Fun and useful stuff below, but pin posts are annoying to scroll past without a
Ey y'all, i'm blaze. Or type. Or typo. Or Nill. I have a lot of ideas, and a very bad sleep schedule. We live in your walls and think that you should drink more water. If we like you, we will make you have healthy habits. by force if necessary. You may notice that I occasionally refer to ourselves as a collective, this is because I am twelve kobalds stuffed into a cotton suit and given a flamethrower. We mean 12 metaphorically, i use speak to type, and I think it's a stutter the rest is real. I am immune to the cold and attempt to drink the blood of wood, of course i'm canadian. I also usually put in more paragraph breaks, but oh well, suffer. I have several famous friends that I can summon, a couple even more famous friends that I can't, and i've gotten bored of writing this paragraph. I've made each line a different color to make it easier to read, unless you're not on a phone. If we're not at a phone, i'm laughing at you
WARNINGS:
THIS USER IS CANADIAN AND WILL COMMIT WAR CRIMES
THIS USER WISHES TO COMMIT, WHAT WOULD BE CRIMES AGAINST NATURE AGAINST GENERATIVE ALGORITHMS.
THIS USER REFUSES TO CALL GENERATIVE ALGORITHMS INTELLIGENT.
THIS USER IS ONLY HUMAN BECAUSE THEY DECIDED TO BE
This user is in your walls.
This user is watching.
This user thinks you are dehydrated
Old one/picrew list
side blog for Fate's collide ( @fate-warsond-eath )
Silly Game Time: What are 3 places you'd like to visit? The more specific, the better!
(For Example: I want to visit South Korea, yeah, but more specifically, I wanna visit the giant statue of Yi Soon-Sin in South Korea.)
The mountainside edge of the gobi desert I think would be cool to see, i wanna look up at rio de janeiro from the bay, and it would be pretty cool to go back to the top of the new hamshire mountains
saw someone saying that my new book sounds too convoluted, and can I just say, what the fuck is so convoluted about a brain slug alien taking over the Canadian parliament and then getting run over by a truck and isekaid into a fantasy world where a goddess tasks him to kill the demon lord and reincarnates him into a pale twink but he falls in love/lust with a spider centaur instead? hello????
genuine sincere question but why does he need to be in canada at all at the start. why set it up with him being an alien in a foreign world he is unfamiliar with and is strange to him, meaning he has no real attachment to it or knowledge of it, and then immediately send him to a different world that he is unfamiliar with. why not just have an alien crash on a fantasy world would that not have the same effect entirely? lands a spaceship on top of the supposed chosen one of the dark goddess and then has to awkwardly take their place until the spider romance gets in the way? i see the appeal of the sci-fi and fantasy blend but i don't get why the canada bit has to be there like, thematically or structurally, so I'm wondering what the appeal of it is for you to have it set up in this way
it is fun, because when he's a brain slug in a Canadian setting, he has the ability to 'mask'. because he's puppeting someone's body and wrapped around their brain, and he can use what's left of their mind to smooth out any social situations.
but once he's isekaid and transmogrified into a full on human being, that's it, no more convenient brain to reference! so he almost completely loses the ability to act human, and has to just rely on the scraps he remembers from the last body. which adds another layer of "oh, I'm fucked" that you wouldn't usually get in an isekai
As funny as it is that rocky sees grace and complains about grace and humans in general as a terribly inefficient blob of water and fluids and teases constantly...
I REALLY think this should be a relatively rocky-exclusive perspective. He's watched this incredibly stressed human drip all kinds of tears and goos while they were floating around in space, and grace let down basically all of his guard around rocky personally, have discussed and understood eachother over life threatening missions. To Rocky, grace is Grace!
But grace does have some naturally combative push to him (see, the commentary that got him stonewalled in the scientific community in the first place, and being able to keep up with and handle Eva stratt) and further more, when an eridian is Not Rocky, i.e. not incredibly socially withdrawn and traumatized and maybe on their own spectrum of divergence before his ill fated mission and was very susceptible to latching onto a strange and unusual creature in just as much crisis as him...
