Alkthash

Hi. Call me Alk or Chris, whichever makes you feel comfortable. If you need me to tag something for you, just message me. Or if you want to chatter about anything, also message me.  

[starsandsupernovae]

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need better friends

[starsandsupernovae]

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need to be better friends

[alkthash]

Just saying, a chubby chaser vampire is some low hanging fruit for the erotic imagination. A vampire who can't get over drinking from fat people because they like the taste, and a larger body mass means they have slightly more blood.

[spikedru]

girl vampires are so cool we need more girl vampires in general

[spikedru]

and like. girl vampires who are given the same kind of depth as male vampires of reconciling their own monstrous desires with how human they still are or not. and not like. vapid sexy temptresses or whatever. they have their time and place but i want a girl vampire desperately gripping the sink looking into the mirror just to see what isnt there anymore

[imsobadatnicknames2]

My favorite joke in Metalocalypse is how as the show goes on it becomes increasingly obvious they’re naming characters with the sole purpose of torturing Mark Hamill.

[imsobadatnicknames2]

It’s been almost two years since I posted this but here’s a list of the official spelling of every character he introduces here:

Dr. Gibbitz

Dr. Amon Skagerakk Fredrickshaven

Dr. Donald Gorthian

Ronald Von Momnaldberg

Dr. Natasha Nesciantskidovich

Vicenzo de Alimamala Corningston III 

Professor Jerry Gustav Mangledink

Horace Marmingblat Wimplestein, Jr.

Dr. Chazz Fazzledopenhoffer

Vater Oorlag

Dr. Milminaman-lanilim-swinwamly

Dr. Gibbitz again (but for some reason it’s spelled “Gibbetz” in the season 2 subtitles)

Melmord Fjordslorn

Dr. Ralphus Galkinsmelter

Dr. Amomolith Chesterfield

Wilmore Unduntingiminen

Dr. Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden

Dr. Imptnin Pmiltson

Dr. Tormindbind Mickmildididindnin

Dr. Krumpworth Chponglasia IV, Jr.

Dr. Borgermu Barret Swingdworth 

Dr. Richard Reinhold Rnawighiwowpj

Captain Slufgyflaysid

Dr. Bartholomew Grahsrihajul

Dr. Alsajahb Fifborgiltk 

Dr. Fsmilejera Irlelwoll 

Dr. Commander Vernmim Chuntspinkton

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Like I just love how you can pinpoint “Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden” as the exact moment the joke went from making Mark Hamill say funny but still vaguely name-shaped words to forcing that poor man to pronounce straight up keysmashes out loud.

[supermariomamafucker]

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

[alkthash]

Petition to make metal bands take an online medical terminology class.

[if-i-was-a-wyrm]

sonce the sports are happening big rn where i live i made a handy chart of all the phrases i use to communicate with my loved ones during these trying times. i thought others might find it useful too

ive discovered you can have whole conversations with people using just these phrases and none will be any the wiser that you dont even know what sport it is theyre talking about

[cipheramnesia]

Daily Affirmations for Goons

"I will seize the guy. This will be the last time I fail the boss. I will not just stand there, I will get after the guy. I am what I see in myself, I do not look like a fool through the actions of others."

[flork-of-cows-official]

the soup (ft. @Gr33dyJay)

[shithowdy]

from a certain standpoint birdwatching is a sort of gacha

[shithowdy]

-reliant on RNG random encounters

-instills a deep sense of fomo

-seasonally-cycled releases

-becomes increasingly financially prohibitive the more you want to expand your list and/or document your encounters

-achieved goals sound meaningless to those not in the hobby

[shithowdy]

never give up!

[flork-of-cows-official]

in the club

[msbarrows]

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

[alkthash]

Personally I hope a friend blindsides me with the news in the middle of a call or discord chat.

[danceundersparklinglights]

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

oh! the space needle is a cute mascot base for seattle’s MLB team! i wonder how they managed to communicate that in a big foam costume?

oh

oh

[alkthash]

Many Teen Titans comics could be improved by hitting Beast Boy with a truck.

[chronicgirlfail]

how i feel when literally anything happens:

[medievaljournalist]

American fast food chain 5 Guys announces surprise rebrand to 5 Holy Warriors, in order to, quote, "stand against the darkness"

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[anais-ninja-bitch]

unrestrained summer fun