Zizi

Alezee Genderfluid (they/them) Fanfiction author, science student, musician. 🦕🦖🐳🐋🐘🐙

[alezee]

This blog is dedicated primarily to marvel, writing and books, AO3, and other fanfiction things. My asks and DMs are open if you wanna talk about writing.

My AO3 is PixieCola

[lyraloxias]

"I asked chatgpt-"

Well I asked Wylan Van Eck, and he said not all poisons have an antidote.

[thrilm]

[thrilm]

[ink-stained-ambition]

That one trend that’s like a person in a darker aesthetic and it reads ‘wait I forgot my color’ and then they go out of screen and grab a person in a much brighter/more colorful aesthetic, but make it Kaz and Jesper.

[halfseaweed]

the way wylan's first impression of jesper was literally just his lips and jesper's first impression of wylan was that he was 'easy to rattle' they were both down bad from day one and neither of them knew it

[cryptidstealingyourcreditcard]

so obsessed with the way that wylan constantly and consistently puts his entire heart and soul into committing to a bit. astronomical ride-or-die friend. truly no one is doing it like he is.

[fishinabirdcage]

I feel like because Wylan was so sheltered growing up, he wouldn't realize beating your kid (verbally and/or physically) as punishment wasn't normal. Jan Van Dick would have probably told him that he was just weak for not being able to take it like every other kid. And Wylan would only find out once Jesper or somebody explained that no, parents who love their kids don't abuse them. Yes I will be writing this into a fic eventually

[alezee]

Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's moral.

[thrilm]

[th4tweirdr0mantic]

Wylans first thoughts when seeing jesper for the first time being “hes so attractive; is he here to kill me” is so funny to me

[goodmagicianproperthief]

i like to think that kaz is ambidextrous not for fighting in the barrel, not for sleight of hand, forgery, or lockpicking, but because jesper is left handed and used to always sit next to kaz at restaurants so that their elbows would bump together and kaz eventually got ragebaited enough to do something about it

[fishinabirdcage]

Wylan Van Eck Headcanons

(Because this boy takes up 90% of my brain right now)

Has a high pain tolerance. I will not elaborate because it'll make me sad.

Hides it whenever he's hurt or sick, which freaks Jesper out. Wylan now tries to be more open about it.

Extremely independent. Genuinely forgets he can ask for help sometimes.

Prefers tea, but will drink coffee as long as it has enough sugar and milk to kill a horse

Has an incredible singing voice but is way too embarrassed to sing in front of anyone.

Gets cold easily

DESPISES the heat

Sometimes struggles with processing words in a conversation. When the other person repeats themselves he'll interrupt halfway through with a reply.

Perfect pitch

Has an entire music note-coded periodic table. His friends have no clue how to read it.

Does not not like kids, just doesn't know how to act with them

Constantly humming or tapping some kind of beat because it's comforting

Ambidextrous because one of his tutors was convinced that the issue was his left hand.

Can sew

Gained a little weight after CK due to finally being fed proper meals. No longer has twig-limbs.

Got really good at finding solutions to headaches/ stomachaches/ minor wounds/ect because he couldn't ask his father for help.

Touch-starved. Jesper fixes this pretty quickly

A bit of a lightweight.

He's either snarky and confident while drunk or very emotional. There is no in between.

Lethal puppy dog eyes. Kaz 100% uses this to the crows' advantage on jobs.

Constantly doodling

Speaks schoolroom Fjerdan, Zemini, and Ravkan. Loves learning languages and is trying to become fluent in Zemini for Jesper.

Takes things apart in his free time to learn how they work

Fear of abandonment but hates admitting it

He and Jesper immediately remodel the Van Eck mansion. Knocking down walls, painting, everything. Now it's incredibly colorful and looks nothing like his childhood home.

Can identify each of the crows by just their footsteps.

NEEDS routines to function, but also enjoys a bit of spontaneity. Like he'll happily go with Jesper to randomly visit Kaz as long as it's not interrupting his nightly routine.

Hates being treated like a baby, will snap if any of the crows are being overbearing. Then he'll do something impulsive and dangerous but also kinda cool just to prove he can handle himself

[alezee]

These posts used to get to me when I was in the thick of it.

If I didn’t survive my attempt six years ago I’d of never met my best friend.

I would never graduate high school. I would never get an associate in science. I would never get into college. I’d never work in medical, I would never even realise how smart I could be when I tried.

I wouldn’t have watched my kitten turn 7 years old. I would never have met three of my cats.

I wouldn’t meet my two cousins now 3 and 5.

I would never be able to come out and I’d never find my community to be safe in.

Realising I met my best friend only a few years after my attempt and a long stay in a psychiatric hospital felt like a bit of mind fuck. Their life wouldn’t have been changed in the slightest and they’s never know I existed. Though not a day goes by that I’m not behind grateful they’re in my life.

It hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows since March of 2020. I’ve relapsed and I’ve struggled and even my best friend and I have grown apart and grown back together multiple times. Because we’re human beings that change and grow with experience.

I’d lived so little of my life and I count my lucky stars that I’m still alive.

At the time I hated people when they told me it gets better. Nearly a decade ago I tried twice. I trusted people when they said it would get better and because it didn’t I couldn’t find reason in sticking around any longer waiting to be an adult and waiting for the situation to just change.

I could never hate someone for committing suicide because I know how much it has to hurt to come to that decision. I know how isolated and alone and in pain I was before I did it.

I remember how isolated and miserable I was after I attempted when nobody wanted to be around me because I scared them and hurt them. And I remember how every day after I thought of new ways to just end it because some days it felt like the loneliness would kill me if I didn’t do it first.

It hurts to lose a person you loved.

But to be that person is to know it was never their fault and their actions were a last resort.

[raekenyounot]

theo "im an athiest" raeken finding religion in liam in the sense that he's devoted to him with all his life.

[alezee]

I would die for you I would kill for you.

I would be kind. I would reject the impulses to indulge in my violent nature for you.

-Joshua Tree

[hgwrts]

prewar era fun!

uncensored on my twitter