You take a step back, unsure whether to brace yourself against the hulking form or not, but he does not reach to strike. Instead, your husband's hands find the space above your hips. "Have they not been feeding you? Has the crown not been sending gold?"
"My lord, I don't know what you mean." This is the first time he's ever touched you. His hands are calloused and catch the fibers on your gown. "If anything I have been fed too well, I'm afraid."
"Your waist!" He squeezes his hands towards each other as if to prove a point. "It's half the size!"
Both times he has come home have been by surprise; you hadn't been in a real gown for either.
"I-" you shift uncomfortably. "Forgive me, I... The maid helped properly..."
His second has a fox-like smile as he downs his ale.
"Have you been refusing to eat?"
"No, it's the fashion..."
"The fashion is to waste?"
"Have you never seen a lady undressed?" you ask, suddenly furious.
Your husband goes red.
Not out of anger, but out of a painful embarrassment. His back goes straight and his eyes go wide.
"I--" he stammers.
Luckily, his second puts him out of his misery. "Friend, she has a corset on. Have you never noticed how all highborn ladies are shaped so erotically?"
Your husband's head snaps towards him.
"Clearly you need to spend more time undressing your wife and less time--"
"You will not say such things in front of my poor lamb."
"You two are married! She knows of sex!"
You do.
In theory.
In vague terms.
ive been repeating this in my head all week. auntie likes wearing the strapâŚâŚ.
get you a man who can do both
one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel
Y'all, it gets better. She found out.
We interviewed her, obviously.
update:
Such a developing story.
I love this story
This was a wild ride from start to finish
I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website
Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.
I found it!! The original post!!
HAS SHE SEEN SINNERS
Preferably when she wasnât wearing the retainer.
âIf I had time travel Iâd kill Hitlerâ âIf I had time travel Iâd stop my favourite politician getting assassinatedâ youâre all thinking way too small. If I had time travel Iâd stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
#this post gets me every timeÂ
Itâs from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
#surprise reblog!!Â
STOP ITâS BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!
YOU CAN STOP.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think itâs safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
Iâm killing your parents before youâre born
Still here, whyâd you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mumâs ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. Iâm your dad now.
Isnât that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I canât even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesnât have to
Yes it does.
Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041
We all know who needs to be @âd
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
"what groceries u been into recently" is actually a great question, there's a bunch of good conversations inside it
dsmp fandom heritage post â¤ď¸
I feel an obligation to share this screenshot
No fucking way
just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.
opâs tags are so fucking important to me
artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.
its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post
pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs
Discworld: Wyrd Sisters Director: Jean Flynn | Studio: Cosgrove Hall | UK, 1997
It genuinely upsets me that there are people who call this animation and voice acting bad, thereâs so much heart and soul on display in just this clip alone
At first glance:Â âlol this is going to be one of those hilariously cheap animationsâ
30 seconds in: ââŚOh my god this is fantasticâ
âWHO DARES TO INVOKE WXRTHLTL-JWLPKLZ?â âWhere were you when the vowels were beinâ handed out, behind the door??â
its hard for Bruce to be human.
