always present but never apparent

Ginger Beer and Ginger Ale are the Same, I Swear

[ymutate]

Hiroo Isono

[urgetocreate]

Hirō Isono (Japanese 1945-2013), Acrylic on canvas

[girlnephew]

[skarchomp]

(obviously hungover film class teacher, wheeling in the overhead projector) okay everyone today we're just gonna do some quadratic equations

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[devilishdescent]

just me and my sleeveless graphic tees and my friends and all the people who love and support me against the world. and weed and beer and hormone replacement therapy also. against the world

[devilishdescent]

and jerking off and tap water and mac & cheese and maybe even a nice nap against the world as well.

[devilishdescent]

AND I AM GOING TO FUCKING WIN!!!!!!!!!

[the-quasar-hero]

You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.

[cursedpinterest]

there was no context

[werewolf-transgenderism]

this is fucking killing me bro. computah, show me more hot hockey firefighters whaling on cops

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[orpheusilver]

just blocked someone for an anti-tofu url. never let your guard down

[orpheusilver]

a number of people seem to be interpreting this post as being about blocking people for silly petty reasons That is not my intention. This is a specifically pro-tofu post And it is serious to me. fuck you if you hate tofu

[joeyclaire]

you are not an endearingly rude and unfriendly cartoon character you need to be nice to people

[maureen2musings]

streetsandsnapshots

[fuck-customers]

[heedra]

In elementary school, my best friend and I had this game we would play where we were school supplies living inside a child's desk and going on slice-of-life adventures inside it. And I remember that a key component of our school supply society was a sort of religious schism that existed around the purpose and nature of the giant hand that occasionally reached in to grab different citizens, use them, and then return them, because most school supplies considered this an auspicious and enviable moment of being selected for a greater purpose and allowed a glimpse of a vast truth, but pencils considered it a horrible portent of doom because they always got sharpened during it and came back smaller and closer to death. We were third graders btw.

[3liza]

if i could make the tumblr userbase understand like five things the first four would be about class consciousness but i would save the number 5 spot for "genetic polymorphisms do shit to your ability to metabolize substances in ways you cannot comprehend, but which are responsible for some people having a heart attack after one panera lemonade and other people needing a Shadowlands to make it through one swing shift, and that's before we start getting into CYP variables like bergamottin and st john's wort". the scatter graph for how any drug works for "people generally" looks someone dropped a can of BBs on the kitchen floor

[thestuffedalligator]

“When we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.

“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”

She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”

After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. “Anyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.”

[draconym]

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

[thegrindingwheel]

So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.

[draconym]

Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs