The Great Theory @all-is-v-57 - Tumblr Blog

[Image description, text: Good afternoon,

This letter is regarding your vacation two weeks ago, and how you let me babysit Smokey, Oreo, and Jennifer. I'd just like to give you a letter of thanks.

As you know, I'm an old man. You don't see me outside often anymore, as these joints aren't as lively as they used to be. To add to that, two years ago, in the midst of the pandemic, my dad got diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. After his death, I was left alone in my home. I don't have a wife or kids. I could go to sleep one day and never wake up again. Every day is spent just sitting around and wondering what I have done for this world.

Until I met Smokey, Oreo, and Jennnifer.

Your pets are the cutest, funniest, and most troublesome (In a good way, don't worry, they didn't mess up the house too much!) individuals. They gave me the motivation to restart my life again. I started waking up early in the morning. I began to take walks outside with your pets for the first time in years. Every 10 minutes, whenever I felt sad for a second, they would bark or rub against my leg and make me laugh.

The highlight of their stay was when I took them to the park. It was the longest time I've spent outside in a while. It didn't just bring back pet interaction. I also met other people, started talking, and made friends with a handful of fellow human beings. I was so happy to finally be able to talk with friends again, interact with others, and feel like I'm part of the human race.

I realize I sound very existential right now, but I'm telling the truth. It's nice knowing I'm doing something for someone, even if it's my neighbor.

I adopted two dogs soon after. (You may have been hearing noise from my home, pardon them!) I now take regular walks to the park with them and talk with friends I made there. Anyways, I'd just like to say: thank you so much. You brought back meaning to my life. And that's all that matters.

Sincerely,

Robert (P.S. I think it's time for you to mow that lawn, haha!)

Description ends.]

grackleclaw

the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.

mikkeneko

it’s true, but think of it this way: your body can switch between dark-mode and light-mode so quickly and thoroughly it activates the parasympathetic response. your skin can synthesize a critical nutrient, even if you don’t get it in your diet, just by sitting in the sunlight! your body is so well-armed against invaders that it can literally fry them alive. the ends of your nimble, sensitive digits have their own independent armoring system against trauma. you can shunt your mental focus between one sense input and another at need. your keratin covering is so robust that it can resist all attempts at hydroxic acid to denature it! your brain is so in tune with your fellow human-bodies that it unconsciously mirrors their states. you form a wonderful biodiverse partnership with millions of microbes to help digest things your body normally can’t. the bones and tendons of your upper cervical spine have astonishing mobility and can recover from twists and bends that might cripple a less resilient design. it took seven million years of human evolution to form you. and now you are so secure from environmental threats that you can devote all your worry to what your fellow-bodies will think of your voice carried miraculously over the technological marvel that you call a phone.

everythingfox

eyes

(via)

blue--folder

Sleeping squirrels in their nest on someone’s windows ledge

aquilea-of-the-lonely-mountain

I never imagined an old TV programme about 2018′s trends in take away food would leave me thunderstruck, but I learned that dim sum literally translates as touching heart and I can only think of this

possiblyimbiassed

Wow - didn’t have the slightest idea! Seems like not a single line in this show is without subtext. :)

prettyrealisticjohnlockfanart

Whoa

loveismyrevolution

That alone is “WOAAHHH” already. But it gets better…

When I checked if this was valid information (as I tend to do, absolutely no offence OP!!), which it is btw, I also discovered this:

(X)

So not only is “dim sum” widely understood as “touch heart” but also meant by saying “drink tea”. And we all know our drinking code, right? 😏

So on top of it, this “heart touching” is in a very “tea” kind of way.

Nice.

undiagnosed-autistic

daphrona

Slow burn but it's written by an impatient person

cheeseanonioncrisps

This doesn't affect the speed of the developing relationship at all, but does make for a very passive aggressive narrator.

sandersstudies

“They looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment...again. Notably, they were not kissing.”

jewish-tutter

someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

rizaoftheowls

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

derinthescarletpescatarian

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

rizaoftheowls

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”