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we're not kids anymore.

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bliss lane
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@allesiagiovanni
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mailman: *tries to put mail in my doors mail slot*
me: *shoves my sword through and goes for the knees*
I swear my cishet husband sometimes wakes up in the morning like “time to be an ally to my bisexual wife by being just a little bit performative” but it’s okay because I love him
The cashier had a pride mask on and my husband whispered to me “I want to tell her I like her mask but I feel like it might be weird.”
My husband will see a piece of pride merch and just put it in front of my face even if it has nothing to do with me and will just be like “this seems like something... you would like”
Husband: *sees a rainbow*
Husband: hmm. Wife.
ma'am, it seems as if your husband is one of them himbos
I heard people like Lady Dimitrescu..
straight man: *speaks*
me and the only other gay person in class:
by Emily Graham
Say this with me. Manifest it. Make it real. “I am not harmed by fire or explosives.” Say that outloud. Remember it. The only thing that’s stopping you is your own head. Never stop grinding.
My Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines character Callista
(She has to sneak into the ice rink during off hours)
From Woroni, 1986.
what I say to myself when I get too worked up and have to calm myself down
my toxic trait is carelessly getting dressed in front of open windows because if someone wants to look in, that’s their problem
Someone: You’re so dramatic!
Me, with a rose between my lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping myself across a piano: I have no idea what you’re talking about
His name is Jaques.
Jaques wears a mask.
Be like Jaques...
Find more on my Instagram as I frequent that more often for now, link below ☺️
https://www.instagram.com/tawnathefox/
made a comic about what I call the Third Cup Mistake, a mistake I make once a week without fail
I just want everyone to know that even though this post contains a literal actual representation of my face, I for sure identify way more with this little dude
who is just working his hardest and doing a great job producing the exact opposite of what anyone wants, even though he honestly could not be expected to produce anything else with what he’s given.
adhdalistair:
penisennui:
(via Justin Jorgensen) “In 2007 I worked with photographers Williams + Hirakawa to create a concept piece of me sleeping on a sheet cake. I though these cakes looked like pillows, and there’s the obvious play on ‘sweet dreams.’
I wondered if I could fall asleep on a cake and have sweet dreams. I didn’t. It was pretty gross really and wasn’t easy to wash off.
A few years later, outtakes from the shoot were sold to Getty Images as stock photos. I didn’t know this until 2011 when one of those photos made #13 on the wildly popular Buzzffed.com list of “60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos.”
Into 2014, the Getty Image photo continues to make the rounds on Facebook and Tumblr.”
i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory
I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me