[thisuserhaspassed]

[magnetic-maverick]

Zuko’s Moving Palace

Art by richimii

[oakfern]

My Cat, Keiko Hiratsuka Moore.

[darkestcinema]

renaissance in the 21st century

[blogitalianissimo]

[tinyphantomsalad]

some more

[kitsunebattleboxer]

the WHAT??

[personification-of-anxiety]

okay, found her

[whenstarsfall]

[whenstarsfall]

some more good replies from the notes

[whenstarsfall]

[camellianswer]

i didnt expect these to hit so hard but then they kept going and going....my god

[the-faultofdaedalus]

magic system where “dark magic” and “light magic” are literal terms - dark magic consumes photons, making an area around the spell visibly darker, sometimes to an Extreme extent, and light magic releases photons.

because of this most dark mages tend to work in very brightly-lit areas (either artificial light or outside in the daytime) to fuel their spells and wear and use lightly coloured clothes and tools so that they’re easier to see in the dimness their spells create, whereas light mages wear heavy, sometimes leaden robes (depending on the work being done) and the magical equivalent of welding masks to protect themselves from what can be an extreme amount of light, and sometimes other kinds of electromagnet radiation!

needless to say this is incredibly confusing for anyone unfamiliar with the culture

[the-faultofdaedalus]

due to the fact that both magics react with basically all of the electromagnetic spectrum - not just the visible light part of it - dark magic is enormously useful for radiation protection (uv-eating spellwork as sunscreen, anyone?), but also has the slightly uncomfortable effect of eating infared as well - which does have the effect of making areas around powerful or prolonged dark magic uncomfortably chilly.

nothing that a nice fur coat or enchanted light-magic IR-emitting lamps can't fix!

[evilwizard]

okay this is some truly genius world-building

[teathattast]

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

chinese mantou (steamd bread) be like

[animentality]

[firstgrave]

kings supporting kings

[cryoverkiltmilk]

method acting as himbos

[creatureprofessor]

maybe you could fix him, but I personally, don't intend to. i want to see him baring his teeth while covered in blood

[luminarai]

good morning to these talented husbands who are both called david and wear the same outfits and to them ONLY

[tlematimun]

from uncle david’s insta:

“thirty years + and counting”

[greelin]

to shreds, you say

[greelin]

literally whatever, wherever, whenever. Just saying.

[runby2]

Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .

[runby2]

You can not just say this without dropping the whole story

[alonelybeemakingart]

Ok so,

My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.

The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:

"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"

The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.

The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:

This is a robbery

[gay-jesus-probably]

Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead

[theprofessional-amateur-deactiv]

I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).

So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.

A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:

Her: how can I help you today?

Him: I’m here to get money

Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*

Him: all the information is on the paper

Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper

SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.

Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.

ONE HOUR LATER

Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.

To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”

Her: I am so embarrassed

FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-

Her: I feel so dumb!

FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)

[bippysaurus-rex]

I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.

He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.

So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.

"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."

This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".

[cheesepoon-deactivated20231010]

@rmilkies

[byrdsfly]

One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.

One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.

My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."

This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.

My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.

[kyraneko]

This is the Bugs Bunny school of robbery reaction.

This is the EXACT equivalent of interrupting the coyote who's chasing you with a DMV office where he has to wait in line and fill out a form.

But with the added bonus of You Walked Into A Bank, Sir, Did You Not Expect To Have To Do Bank Things?

I love it.

[carrionvalentine-moved]

chris fleming is funny because he looks like someone forced a jc penney mannequin to watch sex and the city 57 times in a row and left it on the front doorstep of a gay bar, but you listen to him talk and recount his experiences and he sounds like arthur dent discovering that he's bi at 31, like i could hit chris fleming with a sledgehammer and he'd get up and be like "well what the fuck is this, a home depot?"

[carrionvalentine-moved]

hey so were y'all gonna tell me chris fleming had a tumblr or was i just supposed to find that out that he reblogged this after waking up from a 5 hour nap like some sort of groggy soon-to-be-hired on the spot court jester

[memeclassheroes]

[greywrenn]

#‘el pastel promedio tiene tres leches’ es en realidad un error estadístico. El pastel promedio tiene 0 leches. Leches Georg#quien vive en una cueva y absorbe 10.000 leches al día#es un valor atípico qeu no debería haberse contado (via @deathbycoldopen)

[chaser]

[ojibwa]

the crushing guilt of being unproductive vs the exhaustion of being burned out. fight.

[ursavorpalis]

#aaaaand its listless dissociation with the steel chair!!!

*stamps this as peer-reviewed*