That is to say. The eridians are going to meet grace with wildly different priorities and expectations. And what they're going to get is a human dangerously close to deaths door, and cornered and dying humans aren't always the most friendly or cooperative and friendly, even the Nicest Humans You Can Get.
So they get a dying human. And as tumblr loves to say, humans are terrifying to aliens, and fuck do they persist. Rocky's so-described "pathetic space blob" grace is terrifying to most eridians, especially the scientists studying him.
He drinks solvent and breaths combustion. Instead of simply dying when his body runs out of nutrients and calorie stores, it has begun to Digest Itself. His body is pumping chemicals they do not understand and every chemistry panel they run shows new levels of new chemicals and hormones. The human body replaces most of its cells constantly because even breathing, especially at a higher atmospheric pressure, is destroying their own lungs.
This thing "hears" things they cannot comprehend and he is unable to describe beyond "color" and "brightness" which are things you can not contextualize, and calls the strangest things beautiful. It has no entirely discernable traits you can understand ecologically as a predator- no armor, no weapons- and yet it eats meat and that is one of the many nutrients it needs to survive. You as a resident of erid do not have many creatures with "eyes" and so have no idea that the strongest mark of a predator is neither claw nor fang, but forward facing eyes, all the better to catch your prey, to meet a foe head on and fearless. You just know it "sees" and that it eats meat, and many other complicated things.
And in place of not receiving all those nutrients, it's body will litterally digest itself and keep going without them. Oh, this new chemical in it's latest blood panel allows it to ignore it's own pain to the point it won't realize it's injured. It can wake up from a dead sleep if you are too loud or too "brightness" around it. It speaks in an archaic graveling noise and is capable of imitating the strangest things, including a haunting near-vocalization of the eridani language of its own, which it calls "singing" and it does this at the strangest of times, when happy and when nervous. It is neither fast nor slow, but over time and observation, you realize this strange towering bipedal creature expends an entirely minimal amount of energy to walk, a process of controlled falling turned mobilization. You hypothesize that for lack of predatory weaponry like claws or sharp teeth, this thing simply evolved to follow you. To "see" you with it's forward facing eyes even in total stillness, total silence, and follow for as long as it takes: it won't spend much energy, and it won't starve waiting for you to exhaust. It'll start digesting *itself* while waiting for it's prey to lay down and have to sleep. It will "watch" you sleep with "eyes." You cannot wake up the way it can, and it will eventually catch up to you.
Also sometimes it cries excess amounts of saline rich solvent when you compliment it's latest research paper. Rocky calls him an idiot and the overseeing eridian scientists watch on with a sense of morbid eldrich horror. Right, right, just a "leaky space blob", sure.
They're kind of terrified of the future delegations with this planet. They litterally get to space by explosion. Not only are they scary- they're INSANE. And they're told the one they have is "a push over".
Silly Game Time: They just updated the operating system that controls reality (oh, by the way, your reality is a simulation controlled by a reprogrammable operating system—sorry about that) and it's now impossible to use all the swear words people used just yesterday. What is a replacement (or some replacements) you would suggest people use from now on?
Ha, no. Y'all can come up with your own. I didn't feel the need to use them beforehand (two exceptions)
Eridians can't see*, smell, and hopefully can't taste. Does this mean they only have 2 fucking senses?
I thought Grace would already be freaky with just the ability to perceive light alone but it would probably be way worse when it gets learnt that he has three additional senses over Rocky and all other Eridians for that matter.
Like,
Rocky: Constructing the biodome will be easy. The only thing we'll struggle on is sight since humans have 3 senses instead of 2.
Grace: 5.
Rocky: what?
Grace: we have 5 senses. debatably 6, though its unproven. sometimes people even think we have a 7th.
A Series of Unfortunate Events AU where the Baudelaire siblings (after however many tragedies you like) are taken in by the Addams family. This one sticks. Count Olaf is dead within two days of showing up.
I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide
